Explanation

Amidst screams of 'You stole him!' Draco's mind turned itself off, and he was blank. Twenty years ago, Harry had every right to be shout at him the way he did - Draco had broken off their relationship and decided to love Harry's godfather, Sirius instead. Much later, there were late night goodbyes, tears and Apparition to somewhere far away.

***

Sitting in a Queen Anne chair, lighting up a cigar he would never put to his lips, Draco crossed his legs, sipped at the cognac and finally turned to face Harry.

"It was never a case of love with you, Harry. I clung to the strongest life raft I could in that war. I switched to the winning side by joining the Order soon after we had left Hogwarts. You were what I wanted, however, until I met Sirius. My tastes were changing; I wanted to be with a man, someone who would look after me. You could not give me that. I admit, I am selfish - I swapped sides to save my own skin, and turned to Sirius to satisfy my lust - or so I thought at the time. It was only when he went, I realised he was taking care of me."

The speech was long. Draco swallowed and licked his lips. He nodded at Harry, prompting him to speak. He finally took a look at Harry for the first time properly at that moment when previously, he had kept his eye on the picture behind Harry on the same level as his head Draco also noticed that there was no longer surprised hurt in his face. Well, he guessed that... no one could hold a grudge for that long. Harry looked at Draco, and asked softly, 'were you ever happy with him?'

"Yes. Once we had moved away from all those things that were obstructing us being together, we led a very nice life together. He had the family money, and I had money from various inheritances, and we had little jobs, just the odd handyman thing (with magic) for the little old lady down the road. He wanted for nothing. It was a nice life in Spain... if things had been better between you and I... you should have come to see us. I know that he missed you very much. The fireplace and the odd week or two with you was never enough for him... he loved you like a son. He hated it, but he didn't see a way how the three of us could be happy together."

"Yeah, I know. We never talked about what he did to me, so I never got to find out why you two did what you did. I was too busy trying to defeat Voldemort, and when I turned round, you were gone. That hurt. I wondered how you could betray me like that. I was sad, but I want to fill the gaps what I missed."

"Do you want to hear it?"

"If I could, yes."

"It's hard for me, Harry. We spent a long time together. Moving back to England makes me forget how much it hurts. It's so easy to detach yourself if you don't talk about it."

"We both know you have feelings."

"But I don't want to display them to you... it feels so awkward. What we had was just a teenage relationship. At the time it was serious, because there were new feelings and virginity all involved. It was so fresh and exciting. All I was doing with you was sitting round until you could fight. Now it's just so insignificant. Once I was with Sirius, I knew what that real love thing was about."

"I want to know about the things like when you realised feelings and stuff. It doesn't hurt so much anymore, but I still want to know."

Draco smiled. "I can tell you about that sort of thing. We felt really guilty at the time because of you, but it was wonderful when we did get it together. I really felt emotions with him, not all distant like I had taught to be all my life."

"You mean you ran away to escape the guilt."

"He told me that his friends had taught him that. You had taught me about emotions. I was learning to understand consequences hurt others, and that hurt me."

"I only grew up knowing despair and anger. Never love."

"Maybe it's why you wanted it so much."

The two men looked at each other. Harry's sense of betrayal was lessened and curiosity was overtaking.

"So how did the two of you get together?" Harry asked. He shifted in his seat a little, and looked down, as though he was wishing he never asked it.

Draco squirmed. "A similar way to how you and I did. Bloody Gryffindors... they have to learn to trust you." Draco looked at Harry and saw a small smile curl up on the one side of his mouth.

"Well, not exactly how we got together, there was no Hogwarts involved, no rivalry. No Quidditch," Harry grinned.

"Well, what happened was that you and I would go to the house soon after I joined the Order. We would be working out our plans in the house, I could have told you things about my father and what he had to do with... Voldemort. I was being very spiteful at that time, and to swap sides angered him so much, but I was starting to see who was going to win... I mean, you nearly killed... him when you were a baby - what could you do as an adult? My father couldn't understand it. He thought that his side would see the both of us through comfortably. And then you and I were going out, and you were spending a lot of time with Sirius, which meant I was doing too, since nobody else would trust me or spend time with me apart from you - I was so lonely. Sirius tolerated me when you and I were together, but alone he ignored me. He was so fun to be with and just nice that I wanted him to like me. After a few weeks of that, I waited until we were alone and I had it out with him. I told him that I was with you and I wanted him to like me... or at least be civil when we were alone. I told him no matter what my parents had done to him, or what I had done to you in the past, you had seen fit to forgive me... and that he should give me the chance too. I only did it to make it seem like I was serious about joining the Order. My heart was in neither the order nor the Death Eaters. But everyone had to take sides."

"You begged him to like you and take you seriously? A bit desperate," Harry snickered. Draco looked at him, and they laughed.

"I was such a little arsewipe," he said. "But it worked. Sirius felt really guilty about not giving me a chance, and we started to become friendlier. When we spent time together and we got to know each other, you let down your guard and you see them for the good things they can do... and for fear of sounding all lyrical, see beauty in them. It wasn't until the last few weeks of our relationship that I kissed him. He was really shocked, but he kissed back. He was lonely and needed some of that physical closeness. I didn't mean to kiss him, but he started to become important to me, and I wanted to express that. We were both shocked, but we realised we liked it and we wanted to do it more. I had thought that you and I didn't have a future because I was so tired and bored with just sitting there and waiting for the war to be over. I thought that it would be OK to dump you and have fun with Sirius for a few months until I worked out what I wanted. Instead I hurt you, and spent the rest of Sirius's life with him. We only stayed with you a few months after we became a couple, because Sirius could see how he was hurting you. You said you wanted us to be together, but we knew it hurt you, so we moved away."

"Well, I know the next bit. Sirius came to see me all the time, but he left you behind. He never let me go and see him in case I ran into you... he was considerate like that. What sort of stuff did you do in Spain?"

Draco smiled. The small upturn of his lips soon expanded and turned into a grin. His mouth widened, and started to show teeth. Draco was now beaming at Harry. "It was amazing. I never thought that my life would turn out like this. I always knew I wanted to love a boy, and breaking away from being a 'proper' Malfoy meant that I could. Sirius and I lived a life that we never thought we would ever lead. We were in a hot and sunny country, we had a nice house with a swimming pool, and we had many friends and we would entertain most nights. Before Sirius... got... ill, we would go out clubbing or to nice restaurants. We had money, and opportunities to do things like the eating out. We could travel the world and go scuba diving at the Great Barrier Reef, we visited the Grand Canyon, we clubbed at Falaraki and Ibiza. We did things like rock climbing and white water rafting. When Sirius got sick, that all stopped, and we were content to sit by the our piscina (swimming pool, Harry you idiot!) and we read lots and bred magical cacti, we also had a few little pets that kept us more than occupied, the little sods! I lead a fuller life than I thought I ever would. The mission with Sirius and I was to explore everything and have fun. He told me before he went that he wanted me to carry on living like that," Draco said, his shoulders slumping. "Is there anything else you wanted to know? You know most of the rest from when he got sick. He insisted on coming back to you. He couldn't ever regret being with me, just that he wasn't there for you."

"But I always knew he was there for me once I came round and accepted that you were gone. I loved you, but you weren't the right kind of love that I needed. When I found that, not long after, I learned I needed to forgive. I knew your reasons for joining the Order were selfish, but I thought it was because you loved me Listening to you, it just affirmed that you were happy together." Harry spoke sincerely, he felt more perked up than he had in days since he heard the news that his Godfather died. He had died happy.

Draco stood up to add a tone of finality. Harry took the message and stood to leave. "Thank You Harry for coming alone and letting me talk. I needed it; I think you did as well. He affected us in different ways, but vastly. I hope we can carry on and live our lives as he would have wanted. I know it sounds sappy, but I appreciate so much what we had...."

"I know Draco, you've grown up... finally, that's all."

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

They left each other to their lonely lives.