Rebel Rebel

"James Potter!" a familiar, feminine voice shrieked. "I can't believe you! My new skirt!"

Lily Evans came charging up the stairs to the sixth year boys' dormitory and threw open the door, startling Remus Lupin out of his studying. Sirius Black, on the other hand, had been carefully avoiding doing any such studying, and had been eagerly listening to the shouting that had erupted below them in the Gryffindor common room one minute ago. Lily's red hair was streaming behind her like a cloud of fire, and her flushed cheeks and flashing eyes gave her a strikingly beautiful, albeit furious, appearance.

"'S wrong, Lily?" Remus asked soothingly, raising himself to a sitting position on his bed. He closed his History of Magic textbook and waited for her tirade, which immediately came.

"Everything!" she cried. "James is such a...a...ooh!"

"Prat? Git? Wanker?" Sirius suggested quickly.

"All of the above!" Lily seethed. "And he's so bloody dense! Sometimes I think he doesn't even remember that I'm his girlfriend, you know? Like I'm just some fifth bloody Marauder, and he can treat me like one of you boys..."

"Er...what exactly happened, Lily?" Remus inquired, brushing slightly-too-long, tawny-brown bangs out of his eyes.

"He - oh, I'm almost too embarrassed to talk about it! He's so - argh!"

"For Merlin's sake, Lily, get on with it," Sirius sighed, earning a glare from Lily and an impatient look from Remus. Sirius shrugged and sat on the bed next to Remus, perusing the other boy's History of Magic essay in hopes of figuring out what he was going to write on his own assignment. Perhaps Binns wouldn't notice if Sirius copied Remus's essay word-for-word...

"Well," Lily began, sitting on the edge of the bed across from Remus, which happened to belong to Peter. "Today's our ten-month anniversary, and he said he had plans, so I thought I'd do whatever he'd thought up. Y'know - I thought it would be something romantic. No. The...the..."

"Wanker," Sirius supplied again, not looking up from the essay.

"Yes, the wanker! The wanker wanted to go play bloody Quidditch! So I think it's a little unromantic, but I go with him anyway, and I end up falling in the mud and tearing my new skirt. Oh, I'm so mad!" she finished breathlessly, standing again and pacing. "I hate him!"

"No, you don't, Lily," Remus sighed.

"Sure you do!" Sirius insisted, a mockingly serious note to his voice. "And you're one of the few who do, besides Snape and all. That was a really unromantic thing of him to do, so maybe you should hate him. You'd be a rebel for doing it."

"Rebel...yes, that's me!" Lily agreed, growing excited. "I'm a rebel. I hate James Potter, the unromantic wanker. I've got better things to do than tear my skirt on the Quidditch pitch..."

"Now, Lily, really, I don't think you hate him... You're just upset, that's all--" Remus began, very logically, but was interrupted by Sirius jumping to his feet upon the bed and ripping out chords on an imaginary guitar.

"Rebel Rebel, You tore your dress, Rebel Rebel, Your face is a mess..." he sang, in a surprisingly on-key imitation of one of his many idols, David Bowie.

"Sirius! Honestly!" Remus cried, as he flopped around on the bed, trying to stay away from Sirius's bouncy feet. Lily, meanwhile, seemed oblivious, ranting to herself about James the Unromantic Wanker as she paced the floor of the boys' dormitory.

"Rebel Rebel, How could they know?" Sirius crooned, taking another whack at his guitar.

"Sto-op, ple-ase!" the smaller boy yelled, then grunted as he was bounced off of his bed and onto the floor. He landed on his backside with a resounding thud just as the door flew open a second time and Sirius hit the final line of the chorus.

"Hot Tramp, I love you so!" Sirius shrieked, pointing at Lily, as James watched from the doorway.

"Hot Tramp?!" James repeated, growing upset. "Sirius Black, your boyfriend is in this room! And that's my hot tramp you're talking about, so shut up!"

"Not any more, you wanker," Lily responded quickly and matter-of-factly. "I'm a rebel, because I hate you." And she swiftly passed by him, exiting through the door to presumably retreat to the girls' dormitory, where there was actually a chance that its inhabitants were sane.

"Wanker? Rebel? Hate me? But - what...?" James spluttered, confused. Then, seeming to put the pieces together, he turned and pointed an accusing finger as Sirius. "You!" he shouted. "This is all your fault! You and your damned, glitter-fied David Bowie glam rock music junk hot tramp Lily hates me grumble snarl..." His voice trailed off as he left the room, intending to win back his tempestuous love. Neither boy was much disturbed - James and Lily had these nonsensical fights quite often, and they inevitably ended in some unfortunate first year interrupting a late-night snogging session on the common room couch.

Sirius stood on the bed, silent, watching his best friend's retreat; Remus remained lying on the floor. After a moment's silence had passed, Sirius looked down coolly at Remus. "I shouldn't have sung 'Rebel Rebel,' should I?"

"No," Remus muttered, attempting to right himself, "I'd say that 'Rebel Rebel' was a bit of a poor choice."

Shrugging, Sirius flipped his long black hair out of his face, the imaginary guitar forgotten. "Oh, well. David usually helps the situation...dunno why it didn't work this time..." He jumped from Remus's bed to his own, and winked at the poster of the pop singer that adorned the wall nearest him.

Remus, sighing again, finally sat up and began to search for his scattered homework. "You know, if I didn't love you..."

"You'd have to be with Peter," Sirius put in. "And then where would you be? Hopelessly squicked, that's where."

Finally, Remus had to laugh. "You're hopeless, that's what!"

"Absolutely," Sirius agreed, and jumped back onto Remus's bed to crouch like a playful puppy, which put him at exactly the proper height to kiss his boyfriend. After a brief meeting of lips, Sirius pulled back and smiled.

"You know, from this angle..." the black-haired boy began, then stopped. He turned and glanced at his poster, then looked back at Remus. "I'd say you'd look bloody hot in glitter eye makeup."

"Oh, no. Remus doesn't wear makeup," Remus responded quickly, pulling back. "I'm not brave enough."

"Oh, c'mon," Sirius begged. "Be a rebel. Do something different. Be wild!"

"I am wild. I'm a Marauder." He reached for his homework again, attempting to put the papers back in order. He looked at the shoe print on the page of his History of Magic book, and sighed fondly.

"But - well - c'mon, you'd look really hot, and that's a good thing, y'know?" Sirius raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Please? For Paddy?"

"If you're so wild about glitter eye makeup, why don't you wear it?" Remus responded.

"Because I want to see you in it."

"No. Absolutely not."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Plleeeeeeeaaaaasssseeeeee?"

"I think I said 'No,' Sirius."

"I'll sing you a song..."

"That's supposed to encourage me to wear this nonsense?"

"That's it! I'll make you wear it!" With this battle cry, Sirius jumped from the bed to the floor, tackling his boyfriend with all of his strength and cunning. After a tussle between their beds, which ended with Remus escaping Sirius's clutches and making a breathless attempt to get to the door, Sirius began to employ his dirtier tricks - which included an intimate knowledge of all of Remus Lupin's many tickly spots.

Sirius lept and grabbed Remus by the waist, slipping hands beneath his shirt and running warm fingers across his abdomen. Remus, unable to resist this attack, burst into giggles and fell to the floor, taking Sirius with him. The black-haired boy took advantage of his greater size to pin Remus to the floor, then grabbed the nearest available wand and shouted, "Accio Glitter!"

A small pot of sparkly eye shadow flew into Sirius's hands, and Remus sighed, going limp. "Fine. You win, you fiendish brute," he said, pretending to be offended.

"That's right," Sirius said, grinning wickedly, and proceeded to ravage Remus's eyelids with a glitter-smeared fingertip. After long moments of intense concentration, during which Remus enjoyed the view of his boyfriend's handsome face above him, deep in thought, Sirius announced, "Finished. Take a look."

Freed from Sirius's weight, Remus stood and brushed himself off, then turned to look in the mirror. Surprisingly, he found he had to admit that Sirius was right - he did look sexy in glitter. The flip of his slightly-too-long bangs, the blush-like tint to his cheeks, the curves of his lips all suddenly came together in a startling portrait with the eye shadow Sirius had applied. Faint bluish-purple color was smeared across his eyelids, giving an Egyptian cat-eyed effect, and sparkles of glitter graced the lids like diamonds in the evening sky. As he blinked, the glitter showered down upon his cheekbones; his eyelashes were so long and fine...

Sirius walked up behind him, placing Quidditch-muscled arms around his boyfriend. "Told you you'd look sexy in glitter," he breathed, his warm mouth next to Remus's ear.

"I bet you would too," Remus murmured, watching the way Sirius's hands traced patterns across his belly, and feeling the familiar sensations begin to arise within him again.

"No, no...the point is for you to wear it. I said that already. Besides, now you're wild," Sirius said, his voice dropping to a low, whispery pitch. "You're a rebel, Remus. And a bloody sexy one at that."

"Am I your Hot Tramp?" the tawny-haired boy laughed, and covered Sirius's hands with his own, bringing one up to his mouth to kiss it. Glitter fell onto the hand as well, making Sirius sparkly now as well. 'Gorgeous hand,' Remus thought, kissing it again.

"Hot Tramp, I love you so..." Sirius half-sang, half-whispered, and turned Remus to kiss him properly. After a moment, however, it turned into a very improper event indeed.

~~~~~~~

That night, at dinner, James and Lily had made up (and presumably made out as well). Lily had remembered a Charm to mend her skirt, and James had promised to be more romantic in the future, provided that no one ever call him the Unromantic Wanker again. Holding hands and giggling, they made a fair sight in the hall that evening.

"So, are you over your Bowie-hatred yet, James?" Sirius teasingly asked.

"Sure, David Bowie's great. Everyone's great," James replied, never taking his eyes off of Lily as she batted her eyelashes at him.

"Especially Lily," Remus put in, winking at Sirius.

"Right," James agreed, glancing over at his friends. He did a quick double-take, however, upon seeing Sirius.

"Something wrong, James?" Remus asked, unconsciously touching a hand to the eyelid he had scrubbed clean of its glitter.

"No, it's just..." He seemed momentarily confused, then asked hesitantly, "Sirius? Are you wearing glitter eye makeup?"