Cruel

A group was gathered by the door. Draco had awoken to hear the scuffling and uncertainties being spoken. If it didn't hurt to do so, he would have laughed. A band of courageous Gryffindors were cowering by the door, afraid of speaking to him. It was then he remembered Weasley wanting to hit him while he was down. What smile he had turned to a scowl. Yeah, you'd better be afraid. However, at the moment you're not worth me reaching for my wand. He considered trying to use his tail for a moment, but that seemed to be too busy twitching with annoyance. He finally sighed and sat up, figuring that looking like he was fine was better than anything else. And in this case, probably well worth the trouble.

"You may as well get over here, Weasel. I won't bite this time."

They hadn't had a chance to move before Harry pushed the lot in. "Come on, you guys. If you're going to be chicken about it, as least keep out of the doorway."

Draco forgot all pain and, finding his tail had seemed to inspire him, leapt off the bed to pounce his new-found lover. "Harry!" There was no way he could miss the look of shock from the other Gryffindors and the surprise and joy from Harry.

Harry laughed and held the smaller man. "Should you be up like this?"

Draco's tail curled a bit and twitched. "I'm tired of laying there."

"Back to bed." With that, Harry lifted him, though with some effort, and laid him back on the bed.

Ron walked up behind him, Neville trailing, with Dean and Seamus behind him. They all gathered around the bed and Harry sat next to Draco.

"So, Malfoy," Ron started.

Draco merely glanced at him. "Don't. Not right now." Ron looked a little confused. "Listen, the last I remember seeing you, you were coming towards me. Then I was in pain and unconscious."

"You fell off the bed."

"Well it was that or you pummel me. I took my pick."

Ron bit his tongue at a look he got from Harry. "Alright. Fine. I will be flying."

Draco smirked. "Good. You need the practice." Harry elbowed the blond, making him wince. "What? Fine, whatever. Just leave me and Harry alone."

Most of the boys seemed quite well with that idea and filed out, talking about how little Draco changed. Neville, however, stayed behind. Draco looked at him then raised a brow. Harry watched the two a moment before speaking.

"Something you need, Neville?"

"Potions lessons, maybe?"

The boy stood there, fidgeting nervously. "I just wanted to know... Last night, when we saw the blood, we all looked and..."

"It's still there." Draco sighed. "Let's just say the Cruciatus curse is good for more than just creating pain. It'll keep an injury well." He reconsidered his words. "Well, alright. There's just a scar, but it still hurts."

Neville nodded and left, going to find the other boys.

Harry turned to Draco, this time needing his own questions answered. "Draco, I know this is probably the wrong time to ask..."

A hand grasped his own. "Ask away, Harry." He looked up into the emerald eyes of the other man, seeing uncertainty and remnants of distrust. "If my answer will give you confidence, then please ask whatever you need."

He nodded. "Alright... Last year you threatened me. You said you'd pay me back for landing your father in prison."

Draco couldn't hide the resulting smirk. "I think I've paid you nicely for it."

Harry had to smile. "Quite well, I might add. But..." The smile faded again, as the memory returned. "Back then, I don't think this was quite what you had in mind."

"No, it wasn't." The smaller man sat up, with some effort, the arrogance and pleasure gone from his face. "Harry, I've had all summer and part of this year to think about it. But when I did, I realized how much I was glad he was gone." He took Harry's hand, squeezing it tightly. "Do you think I would miss what he did?"

"What he...did?"

A nod. "Like the way he would punish me with the Cruciatus curse if I didn't get something right, or if Granger got higher marks than me." He voice was beginning to crack, as though he were fighting to keep his composure. "How if mother ever produced another heir, I would get to feel the killing curse for myself. Then there're the simple things, like how he beat me or whipped me. Of course, it was all healed right away. The only son of Lucius Malfoy couldn't go parading around with bruises and scratches, after all."

Harry looked confused. "But if he was... then why did you..."

Draco's voice became quiet. "I hadn't a choice. For a while, I even thought it was normal. That he only wanted to do it so I'd be stronger, and I wanted that. I think I came close to thanking him once. But with him gone, all of a sudden everything seems better."

"How could you think that was normal?"

"Because the D- because Voldemort did it to him. I thought that punishment was what it meant to be a Death Eater, and I wanted it too."

"And now?"

"I don't want to be hurt like that again..." Then it had gone too far, and he was in tears.

All Harry could do was hold him, unsure of what to say. They stayed like that for some time, before Madam Pomfry came over to remind Harry that he still had classes to attend. Harry nodded and they said their goodbyes, Draco laying down to rest. It was then that Draco remembered.

"Harry! I need a favor."

Harry blinked and turned. "Yeah?"

"Could you ask Dumbledore in here?" He bit his lip, his tail twitching nervously. "I want to tell him. I want to use it to testify against my father."

Harry nodded and left for class. Draco rested.

~~~

Draco was sitting up on his bed, playing with his tail, when Dumbledore arrived. He looked up at the old wizard and shuddered. Something about the Headmaster always did that to him. Perhaps it was because of his father's stories, or maybe even just that Voldemort was scared of that man. What else could be more frightening than the person the Dark Lord feared?

"Harry mentioned you wished to speak with me about something." He sat by the boy's bed, laying a gentle hand on Draco's shoulder as the boy nodded. "Very well. Would you like a drink, perhaps? Something to help you relax?"

Draco shook his head. "No, that's alright. It... It's about my father."

Dumbledore nodded. "Tell me as you wish."

And so Draco sat, telling his story. It seemed easier now, since he'd already told Harry this before. Even so that didn't stop him from fighting against tears by the end. They were the last thing he wanted to show Dumbledore, but there wasn't much choice to the matter.

Dumbledore listened to the entire story in quiet contemplation, his eyes betraying a good deal of sadness at the words of the boy. Draco, of course, wouldn't want pity or sympathy, but someone who would do something, and this the old wizard knew. And as Draco finished his story, clinging onto the bed sheets to keep the tears away, the old man's eyes were suddenly much more comforting.

"Mr. Malfoy, I guarantee you that we will do the best we can to keep you and your father apart." Then he took the boy's hand, as though he were about to guide the boy through a maze. "The first step will be ensuring that your father remain in Azkaban for a long time. But remember, your story isn't finished as of yet, and we not yet know how it shall end."

"I'd do anything... will do anything... to know my ending is."

"Life is all a series of stories, which begin and end. Though the beginning of one story may center itself in another. This story has only begun, as has many others you have now started." Dumbledore stood, releasing the boy's hand. "And I believe Harry is a large part of that now. I'm sure he will guide you well."

Draco nodded. "I bet... I don't... I don't know what to do now. All my life I've just followed the path set out for me by my father. He showed me the darkness, and led me through it. He knew the way. But with him gone I can't see where to go next."

"Don't be afraid of the dark, Draco. Everyone treads that path, and some never return. But the dark is not inherently bad, nor is light inherently good. It is the people who tread there and make a show of themselves that ruins it for the rest of us. All you need is a guiding light, and I think that you have already found."

Then the old wizard left, leaving Draco to think of these things more. He curled up, wrapping his tail around the base of his feet, whispering into the cold darkness. "I don't understand."

~~~

Draco looked out one of the windows that night, trying to think of where to go from there. Because of where he'd been going, he was always very logic bound. However, everything he'd done so far was a long throw from logical. Like shagging Potter out in the field? came the cold voice of his father. He shuddered. If nothing else, he did not want to be thinking of his father and Harry at the same time. It just went beyond wrong.

This was something Draco had never experienced before: His life was in his own hands, and he had to depend on others to keep it that way. For a Malfoy, this was deeply embarrassing. And yet, there was also something about it that warmed him. The fact that there were people willing to help, and weren't forcing him along. He wasn't being led, he was being guided. And this was extremely new.

But there were strong chances that Voldemort would still have his way. And Draco knew it would be easy for him to be used against Harry. Definitely the last thing he wanted. He had two choices once more: Rejoin the Dark Lord, and his life would be insured; Stay with Harry and try and protect him. They were the two choices between his heart and mind, but his heart kept crying out against him, and he knew there was no way to rejoin Voldemort.

However, the alternative was to fight with Harry, something he surely didn't want to do either. But it came down to Voldemort and Harry, who were fighting each other. But Harry doesn't want to destroy Voldemort, he's just trying to live. And that's what made the difference, right? He shook his head. It didn't matter. One had to die, and he didn't want it to be Harry. That's what decided it. He decided in that moment that he had to find a way to destroy Voldemort, even if it meant his life. Because he couldn't live without Harry.

The week passed quickly, though with the occasional sneer or attack from a Slytherin visitor. He heard Pansy was being kept in another room, which he assumed was at the back of the ward. River, a Ravenclaw that came through often, would always glare at him as she passed by on her way there. He recognized her as the girl Harry had taken to Yule Ball. It seemed the two girls had become quick friends.

He could remember when Pansy had first seen that green envelope fall in front of her, the black ribbon running across it. She held onto the envelope, never opening it. Dumbledore had announced those who had fallen, so she knew what the envelope said, but she couldn't bear to look at it. He always thought he'd be the first to get one. One with silver parchment inside telling him his father had been executed, but no such luck. Instead it had been her, yet he refused to budge. He was the leader of Slytherin House, and to show sympathy would have been disgraceful.

He remembered that that was when he'd first realized he'd softened. The lack of his father's beatings, watching Harry as he got more violent and self-destructive, and his feeling of being lost had all softened him. He knew because he'd wanted to hold her. That moment, he wanted nothing more than to comfort her. The second time when he was sure of it was when he'd threatened her in the hall. Told her he'd kill her if she didn't go to the ball with him just so that he could see Harry, hoping to talk to him. And he'd returned to his room feeling pained because he'd done it. He actually hadn't wanted to.

He was waiting for River to come back out, ask her how Pansy was doing, when Longbottom walked up to the bed and handed him a small silver packet. He raised a brow then looked up at the boy. "What's this?"

"Some new treat that's very popular with the others right now," he said, eating some of the yellowish powder out of his own packet. "It's some chicken flavored powder. Add it to hot water and you've got broth, use it on your food for flavor... stuff like that. But a lot of us just eat it straight."

Draco looked down at the packet, grimacing. "Chicken flavored... powder? That sounds a little odd."

Longbottom shrugged. "We have chicken flavored jelly beans, among other flavors... Why not powder?"

Draco opened his and looked inside at the powder then decided to give it a try. Surprisingly, he liked it. He ate a little more before looking back at the boy. "Er, well... Thanks, I guess."

He shrugged. "You're welcome, Draco."

There was a moment of silence as Draco contemplated being called his given name by the other boy. It was strange, the way the name sounded coming from one of the boys he'd tormented for years. But there was also a feeling of being forgiven there, like he had another chance. It was then he realized one of the things Dumbledore was talking about : His guiding light wasn't just Harry, but the others who were willing to help him.

He smiled and nodded. "So, Neville," the word sounded strange coming from him, but it was already becoming natural, "how're the others doing?" He reached for his tail then remembered it had disappeared a few days ago. He had to admit he missed it.

"Not bad." Neville finished off the packet and tossed the empty thing away. "Harry keeps complaining about you being stuck here. Also says he misses your tail."

Draco smirked, glad to see he wasn't the only one who missed it. "Guess I'll just have to talk to those Weasel twins, huh? Sure they'll be glad to give me one."

Neville frowned. "That's Weasley."

Draco shook his head. "No, those two are definitely weasels. Out of all of them, I'd definitely say those two."

The boy couldn't hide the smile and finally turned to leave. "I'd better get to class. Hope you get out soon."

Draco nodded and waved Neville away, then turned to the silver packet. "I could get used to those," he said before dipping his finger in and licking the power off of it.

He was actually caught that way when River left the room, leaving her in a blinking stare. He quickly got the rest of the powder off and set the packet aside. "Er, something a Gryffindor gave me. How is she?"

River came off the shock and shook her head. "She's doing alright. The other two as well." She narrowed her eyes. "Why would you care? You threatened her with an unforgivable."

Draco shrugged. "I wouldn't have used it." He caught the look on her face then sighed. "Fine, she didn't know that, but I couldn't find anyone else to go with and I didn't want to show up without a date."

"Why couldn't you just not go?"

"Because I had to see him"

River considered a moment. "That's right, when you showed up, you were concerned about Harry. You never said why, though. You just took off after scolding me for leaving him alone."

He nodded. "Harry's been suicidal," he said, raising a sleeve. It exposed the dark mark carved there, but he didn't care. "He had scars of all kinds running along here. Lots of them really fresh. I wanted to watch over him, but I couldn't act too suspicious. But when I found out he was wandering the castle alone..."

"You thought he'd try again."

He nodded once more.

She watched him a moment. "Alright, then. And was he where you thought he'd be?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

He was taken aback. "Why was he up there?"

She nodded.

"He was waiting for me."

"And he knew you'd come."

"Yeah."

There was a comfortable silence as both of them thought about it, then: "Why would he commit suicide?"

He considered lying. He considered telling her about Harry losing his godfather to the Death Eaters. But the truth was there, and he knew she'd find it anyway. "Because I had been horrible to him." He looked down at the bed sheets, remembering that past time, before they finally confronted one another. "I'd saved him, but I couldn't let myself get near him. I was going soft, and I blamed it on him. I was watching out for my own skin. And when I couldn't stand it anymore, he was doing it to me. It was driving us both mad, but I was afraid..."

"That he was weaker." Draco looked up as River walked toward him. "I think Harry's stronger than that. Maybe he did need to be saved once, Malfoy, but once he has a reason to live, he'll do it. And you gave him that reason. Twice now, as I understand it."

He blinked. "Twice?"

Nod. "Yup. Think about it. The first time, he only kept going because he had to know one thing: How you felt about him. Why you saved him. He was only living for that answer."

"And now?"

"And now, he's living for everyone again. But only because you showed him how. Even if it was by ignoring him. Because then, you forced him to turn to his friends. I may have only really met him at Yule Ball, but everyone knows him, and a lot of us would watch him. And we all saw how he came back after the hospital."

"I see."

Somewhere by the window a bird fluttered by. The other kids were playing, laughing, studying...and there was Quidditch practice going on as well.

"Why watch him?" Draco said, finally. "Why care about someone just because he's famous?"

River shook her head. "It's not that. But everyone knows that Dumbledore is counting on him to defeat Voldemort. He was the savior of the wizarding world, and will be again. But if he's out of it..."

"We're all doomed."

She nodded. "Anyway, I have studying to do." She started walking out then turned back. "And Draco... Maybe you should go see Pansy."

He nodded. "I will."

He looked out the window at the Quidditch practice going on there. Harry was hanging upside-down on his broom in boredom, watching the snitch flitter back and forth. He chuckled. Show off.

~~~

It was another week before Lucius Malfoy's trial, and Draco was there. He told everything he could, this time his hatred and anger towards his father chasing the tears away. He would not show weakness. And it was there that Draco's father was sentenced to death. Draco returned to Hogwarts, emotions conflicting. Harry was there to greet him, hold him, and comfort him, but somehow he just couldn't care. He had sentenced his own father to death. He could feel himself slipping back into darkness, with no way to go. He couldn't see ahead, and he was drowning. What does it all mean? What else will I have to do?