Insomnia

Chapter 13. - Running to Stand Still

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we're going

Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Singing ha, ah la la la de day
Ah da da da de day
Ah la la de day

Sweet the sin
Bitter taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out

You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice

You know I took the poison
From the poison stream
Then I floated out of here
Singing...ha la la la de day
Ha la la la de day
Ha la la de day

She runs through the streets
With her eyes painted red
Under black belly of cloud in the rain
In through a doorway she brings me
White gold and pearls stolen from the sea
She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes
She will...

Suffer the needle chill
She's running to stand...

Still.

Ginny was already waiting at their usual table at Muggles when Hermione pushed the solid wooded doors open. Engrossed in the book in front of her, the redheaded girl didn't notice her entrance, and Hermione took the opportunity to take a good look at her friend. She'd lost a lot of weight, recently. Far too much. And the once-vibrant hair was pulled sharply off her face, played down, with barely a hint of the cloud of gold that Harry had once loved to sink his face into. Lines on her face, too. Shouldn't happen to a 26-year-old woman. Still, you could see the beautiful former Hogwarts Head Girl in there, somewhere, hidden behind the pale skin and expression of indescribable anguish. Hermione pulled a chair up, and Ginny looked up from her book, smiling to see her friend.

"Hermione! Hello."

"Hello, Ginny. Sorry I'm late."

Ginny waved off the apology. "Don't worry about it. Hey, I ordered you a coffee, it should be here soon."

Muggles was one of the trendiest cafes in all of Wizarding London. The reason for its fame was partly because of its prime location in Diagon Alley, right between Ollivander's and Madame Malkin's, and partly because it was one of the few wizard cafes that served Muggle food. Muggle-born wizards and witches went there because it was familiar, and the purebloods went there because it seemed frightfully exotic. Besides, the coffee was to die for.

Hermione settled herself into the luxurious red leather armchair and gazed at her friend appraisingly.

"So, Gin, how have things been?"

Ginny smiled wearily. "The twins are working on their new range - they've been trying them out on Neville all week." Both she and Hermione laughed.

"Poor Neville. Someone as unfortunate and gullible as him never should have gotten a job working at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes."

"Well, it doesn't seem to worry him too much.' A bored-looking young witch bought their coffees over, and Ginny smiled and took a sip, savouring the perfect balance between the coffee and milk. Hermione used her spoon to delicately scoop off some of the foam from the top, and put it in her mouth.

The two women silently enjoyed their drinks for a minute, until Ginny looked at Hermione intently.

"You look excited about something. Have you had a breakthrough with the Dark Arts Millstone?"

Hermione snorted. "No, quite the contrary, actually. Massive writer's block." She took another sip, and looked Ginny directly in the eye. "I ran into Draco Malfoy the other night."

Ginny perked up considerably. "Really? How is he?" she blushed. "Is he still as cute as ever?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Really, Ginny. One snog at a Yule Ball when you're fifteen, and he's got you stalking him forever."

Ginny's blush deepened. "Shut up." Her eyes narrowed speculatively. "Anyway, you're the one having liaisons with him."

"I am NOT - " Hermione steadied her voice, realising that her friend was just winding her up. "I'm not having liaisons with Draco Malfoy." She smirked. "I'm having dinner with him tomorrow night."

Ginny gasped. "Hermione Granger, woman of the night!"

Hermione giggled, and then sobered up.

"Look, Gins, we're just having dinner. I'm not interested in him or anything. We're just old friends."

Now it was Ginny's turn to snort. "What, you think I'm jealous? My god, Hermione, what do you take me for?" Realisation dawned. "Oh. You're talking about Ron."

The change in the atmosphere was palpable. Ginny sighed, and reached over to clasp Hermione's hands in hers. "Mowninny," - Hermione smiled at Percy's daughter Annabelle's nickname for her - "I know you loved Ron. And we both wish things hadn't turned out like they did."

Hermione nodded. "I know. I just feel like - it's betraying Ron. Not that I'm, you know, interested in Draco like that, but." she bit her lip, "He understood. We talked all night. And he has problems, too. But I just think that if Ron was here, he be shocked that I was becoming friends with Draco." She looked up at her friend, searching for understanding.

Ginny shook her head fondly. "You know how much I love Ron. But he could be a stubborn bugger at times."

Both girls laughed, each remembering occasions where Ron had indeed been a stubborn bugger.

Ginny continued, grinning at her old friend. "Ron wouldn't have wanted you to be so sad. He'd have hated that. And if spending time with Draco is cheering you up, then you have my blessing."

Relieved, Hermione reached over and hugged her friend. "Thanks, Gin. So, now I've got your approval, my mother's, Dumbledore's, really, now all I need is Minerva's and Harry's."

Ginny pulled back, frozen, and Hermione mentally flagellated herself. He Who Must Not Be Named, indeed.

"Shit, Ginny, I'm really sorry."

Ginny shook her head, and forced a smile onto her face. "I'm a real idiot, aren't I? Lecturing you about moving on."

Hermione squeezed her hand. "No. I shouldn't have mentioned him."

"Why not? He's your friend. And I'm a big girl, I should be able to cope." Ginny was looking at her with an expression of fierce determination. "How is he, anyway?"

Hermione watched her friend's face cautiously, searching for a trap, as well as an answer. Honesty is the best policy.

She sighed. "He's a wreck, Ginny. Just like the rest of us."

Ginny nodded, biting her lip. Hermione went on.

"He's working harder than anyone I've ever seen. Sometimes he does sixteen hour days." She paused. "To tell you the truth, I'm very worried about him."

Ginny looked at her in anguish. "Oh, Hermione - poor Harry. I had no idea."

Hermione looked at her in disbelief. Of course not. Neither of them had been able to talk to each other since James had been killed. Unable to comfort each other over the loss of their child, they'd drifted further and further apart. They'd been separated for two years now.

But both of them still wore their wedding rings.

Feeling guilty, Hermione looked down at her own hand, where the engagement ring sparkled, overshadowing the plain gold band that Ron had spontaneously slipped on her finger on that fateful evening, just before the final battle.

Ginny was staring at her resolutely. "Hermione - what do you think he'd do if I called him?"

"I don't know, Gin. But I think you should try."

Ginny smiled, looking suddenly much younger. "I think I will. You know, it feels like a good time for fresh beginnings, don't you think?"

Hermione shrugged. "I wouldn't know. You know what I think of Divination, don't you?"

Ginny grinned cheekily. "You just never understood it, that was your problem."