The Valley of the Shadow of Death

Whenever Draco looked back at the following week, he was always surprised that it actually wasn't that horrible.

When he woke up Sunday morning, feeling infinitely better than he'd felt the night before, he found evidence that at least three people, most likely Avery and a couple followers, had tried to hex Draco as he slept. It appeared, though, that they hadn't gotten past the first couple wards before they'd given up. Draco was alone when he woke up, and he didn't see Avery for the rest of the day. Avery knew better than to fight him in broad daylight anyway. Draco continued to put up extra wards and alarms around his bed for several weeks afterwards, just in case Avery was biding his time.

That Sunday, he spent the morning in the library. Sleep had removed most of the frustration and some of the hopelessness of the day before, and he felt oddly calm and optimistic. He figured the library was worth another try. He didn't find anything, but he figured it was only a matter of time. Granted, he didn't have that much time, but it was still his best and only option.

He left the library only when it was time for his Patronus session with Lily. He was a little surprised at himself for remembering the session they'd set up, what with everything that had happened since. He was even more surprised at how much he was looking forward to seeing Lily and thinking about something other than his impending doom, at least for a little while. He just hoped she'd remember, and she wasn't still angry with him for the block in the Quidditch match the day before.

She was waiting for him in the abandoned classroom when he entered, and she greeted him with a concerned, "So, have you told Dumbledore yet?"

Draco closed his eyes. He'd really been hoping she wouldn't want to talk about this. He considered saying something sarcastic, but he wasn't really in the mood, and it just didn't seem right to snap at Lily. "No, Lily," he said instead. "And I'm not going to. I've got my reasons. Could we not talk about this?" Again, he surprised himself - he usually considered requests like this beneath him. But his usual technique of avoiding lines of questioning by being as belligerent as possible until the person questioning him gave up and left, wasn't an option here. He really didn't want Lily to leave. He had a feeling she was all that was keeping him from losing his mind entirely.

Lily stared at him, then looked down and considered. At length, she sighed and said, "All right. For now, Draco. But this is important, and I'm not going to promise to just sit back and let you destroy your life. Even if you weren't the first person I've been able to talk to in over fourteen years, I still wouldn't want to see that happen to you. You're worth a lot more than that."

Draco blinked, not sure whether to be upset at her persistence, or flattered by what she'd just said. No one had ever told him anything like that before. Before he could decide, she continued, "So. Patronus charms. That is why we're here, right?" She smiled for the first time that day.

They spent the next four hours working, stopping only when Draco had managed to produce a Patronus (or, more accurately, a wisp of silver) from his wand. The memory that produced it was kind of strange - at Lily's insistence that he concentrate on a wholesome happy memory, Draco went through about fifteen, before arriving at the memory of his father's birthday when he (Draco) was six. Draco had spent the previous five weeks working on a drawing, and when he gave it to his father, his father was pleased with the quality and said he would put it up in his study. He'd taken it down a week later, but it had stayed posted for a full week, a sure sign that his father was genuinely pleased.

Lily was obviously very happy with the little wisp of silver from Draco's wand. Draco himself was less than pleased. Four hours, not counting all the time he'd spent before that day, and all that had come out of his wand was a tiny wisp of silver.

At Draco's look of anger at not being able to produce a proper Patronus, Lily chuckled. "Draco, I know it doesn't look like much. But it is. Trust me on this. I really doubt most of your classmates are going to be able to produce even that much in class tomorrow. And it will get clearer the more times you cast it, trust me."

Slightly mollified, mostly by the assurance that he would at least be better than most of his classmates, Draco grumbled, "I was just... hoping for something a little more along the lines of Potter's Patronus, and instead I get this little tiny thing." And once again, he surprised himself. This wasn't the kind of thing he liked to admit to anybody. But then, Lily wasn't the same as anybody else. He had the feeling that anything he said would be completely confidential, and would be even if she could talk to somebody else. A not-insignificant part of him insisted that it was wrong to trust another person so much, especially the mother of his arch-rival, but...

Lily, who after all could not read his thoughts, gave a small smile and said, "Well, you see, Harry..." she trailed off for a moment, apparently unsure of how to continue. Draco had the feeling there was something she thought unwise to tell him, and was trying to figure out how to avoid telling him that thing and still give him an honest explanation. Draco wondered why she bothered - he felt he had a pretty good idea of what it was. It wasn't as if Potter's power was a great secret. It was plainly obvious to anybody who knew where to look.

After a moment, she took a deep breath and said, "Harry's first Patronus looked almost exactly like yours, Draco. And I will tell you the exact same thing Remus told him - at your age, even an indistinct Patronus is a remarkable achievement. Plus, Harry actually got to practice on a - Dementor-like thing - and so by the time you played your - joke..." here she stopped in her narrative to clear her throat disapprovingly, "... he had a much easier time than he was used to, because he wasn't actually under any Dementor influence during your - joke. That match was actually the first time his Patronus was..." she suddenly trailed off, suddenly looking about to cry for some reason.

Draco frowned, wondering what was wrong. Then he decided that whatever it was, it was time to get back to the subject at hand. "Still, I think it should be clearer. And bigger. Definitely bigger." He scowled.

Lily recovered from whatever was troubling her, and chuckled. "Size really doesn't matter, Draco," she said, grin widening. He rolled his eyes. "Seriously, it doesn't. What matters is how bright it is. And it helps if it's clear. But its size kind of depends on its form, and the form your Patronus takes has absolutely nothing to do with how well it fends off Dementors." She chuckled. "Otherwise, Professor Flitwick would be in trouble, wouldn't he?" Draco snorted. Professor Flitwick's Patronus, when he had demonstrated the charm for the class, had taken the form of a baby rabbit. Several Hufflepuffs had commented on how 'cute' it was.

They continued to practice for some time, occasionally taking a break for some talking. 'Talking,' incidentally, consisted of discussing any subject except Draco's impending doom, which Draco was only too happy to ignore for the time being.

Eventually, his Patronus took form. Draco was absolutely aghast at the form it took - it appeared to be an almost-matured lion cub. He could only imagine what his fellow Slytherins were going to say about that. Even Lily couldn't seem to hold back a smirk, as she calmly informed him that it was very rare for a person to know exactly why his Patronus takes the form it does, so he wouldn't be alone. Draco somehow doubted that argument was going to sway his housemates much.

He sighed and muttered, "I'm going to die." The phrase, when he heard himself speak it, brought back many unwanted thoughts, as he remembered just how close to the literal truth that statement was. He'd managed to forget for a whole five hours. A blissful five hours. Now it all came crashing back on him.

Noticing his sudden panic-stricken gaze and knowing its cause, Lily muttered, "Not if you tell Dumbledore about this."

She'd promised not to talk about this. Draco glared at her for a moment, before he abruptly got up and left the room, stopping only to remove the silencing charm. She didn't follow him.

The following week, all things considered, actually went quite well. Draco was indeed mocked incessantly for his remarkably Gryffindor-like Patronus, but at least he was the only Slytherin in that class that managed to produce any Patronus at all. Although most of the Hufflepuffs managed to make one, which was rather aggravating.

Beyond that, his life was starting to settle into a strange routine. He would wake up in the wee hours of the morning, shaking and sweating, get up and go to the library as soon as it opened, and try to figure out how to decipher the CGP training volumes. He had allocated the early-morning hours as the time to worry about the prospect of insanity. That way, he could satisfy both his need to figure out how he was going to survive, and his growing need to not think about the nightmare he was in.

After a couple hours in the library, he would rush to the Great Hall and grab a couple muffins before class. Then he had class, where he was actually becoming quite proficient at filtering out the ghosts and listening to the professors through the incessant chatter. Only occasionally did he come at all close to revealing himself to the ghosts and everyone else, but on those occasions, he would spend the next several minutes fighting back panic. After classes, he would seek out Potter and gang, they would exchange a few meaningless taunts, and Draco would leave, usually in the middle. This served two purposes - it confused Potter and gang, particularly Granger, and it let Lily know he wanted to talk to her.

Then Draco would ditch Crabbe and Goyle back at the Slytherin common room, and head for the abandoned classroom, where Lily was usually waiting. Her greeting was always exactly the same: "Have you told Dumbledore yet?" And Draco would fight down another wave of panic at the mental image of himself telling Dumbledore, and Dumbledore telling Snape and mailing his parents, and his father coming to Hogwarts to fetch Draco for some emergency, and then taking Draco straight to Voldemort, who would probably have some fun torturing Draco for a while before finally killing him.

Draco's audible response to Lily's question was always the same: he would glare at Lily and say, "No." End of discussion. And Lily wouldn't bring it up again for at least a couple hours.

After the greeting, Draco would spend a very pleasant couple of hours talking to Lily. Or, rather, listening to Lily. Sometimes, she'd help him with some of the remedial charms he was still having troubles with, but most of the time, she would talk. Apparently, fourteen years of seclusion while watching her son growing up left Lily with a great need to get a lot of things off her chest.

Draco didn't mind. In fact, sometimes these talks not only provided him with much-needed distraction, but they could also be highly entertaining. Particularly when she started on one of her "rants," as they both called them. Like now, for instance.

"- So, that hellion disguised as a blond pink-skinned hippopotamus in a clown suit that that woman and her great ogre of a husband spawned -"

Draco grinned at the mental image of a hellion disguised as a blond pink-skinned hippopotamus in a clown suit. It wasn't a mental image he was likely to forget anytime soon. Lily had been talking about this for about ten minutes, and he still had absolutely no idea what she was talking about - Lily's rants contained very few, if any, hard facts - but this didn't diminish his enjoyment in the least.

"- he would pretend Harry had done something wrong! And of course my dear sister would take his side - after all, her dear Duddykins can do no wrong - "

Ok, that cleared it up a bit. She was talking about her sister again. Draco figured that in the last week, he'd listened to a total of about three hours worth of ranting about her sister and her sister's family, and thus far, Draco had managed to deduce only that Lily didn't like them because they'd done something to her son. Exactly what they'd done to Potter, was still a little fuzzy. Again, Lily's rants were a little shy on hard facts. Plus, she always seemed to catch herself before revealing anything she apparently thought Draco would use against her son. Not that he could use anything she told him against Potter - not without a pretty plausible explanation of just where he'd learned it. Draco had figured out much earlier that week, that the safest way to not reveal anything to Potter was to simply pretend to not know anything that Lily had told him.

"- never mind that dear Diddydums -"

Draco snorted. Another thing he had yet to figure out was her sister's son's actual name. It rather reminded Draco of his own mother, on rare occasions, when she felt a sudden and incomprehensible urge to call him by some childish and extremely embarrassing nickname. Thankfully, those occasions were few and far between. But apparently Lily's sister did it all the time. Draco suddenly felt a little sorry for the pink hippo. And more than a little shocked that either Lily or Potter could be related to someone like that.

"- is, by far, the biggest bully in the entire London area! Biggest, in every sense of the word, of course! But, no, he wouldn't hurt a fly. I swear, my sister has a blind spot the size of France! And sometimes..." she clamped her mouth shut on whatever she was about to say.

"What?" Draco rather regretted having to speak up - she revealed a lot more whenever she forgot who she was talking to.

She sighed and looked at the floor. "Sometimes, I just really wish I could... talk. To any of them. Tell Harry he's not alone. And... tell him a lot more than that, too. And I'd tell my sister and her husband to get off their high horses and realize that my son is not a house elf..." Draco felt his eyebrows shoot up at this comment. How could anybody mistake Potter for a house elf?? Granted, there was the small stature and the strange baggy clothing he wore all the time, but he was much, much, much too strong-willed to be anybody's servant. Now, Draco was really curious.

She continued with her list of things she'd like to tell people: "I'd tell Albus thank you for watching over my son, and then ask him just what in the hell he was thinking, putting him with the two least-qualified people to raise him in all of England! Severus would have been a better choice to raise Harry than my sister! He would have treated Harry with more respect than they do!" Draco's eyebrows, if possible, actually went higher. If Snape, with his notorious hatred of Potter, would have treated Potter better than... wow. It seemed for a moment that another rant on Lily's sister was about to begin, but she apparently decided to instead continue with her list. "And I'd tell Fudge - oh, there are so many things I need to tell Fudge. Not that he'd listen..."

She continued to list person after person that she would like to talk to, not once looking at Draco. Draco was glad of this - it meant that she wasn't actually asking anything of him - she was just venting her feelings as usual.

A small part of Draco's mind, almost of its own volition, began trying to figure out ways to let Lily talk to people, without letting anybody know he was a Medium. Not that he was planning on doing that. He just wanted to figure out if it was possible. And then maybe he'd do it, if the risk was small enough. He did owe her, after all. For quite a lot - the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced she was the only reason he hadn't gone insane (yet). And he was kind of curious to see what her reaction would be. See how happy she could get.

One solution came immediately to mind. She could write letters. He'd remembered reading in the memoirs the previous Saturday, that a ghost could possess just part of a Medium, usually the wand arm. If Lily could do that, she could write letters. And after they got used to it, it would be her handwriting on the pages, not his. As long as he used school parchments and school owls to send them, nobody need ever know he had anything to do with them.

He tuned out Lily's ever-growing list of people she'd talk to, as he tried to figure out if there were any risks he hadn't thought of. He didn't want to say anything to Lily until he was sure. He knew there were several spells that could tell the recipient who had written a letter, and he'd need to check them out before committing to anything. And he needed to work out how to be sure nobody saw him sending the letters. Or writing them with a possessed arm, for that matter. He'd have to do it all here, in this classroom, and be sure to set up some wards around the room first. On the inside, probably, so nobody would notice the wards and wonder who was in an abandoned classroom.

But the hardest part would come once the letters were already received. He would have to pretend to know nothing about them, convincingly, at all times. One slip-up, and it would be over. Normally, Draco wouldn't worry about this, but he could kind of see himself wanting to take credit, especially to Potter. And for some reason, Draco always had a much harder time lying to Potter than to everybody else. He could still do it, and Potter still fell for it, every time, but Draco always had to work much harder at it.

Plus, did he really want Potter getting letters from his mother, indicating that she'd found a Medium at Hogwarts for the first time? Potter would tell Granger, and Granger was already on Draco's case. The only thing that had stopped her from figuring it out thus far, was that he simply hadn't given her enough evidence. Being caught in the Psychic Studies section of the library could mean any one of a thousand things. But if Lily sent Potter a letter, Granger would probably figure it out. And what if Lily actually said something in the letter giving it away?

Lily would never do that. Not if Draco asked her not to. He just knew. So he wouldn't have to worry about that... but there was still Granger. Draco figured, though, that he could throw her off, if he could convince the three of them that he would never do Potter any favors, let alone send him a letter from his mother. Shouldn't be too hard to do. He'd had lots of practice.

So, convincing everybody that he had nothing to do with the letters should be fairly easy. It wasn't like they were going to instantly suspect him, anyway. After all, he supposed this would qualify as a good deed in most people's eyes, and Draco tended to not be credited with good deeds, even when he did them. Or if he was credited, it was only after people had found an ulterior motive for him. Most of the time, Draco found that extremely aggravating, but in this instance, it would work to his advantage.

So, that just left the detection spells, which he would need to check out in the library. At least this was something he could check out at the library, and nobody would think anything of it.

"Draco?" Draco suddenly realized that Lily had long since stopped listing people she would talk to, and was now looking at him concernedly. "Are you all right?"

In general, that was a very good question. But he was fine right now, at least relatively speaking - the times he was talking to Lily were the only times he didn't feel like the world was crashing down around him.

He gave her a small smile. "Fine. Just thinking."

"Don't knock yourself out," she responded automatically with a grin, but her eyes didn't lose their concern. "Draco..."

"Really, Lily. I was just figuring something out. I've got to go," he said abruptly, getting up from his lounging position on the floor. Lots of things to figure out at the library.

"Ok. But Draco," she began, before he cut her off.

"I know. 'Tell Dumbledore.'" These were always her last words at the end of all of their 'sessions.'

"Exactly. I really can't stress this enough, Draco. You're making everything much more difficult for yourself than it needs to be, and this delay is dangerous."

Thank you, Lily. I think I've figured that out by now. Taking a deep breath, he gave her a grin. "And here I thought you Gryffindors thrived on danger." Then he turned and left before she could try to convince him, yet again, to tell Dumbledore - a prospect that still never failed to terrify him.

Three hours later, he'd researched every letter-detection spell he could find. They were all, as he suspected and much to his relief, based in some way on handwriting. So if the handwriting was Lily's, it wouldn't be a problem. Last barrier down - he'd make the offer tomorrow. He was actually kind of looking forward to it. Probably because it was one more thing he could focus on, that had nothing to do with either the prospect of insanity, or Voldemort.

The next day, Saturday, he was feeling considerably less sure, and he immediately went back to the library to double-check both the memoirs and the detection spells and make sure that a) the spells were indeed based entirely on handwriting, and b) letters written by a ghost were indeed in the ghost's handwriting, not the Medium's. Three hours later, he was once again satisfied, and he went looking for Lily.

As usual, she was by Potter and gang, so Draco had to convince them that he'd actually come looking for them. They exchanged their usual insults with ease - Draco could recite most of his Mudblood/Weasel insults in his sleep. As usual, he just insulted the two of them - ironically, this always got a better reaction out of Potter than if he'd insulted Potter directly. He often wondered why that was.

As had become his habit in the last week, he declared himself bored in the middle of their argument and strolled off to the Slytherin dorm, leaving behind a very perplexed threesome. Granger still had that look saying she was trying to piece together a puzzle. Good luck, Granger, he thought with a smirk. This was precisely why he was behaving like this - if she already thought he was acting strange, it was better to put in some random strangeness to throw her off, than to try to convince her that everything was normal. He had a feeling any attempt to convince Granger that everything was normal would fail, mostly because everything was not normal. Plus, she had to be wondering why he was suddenly spending almost as much time in the library as she was, and that wasn't something he could really help.

Crabbe and Goyle were also puzzled by Draco's behavior, but then, they were usually puzzled, so that was no big deal. After dropping them back at the dorms, Draco told them he was going to the library - this was the surest way, he'd found, to get rid of them. They never wanted to follow him there.

He grabbed several pieces of plain parchment, a couple quills, and a lot of ink, figuring that they were going to have to practice quite a lot before they got it right. Then he double-checked to make sure he didn't include any of the family-inscribed parchment in the stack. After checking that nobody (particularly not Avery) was following him, he headed for the abandoned classroom.

Lily, as usual, was waiting for him. But today, instead of her usual 'Have you told Dumbledore yet' greeting, she gave him an amused grin and said, "We really need to work out a different signal. My son is getting a little 'Malfoy'd out.'"

Draco laughed, something he didn't do much lately. It felt good. "And... this is a bad thing?" he asked as he turned to set up the usual silencing charm on the room.

"Of course," she said with a mock-glare. "Well, I guess not from your perspective, but think how it is for me - having to constantly watch two of the people I care most about, always at each others' throats..." Draco blinked in shock at being counted as one of the people Lily cared most about, and was trying to figure out what to say when Lily continued, "why the spells?" She indicated the extra wards and alarms Draco was in the process of setting up.

Draco suddenly realized he had absolutely no idea how to phrase his offer. It wasn't something he was used to doing. "I, umm, thought we might try something today," he finally heard himself muttering, sounding very unconfident, and annoyingly unlike himself.

"Try something?"

He set up another ward. "Yeah. You know, like writing something. You, writing something, I mean. Like letters, maybe." So intelligent, Draco.

She blinked at him for a long moment, then a slow grin spread over her face. "You're serious? You're serious!" She suddenly looked so ridiculously happy, Draco was torn between saying something sarcastic to break the mood, and grinning himself.

He ended up doing neither. Instead, he shrugged. "Maybe," he repeated.

"I... thank you, Draco." Three words he was not accustomed to hearing. Even when he felt he should hear them. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He shrugged again. Evidently sensing Draco's discomfort, Lily visibly forced herself to sober, and said, suddenly businesslike, "so, I take it you don't mean for me to dictate letters..."

"No! No, then they'd be in my handwriting! Bad." Understatement of the year.

"Right," she nodded, taking in his reasoning. "So... how?"

He blinked. "I was hoping you'd know. All I know is the ghost can take over part of the body - not the whole body! - and do stuff. Like write."

"Oh. Oh." She frowned for a moment, then nodded. "Ok, I think I know how I might do that. Are you sure, Draco? It might be kind of awkward."

Draco wasn't sure at all. In fact, this was beginning to seem like a supremely bad idea. But then... a Malfoy does not make an offer and then back out. Draco lifted his chin and gave her a small, confident smile. "Of course."

She grinned again, as if unable to contain herself. "Ok. Ok. I'm going to get to write Harry!" She squeaked - actually squeaked. Draco tried to suppress a chuckle, perversely pleased with himself for being the one to elicit this reaction from her. "But I suppose I should probably write Albus first, because of that rule, and... but we'll probably have to practice writing first, won't we?"

"Yes. Definitely," Draco cut in. "I don't want any of my own handwriting in the letters." He took out the quills, parchment, and ink and set about getting it ready. "And speaking of letters to Dumbledore - "

"I have no intention of implicating you, Draco, unless you want me to," she interrupted, suddenly serious again.

Draco couldn't imagine a situation where he would ever want Lily to implicate him. The very idea was extremely terrifying. Aloud, he just said, "Good. And no, I don't want you to," he added for good measure, fixing her with a glare, then added as an afterthought, "and no more nagging about telling Dumbledore."

"Draco..."

"I mean it. It's not helping, you know." In fact, it never failed to ruin a perfectly pleasant visit by giving him a panic attack.

She stood there for a long time, considering. Draco was extremely puzzled - he was offering her the thing she seemed to want most, and all he wanted in return was to not be given away or nagged, and she was having trouble with this?

She sighed. "Draco, the 'nagging,' as you call it, is for your own good. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"My decision, Lily. Not yours." He blinked in surprise at his own words. That sounded like something his father would say. Usually to Draco. This was something Draco was not supposed to say because, in his case, it was never true. Except this time.

There was another long pause, then Lily said, "all right." She looked anything but happy at this turn of events. Draco, on the other hand, was very pleased at having gotten his own way, and he smiled as he sat down and rested his left hand on the desk.

The memoirs didn't go into much detail on how this was done, but they had said that the Medium needed to concentrate on not taking back control of his body in order for the ghost to successfully possess any part of him for any significant amount of time. Draco had his doubts about how long he was going to be able to do that (the idea of not being in control of his body was...), which was the main reason he was insisting on practicing first.

Lily had moved behind him, stooping behind him so she could fit her arm inside his. "I'm right-handed, Draco," she said. Draco plopped his right hand on the desk, and Lily moved her own arm so it was overlapping his, looking at the quill and parchment over his shoulder.

"Cold!" Draco heard himself shriek, almost before thinking it, and he instinctively jerked his arm away and started to rub some warmth back into it.

"Sorry. Not much I can do about that."

Draco sighed. This was annoying. He hadn't anticipated it, although in retrospect, he really should have. And if he backed out now, it would... no. He didn't want to. He rested his arm back on the desk.

Lily, as expected, took this as a sign to continue. Draco gritted his teeth against the cold and forced himself not to yank his arm back again. He felt it start to lift of its own volition, and he instinctively stopped it before he could stop himself. Lily's arm continued upwards for an instant without his, and Draco sighed, frustrated with himself.

"Maybe if you warned me when you were about to move..." he muttered angrily.

"Then you would just resist it more, wouldn't you?" Lily waited while he got some warmth back into his arm again.

He sighed again. Yes, he probably would. Again, he plopped his arm back onto the desk.

It went much better this time than the previous two times. He had an easier time ignoring the cold (probably because his arm was going numb), and when his arm lifted, it wasn't as strange a sensation as hit had been the first time. Draco stared at his arm for a moment, then he realized it would probably be easier to not seize back control of his arm if he wasn't watching, so he looked away. It was indeed easier, although it was still very strange to feel his arm move to pick up the quill, fumbling with it a little. And then his arm went numb from the cold, and Draco spent the next twenty or so minutes sitting and trying to think about anything other than what his arm was doing. Or insanity, or Voldemort.

When Lily finally said, sounding much happier than he felt, "Ok, I think I've got the hang of it now," Draco looked down and was rather stunned by what he saw.

On a single piece of parchment below him, was a strange phrase repeated over and over. At the top of the parchment, the writing was shaky and often indecipherable, and there were several blotches of ink. Draco could see small indications of his own handwriting in that section. Each time the phrase was rewritten, it became clearer, less shaky, and more obviously not his. It was nice handwriting, if a little non-descript. Not quite what he was expecting of Lily. It was strange to think his hand had done that, without his willing it, or even feeling it.

"The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog?" he inquired. Interesting mental image, but... why?

She came back in front of him, and gave him a rather weary smile as he massaged some feeling back into his arm. Apparently, she needed the break as much as he did. "It's a Muggle phrase I think I learned when I was about eight. It used to be used to test typewriters to make sure all the keys worked. Because it includes all the letters of the alphabet. It just came to mind when I tried to think of something to write while practicing."

Draco nodded, took out his wand, and muttered, "Incendio," destroying the practice parchment.

"You're not going to do that to the letters, are you?"

Draco snorted. "That would kind of defeat the purpose of going through this, wouldn't it? Ready to write the letter now?"

"If you are."

"Of course." He kind of wanted to get it over with while his arm was still kind of numb, so he wouldn't have to experience the cold more than was necessary. He rested his arm back on the table.

Over an hour later, Draco was in the middle of trying to figure out how he was going to determine whether Voldemort tested for Mediums during initiation, without causing any suspicion. He was working himself up to another nice panic attack when Lily startled him by suddenly removing her arm.

"Finished," she declared.

Draco looked down and discovered a very thick envelope, addressed to Albus Dumbledore. It was already sealed. "I don't get to read it?" he asked with a pout.

She grinned and shook her head. "Lots of private stuff. And," she added, "I fully intend to follow you until you get it sent off. Private stuff. Not for prying eyes," she repeated for emphasis, as he affected an insulted look. "Just so you know, this is what I wrote that pertains to you: 'Dear Albus, it's been fourteen years, and I finally managed to find a Medium. He's offered to help me write letters.' And then a little later I mentioned that 'I'm a little concerned about the Medium.' End quote. I said nothing else. So... he'll know I've found a Medium, and the Medium is male. I trust that's vague enough?"

"'A little concerned about the Medium?'" Draco quoted, more than a little annoyed.

Lily frowned. "Understatement."

"You promised," he reminded her.

"So I did. I promised to stop nagging. And I'm not nagging - I'm telling you what I wrote in my letter to Albus. You were the one who asked about it."

Draco frowned. "Do you want me to mail this, or not?"

Lily gave him a beatific smile. "Yes. Please."

Draco snorted incredulously and shook his head. It really was impossible to stay angry with Lily for more than a minute. "Fine. Why did you have to write to Dumbledore first, anyway? He can't be the person you wanted to talk to the most..." Draco figured he had a pretty good idea who that was.

"I needed to write to him before I wrote to Harry. Ever since last year, Harry's been required to report any unusual packages or envelopes, when he doesn't know who they came from. And then Albus and a bunch of other teachers test the letter or package extensively for hexes or teleportation charms. And then, if it's deemed safe, Harry gets it back - several days or weeks later. I just wanted to give Albus a heads-up, and prove to him that the letters are indeed from me, and not some hoax or plot. Before Harry gets his letter."

Draco looked at the envelope on the desk. It was easily an inch thick. Perhaps two. Lily had said a great deal more in that letter than, "I'm really Lily. I'll be writing to Harry soon."

Seeing his skeptical look, she chuckled. "When I say, 'prove,' I mean 'prove.' That letter contains everything I could think of that only Albus and I know, and maybe James as well - and there's quite a lot. Mostly detailed accounts of times I've been called to his office when I was in school."

"Ah." He was tired. Didn't feel like talking much anymore. He stood up, wincing as pins and needles shot through his arm. "So, you're planning to follow me until I mail this?" He glanced at his watch on the way out, not waiting for her answer. Only six o'clock. Not even remotely curfew yet.

The owlery was, thankfully, empty of people. He stopped to feed Vi, his eagle owl, before continuing on to one of the school owls. Vi was not pleased, but he ignored her. No way was he using her for this, of course - that would be akin to signing the letter "Draco Malfoy."

After giving a school owl strict instructions to deliver the letter straight to Dumbledore, then return straight to the owlery, without returning to Draco, he watched the rather sleepy owl fly off in a huff. Sometimes, he wondered how people could think owls were friendly. They always gave Draco the annoying impression that they were barely tolerating him.

Lily grinned as she saw the owl fly off with her letter. She turned back to Draco, still grinning, waved gleefully and wordlessly, and floated away, presumably to see Dumbledore's reaction. Draco suppressed a smile at her odd behavior and returned to the school.

The rest of the day was uneventful. A lot of boring gossip from Pansy. A couple hex attempts by Avery and his followers, quickly stopped. Dinner. By eight o'clock, he was dead tired, and fighting a headache. His right arm ached terribly. He wished he could go to Madame Pomfrey. Instead, he returned to his dorm.

He crawled into bed after setting up the usual wards and alarms, falling asleep immediately. Just as he'd been doing every night for the past week.

The next morning, he couldn't go to the library. While the thought of not going to the library and figuring out how he was going to survive led to his usual panic, he just wasn't sure he could make it that morning. He was definitely running a fever. He did go to the Great Hall, but only because people would wonder if he didn't. Lily cheerfully greeted him as he sat down to breakfast. "He read it!" she announced, as if it were some sort of shock to her. "And he's convinced, so we can write again... as soon as you're ready. If it's ok. Are you all right?" she asked suddenly. Apparently, Draco looked the way he felt. He wasn't sure - he'd checked that morning that his hair was in place, but hadn't checked much else. He still had a splitting headache. And the strange colored lights dancing in front of his eyes weren't helping at all.

He nodded as imperceptibly as possible, then yawned. On his left side, Goyle was noisily wolfing down his food. He'd never learned to eat with his mouth closed, of course. On his right, Pansy was chattering away. Draco couldn't decide which was more annoying at the moment.

"Ok. I take it today is not an option, then?"

Draco looked at her for a moment, then rubbed his eyes so anybody looking would think he was yawning again, and mouthed, "Four?"

"Four o'clock?" Draco nodded slightly again. "Are you sure you're all right?" Again, Draco nodded. "All right. I'll see you then." With a last concerned look at Draco, she moved up to the staff table, apparently to listen to Dumbledore's conversation with McGonagall.

He went back to bed after breakfast, and slept until three. The headache was gone when he woke up, although the weird colored lights were still there. He dressed again quickly and gathered his things for another letter.

Lily was already waiting for him when he arrived at the classroom at 3:30. "Feeling better?" she asked immediately. It was the first time he'd ever heard anybody other than his father ask that question without sarcasm.

Draco nodded, set up the silencing charm and wards, and got out the things without a word. Lily continued to look at him in concern. "Because we don't have to do this if..."

"I'm fine!"

Lily blinked. "Ok."

Draco sighed. "Look, can we just..." he indicated the desk, now covered in papers. He sat down and set his arm on the desk.

Lily looked at him for a moment longer, then apparently decided it was best to let the matter drop. She moved behind him, and this time, Draco barely felt the cold when her arm overlapped his.

A long time later, he was watching a red, yellow, and blue flickering and shifting light move across the ceiling, wondering what these lights could possibly be, when Lily finally removed her arm and said, "Done. What were you watching, Draco?"

He massaged his arm. "Bug," he said shortly, not wanting to tell Lily he was suddenly seeing colored lights. He had a feeling this would lead to more nagging, promise or not.

She looked at him closely, then sighed in resignation. "The letter's ready for mailing. I didn't mention anything about you in this one, except that this was the first time I could write because this was the first time I found a Medium who'd offered to help."

"Fine." he said, and stood to go before she could change her mind and start nagging him. He could tell she wanted to. She always got that look.

She followed him out, quite obviously trying to think of something to say that wouldn't be considered 'nagging.' By the time they arrived at the owlery, Draco was about to snap that the look she was giving him was nagging, and it was the last thing he needed after agreeing to help her send a message to his arch-rival - which he was doing entirely for her sake, of course. Instead, he found an owl, ignoring Vi, gave the owl its instructions (emphasizing strongly that the owl not return to Draco), and watched as it flew off. Lily also watched the owl fly off, with a strange expression. Like she was holding back tears.

Draco stalked back to the school, frustrated that he was now going to have to attend dinner. Especially this dinner, when Potter got the letter. By the next day, it was going to be all over the school that Potter got a message from his dead mother, and there was a Medium lurking around the school somewhere. If Draco were absent, somebody might suspect something. So he was going to have to go to dinner, even though what he wanted to do was go back to bed.

At dinner, the owl arrived, and Draco could see Lily watching anxiously. After it delivered the letter, Potter watched the owl fly straight back out of the Great Hall, then touched the corner of the envelope in front of him cautiously. When nothing happened, he picked it up and took it to the High Table.

Dumbledore took the letter Potter proffered, stood, and indicated that Potter should follow him out.

By this time, of course, the entire Hall had fallen silent, no doubt wondering whether this was a new Death Eater plot. Draco kept a smirk firmly in place.

A very tense five minutes later, Dumbledore came back into the Hall, this time without Potter. Seeing the entire Hall staring at him, he smiled and indicated with his hands that there was nothing to worry about. There was an audible sigh throughout the Hall. Draco scowled, more than a little angry about how Potter always received this kind of attention. Nobody would care if it was Draco.

Potter did not return to the Hall that evening, and Draco watched as Weasley and Granger waited for a few minutes for him to return, then stood, almost in unison, and hurried out the Hall. Really quite amusing, all this fuss over nothing. Not that he could reveal that he knew that, he forcefully reminded himself.

Ten minutes later, Lily came flying into the Hall, came up to Draco, wiped away several ghostly tears, and said in a rush, "Thank you. Thank you, thank you... I... thank you." Then, looking almost overcome with emotion, she turned and flew out without another word. Draco felt like either smiling or laughing, and he was frustrated that he could do neither. But it had been ten minutes since Granger and Weasley had taken off, and half the people had now left the Hall - Draco figured it was now safe to leave as well.

"Don't get up," he ordered Crabbe and Goyle as he stood. "Find your own way back today." Goyle looked at him open-mouthed, looking even more stupid than usual.

Once out of the Hall, Draco chuckled at his ability to take a normally-sane woman and turn her into a gibbering fool. Then he continued to the Slytherin dorms, exhausted yet again. He really wasn't sure whether the exhaustion was from being sick, or whether it was from the panic attacks, which were hitting him with increasing frequency. Nor did he much care - he just wanted the exhaustion to stop. It was making it much more difficult for him to hide everything.

The next day, to Draco's great surprise, the news of who the letter was from had not spread to the entire school. In fact, Potter was apparently keeping it entirely to himself. Which surprised Draco to no end - he'd thought Potter would at least tell Granger and Weasley.

But no, when he passed them on the way to classes, he overheard Weasley pestering Potter about it. "Come on, Harry, what's in the letter?" Over, and over. Apparently, he'd been saying that nonstop since the letter arrived the night before. Granger looked like she was dying of curiosity. Draco snorted to himself and shook his head slightly as he continued on. So far, he'd passed unnoticed, and today, he wanted to keep it that way.

Potter himself, Draco noted with amusement, was walking through the halls with a dazed expression on his face. He kept checking his bag every few seconds. Apparently, the letter was in there, and he was checking to make sure it was still in there. Every few seconds. Draco found this hilarious, and he wished he could make fun of it - but that would indicate knowledge he wasn't supposed to have. He sighed in frustration.

While the news of what was in Potter's letter hadn't gotten out, the existence of Potter's letter was the subject of everybody's conversation. There was much speculation, none of it coming even remotely close to the truth. When asked, Draco made a few mocking comments about how it was "obviously" a love letter, probably from Ginny Weasley, and it was a good thing she'd learned not to try to sing in her letters anymore. He usually included a few impressions of her singing, as well.

Four days passed, and still nobody had any idea what was in the letter. Draco, in spite of himself, was actually starting to become impressed with Potter for keeping it a secret this long.

Other than the mysterious letter, life had continued as normal over those four days. He didn't write any more letters for Lily - apparently, she thought he could use the break. He could see her point - he definitely felt much better since she'd stopped using him to write letters, although he was still exhausted, and the lights didn't show any sign of disappearing anytime soon. He continued with his routine of studying CGP textbooks in the mornings (after waking up in the wee hours with his heart racing), going to class, talking with Lily in the evenings, and collapsing from exhaustion by eight.

And then, that Friday in Potions, all hell broke loose.

Before class, Draco was setting up the ingredients he knew he was going to need for the class, when Pansy said, "He's looking at the letter again. I can't believe you haven't done anything about it yet!"

Draco froze. Yes, come to think of it, under normal circumstances, he definitely would have done something about that letter by now. He looked at Pansy, who was looking at him expectantly, and with just the faintest hint of suspicion. Yes, Draco was definitely going to have to rectify this situation. Immediately.

His mind raced, trying to figure out exactly what he would have done if he genuinely had no idea what the letter held. Then he sighed inwardly. There really was no help for it. What a waste of all that work... What was Potter thinking, anyway? Reading that letter all the time, right in front of Draco Malfoy...

Checking that Snape was still nowhere to be found, he gave Pansy a smirk, sauntered over to Potter's desk from behind, and quickly reached over Potter's shoulder to snatch the letter out of his hands.

"MALFOY! Give that back!" Potter's face did its amazing color-change trick again, turning dark red in less than a second.

"Why would I do that?" Draco snickered, feeling suddenly back in his element. "You've been leading us all on for a week about this letter - isn't it time the masses were satisfied?" As he spoke, he quickly skimmed the first page of the letter to find out just how much of the letter he could read aloud without actually letting anybody know what was in it. Not much, as it turned out. Lily had introduced herself in the first sentence. Which just left the salutation.

"Draco - Draco, what are you doing??" Lily asked, looking rather guarded.

Potter had stood up and started to reach for his wand, as Draco began. "'Dearest Harry,'" he jeered. "Well, it looks like I was right all along. A love letter, Potter, that is so sweet. And to think you've kept it in your bag all this time, so you can read it before class, and after class, and during class, and in the halls..." he smirked.

"Give... that... back... Malfoy..." hissed Potter, holding his wand so it was facing down for now.

Draco slowly smiled and took out his own wand. "Oh, I don't think so." He pointed his wand at the parchment in his hand.

"Malfoy..." Potter's tone was a warning - it was the tone Draco usually only heard before waking up several hours later with boils all over his face. Like Draco, Potter also pointed his wand at the parchment, his mouth open to say, quite obviously, a summoning charm.

"Draco, don't you even think of doing it," Lily said, her tone every bit as dangerous as her son's.

Now smirking, Draco dropped the letter and muttered "Incendio." And the parchment burst into flames, disintegrating into ashes in moments. Lily screamed incoherently.

"YOU..." Potter turned his wand on Draco, now absolutely livid, and Draco smirked as Snape chose that opportune moment to enter the classroom.

"POTTER! Please do explain yourself!"

Potter glared at Draco for a moment longer, then put his wand away and sat back down at his desk, without a word. He was obviously still furious, and he never took his eyes off Draco.

"I asked you a question, Potter," Snape snapped.

"He destroyed one of my things, Professor," Potter said in a monotone, quite obviously not expecting Snape to care.

Behind Potter's back, Snape smirked a little and turned to Draco. "Is there any truth to this, Mr. Malfoy?"

"No, Professor, I don't know what he's talking about," Draco said. "I was just on my way to my desk, when he threatened me."

Half the Gryffindors spoke up at once. The other half evidently knew there was no point. Draco's smirk grew.

"SILENCE!" yelled Snape. "Detention, Potter, for fighting in my classroom. And twenty points from Gryffindor." Potter took this in without comment, still glaring at Draco. "And another ten points for slandering another student," Snape continued, and Potter took a deep breath and let it out slowly, quite obviously trying not to turn and yell at Snape. Draco's face was starting to hurt from holding back laughter, and he turned his back on Potter and returned to his own desk.

Potter spent the rest of the class period sending hateful glares in Draco's direction. On the whole, the class would have been quite enjoyable if it were not for Lily screaming in his ear. She'd evidently decided to take her own revenge by making it impossible for him to hear Snape instruct the class. She definitely succeeded in that, and Draco was getting quite angry with her, both for distracting him and for apparently thinking that he'd wanted to destroy the fruits of their hard labor. It wasn't like he'd had a choice - and Potter really should have known better than to read that letter in front of any Slytherin, let alone Draco.

He got through the class by copying Granger again. This time, he was doubly distracted by both Lily and the lights, and he was immensely relieved when it was time to leave. Potter wasn't the only one who was furious by that time. How dare she?

Potter looked like he wanted to hex Draco the second Snape left the room, so Draco took a small chance and left before Snape did. Grabbing his bag, he gave Lily a quick glare indicating she should follow him, ditched his fellow Slytherins, and stalked out of the classroom, heading straight for the abandoned classroom.

"Mind telling me what your problem is?" he asked coldly the moment she entered the room.

She stared at him incredulously for a moment, visibly seething. "I shouldn't have to tell you that, Draco. It should be obvious."

"Well, it isn't," he snapped. "What did you expect me to do, Lily? Four days, Potter's still carrying that letter around everywhere, and people were starting to wonder why I hadn't done anything about it yet! This way, they stop wondering. Not to mention, Granger now has every reason to think I definitely didn't have anything to do with the letter. And I don't see what all the fuss is about!" As Lily opened her mouth to retort after a quick glance at the door, he cut her off. "Really, Lily! It's not like your son doesn't have that letter memorized by now. And it's not like it was the last letter you were ever going to get to write to him!"

Lily's mouth closed with a snap, and Draco realized that she'd been thinking that it was the last letter she was going to get to write to her son. Well, that helped explain why she was so upset, but she still had no right to interfere in Draco's classes. He snapped, "although now, it may very well be. I seem to remember you promising not to distract me in public! Do you remember that? I said, 'you do realize that you are not to distract me in public, ever,' and you said, 'of course.' You could have made me give something away, Lily! In front of Granger! In front of Pansy! Do you realize what would have happened if anybody figured it out? Pansy would have heard about it, and she would have told everybody in Slytherin! Including Avery! You remember Avery, don't you? Brown hair, hates my guts, his father's in the Dark Lord's inner circle and one of my father's best friends? He would have been only too happy to tell his father something that would get me killed!" He finally stopped, completely winded.

Lily looked at the ground for a moment, a wide variety of emotions playing across her face. Finally, she took a deep breath and opened her mouth to say something, but Draco cut her off again. "No, Lily, I don't want to hear it. I'm tired, I'm going to bed. And I don't think I'll be able to write any more letters for at least another week! Or longer, who knows." He turned to stalk out the room.

"Draco..."

"SHUT UP, LILY!" he yelled over his shoulder, and yanked the door open. And stopped dead.

Potter was standing just on the other side of the doorway, wearing an expression of shocked confusion. He'd evidently followed Draco here - which meant he must have been there the entire time... Draco suddenly realized, horrified, that in his anger he'd completely forgotten to set up a silencing charm on the room.

"Harry's here," Lily said quietly.