Insomnia

"We'd all gone out for dinner - Harry, Ginny, Ron and I - at this great little restaurant in Fantastic Alley. We were celebrating - well, we weren't really celebrating anything. Just, y'know, being young. James was at home with a babysitter, and we were pretending that we weren't Aurors, that there wasn't a war on, and that we lived relatively normal lives. It was so much easier once Dumbledore stationed us back home. You know what I mean? In Germany, it was all fighting and death and mortal peril ever which way we looked, but at home, things were peaceful. It was just like going to work as normal. At the end of the day, we'd sit at home, drinking coffee. That's not the sort of thing you do when you're fighting a war. And eventually, we let our guards down.

Anyway, it had been Ginny's idea to go out - I think three months of looking after little James had made her desperate for some time away. It took us all days to convince Harry that it'd be okay.

Just as we were leaving, we got the owl. And we Apparated right to their house. God, you have no idea what it was like. Seeing the Dark Mark over their house - that horrible green smoke up against the cold, clear night - for a minute, I was scared that somehow Harry and Ginny were in there, dead and unmarked, even though they were right beside me. Ginny had dropped to her knees, and Harry ran inside, even though all the Aurors and ministry people were standing around telling everyone to be calm. How could we be calm? And Harry walked out, cradling James to him, and somebody stupid, some idiotic girl still in the academy shrieked "Look, the baby's alright!" and Ginny looked so goddamn hopeful, and then Harry, who was always strong, just fell to the ground, sobbing and holding that tiny bundle to his chest, screaming like he was under the Cruciatus, and Ginny blacked out."

Hermione paused in her monologue, sipping her drink and staring blindly at the middle distance. Draco watched as she took a breath, and then continued her trance-like soliloquy.

"Sirius went into shock when he got there. I don't think he could handle it, not again. And that was almost impossible to deal with, seeing this man who'd been my teacher and commander, as well as my friend, totally lose it. He just sat next to Harry, crying with him and holding him, until Dumbledore went and sat with them too. And all that time, Ginny had been with Ron and I. I remember thinking how very strange it was, that Harry and Ginny hadn't been comforting each other.

Percy arrived, looking about as wooden in his grief as I'd ever seen him, and he picked Ginny up bodily, and took her, and a team of Aurors to the Burrow. She and Harry didn't even say anything to each other. It was like they'd just... forgotten that the other existed.

Ron walked up to Harry to comfort him, or something, and Harry just looked at him with the deadest eyes I'd ever seen. He rose, and spoke to Dumbledore in this dark monotone, asking for instructions. It was like he was under a spell.

And soon, Dumbledore had a plan. It turned out that Voldemort had been watching the house for months. They'd found some horrible little mook who'd set up shop in the woods at the back of their house, and Dumbledore gave him Veritaserum. We all knew he was there on purpose, and that Voldemort had let him know everything he wanted us to know. I don't think it mattered to anyone by that point. The Dark Lord was in England again. He'd killed the golden son of the golden son. It was like he'd already won, just by wiping out that one little life. And so it was decided that we should go after him that night, before the news spread, before the mass hysteria set in.

Dumbledore, looking older and sadder than I'd ever seen him, called together the Order of the Phoenix. You were the only one missing. We found out why, of course, the next day." She squeezed his hand, and he nodded for her to go on. His story would come later.

"He was holed up in a warehouse in the centre of London. We got our assignments, and our briefing, and our pairings. Dumbledore put me with Ron. And I think that's when it hit me that this was real, and that I'd lose someone I loved tonight."

Her voice was breaking, and her face wet with tears, but she went on.

"And just as we were about to Apparate, Ron took me aside. He told me that he loved me, that he'd always loved me. And he pulled out the wedding ring from his pocket, and told me that he liked to keep it with him to remind him that he was going to be with me forever. And he put it on my finger -" she covered her mouth to stifle a sob " And looked at me, smiling, and he told me that we were married now, and that he would love me forever, no matter what happened. The he held me so tight, and I couldn't think, and couldn't breathe, and the whole world, just for that moment, was him and me, and I thought I would crack from the sheer agony and ecstasy of being in his arms."

"And then we Apparated."