Beauty Mark

Beauty Mark by Rufus Wainwright

I never had it, I never wanted it
I never had your beauty mark

Nor did I have your black hair and hazel eyes
My early childhood was not as simple as yours set in the country
No I did not have a fears of nuns who dressed in black

But I do have your tastes

I had no radio show, nor did I have
Home-made clothes, home-made curtains
Of the same material

I never had it, I never wanted it, I never had your Beauty Mark
But I do have your tastes
And I do have your red face and long hands

I think Callas sang a lovely "Norma"
You prefer Robson on "Deep River"
I may not be so manly, but still I know you love me
Even if I don't have your beauty mark
Beauty Mark

It was upon their return from Remus's childhood home that both boys finally began to breathe again. "That was...tense," Remus muttered, leaning back against the train seat. "I'm really sorry. I just - I wanted you to meet them--"

"Don't be sorry, love, I'm glad I met your family." Sirius settled himself beside Remus, linking his left arm with Remus's right. "Your mum is perfectly marvelous. It's just your brother...he's a little..."

"Homophobic?" Remus suggested bluntly.

"I was thinking suspicious, but--"

"Blatantly homophobic, then," the tawny-haired boy said decisively.

Sirius sighed and leaned against his boyfriend, nuzzling his neck in a very Padfoot sort of way. "Listen, they don't know about us. Your brother just doesn't like me, for some reason."

"Janus is always suspicious." Remus returned the embrace slowly, wrapping his arms around Sirius and holding him, drawing comfort from the lean, tanned form and silky black hair. "Of everyone and everything. Has been ever since dad--" He stopped abruptly for a moment, then continued softly, "That's why he's such a good Auror, you know? I just...I don't know why he didn't like you..."

"Me neither," Sirius sighed. They were silent for a moment, holding each other and feeling the train roll across the tracks beneath them, leading them back to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters; then Sirius spoke up again, saying, "But listen, love, your mum liked me, you love me, so who cares what your bloody brother thinks? I mean, we acted perfectly straight, and if he's still suspicious, that's his problem, right?"

Remus finally cracked a smile. "And you abstained from wearing makeup this weekend, too. Just for me."

"That's right, and I feel bloody naked."

"Oh, do you?"

"Right." Sirius glanced up and smiled, and Remus held his breath, waiting for the punchline. "So, if I'm naked, maybe you could take advantage of the situation..."

"But you're not naked," Remus pointed out.

"No, but I did suffer a whole weekend without makeup, and I look like...like..."

"Like Sirius Black." Remus smiled down at him, grinning. "You, in glitter eye makeup or not, look like my Sirius Black. With your perfect hair," - he stroked Sirius's precious locks - "and your beauty mark," - he touched his index finger to the freckle next to Sirius's right eye.

"Beauty mark..." Sirius echoed, tilting his head to kiss Remus's finger. Remus curved his hand and cupped Sirius's cheek within it, pressing his palm to the smooth skin. "You're beautiful, Remus."

"Oh, no, not like you," Remus mused, and Sirius recognized with delight that his boyfriend was in a poetic mood. "I don't have your black hair, black like a moonless night...nor do I have your silver eyes. Precious silver..."

As Sirius tried not to drool at the sound of his lover's poetic words, Remus pressed his soft lips to Sirius's forehead; then, with a grin, he kissed the beauty mark near Sirius's long eyelashes. Then he took their entwined hands and raised them, pressing a kiss to Sirius's long fingers, sending tiny shivers through the black-haired boy's body.

"You're beautiful, Sirius...do you know that? You are. It must be something you were born with..."

"You were born with the same thing, Remus," Sirius murmured, entranced. "You're even more beautiful. You--"

"My early childhood was not as simple as yours," Remus corrected him lightly. "You were born in the beautiful countryside, to a beautiful family...and now you're beautiful. You're very well marked with beauty," he decided, touching the much-debated freckle.

After a moment of open-mouthed staring, a moment of sheer brilliance. "I'll give you a beauty mark, love," Sirius announced happily, planting a swift kiss on Remus's cheek and jumping up. Hastily rummaging through his bag, he quickly withdrew his precious makeup pencils. "C'mere."

"Sirius, what are you going to do?" Remus asked, half-wary, half-amused.

"I'm giving you a beauty mark. Hold still." And Sirius pounced upon him, holding him still and sitting on his lap, facing him with a wide grin.

"Sirius - your taste in makeup--"

"I do have your taste."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Just hold still," Sirius said again, and set to work. Remus found that he rather enjoyed having the eyeliner applied to his closed eyes - he could smell Sirius's familiar scent, could feel the warm body pressed against his, and couldn't see him; he could feel the cool tip of the pencil pressing lightly against his eyes. "Almost done..." Sirius murmured, leaving off of his eyes and pressing a quick dot to a spot high on his left cheekbone. "There. You have a beauty mark, love."

"I what?"

"Oooh, look in just a sec. Let me do my eyes first." Sirius turned around and held up a small mirror, skillfully applying the eyeliner to his own eyes as well, smudging it slightly around the corners of his eyes. Remus couldn't help but admire the skill involved in applying such delicate makeup with such ease on a moving train.

"Here, look," Sirius instructed, pressing the mirror into Remus's hand. Holding the small square up, Remus looked at his eyes and found himself to be oddly pleased. Sirius's artistic hand had lent his eyes a smoky, darkened gaze, making him look...mysterious. He had just begun to experiment with makeup on his own, but Sirius's experience lent his work a decidedly gorgeous quality. And just below his left eye, high on his cheekbone, was a small black dot. His own beauty mark.

"It's perfect, Siri," he murmured, smiling shyly at his boyfriend.

"Just like mine," Sirius replied, touching his finger lightly to Remus's new feature.

"Yes." Then, glancing at Sirius's, he amended, "Almost."

"Almost? What do you mean, almost?"

"Well...mine's on the left. Yours is on the right."

"Oh." Sirius's face fell; he appeared suddenly so disappointed.

"Don't be upset, love!" Remus exclaimed, taking Sirius's hands in his face. "It's perfect. You're perfect. And I adore you for it - for making me a beauty mark, for being so beautiful...and so talented with makeup, might I add..."

Sirius laughed, "You make me sound like a girl, Remus."

"Sorry."

They stopped and looked into each other's eyes for a moment, mirroring each other's reflections; their dark, smudged eyes, their mismatched beauty marks, their shy, pleased smiles. Sirius whispered, "Ah, well - I may not be so manly, but still I know you love me."

"Even if I don't have your beauty mark."

"You're beautiful anyway, love. You're always beautiful to me." And pulling Remus onto his lap, Sirius kissed him sweetly. "Whatever's beautiful about me, it's all summed up in you. You're my beauty mark."

"I love you too, love."