The Waning Gibbous

The day after the waning moon was pure hell for Harry. His mind had been split into bits- one moment, he would be concentrating on what Hagrid was saying in his Care of Magical Creatures class, and the next, he would be back in Remus' office; back in Remus' embrace. Concentration was next to impossible during Divination. While he and Ron were reading runes, Professor Trelawney sauntered by, the beads glittering and jingling on her shawl as she swayed behind them. Sighing mistily, she read their casting and pronounced that his new relationship would start out struggling, but it would be long lasting and rewarding. Harry started and looked at the small stone tablets before realizing that the runes she had read were Ron's, who ducked his head and blushed when Harry looked at him.

After class, Harry had left the castle and wandered aimlessly, wanting, needing to see Remus, but not quite daring to go to his office. He walked around outside, watching the people cavorting around the lake. The weather was unseasonably warm and so there were several sunbathers and people horsing around on the sandy shore. Harry sat apart from the others, and tossed pebbles into the placid water until the giant squid rose to the rippled surface and shook a curled tentacle at him.

"Sorry," Harry said, and dropped the remaining pebbles back onto the sand. The squid submerged again, and Harry walked along the water's edge back to the castle.

He slowly worked his way to the Library to begin his essay on runes for Divination class, wondering why in the world he signed up Trelawney's divination class instead of Firenze's. He was glad, though, that Ron had also signed up for Professor Trelawney's class. Seating himself at one of the large tables, ignoring Peeves, who was busily throwing books at first years, Harry began to leaf through "Rune Reading for the Mundane". His mind was not on predictions, though. Ten minutes later, he found that he was still on the first page, and his parchment was still blank. Slamming the book shut, drawing a stern look from Madame Pince, he rose and left the library.

Harry was exhausted. Slowly walking back to Griffindor Tower, he reasoned that Ron and Hermione would be wondering where he was. As Harry climbed through the portrait hole, he saw them sitting in the large armchairs by the fireplace in the common room.

They didn't notice him, and as Harry approached them from behind, he could hear their conversation.

"I don't know, Hermione. He seems to be under a bit of strain right now. You saw how he looked in Hagrid's class! I think that telling him would... I dunno... be a blow to him, or something."

"Well we have to tell him sometime. He doesn't walk around blindfolded with his fingers stuffed in his ears, Ron! It's best if Harry hears it from us, and the sooner, the better," Hermione said exasperatedly.

"Hear what from you?" Harry asked as he sat down on the sofa beside them.

"Harry! We've been looking for you! We were worried about you," Hermione said quickly.

"Hear what from you?" Harry asked, not distracted in the least.

It was a few moments before Hermione very quietly said, "Harry, you have to understand that, well, we don't want to upset you..." she trailed off. Ron was busy scrutinizing his shoes. Harry's eyes narrowed, and Hermione rushed on as if she hadn't stopped. "Ron and I have been seeing each other... romantically... Do you understand?" Ron was biting his lip now, and Hermione had been reduced to fidgeting nervously with the doily on the arm of the armchair.

Harry's mind reeled. Closing his eyes, he struggled up from the sofa and walked quickly back to the Fat Lady's portrait. He didn't say anything, and Ron and Hermione didn't, either. Hurrying from Gryffindor Tower, Harry did not slow down until he reached an empty classroom. He went to the corner farthest from the door and sat there quietly, holding his knees to his chest, trying desperately to wrap his mind around this situation. Jumbled, confused thoughts and emotions bounced around in his head.

Will anyone find out? Ron and Hermione are together. Why can't I be normal? Is this right or wrong? Was it real or was it only a reaction? An impulse? Why are Ron and Hermione together? How could they do this to me? They don't know what they are doing to me. Why is Remus doing this to me? Why am I doing this to him? Is he in as much doubt as I am? Is it real? Is it really real?

When Harry looked up after several long moments of introspection, he realized that he was sitting in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Stifling a sob, Harry frantically got to his feet. In an outburst of anger, Harry seized one of the empty creature tanks and threw it at the wall. Glass shattered and rained down to the floor. Rubbing his face, Harry calmed down and pulled out his wand. Repairing the tank and the wall, he sighed and decided that he really needed to talk with Remus.

As he was leaving the classroom, Mrs. Norris poked her flat face around the corner and peered at him.

"Get out of here," Harry said, raising his wand, but his threat was hollow. Mrs. Norris hurried away and Harry made his way to the corridor where Lupin's office was.

"We need to talk," Harry said softly as Remus opened his door.

Running a hand through his graying hair, Remus nodded. "Yes. I know," he said as he opened his office door wider to let Harry in. He resisted the urge to look out into the hallway to make sure Harry hadn't been followed, and closed the door quietly.

Harry stood facing Remus' desk, his back turned on the sofa and easy chair where he had sat last night. Moving behind the desk, Remus distractedly wondered if Harry's positioning was intentional as he studied Harry's face.

"Harry, I-" Remus hesitated. Was he going to apologize? Say that he didn't know what was going on? Confess certain feelings?

"What was that?" Harry was still looking at the desk. "What happened last night?" Clearly, he was upset. Remus could see the tears on his face, and hear them in his voice.

"I don't know," Remus laughed nervously, a habit he had desperately, yet unsuccessfully, tried to rid himself of.

Harry finally looked over at him and words tumbled out of Remus' mouth. "I don't know what happened! Do you think that I have any better idea than you about what happened? I'm just as lost as you are. I don't know what you think; hell, I don't know what I think! I can't answer your question because I have too damn many of my own!" Remus halted and sat down heavily on the easy chair. Running a hand through his hair again, he stared up at the window of the moon in his ceiling.

Harry moved over to the sofa resignedly. Sitting down with a sigh, he leaned back and stared at the moon with Remus. After a few silent moments, he softly inquired, "Is this right?" When Remus met his eyes, he asked, "Is it wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Was it an impulse? A reaction?"

"I don't know."

"I-" Harry paused, his voice trailing off. "I really like you, Remus. I don't know what this is, or what's going to happen, but I thought you should know that I don't think that last night was just a reaction on my part. I just... I thought you should know that... I like you..." Harry trailed off again.

"Thank-you, Harry." Remus gazed up at the moon, but after a few minutes, he fixed his eyes on Harry again. "I like you, too. And I don't know what's going to happen, either." He stretched out a hand, which Harry took immediately. "We have some decisions to make. We need to keep our heads about this. You're still my student, and I still have certain...responsibilities; are we going to be able to handle all of... this?"

Harry opened his mouth, but shut it with a snap, suddenly unsure of what to say. After several moments of soul-searching, he nodded. "I think we'll be able to handle it. But..." he stopped.

"What is it?"

"What happens if someone finds out? What will happen?" Harry asked quietly.

"I don't know. I'm not about to run around the halls telling everyone, though." Remus said, surprising Harry into a laugh.

"Neither will I," he said.

Staring up at the moon again, Harry smiled.