The Summer Before the War

When Hermione arrived at Platform 9 ¾ to go to Hogwarts, she immediately looked around for Harry and Ron, but they weren't there. Twenty minutes later, when the train took off with Hermione and no Ron or Harry, she was starting to get really worried. She asked everywhere, but nobody seemed to have any idea where they were.

Then, about one hour into the train ride, an amplified voice she'd never heard before addressed the train:

"Attention all students. We regret to announce that one week ago, the wizarding community experienced its first Death Eater attack in fourteen years. Three people - Ginny Weasley, George Weasley, and their father, Arthur Weasley, were discovered dead in their home. Memorial services for Ginny and George Weasley, both of the Gryffindor house, will be held on Tuesday at 6:00 PM."

This announcement was followed by several seconds of stunned silence throughout the train. Then Hermione heard Alicia scream from the compartment next to hers. This was followed by several other screams and cries, as Hermione herself sat stunned in her compartment. Next to her, Neville looked much the same way Hermione felt, stunned and confused.

Ginny? And George? It just couldn't be true. They were always so... alive. And how could The Daily Prophet not report a Death Eater attack? Unless Fudge had hushed it up, of course...

A Death Eater attack.

Oh God... Where is Ron? Where is Harry? WHERE ARE THEY??

Hermione leapt to her feet and raced out of her compartment, notnoticing Neville's pleas for her to stay. Forgetting the fact that she'd already asked everybody, she started going from compartment to compartment, frantically asking everybody, except the Slytherins, if they had seen Ron or Harry.

By the time the train got to Hogwarts, Hermione could hardly breathe. Something inside her was preventing her from breathing. This must be what anxiety attacks feel like.

The Sorting Ceremony seemed unreal, watching all of the first-years so eager and nervous and... happy. It wasn't right. She fought down a mad desire to yell at them for being so happy.

When the feast began, she looked around, and saw that several people at the table were crying. There was a noticeable absence of any Weasleys at the table. Seeing all this, the something inside her chest broke out. She pushed her plate away, buried her head in her arms on the table, and burst into tears.

A long time later, something finally made her look up. Perhaps it was the fact that the room, which had been unusually quiet to begin with, had grown even quieter. At first she thought that Dumbledore was about to speak, but when she looked at the head table she saw that Dumbledore (who, along with the other teachers, was looking unusually grave) was still seated. She looked around and noticed that most people were staring in the opposite direction - towards the entrance to the Hall. She followed their gazes.

Harry was walking slowly towards the Gryffindor table, looking very tired. And thin. He looked like he hadn't slept or eaten in weeks. Most eerie was the color of his face - his skin was almost translucent and completely white except for some large dark circles underneath his huge green eyes. He looked... old.

She took all this in, in about a half a second, before she called him.

He saw her, paused for a fraction of a second, almost as if he didn't want to see her, then came over to where she was sitting. He gave her a ghost of a smile, and quietly said, "Hi, Hermione." His eyes held that shuttered look she'd always hated - the one they always held when something was eating him up inside, but he didn't want anybody to know.

That was when it truly hit her. Ginny and George were dead. Gone. She would never see them again. Ever. A fresh batch of tears formed in her eyes.

"Oh, Harry. It's so horrible. They announced it on the train... it's so horrible," she choked out. Harry stepped back and stared at a random point in the general direction of the head table. His jaw clenched.

"Where's Ron?" asked Seamus, her fellow prefect this year.

Oh God. Ron. Where IS Ron? Is he all right? ...No, of course he's not all right, ninny. Who would be? But... I mean, he's not missing, is he? He's safe, right? RIGHT, Harry??

"He's... he's up in the common room," Harry said, and Hermione barely stopped herself from bursting into tears again in relief. Then she jumped to her feet and ran out of the hall almost before she realized why. She needed to see Ron. She needed to know he was all right. She was so intent on getting to the common room to see Ron, she didn't hear Harry calling her from where he was still standing.

When she got to the Fat Lady, she stammered the password (which she already knew, as a prefect), then realized she was supposed to be helping the first years. But... she just didn't care. Seamus could take care of them. She raced into the common room, and immediately saw Ron seated alone at a table, playing a game of chess against himself.

He looked up at her, smiling. The smile quickly froze when he saw the tears on her face.

"Hi, Hermione," he said stiffly.

Barely noticing Ron's decidedly cool manner, Hermione burst out, "Oh, Ron, I'm so s--"

"Sorry?" Ron snapped. "Yeah. I've heard that before."

Hermione gasped at Ron's rejection. "I - I -"

"Save it, Hermione," Ron snapped again. "Really, I've heard it all before. 'Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry for your loss,'" he mimicked angrily. "'Ron, I realize this is difficult, but you're going to have to face the fact that they're dead.' 'Ron, if there's anything I can do...' Yes! There is something you can do! You can leave me alone! You can stop acting like my family is dead! How would you like it if you were in trouble somewhere, and nobody came looking for you, because they all thought you were dead?"

"They're not... But... they said... the - they were f-f-found..." Oh, brilliant, Hermione.

"Shut up!" Ron yelled at her. Hermione recoiled. Then, much to her own horror, she started to cry again, as Ron continued, "don't you dare try to tell me they're dead. I don't need that. I really don't need that! I've been hearing it nonstop from all the teachers all week! The last thing I need is to hear it from you!"

"Hermio-" Harry rushed in at just that moment, then stopped dead at the sight of Hermione crying and Ron's red, furious face. "Oh," he said, strangely. Hermione saw something she couldn't identify flash behind his eyes for a moment, before he suddenly stared at the floor, folding his arms around his stomach.

Ron rounded on Harry. "What? You want to weigh in here? Here I thought at least you were on my side!" Hermione shot Harry a questioning glance - Harry had supported Ron's denial?? Harry, sensing her look, looked up at her, as if pleading for her to understand. But to understand what?

Ron, unfortunately, also saw the look, but misunderstood its meaning. "Oh, I see. 'Oh, please understand Ron... he's grieving for his lost family... he doesn't know what he's saying!'" he scoffed. "Why doesn't anybody get it? They're alive! Dad, Ginny, George, they're alive somewhere! They're not dead!"

"You are such an idiot," said a hoarse voice from the boys' dorm entrance.

All three of them jumped and looked at where the voice had come from. There, gripping the doorframe and glaring at Ron angrily, stood Fred. Hermione stood stunned - she'd never seen Fred look like this. Of course, she'd never really seen Fred angry, but there was more to it than that. He was far too pale, and... something was missing. Out of nowhere, Hermione suddenly remembered something she'd read when she was eight. She'd wanted more than anything to be a doctor that year, so she'd read everything on any kind of medicine she could. One psychology textbook had mentioned grief for family members, and it had had a special section on twins. While losing a brother or sister can be devastating to any family member, the loss of a twin has often been likened to losing half of oneself.

Ron glared back at Fred for an instant - but only an instant. Something about Fred right now was extremely unnerving, and Ron felt the effect as much as anybody. His eyes suddenly filled with tears. "But..."

"They're dead, Ron," Fred said with a shocking bluntness and finality. "They're gone. They're not coming back. You should be able to feel it! It's time to come out of the fantasy world." And without another word, Fred turned and walked back into the boys' dorm, slamming the door behind him. Hard. Everybody jumped again. Without intending to at all, Hermione suddenly let out a sob.

Ron stood where he was, staring openmouthed at where Fred had been, and turning white. After a few seconds, he looked at Hermione, then at Harry, and suddenly ran to one of the bathrooms.

"Ron!" Hermione called. He'd looked so horrified when he'd looked at her, and she could see the beginnings of tears. She wanted to help - even if she had no idea how to do it.

"Leave me alone!" He disappeared into the bathroom.

She stood there for a moment, feeling her chest tighten until she could no longer breathe. All of this is... just so horrible... More than anything else, right then she wanted this nightmare to be over.

She sobbed once, then, as if that had opened something inside of her, she found she couldn't stop. She sat - or rather, crumpled - on the floor and buried her face in her hands, sobbing until her chest and throat hurt.

After some time, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jerked up and saw Harry standing there, looking at her in concern. He'd been so quiet, she'd completely forgotten he was still there. She tried to compose herself, but then almost before she knew what she was doing, she flung her arms around him, immensely grateful to have somebody to hold onto.

She continued sobbing for some time, as Harry rather awkwardly patted her shoulders. Finally, she was able to take several deep breaths, and she started to feel a little better. She pulled away and started wiping her face. "Th-thanks," she started, but stopped when she saw Harry.

When she'd pulled away, Harry had also pulled and backed away, and now he stood at the other end of the room with his arms folded, staring at nothing at all. He looked horrible.

"Harry?" Harry didn't appear to hear, but she continued. "Are you all right?"

That got his attention. His eyes snapped to hers, and Hermione was shocked to see he was angry. He was furious. She could almost literally see sparks coming out of his eyes. "What??" he asked incredulously.

She gaped at him, trying to figure out why he was angry with her. Not to mention, how it was possible for her friend to look so... scary.

He stared at her for a moment longer with his mouth open as he searched for words. "Ron and Fred just lost three members of their family," he finally whispered, shaking with anger, his eyes blazing, "and you're asking me how I am? I am just fine, Hermione. You shouldn't even be asking! I'm not the important one here!" He suddenly wheeled around, ran up the steps, yanked open the door to the boys' dorm, entered the dorm, and slammed the door behind him.

A tad too late, Hermione found her voice. "What the -"

What was that all about?? Once her heart stopped racing, she suddenly felt quite angry herself. She was used to Ron making no sense - in fact, it was a rare occurrence when he did make sense, but Harry could usually make sense when he wanted to. Ok, maybe his actions often didn't make sense, but the things he said usually did. All she did was ask if he was ok. Hardly grounds for blowing up at her... and apparently he was mad at her for not being concerned enough for Ron, of all things! She was very concerned for Ron! How could she not be, with what Ron must be going through? But she was perfectly capable of being concerned for more than one person at a time, thank you very much!

She fumed along these lines for about two minutes, before she suddenly heard sounds from outside the room. Seamus, with the first-years. Suddenly, her brain, which seemed to have taken a hiatus during the last few hours, kicked back in. Rushing into the bathroom, she saw that she did, as she'd feared, look like a wet rag. Quickly washing her face so she would look presentable for the first-years, she took several deep breaths, feeling somewhat better than she had all day. At least the horrible feeling in her chest was gone - she must have cried it out. Hopefully, it wouldn't come back.

Of course, she now had a splitting headache, but that's the price for crying for several hours. Certainly not a good enough reason to neglect her prefect-duties any longer, so she went back to the common room to introduce herself to the first-years and answer their questions.

The next morning, Hermione tentatively came out of the girls' dorm, bookbag slung over her shoulder, ready to go to Charms. It had not been an easy night, for her or anybody in the dorm. She'd pretty much finished her crying, but she still couldn't sleep, even though she was exhausted - half because the crying of the other girls in her dorm kept her awake, and half because she was so nervous she just couldn't sleep. When she last saw Harry and Ron the night before, neither of them were exactly speaking to her. She simply didn't know what she would do without them.

Of the two people she wanted to see, the first she saw was Harry, who had evidently planted himself directly in front of the girls' dorm entrance to wait for her to come out. She stopped short in the doorway when she saw him.

"I'm sorry," he said without preamble. She blinked. "I shouldn't have blown up at you last night," he continued. "I was just..." he faltered, and looked away. Whatever he was going to say, she never found out, for he obviously changed his mind about it, and instead finished, "I was just being stupid. And I'm sorry."

She looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out whether she wanted to accept this apology. She definitely wanted to, and he was obviously sincere, but he was hiding something, and she hated it when he hid things from her and Ron.

But whatever it was, she could find it out later. She smiled and nodded. "It's ok," she said. He smiled shakily and they walked together into the common room...

...where Ron was standing in the middle, as though he simply couldn't get up the energy to move. Harry looked at him for a moment, then walked up to him and clapped him on the arm. There was some sort of silent exchange between them, before Harry suddenly turned, eyes downcast once more, and walked out through the portrait hole.

Ron didn't see her right away, so she was able to take a good look at him. He definitely looked a lot worse than he'd looked the night before. His face was puffy, particularly around his eyes. He'd obviously been crying the entire night. Other boys in the room went around him, giving him wide berth, but she did see a couple girls try to give their condolences. Those girls went completely unnoticed.

Good news is, we don't have Potions today... she thought, incongruously.

"Hi, Ron," she said, then realized she had no idea what else she could say.

He saw her then, and gave her a rather shaky smile. "Hi, Hermione..." he trailed off, blinked, and looked away.

Not sure whether she was doing the right thing, she walked up to him and offered him her hand. He looked at it for a moment, then took it. His chin shook, and, acting on instinct, she moved in for a hug. The next thing she knew, she couldn't breathe, because Ron was gripping her around the lungs with one arm and pressing her face into his chest with the other. His entire body was shaking with silent sobs.

She stood there, holding him and trying to breathe as best she could, for a very, very long time.