Phoenix and Fascination

Chapter 2: A Growing Fascination

The next day, a Saturday, Tonks joined Arthur Weasley at his home--the Burrow--to help with the move. She wore blond hair in short curly pig-tails for the occasion, as well as some old blue jeans and a Weird Sisters t-shirt (she loved the Weird Sisters).

Arthur let her in when she arrived, and she walked into a scene of complete chaos in the kitchen. Two tall red-haired twins were having a mock sword-fight with what appeared to be rubber chickens, another red-haired lad was carrying a tall stack of dishes that looked ready to tumble at any moment, and two girls, one with sleek red hair and one with bushy brown hair, stood at the sink scrubbing more dishes and chatting loudly. A frazzled looking middle-aged woman, also with red hair, was carrying a basket of laundry and loudly berating the twins for playing instead of helping.

"Quiet down everyone!" Arthur called over the din. "Tonks has just arrived to help us out. Tonks, this is my wife, Molly."

She gave Tonks a bright smile, and said, "Thank you so much, dear, for coming to help. As you can see, this lot is impossible without a great deal of supervision."

Arthur continued the introductions, pointing out all of his children, as well as their guest, the brown-haired girl named Hermione. "Ron and Hermione here are particular friends of Harry Potter. He'll likely be joining us as well, once things are more squared away at headquarters."

"Where are your other boys?" Tonks asked hopefully--she'd been looking forward to a little time with Bill today.

One of the twins--she wasn't sure which, called, "Bill's up in London helping Fleur move into her flat."

"Fleur?" asked Tonks.

Ginny answered, "His girlfriend."

Tonks blinked in astonishment--she hadn't counted on this.

The other twin spoke up. "The cradle robbing git--she's barely older than us! And you know he's not after her for the conversation--she can hardly speak English!"

Arthur looked at Tonks apologetically, and explained, "Fleur was the Beauxbatons competitor in the Tri-Wizard tournament. She and Bill met at one of the tournament events, and they've gotten rather attached to each other. She just secured a position with Gringott's in London, so Bill will be helping her move into her new flat this morning, and he'll join us later this evening at headquarters."

Tonks nodded sheepishly--this day really wasn't starting the way she wanted. Bill was dating a French girl at least seven years younger than him! Tonks wasn't even sure she was still interested in him after this. She'd never thought very highly of older wizards chasing around younger witches. Then she blushed a bit, remembering how much she had enjoyed flirting with Remus the night before.

She was brought back to the scene at hand when one of the twins spoke up again. "And Percy's not here because he's a first class moron, who worships the ground Fudge walks on!"

Molly Weasley burst into tears, and rushed out of the room. Tonks noticed that Arthur looked unusually pale and angry. He spoke in a sharp, tense voice. "I thought we agreed not to mention him in front of your Mother?" The boys nodded, but looked unconvinced. Arthur turned to Tonks, still tense, and said, "Percy and I had a bit of a falling-out yesterday, and he moved himself to London. He won't be rejoining us anytime in the foreseeable future." He left it at that, and Tonks chose not to pry.

They spent the morning packing bags and boxes full of clothes and books and cleaning supplies. After Tonks shattered a few dishes, Molly politely asked her to join the girls upstairs to help pack the clothes. Tonks didn't mind much--she found that she quite liked the two girls. Ginny in particular reminded her of herself at that age. And from Hermione, she was able to learn more about Harry Potter, the boy around whom so much revolved.

As she worked with the girls and listened to their stories about their lives at Hogwarts, and their adventures with Harry Potter, she became slightly envious. She'd had plenty of chums at school, but none that would have risked their lives for her. She could tell that the bonds of friendship and love that these kids felt for each other were stronger than anything she had ever felt for anyone beside her parents. But Tonks was determined not to let the regret show on her face, so she started doing silly nose tricks instead--that was always good for a laugh.

Later that evening, after several awkward package-laden trips back and forth through the floo network, all of the Weasley's and their possessions arrived safely at 12 Grimmauld Place. They managed to agitate the painting of Mrs. Black on their way up the stairs, and they climbed up to their rooms accompanied by the echoes of her curses. After helping the Weasleys get their trunks into their rooms, Tonks was rather relieved to let the newcomers get themselves settled in while she escaped to the basement with Sirius and Remus.

"Ta," she said as Remus handed her a bottle of beer. "I really need this after today." She took a long swig, then sighed and put her feet up on the table.

"Come on," said Sirius. "The Weasleys can't be that bad, can they?"

Tonks shook her head. "Oh, no. They're not bad. They're a fine family. They're just... There's just so many of them--and the three oldest weren't even there! It's a wonder Molly still has her sanity. It doesn't seem there's ever a quiet moment with the Weasley family around. I was an only child, myself," she added by way of explanation to Remus.

He smiled. "So was I. But when you're around families like the Weasleys, don't you ever feel you may have missed out on something?"

She shrugged. "Maybe, a bit. But I guess I'm just so used to being alone now, I'm not sure how I would cope with having to share everything with someone else."

Remus gave her an intense look. "There's such a thing as being too much alone. There are days I'd far rather be surrounded by a lively crowd of family, even if it meant having a few rows, and making a few sacrifices."

"You might be right. Life can get a little lonely sometimes, without family around," she answered. "What about your parents?"

"They both passed away a number of years ago," he said. "It's all right," he added, seeing her concerned expression. "It doesn't bother me to talk about it. My father was very ill, and in pain. I'm sure he's happier wherever he is now. And my mother couldn't bear to live without him. She passed away in her sleep two days after he died."

"I'm so sorry," said Tonks, unsure how to respond.

Remus smiled warmly. "Don't worry, Tonks. I'm fine."

They all took a few more sips of their beer, and then Sirius spoke up. "There's some considerable downsides to family as well, you know. You've all met my lovely mother," he said, raising his bottle in a mock toast to the ceiling. "And my father and brother were nothing to boast about either. And you and I share some rather unfortunate relatives, don't we Tonks?"

Tonks smiled wryly. "The LeStranges and the Malfoys come to mind."

Sirius smiled back. "At least the LeStranges had the good taste not to reproduce."

Tonks laughed. "I wish the Malfoys had the same good taste. The last thing this world needed was another little Malfoy." She and Sirius both laughed, but Remus just shook his head.

"You don't agree with us, old friend?" asked Sirius.

"Draco's not a bad boy. A bit misguided perhaps, but that's hardly his own fault. If he ever manages to break away from his father's influence, he might turn out all right," said Remus.

"You've met my cousin, then?" said Tonks.

Remus nodded. "I was his teacher, at Hogwarts."

"You teach at Hogwarts?" she asked in surprise.

"Taught. Just one year--year before last."

"What subject?" she asked, with a suspicion growing in her mind.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," he answered.

"Well of course!" she exclaimed. "Everyone knows that job is jinxed--no one holds it for long. I think I went through six different teachers myself when I was at Hogwarts."

"Us too." Said Sirius with a laugh.

"There you have it. Jinxed," she said. "So what was it that did you in?"

Remus smiled, but looked a bit uncomfortable. He exchanged a look with Sirius, before answering. "I resigned. I was having some ... problems with my health that necessitated my giving up the job."

"That's a shame," she said, noticing Sirius giving him a sharp glance. "So have they been taken care of now?" she couldn't help asking. "Your health problems, I mean."

Again, Remus glanced at Sirius before answering. "More or less. I'm afraid the problem is chronic, but I have it under control right now."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Still, it's a shame you had to give up the post. I'm sure you were an excellent teacher," she said with a grin.

"I did my best," he said, and Tonks was glad to see the melancholy lifting from his face.

"Oh, you know you were the best!" broke in Sirius. "I've heard Molly going on and on about how you were her kids' favorite teacher ever--'the best in the school' she said."

Remus blushed. "Well, her children are a bit prone to exaggeration. But I certainly enjoyed the job. It was one of my favorites."

"If you taught Draco, then you must have taught Harry Potter as well!" exclaimed Tonks, intensely curious.

"Indeed I did," Remus answered.

"He thinks rather highly of you too, Remus. He mentioned you were his favorite teacher," said Sirius.

"Did he?" asked Remus, smiling.

"So do you know Harry Potter as well?" she asked Sirius.

"Of course!" said Sirius. "He's my godson, after all!"

"Really?" said Tonks. "I didn't know that. You must have been close to his parents."

Sirius nodded. "James and Remus and I were the best of friends, from the moment we were all sorted into Gryffindor, our first day at Hogwarts. Lily didn't become part of the gang until later, but she was every bit as dear to us. Harry's all we have left of them. Of course Remus has actually spent more time with him than I have--lucky git."

Remus smiled. "Well, you couldn't very well teach at Hogwarts while you were the Ministry's most wanted fugitive, now could you?"

"So what's he like? Harry, I mean," asked Tonks.

"He's a fairly normal teenage boy," said Remus. "He loves to spend time with his friends, and does fairly well in school; he's one of the best Quidditch Seekers I've seen in years, and he gets into far more trouble than he ought--something he inherited from his father. And he's also incredibly brave, and passionate, and curious. He reminded me so much of his father."

Sirius nodded. "There are times, when I look at him, that I think I'm looking at James come back to life. Until I notice the scar."

Remus nodded slowly. Tonks noticed a flicker of pain dancing across his face. She hadn't realized just how much these two men had lost fourteen years ago. Voldemort's first downfall had been a cause for celebration for most of the wizarding world, but for these men it must have been a time of extreme sorrow. They had both lost all of their best friends in one day, and one of them had lost his freedom as well. Yet in some ways, Remus looked more worn and beaten by the years than Sirius did. She wondered what in the world had happened to him for the past fourteen years.

Before Tonks could ask him more, they were interrupted by the arrival of Bill Weasley.

"Hello, have one of those for me?" he said, indicating the beers.

Sirius jumped up to get him one, and Bill joined them at the table.

"So how's that girl of yours?" asked Sirius, handing Bill his beer.

"She's well. All settled in her flat."

"So is it true she's part veela?" Tonks asked, remembering something one of the twins had mentioned.

Bill nodded. "On her mother's side--her maternal grandmother was veela actually."

"Lucky bloke," said Sirius. "If I wasn't stuck in this house, I might try to steal her away from you."

"You're old enough to be her father!" said Bill.

"Ah, but I'm not her father. And in the end, that's all that really matters, isn't it?" he responded.

They continued to talk about Bill's girlfriend for some time, and, as she watched Remus smile and laugh, Tonks decided she didn't care at all if Bill was dating someone. Let her have him. Tonks was past her Weasley infatuation once and for all.

Tonks was too busy at work for the next few days to visit Grimmauld Place again until the next meeting of the Order. To her surprise, Remus had received a new assignment--to visit the Continent, and spread the word of Voldemort's return. And, much to her disappointment, she wasn't able to catch a word with him until everyone was getting ready to leave.

She noticed him heading for the door, and stopped him. "So, Dumbledore's decided to send you as his envoy to the wizarding communities in France and Spain," she said, remarking on the new assignment. "That's quite an honor."

He shook his head. "I don't think so. I'm just the most convenient--that's all. Everyone else has regular employment tying them down. I'm the only one who can flit off to the Continent on a moment's notice." He gave her one of his most charming smiles, and she felt her face grow warm.

"You're just being modest, Remus," she said. "Dumbledore thinks the world of you. He relies on you to keep the rest of us in line. You're his number one man in the Order."

Remus laughed. "I hardly think that."

"You don't have to," she said with a grin, "the rest of us think it for you."

Remus just shook his head, and blushed. He looked much younger when he blushed.

"So how long do you expect to be gone?"

"Seven or eight days. Not too long," he replied.

"We'll all miss you while you're gone," she said boldly.

"I'll miss you too, Nymphadora," he said with a grin that sent chills of excitement up and down her spine.

"Will you still be staying here at Grimmauld Place, when you get back? Or is it getting too crowded for you?"

"I like the crowd--remember?" he said. "I do have a place in Cornwall. A house my parents left me. But now that I have a house full of friends to stay with, it seems awfully lonely in comparison."

Tonks, feeling bold, said, "Well, if you ever get tired of being overrun by Weasleys, and need a place to stay in London, I've got an extra room in my flat. You're welcome whenever you like."

She wasn't quite sure what response she was hoping for, but he certainly didn't seem as enthusiastic as she would've liked. "That's very kind of you, Nymphadora," was his reply. "I'll let you know." With that, he bid her goodnight, and headed out the door. She sighed, feeling that once again, her foot was stuck firmly in her mouth. What had she been thinking?

The next week seemed like the longest of her life. She still dropped by Grimmauld Place nearly every day to visit with Sirius and the Weasleys, with whom she was becoming very friendly, but the place seemed empty without Remus.

She tried to fill her time by increasing her scrutiny of the Malfoys. She was already keeping tabs on all of Lucius Malfoy's appointments and visits to the Ministry, but none of them appeared too significant. So she snuck by the Malfoy residence a few times in the dead of night to sort through their rubbish. All that came of that was some foul-smelling stains on her robes, and some crumpled drafts of love poems that her cousin Draco was writing to someone named "Pansy." Too bad for him, Pansy was awfully hard to rhyme.

Finally, after nine days (she was counting), Remus returned. She didn't see him until evening time, at the Order meeting. Tonks kept sneaking glances at him while Dumbledore questioned the wizards and witches assigned to guard duty, watching over Harry Potter at his Muggle-Aunt's house. Finally, Dumbledore turned to Remus and asked about the results of his journey to the Continent.

She watched him intently as he spoke, soothed to once again hear the sound of his voice, even if it was only talking about meetings with various government officials and old friends of Dumbledore's. "So all in all," he was saying, "the time in France was far less productive than we had hoped. But DuVent does promise to find like-minded wizards and witches who can help him spread the word of Voldemort's return, and help him keep an eye on known Voldemort supporters. So that is a decent start."

Dumbledore nodded, and said, "You should return, in a month's time, to gauge his progress."

"Gladly," replied Remus.

"And how did the Spaniards respond to your news?" asked Dumbledore.

Remus smiled. "Much better than the French. I was able to meet with the Spanish Head of Magical Law Enforcement himself, and he seems very concerned. He is setting his people to work immediately to keep a watch on suspected Voldemort sympathizers, and he has the approval of the Vice-Minister of Magic, Juan Tovieda."

"Excellent! Fine work, Remus," said Dumbledore.

"Thank-you, Headmaster," Remus replied. "I was told that Vice-Minister Tovieda is interested in meeting with you personally on the subject."

Dumbledore nodded. "I shall write him immediately."

As Remus finished his report of meeting with old acquaintances of Dumbledore in Spain, she was struck once more by the question of why he had never achieved greater prominence in wizarding society. He seemed like a natural diplomat, and would doubtless have done well in politics if he had been given the chance. Tonks wondered, not for the first time, if these mysterious "health problems" were the source of his obscurity.

The meeting soon turned to reports from other members, but Tonks couldn't keep her mind on the proceedings. She was too distracted by her (rather inappropriate) thoughts about Remus. Casually, pretending to be stretching her neck, she turned her head in his direction to look at him. To her surprise, she found that he was already looking at her. Their eyes locked for a moment, and he gave her a faint smile, which she returned, before looking back at Diggle, who was making a report on his attempts to spy on some of the Death Eaters' families. Her heart was pounding fast, and a warm flush had spread over her face. She couldn't help but wonder if he was still looking at her.

After that night, Tonks continued to make a point of visiting Grimmauld Place as often as she could, hoping to run into Remus there. But usually she would just end up helping Sirius and the Weasley's around the house. Sirius enjoyed the company, and the Weasley's appreciated the help--though Molly seemed to be making a point of keeping Tonks away from anything breakable.

But on the occasions when Remus was there, Tonks always felt her heart lift. Something about him made her feel happy just to be near him. Even if it was just an Order meeting, she enjoyed watching him talk--she even enjoyed watching him listen, or clean, or walk, or sit, or whatever else he was doing. In fact, Remus-watching was becoming her number one hobby. She kept hoping to once more catch him watching her in return--but so far, she hadn't succeeded.

She also didn't have any success in finding time alone with him--there were far too many people in the house for that. But she still enjoyed spending time with him in a group, even if it meant joining him in a card game with Ron and Hermione, or helping him and Sirius clean out the refuse from old Mrs. Black's bedroom, where Sirius' pet Hippogriff lived.

At first Tonks tried to pretend that she was just curious about her intriguing new friend, but it wasn't long before she had to admit to herself that she had a pretty huge crush on Remus Lupin.