Scattered

Hermione yawned three times before Ron glanced in her direction, tearing his eyes away from the telly.

"Are you tired?" he asked dubiously. "This whaddyacallit, this program is hysterical. We've--"

"We've been watching television for hours, Ron," she said tiredly. "Hours. All afternoon, and then I had to actually remind you it was time to eat dinner. I'd just gotten over the shock when you dragged me back in here to watch more."

He remained baffled by her lack of interest. "There's so much to watch! I figure it'll take days to see it all."

"They put more new programs on every day."

"They do?!"

She yawned again and stood. "I'm going to bed."

Ron was staring at the television again. He'd asked about the strange box in the sitting room earlier, and she'd explained about Muggle television. Since then, he and Neville had been glued to the set. Even Bill was engrossed in the current program, which was some kind of situation comedy, as far as she could tell.

"Good night, everyone," she said.

"Good night, Hermione," Bill said with a smile. Neville waved.

Ron reached for his drink. "See you in the..."

For a moment, the noise of canned laughter coming from the television was the only sound in the room. Neville looked at both of them, his face scarlet, and then turned away. Bill coughed and continued to stare at the television screen, but somehow, she got the impression he wasn't following the story anymore.

Nervously, she met Ron's eyes. The tips of his ears were bright red and he had a sort of panicked look on his face. She gave him a small smile and he took a deep breath.

"Good night," she said again softly, and went upstairs.

She changed in the loo, feeling awkward about it but too self-conscious that Ron might come bursting into the room after her. Or he could be up watching that bloody television for hours yet, she thought. Or maybe he'd have rethought the whole room-sharing... who was she kidding, bed-sharing... thing by now.

Ron wasn't there when she stepped out of the loo and hung her clothes up carefully, setting some aside for washing. He wasn't there when she climbed into bed, or when she turned onto her side, sleepy but restless, desperately wanting a book to read or something that would distract her mind from turning, turning... The lights were out and she finally felt exhaustion overtake her, a vague feeling of disappointment in her heart, too many thoughts in her mind to process, and a heavy feeling that wouldn't go away.

It seemed like only moments later and she was abruptly awake again; it couldn't be morning already.

"Sorry. Sorry!" Ron whispered.

She felt disoriented, sure she'd just closed her eyes. "Ron? Why are you--"

"I'm sorry I woke you," he whispered again. "I just can't see a thing and I -- oomph," he said, and the bed jostled. "Bloody hell, ow, damn it that hurts."

"What on earth are you doing?"

"I stubbed my toe. Oh, that really hurts," he said, crouching on the edge of the bed with his back to her.

She sat up and reached for him. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He turned and she felt him go suddenly still beneath her hand. His face was close to hers and her knee was pressed against his thigh; she was leaning into him slightly, unbalanced and drowsy, but at the look on his face her pulse began to beat faster, her heart thudding a bit in her chest.

"It's just my toe," he said softly. "You know how bloody big my feet are. I'm always knocking into something."

"Don't swear," she said absentmindedly, in the same voice.

The moment held between them, and Ron's hand slid over to her knee. She quickly looked away.

"How late is it?" she asked, moving back to her pillow.

"It's past midnight," he said. "Neville and Bill both fell asleep. We were watching--"

She rolled her eyes. "You've been watching television all this time? Good lord. Well, we're not wasting all of tomorrow the same way."

Ron gave her a thoughtful look. "What are we going to do tomorrow?"

"I don't know, but not that."

"Okay, okay. But... "

Hermione covered a yawn, and then took a good look at Ron's worried face. "You mean, what are we going to do from now on, right?"

He nodded.

She sighed and rolled onto her back, staring unseeing at the ceiling. "I guess I still don't know. Bill talked about giving us lessons -- don't look like that," she admonished with a smile. "It'll pass the time."

"I'd rather leave the house," Ron said in a frustrated tone. "Just once, at least. I can't say I got a good look around on the way here. I feel like I'm nowhere."

"Nowhere?" she asked.

"Or anywhere, I guess. I just, I don't have anywhere else...you know, anywhere else to be anymore," he said quietly. "Except here, and I don't even know what's down the street. I knew every corner of the castle, every shop in Hogsmeade. Every tree at the Burrow, who all the neighbors were, everything. Here I don't know anything."

"I know," she whispered.

"I just want to establish a couple of, I don't know, landmarks, or something."

He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, turned slightly towards her. She noticed for the first time that he had on a t-shirt and his pajama bottoms; he was fiddling with the blanket, leaning on one arm.

"Are you tired?" she asked finally.

He looked at her and nodded.

"Me too," she said. "Let's... let's get some sleep."

She pulled back the blanket and the sheet on his side of the bed. He was watching her face; she met his gaze for a second and then glanced away. Last night it had been so easy, she thought.

He climbed into bed, pulling only the sheet up and leaving the blanket bunched around his feet, tucking one arm underneath his pillow and laying on his side, facing her.

"Aren't you going to get cold?" she asked.

"No." He shifted slightly and his leg brushed against hers. "I'm always warm."

They were quiet for a few moments, the only sound the very faint noise of cars occasionally going by outside. Hermione felt herself relax and start to slip back to sleep.

"Don't worry about what I said," Ron said suddenly. "I shouldn't complain about anything. I'm fine."

She turned on her side to look at him. "That wasn't complaining, Ron. You're just... you're allowed to feel this way."

He frowned. "I feel fine. I'm just tired, that's all. I just shouldn't dump it on you."

"Of course you're tired," she said exasperatedly. "But... it's okay to not be fine, Ron. And you're not dumping anything on me. Unless that's what I'm doing when I tell you what's bothering me?"

"No," he said quickly. "No."

She smiled. "Then, stop trying to be a big tough guy about everything."

"I am a big tough guy, thank you very much," he said with a slight smirk. "No 'trying' necessary."

"Of course you are," she agreed.

They were both smiling now, and Ron reached over and brushed her hair back behind her ear. His fingers trailed slowly along her cheek, his eyes never leaving hers.

"You know I'd be a total mess without you," he said.

"Yes, I do."

* * * * *

Hermione found herself reluctantly agreeing with Ron and Neville. "Bill, I really think they're right. We need to leave the house."

Ron grinned. "See? Even Hermione thinks so, that means it can't possibly be reckless."

She frowned a little, not sure that she was altogether comfortable with being deemed incapable of reckless behavior. Though, she had to admit, in these kinds of matters, she was the cautious one, that was for sure.

Bill grinned. "Well, if Hermione says it's okay, what are we waiting for?"

"Exactly!" Ron said, letting out a whoop and reaching out to clap Neville on the back. "Finally! Let's go."

"Ron, I don't think Bill was being serious," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

Ron looked so crestfallen that Bill relented. "Not exactly but... yes, we're going to go out today."

"Excellent. Now works for me."

Bill shook his head. "There's one thing, though, little brother. How are you all at glamours and spells for disguise?"

"They're generally considered N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration, but I've learned a few," Hermione said. Ron looked surprised. "What? They're rather interesting. I thought we might find them useful sometime, you know. Considering. Everything we seem to end up involved in... with Harry. You never know."

"That was smart thinking," Bill said. "Aurors learn them for just that reason, just in case."

She laughed. "Constant vigilance?"

"Exactly."

Ron frowned. "I've never understood the whole deal with glamour spells. I mean, if you know how to cast a spell and make yourself great-looking, why not do it every day?"

There was an abrupt moment of silence. Then Neville coughed, loudly, and moved away from Ron to sit on the sofa, as if removing himself to a safe distance. Bill had a strange expression on his face as he stared at his youngest brother, a mixture of surprise and concern, as if he was just learning that Ron had less brain capacity than a dung beetle.

"What?" Ron said, looking at each of them in turn.

"It is a wonder how some of us walk around without bags over our heads, isn't it," Hermione heard herself say bitterly. "Especially when we could fix the situation with a simple spell."

"Huh? What are you -- wait a second--"

"No, no, really, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking, I'll get right on it. Neville, what do you think, which is more attractive, blonde or perhaps a dark brunette? I really want to be a stunner, so I'm going to need some input on this. Blue eyes? Green? And as far as body measurements go--"

"Stop it, that's not--"

She scoffed. "Don't be silly, I'm just asking for an empirical opinion so I can get it right. Great-looking, I think you said."

"Hermione--"

"I think -- I think you're great-looking just the way you are," Neville said hesitantly.

Hermione stopped abruptly and stared at Neville. "That's... oh, Neville, thank you. You don't have to say that."

He shrugged, clearly embarrassed. "Well, it's true."

She didn't know what to say. Ron's unthinking words had stung, even though her more rational angels were telling her that he hadn't meant them personally, that he was still just a boy sometimes, and boys don't think about how something's going to sound to an oversensitive girl who's been spending too much time wondering if she should start wearing slightly more attractive pajamas to bed. On the other hand, sometimes she just wished he didn't have to stop and think about something like that... that he would think about her more... that way.

And then Neville had to go and be so nice. She felt embarrassed at having made herself the center of attention.

"It's very sweet of you to say it, though," she said finally. "Especially when I'm being ridiculous."

"Hermione--"

Bill cut Ron off abruptly. "You're never ridiculous, Hermione. And Neville's right. Now, leaving that all aside, to answer your question, Ron, you're misunderstanding the nature of the spell."

Hermione glanced at Ron. He was glaring at Bill; he turned and gave her an imploring, frustrated look. She ignored him.

"They're called 'glamour' spells, but they're not really about making anyone more glamorous, more handsome or more beautiful, even assuming they needed help in that department. Glamour spells change aspects of your appearance, sometimes very drastically. Your skin color, for example. Your eyes. The color of your hair. The end result might be more aesthetically pleasing, but it also might not. Appeal isn't the point. And sometimes an unattractive disguise is more useful."

"So they're really just used for disguise, then?" Neville asked.

"To be fair, some people do sometimes use them for purely aesthetic reasons, from time to time," Bill admitted. "The old, wealthy crowd, for example, I'd see them coming into Gringotts, all done up, and then you just wait for it -- because there are certain high-security places, such as Gringotts, the Ministry and yes, Hogwarts, where there are Glamour-Nullifying Spells in place all the time. When you're guarding a place that heavily, you don't want to make it possible for someone to slip by in disguise. So they show up with their carefully-crafted glamour spells, walk in the front door, and it's gone, and it's generally not a pretty picture underneath. Even worse, since some establishments and private homes don't advertise their security measures... well, imagine the embarrassment in a social situation."

"That's why they're not used popularly," Hermione said. "Though Parvati and Lavender never gave up trying."

Neville laughed a little. "They didn't really need them either, though."

She smiled back. No, even she had to admit that her former roommates had nothing to worry about in the beauty department.

"So, are we going to learn some glamour spells, then? I mean, me and Ron, since Hermione already knows them," Neville added. "As a just-in-case kind of thing?"

"Yes and no," Bill said. "Just in case for you, Neville. But Ron needs to learn one before we go anywhere."

Ron spoke finally, sounding mutinous. "Why?"

"Because, Ronniekins, you and I stand out a bit too much," Bill replied. Ron looked confused. "Yes, I know, there's nothing that can be done about our manly physique. And I'm not suggested we try to camouflage our rugged good looks into something less appealing."

Neville laughed. So did Hermione. Ron looked even more surly.

"It's the hair," Bill explained. "Our hair. Too noticeable."

"We're hardly the only two redheads in all of Britain," Ron said dubiously. "I can't see how it'd matter."

Bill looked a bit exasperated. "Lucky for us all, I'm a bit less pigheaded because I *do* see how it matters." He took a deep breath and continued. "Of course we're not the only two redheads in the country. On the other hand, it's the simplest way in the world to identify a member of the Weasley family. On the one in a million chance that some Voldemort-sympathizer or wandering Death Eater crosses our path, I don't want us to be spotted and caught because they recognized our bloody hair."

"I guess," Ron said reluctantly.

"I don't know how to get it through your head that you have to change your mindset from peacetime to wartime, from freedom to being on the run. We don't have the luxury of anything else," Bill reminded him.

Hermione looked away. She wished Bill wouldn't lecture Ron in front of everyone; she knew him, and she knew that right now he was fuming and furious and embarrassed at receiving a 'lesson' in front of his friends. In front of her. Truth be told, she agreed with Bill, but not at the price of Ron's pride.

"Fine. Teach me the spell."

Bill suggested they go outside to practice; the sitting room felt too cramped for spells. Hermione suspected he was also trying to give Ron some breathing room and so she readily agreed to pair off with Neville while Bill worked with Ron. Bill had Neville cast the Excludo spell around the yard and they spread out into opposite corners.

Neville still had trouble with new spells, though; his first few attempts at a glamour had no effect, and then he succeeded only in turning his hair a sad sickly green.

"That's totally what I was going for," Neville said with a mischievous grin. "Really! I'm clearly quite good at this."

Hermione laughed. It was good to see Neville so much more relaxed with himself. "You're not fooling me," she told me. "But it's good that you've got a sense of humor about it."

He shrugged. "Well, I figure, you have to laugh at yourself sometimes. If you don't, you'll just make yourself miserable." He paused, concentrated, and said, "Maybe another shade of green."

Hermione watched as his hair turned a bright, punkish, neon green.

"Bright green?" he asked. She nodded. "Now that time really was on purpose."

Bill called from across the yard. "Neville, it's a great look on you, but I'm glad we're not worried about trying to make you blend in."

They laughed. Hermione turned and saw that Ron had apparently mastered the spell as well, as he and Bill both now had dark brown hair, rather like Neville's generally was, nondescript and unnoticeable. It was a bit unnerving for her, though. She knew she shouldn't stare, especially not right now, but she couldn't help gaping at Ron slightly. He looked strange, different, unfamiliar. She didn't really like it.

"What?" he asked roughly.

She tried to smile. "Nothing. I'm impressed, that's all, you did a great job."

Ron mumbled something inaudibly and wouldn't look at her.

"That's it, then," Bill said. "Let's just get ready and go -- we can go out for lunch, for a start. Grab your things and meet downstairs in a few minutes. And make sure to bring your keys, in case we get separated."

Ron turned and went into the house without another word. Neville shrugged sheepishly and followed him at a short distance, leaving Bill and Hermione trailing behind. She sighed, wishing there was a way to start the day over from scratch.

"Don't be too hard on him," Bill said quietly as they walked toward the house together.

She gave him a wary glance. "I thought you were working on that 'less nosy' policy we agreed on."

"I consider it more of a guideline than a policy, really," Bill said philosophically.

She scowled. "Well, regardless, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not being 'hard' on him. He's the one who was thoughtless," she added defensively.

Bill nodded in agreement. "He was. But, he's a boy. They're all thoughtless."

Hermione scowled in irritation. "I hate that excuse, and that's exactly what it is, an excuse. It sounds like an insult to say all boys are thoughtless, but really, it's just a way of absolving them for their poor behavior. Well, I don't buy into that."

"I'm not absolving anyone of anything," Bill said. "It really was thoughtless. And I hope you know that Neville and I are both telling you the truth when we say you have nothing to feel insecure about."

She stopped at the back door, crossing her arms and feeling annoyed. "This isn't about me being insecure. It's about Ron being... rude. And not thinking about..."

"About you and how you feel and even for a moment making it sound as if he doesn't think you're gorgeous, because even though you know deep down he didn't mean to say any such thing, you still wish he would care more about being more careful not to hurt your feelings. And I'm saying, I don't blame you for feeling any of that but -- don't be too hard on him. He's still learning."

Hermione let out a frustrated sigh. "Do you have to be so insightful just now? I was enjoying feeling indignant."

Bill laughed and held the door open for her. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have reason to again soon enough, if I know my brother."

She shook her head ruefully and went upstairs to get her bag. Ron was sitting on the bed, hunched over. He stood when she came in the room, his face unreadable.

"Don't forget your keys," she said, crossing past him to the dresser and rummaging through the top drawer for her own.

She found them after a brief search and slipped them into her bag, shutting the drawer. As she turned to leave, she felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind, not pulling her to him so much as anchoring his body to where she was. She felt his lips on her hair and his heart beating against her and she sighed, covering his hands with her own, closing her eyes and leaning into him.

"It's different when we argue now," he said in a hoarse voice. "It never seemed to matter before but now... I can't stand it if you're mad at me. I think I can stand everything else, but... not that...Hermione..."

"It's okay," she told him in a soft whisper, the words she knew he needed to hear. He was right. She couldn't stand it either. "Don't worry. We're okay."