Dog Star

Sirius was late to meet James; they had decided to plant a load of Dungbombs outside Professor Sinistra's office and needed time to get back to the Gryffindor common room before all the other students returned from dinner. James had managed to leave the hall without being stopped, but most unfortunately Andromeda had chosen that time to come over and speak to him. He was pleased to see her, of course, but she could have picked a better moment.

He rounded a corner and ran into Peter Pettigrew, who was facing a pair of Slytherin boys - one Sirius did not know, but the other was Snape. Peter looked up at Sirius, eyes widening, then a small smile crossed his face and he turned back toward Snape. "I'm not afraid of you!" he said shrilly.

Snape looked scornful. "Not when you've got one of your friends to save you, at least."

"Are they giving you a hard time?" Sirius asked Peter in a low growl. He dropped his bag and grabbed his wand. Snape laughed at him.

"We're not interested in Pettigrew, Black. We were merely inquiring what you and Potter were up to, leaving the hall so early."

"Studying," Sirius growled. "For Transfigurations tomorrow."

"Indeed." Snape's tone dripped scorn and disbelief. "In that case, no doubt you must return to your common room."

"And don't even think of trying to follow us!" Peter told him.

"I would not dream of it." Snape stood by as Sirius and Peter passed him.

"Come on," Sirius told James as they met up. "We'd better not try it tonight. Snape's hanging around, poking that long nose into other people's business. As usual."

"He's such a git," James said, shaking his head. "Next time let's do something to him."

"You should have seen Peter," Sirius added, with some pride. "Stood right up to them both! Good job, mate." He clapped Peter on the shoulder. Peter flushed red.

"It wasn't anything," he muttered. "You were there, they didn't hurt me..."

"If I hadn't been, he probably would have hexed you," Sirius reminded him.

"But you were there." Peter grinned.

"Where is Remus?" James asked, frowning. "I didn't see him at dinner."

"No, he wasn't there," Peter told him. "He told me he had to go see Madame Pomfrey, that he wasn't feeling well."

"Yeah, he's been looking kind of pale all week," Sirius agreed. "It's hard to tell, he's never looked that great, but I think it was worse than usual."

"Maybe he'll be waiting when we get back to the common room," James said. "Oh well, if we're not using these tonight..." He picked up the bag of Dungbombs and they set off.

But Remus was not in the common room, nor was he in their dorm. He didn't show up until lunch the next day, by which time James at least was becoming rather concerned. "He's missed Transfigurations, he'd never do that," he had said to Sirius when they entered the Great Hall. "Maybe we should go up to the hospital wing and check..."

"No, there he is." Sirius pointed out Remus, sitting alone at the Gryffindor table, and the other three joined him at once.

"You all right, Remus?" James asked as they sat. Sirius helped himself to a plate of shepherd's pie, and when he looked at Remus's own plate, he snorted and gave the other boy a second helping.

"If you don't eat more than that you'll be sick all the time," he said. "Where were you?"

"Oh, hospital wing," Remus said vaguely. "Wasn't feeling well. I'm fine now, thanks," he said hastily as James scrutinized him. He turned half-heartedly to his plate and began to eat.

Sirius tried to convince his parents to allow him to remain at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays, but his father insisted he return. So on the last night of term, he shoved all his clothes into his trunk, locked it, and looked around the dorm room. His friends were all packing their own possessions, or lying on their beds, reading.

"Sirius, aren't you taking your Potions text?" Remus asked, pointing it out on the floor. Sirius groaned, stooped, and picked it up.

"Don't know why we've got so much homework to do," he grumbled. "I'll have it bad enough without this stuff."

James looked at him almost pityingly. Sirius felt a swell of irrational anger. "Don't feel sorry for me!"

"I wasn't," James said quietly. "Look, maybe you can come visit..."

"Not a chance." Sirius opened his trunk, threw the book in, and slammed it shut again. "My father will never let me. I think he's still angry that I'm in Gryffindor."

"He didn't send you a Howler, though," Peter said. "My mum would have if she were upset at me."

"Father would never send a Howler." Sirius threw himself down onto his bed gloomily. "It's too low-class for him."

"Your father's a nutter," James opined. "What's the good of being a wizard if you never use it?"

"How should I know?" Sirius hit the wall with his fist. "You don't use magic for ordinary things, or for fun, or to make life easier on yourself. I guess you just use it to hurt people. Or torture Muggles." He rolled over and stared at the ceiling. "He's so high and noble and worthless! I can't stand him."

"Well, at least it's Christmas," Remus pointed out. "That should help, right? You'll have visitors and such?"

Sirius snorted. "You've never seen us at Christmas," he said darkly. "That dreadful house is worse than ever... there's always a tree, and it's always covered in ice and snow and little gold lights. Not like the ones here. And yes, my relatives will be there, most of them. Uncle Alphard will not be invited, and he's the only one I like besides Andromeda. And even the cook will be too busy to bother with me."

"Well, don't start sulking yet," James told him. "Holidays don't start until we get to King's Cross. And it's only a couple weeks. We'll be back before you know it."

"Yeah." Sirius just lay there.

"This summer, you will come visit, though," James said firmly. "And you too, Remus, Peter."

Peter nodded eagerly. Remus said nothing. Sirius finally grinned.

"I'll be there. Uh... as long as my father doesn't find out who you are. Will your dad have a problem with me?"

"No. He won't." James sat up. "My dad's really great, Sirius, you'll like him."

Sirius watched James merrily greeting his father and mother. Mr. Potter looked very like a grown version of James. There were Remus's parents, embracing him and looking around as he pointed out his friends; and Peter's mother, a nice-looking little witch, hugging her son. There was no sign of either of his parents.

"Master Sirius?" He turned. Wood, the butler, stood there. His overcoat bore the emblem of the House of Black.

"Where are my parents?" This was humiliating. No one was ever met at the station by a servant!

"Unfortunately neither was able to come. They sent me to escort you home. Is that your luggage?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, kicking at the trunk. "Hang on, let me say goodbye to my friends."

"Of course."

Sirius ran over to James, who turned away from his parents briefly to see him. "Oh, Sirius, glad you came over. These are my mum and dad. Dad, this is Sirius... I've told you about him."

"Indeed he has." Mr. Potter seemed to be examining Sirius closely. Perhaps, Sirius thought nervously, he was looking for signs of dark magic.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, sir," he said, extending a hand. Mr. Potter hesitated only an instant before smiling and shaking it. There was something about James's father that reminded Sirius distantly of his own. Perhaps it was the sense that this was a man who expected his words to be heeded and so never felt the need to raise his voice.

"James is expecting you to visit this summer," Mrs. Potter said warmly. "You will come, won't you?"

"If my parents permit." Sirius turned to James. "I just wanted to say I'll see you soon."

"Yeah." James looked back toward where Wood stood with the luggage. "Ah, is that?"

"Wood's our butler," Sirius said irritably. "Father was apparently too busy to meet me." Mrs. Potter looked at him sympathetically, which made it worse. "Anyway, have a nice Christmas."

"You too," James said uncertainly. Sirius looked to where Peter had been, but he was gone. Instead the Lupins were walking over to them, Remus a little behind his parents, looking nervous.

"Remus, introduce us to your friends," Mrs. Lupin said quietly. Remus did so. Sirius thought he looked nervous. "We're so glad to meet you, boys. Remus has told us all about you. It's so nice that he has such friends."

"Mum," Remus protested softly.

"Well, I'd better go," Sirius said after an awkward silence. "I'll see you..."

"Yeah," James said again.

Sirius could feel all their eyes watching him as he walked back. He didn't want their pity! Shouldn't they have been the ones envying him? He was going to be chauffeured home in a limousine, to a house filled with every luxury. There was nothing in life that he did not have. Nothing that mattered. So what if his parents didn't come? It wasn't as if he cared anyway. They didn't love him.

He pulled up short, just before walking into his luggage, and tried to get rid of that thought. It didn't matter. He was a Black. Love was for lesser breeds.

Sirius rode home in silence. He gazed out the window as cold rain fell on the streets. At Hogwarts, the many trees were shining with light and color. Delicious smells would even now be filling the castle. The few students left would have the run of the place. It didn't even look like Christmas here.

Dinner that night was a formal affair. Sirius nearly forgot to dress up, but luckily Mrs. Wood slipped into his room, ostensibly with a pile of folded laundry, and reminded him just in time. He had to leave his hair uncombed, though, to be in the dining room by seven o'clock precisely, at which time his father would arrive for his meal. Anyone not there, Sirius knew from experience, would not eat that night.

His father ignored him during the first two courses, but as Wood cleared dishes away and his wife brought the roast in from the kitchen, he looked pointedly at Sirius and asked, "How have you found your first months at Hogwarts?"

"Great," Sirius replied honestly. "I love it."

His father frowned. Clearly this was not what he wanted to hear. "I was not pleased when we learned you had not been placed in Slytherin. Particularly as we heard the news from Narcissa, not you. Were you too ashamed to tell us yourself?"

"Oh, no, I just figured Narcissa would tell you anyway, so why waste parchment? Anyway I like being in Gryffindor. My roommates are friendlier than the Slytherins."

"Gryffindors have a tendency toward weakness. You must watch for that," his father cautioned. "I suppose it is natural that you would be drawn toward them. You have always been more impetuous than I would like." He paused and took a sip of wine. "Nevertheless they may be useful to you. Gryffindor and Slytherin have always been the strongest Houses. Who are your classmates?"

"Remus Lupin, Eleanor Prewett," Sirius began. His father nodded.

"I know the Prewetts by reputation; a solid family, though of course not our class. The Lupins I do not know."

"Laurel DeWitt, Artemis Cooper, Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew." Sirius took a breath. "And James Potter," he added last, all in a rush.

"Potter." One of Procyon's eyebrows rose fractionally. "Aeneas Potter's son?"

"Yes," Sirius admitted.

"Interesting," his father said. "You are aware that Aeneas Potter is the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement?"

"Yeah." Sirius nodded. "It's a respectable job. They're a good family, too."

"Perhaps." Procyon ate a few bites of his meal, then added, "You must be careful with whom you associate, son. The friends you make now may haunt you or help you, all the rest of your life. At your age, it is hard to remember that decisions you make in an instant can have lasting repercussions, but they can. At the same time..." he took a sip of wine, "It does not hurt to be on good terms with that sort of people. Just do not make them your closest friends." He set down his glass. "You cannot trust the Potter family. They do not have proper wizard sympathies. I believe that Aeneas' wife is a halfblood, and I know he consorts with Mudbloods."

"James is my friend!" Sirius said heatedly.

"And he may indeed be," Procyon agreed smoothly. "But you must not allow any wrong views he holds to influence you. We have our position to think of, Sirius. As my heir you will one day be expected to head the House of Black. Our allies will expect certain things of you. Do not disappoint us, Sirius."

The third afternoon after his return home, Sirius decided to go for a walk. True, it had been pouring rain since he had arrived, so the streets were full of puddles and the people surly, but at least he would not be at home. He picked a moment when his father was in his study, working. He knew he couldn't escape long, but now, while his father was preoccupied, Sirius slipped out the kitchen door (with a wink and a nice ham sandwich from Mrs. Wood) and into the streets of Muggle London. The rain still drizzled from the slate-gray sky, but his clothes all had anti-dampness charms on, so he was comfortable enough. His hair got soaked quickly, though, and plastered itself to his head. To his pleasure, he noted that his reflection in the mirror of a milliner's shop was barely recognizable. He had no aim in mind as he wandered, simply desiring to be out of that house for as long as he possibly could. Perhaps he could just keep walking. Perhaps a motorist would pick him up and he could hitchhike to James's, just show up on his parents' doorstep, dripping wet, without a single possession, and have them take him in.

His reverie was interrupted by loud shouting from a house just ahead. One of the windows seemed to have been left open, and the noise drifted into the narrow street. The rain kept sound from traveling far, but Sirius could catch words here and there.

"Useless boy... always sneaking about, into my... no, woman, keep out of this!" The door banged open and someone flew into the street as though he had been tossed by the scruff of his neck. The boy lay in a little heap for a moment, mud spattered on his robes, then raised his head slowly. There was a look of intense rage and hatred on his face. To his horror, Sirius recognized Severus Snape.

The other boy was staring so intently at the house that he had not yet seen Sirius. His lips were moving, but no word seemed to pass them. His hands clenched in the mud, opening and closing in time with his lips. There was a woman's cry from the house, and indistinguishable words from the man. Sirius stepped back involuntarily.

Snape's head swung round and his eyes focused on Sirius. "You!" he hissed. There might have been fear in his voice. He stood slowly. "Come to have a good laugh at me, Black? I suppose your father told you to stroll down here. Nothing else to do, your friends all off for the holidays, but you can still-" He broke off as another cry came from the house.

"I didn't know," Sirius said quietly. "I didn't know you lived here."

"Where did you think I lived? In a mansion like yours? I know my place." He seemed torn between Sirius and the house, unable to move closer to either. "So go ahead, laugh at me, add more bruises to these." Sirius saw a purple lump under the boy's eye. "I don't care."

"Look," said Sirius. "I didn't know, I'll just be off now. I didn't come here to see you, that's certain."

"So it was just chance." Snape's lip curled. "Now you'll go back and tell your friends about it, Potter and Lupin and that sniveling little Pettigrew."

"Snivelling? From you?" Sirius laughed. "That's really rich." Snape went for his wand so fast, Sirius barely had time to dodge the curse he hurled. Without stopping to wonder how Snape thought he'd get away with using magic over the holidays, Sirius launched himself at the other boy, crashing into him and knocking the wand out of his hand. Now both boys were covered in mud.

"Severus!" A woman's voice, horrified, called from the house. "What are you doing?"

Sirius turned slightly, looking toward the woman. She was small and frail-looking. Her face had a worried expression. She must be Snape's mother... hastily, he stood, backing off and trying to look as though he had merely collided with the other boy.

"Get back in here, boy!" a man's voice roared. Snape's face turned white, whether with rage or fear, Sirius didn't know. He grabbed his wand and stood slowly, not looking at Sirius. After a moment he went back inside the house. The door slammed shut behind him, cutting off the woman's sad-eyed stare.

Slowly he walked home. Snape's home life seemed worse than his own. At least his father never hit him... but Snape needn't have tried to hex him. He hadn't thought of telling James. It wasn't really funny. If it were anyone else, Sirius would have felt a lot sorrier for him. But Snape deserved what he got. Almost. It was the woman whose eyes still haunted him. Her eyes had seemed like those of a trapped animal's.

He had forgotten the state of his clothes, so when he came into the kitchen and Mrs. Wood let out a shriek, he jumped. "What?" he asked, then glanced down. "Oh." His black robes were streaked with mud. His shoes were caked with it. His hair was soaked and filthy. "Mother will kill me," he groaned.

"Not if she doesn't find out," Mrs. Wood said grimly. "Your father is out and your mother is in the parlor, entertaining guests. Wait until I take up the tea, and sneak into your room."

"Regulus?" Sirius asked.

"In his room. He's being punished for causing your cousin Narcissa's skirts to momentarily, ah, disappear."

"Narcissa's here?" Alarmed at the thought of being scolded in front of his least-favorite relatives, Sirius considered heading back for the streets.

"With your mother. Hang on." Mrs. Wood produced her wand and made the mud on his boots vanish. "Now you won't leave marks. Come on, and wait until I shut the drawing-room door." She picked up a large silver tray, bearing the Black family crest, laden with delicate china teacups. Sirius followed her carefully. At the top of the stairs, he waited until she had vanished through the other door, then took off up the stairs as quietly as he could. He made the safety of his room and closed the door behind him quickly. Then he kicked off his shoes, removed his soiled clothes, and put on new ones.

"Been out for a walk, young Sirius?" Phineas Nigellus was watching from his frame. Sirius ignored him. "Your owl arrived while you were out."

"Really? Excellent!" Sirius's bad mood vanished. It had to be from James. Or Remus, but he'd only been home a few days; it was surely James...

It was. James had written to say his parents were going up to Diagon Alley to do some shopping the next day, and if he could be there at noon in the Leaky Cauldron, they could have lunch. Sirius lay back and grinned. His father would never allow him. But tomorrow, Father was going to the Malfoys' for lunch and would be out until at least six o'clock. And Mother was attending the Minister of Magic's wife's Christmas tea. He could probably go without being caught. And even if he did get in trouble later, it would be worth it to see James. As long as Mrs. Wood would turn her head when he tried to use the fire. He'd have to take Floo Powder.

Late the next morning, Sirius snuck down to the kitchen, after making sure his mother and brother were safely out of the way. Mrs. Wood was baking eel pie. He tried not to wrinkle his nose at the smell, but she saw and laughed.

"I agree, it smells as bad as it tastes, but your father thinks Mr. Malfoy may accept an invitation to dinner, and their house-elf tells me he is fond of eels."

"Oh."

"But why did you come down here? It's almost lunch time. I'll give you a sandwich if you'd like."

"No." Sirius hesitated. "Actually I'd like to borrow some Floo Powder. And your fire."

She raised an eyebrow. "And where would you be going?"

"Diagon Alley. One of my friends from school will be up there and I'd like to see him for lunch."

"And your parents..."

"Don't know anything about it, of course. Father doesn't think much of the Potters, he'd never let me go." Sirius put what he hoped was a winning smile on his face. "Please?"

"Oh, well," Mrs. Wood said indulgently. "I must go serve your mother her luncheon in a moment. What happens here while I am gone is none of my concern." She turned back to the stove and dished out a bowl of soup onto a waiting tray. "If you return at promptly three o'clock, I will try to make sure the kitchen is empty."

"Thank you," Sirius said fervently. It might have been only a few days since he'd left James on the platform, but it seemed like weeks already. As soon as Mrs. Wood had left, he grabbed the Floo Powder, shouted, "Leaky Cauldron!" and stepped into the flames.

The Leaky Cauldron was nearly deserted. A few shoppers from Diagon Alley sipped mugs of various liquids; Sirius saw one woman whose drink was giving off green steam. There was Christmas music floating in from the Muggle street outside, where a band of carolers had set up on the corner, singing merrily. Sirius didn't see James yet, so he asked the barman for a butterbeer - a rare treat his Uncle Alphard had bought him once or twice, years ago - paid for it with a silver Sickle, and sat at a deserted table near the window. He spent an enjoyable ten minutes sipping his drink and watching the Muggles hurry by. Most of them seemed to be consumed with their holiday shopping. Women carrying dozens of bags herded excited children through the street. Several well-dressed men strode by, perhaps to pick up a gift on their lunch hour. None of them so much as glanced at the Leaky Cauldron, of course.

"Ha, you made it!" James's voice, jubilant, sounded just behind Sirius's chair; he started and looked around.

"That's right," he said, grinning at his friend. "Just slipped out through the kitchen. If I'm back at three I should be safe."

"Great, let's get some food. I'm starving." James went over and ordered their lunch, then sat down across from Sirius and immediately began talking. "My father's not sure he likes you, Sirius, you've got to talk to him later and show him you're not a bad guy. He's just concerned that you're, you know."

"Yeah." Sirius made a face and drank more butterbeer. "My father has been telling me you're not the proper sort to make friends with, either. Says your father is a bad influence. No proper wizarding spirit." James's eyes flashed dangerously; Sirius held up a hand. "No, I don't buy that load, he's always saying things like that. I just mean I understand what your dad thinks."

"But he's wrong," James said fiercely. "I know he'll see that soon enough." Their lunch arrived and they ate quietly for a bit. "So how are your holidays?"

"Horrible," Sirius said. "Went for a walk yesterday and who do I meet? Snape, that's who, and he tried to curse me!"

"But we're not permitted to use magic out of school!"

"Someone must have forgotten to tell him that. So I tackled him." Sirius smiled, satisfied with the memory. "Got awfully muddy, though, my parents would have made an awful row if they'd found out."

"Stupid git," James said. "Not you, Snape. Snivelling little..."

"Snivellus," Sirius laughed suddenly. "Snivellus Snape!" They shared a long laugh. "I can't wait to get back and try that one on him!" There was another quiet pause while they ate. "How are your holidays, anyway?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, fine." James grinned. "My dad's taking two weeks off, he hasn't had any time away from work in ages, and as long as nothing huge comes along he'll be around a lot."

"Must be nice," Sirius said, while thinking that he would not have been very excited at the prospect of even more time with his father. James's dad must be very different. "And he's shopping?"

"Yes, for Christmas presents. After we eat, we're to meet him - if you have time, that is. He said he'd take me to Flourish and Blotts and... they've got the new edition of Curse Your Friends and Confound Your Enemies," he said in a lower voice. "I think I can persuade him to buy that, we can't of course."

"It's still restricted for children?" Sirius asked. "Why they insist on keeping that sort of thing from us... it's not like Snivellus and his lot don't know those curses and loads more already. We need them for defense!"

"Yes, that's what I've told my dad. He does, er, sympathize, though he's a bit conflicted, seeing as he is in charge of law enforcement and all."

"But he'll do it?"

"Think so." James finished off his plate. "Ready?" Sirius followed him out of the Leaky Cauldron and into Diagon Alley. For the first time in his life, he had the sensation that, entering Diagon Alley, he was walking into another world.

Every shop was trimmed with holly and green. Most of the windows were lit with golden candles. The rain that drizzled in the Muggle streets outside was transformed to large, lazy snowflakes here that melted magically as soon as they lit.

"It's as good as Hogwarts, isn't it," James said admiringly. "That's a nice snow spell they've worked today."

"Where's your dad?" Sirius didn't see him in the street.

"He had to meet someone, he'll be here." James seemed unconcerned. "Nice decorations," he commented, examining the greenery over a shop window.

"I should take some of the holly home."

"Why?" James grinned. "Oh, right. It's good for keeping away Dark creatures."

"So it should make my cousins come over itching," Sirius agreed.

"You really hate them, don't you," James asked curiously.

"I should think you'd know that by now."

"But how'd you end up so different?" James pressed.

"I really don't know." Sirius paused. "Well, part of it was just being trapped in that house. My parents never let me go anywhere except other houses just like ours, with well-raised wizards exactly like my cousins. Or my brother. So I suppose... well, Mrs. Wood is the only person there who actually likes me. And she's halfblood, my father called her a dirty name once when she served the wrong soup. Maybe that's why." He shrugged. "I used to sneak out of the house to go play with Muggle children in the park just because I was bored. My father caught me once or twice, but it was worth it. Anything - anything is better than being cooped up in that house."

"Oh, here's Dad!" James exclaimed. Mr. Potter, arms full of parcels, came down the street toward them, grinning.

"Hello, Sirius," he said. "Did you and James have a pleasant lunch?"

"Yes," Sirius said. "I'm glad he invited me."

"Well, I believe we're going to Flourish and Blotts now?"

"You'll buy the book, then, Dad?" James asked eagerly. "Want me to take some of those things?"

"Yes, I'll get you the book, but don't tell your mother." His father handed him a few of the bags. "And don't drop those."

Mr. Potter still seemed to be evaluating Sirius. He asked Sirius wary questions about the simplest things - whether his mother was well, how he was enjoying his holidays. Sirius answered straight enough but could not help feeling his answers were revealing far more than he'd like. Still, Aeneas Potter seemed to warm to him slightly as the afternoon went on. And it wasn't as if Sirius could exactly blame him for his caution.

Sirius was very glad to return to an empty kitchen. He had not wanted to leave Diagon Alley, but it would have been much worse to find his father waiting for him. Spending the afternoon with James and Mr. Potter had improved his mood considerably.

He remained cheerful until Christmas Eve afternoon. Most of the family was coming for dinner that night. Mrs. Wood directed the house-elves personally, and her husband polished all the silver himself. Sirius had to dress in his best robes and then sit in the parlor as his cousins arrived. Bellatrix was accompanied by her fiancé, Rodolphus Lestrange. The two, Sirius thought, looked like a pair of elegant statues. All the relatives had something not-quite-real about themselves. People conversed in low tones, moved gracefully around the room or sat decorously on chairs. Sirius slouched deeper into his seat, hoping that his sullen look would be mistaken for an expression of worldly disenchantment. At least that would fit with the rest of the room and his mother would not scold him.

He watched his brother, who was talking with a cousin excitedly. Regulus shot a glance at him and looked away quickly. "Stupid git," Sirius muttered. "Wonder what he's up to this time."

"Hullo, Sirius." Andromeda sat down on the arm of his chair, smiling. "You look nice."

"So do you." Andromeda was dressed in a lovely red dress. It made her eyes look even warmer and ore sparkling than usual. Sirius had seen her besides Bellatrix, who was wearing silver, and Narcissa, who was wearing black. Only Andromeda had looked alive. "Lovely party, isn't it?"

"Rather," Andromeda agreed dryly. "I love these family get-togethers. Nearly as pleasant as the more intimate occasions."

Sirius groaned. "I'd give anything to wake up at Hogwarts tomorrow."

"So would I." Andromeda sighed. "Still, it'll come soon enough. And one day, Sirius, you and I shall both be grown and we can have shut of this family for good and all." Her voice was low but full of passion. "Don't lose sight of that. Don't let them twist you, Sirius."

"Oh, never," Sirius said. "You know I've never listened to Father, why would I start now?"

"That's not what I mean. I don't want you to hate them so, Sirius. It will get inside of you and gnaw at you like a growth. They are not worth hate." She followed her sisters around the room with her eyes. "None of them. Don't waste feelings on them. Find people you can love instead."

"Like you have?"

"Sshh!" She blushed slightly. "Father... you know. But yes." She shook her head. "I don't even hate my sisters anymore, you know. I - I pity them."

Sirius looked at Regulus, who was now even deeper in conversation with the cousin. "Maybe I know what you mean," he said, but he felt very confused as for once he really looked at his brother. They'd never had much in common; Regulus was too fond of idle torments performed on hapless house-elves, or petty thievery, for Sirius's likings. But perhaps his brother was merely showing, in a different manner than Sirius's, that he too disliked their parents and what they stood for...