Phoenix and Fascination

Chapter 1: New Friends and Old Family

As Nymphadora Tonks drew closer to her first meeting with the Order of the Phoenix at 12 Grimmauld Place, she began to feel increasingly nervous. Just five days earlier she had gone from being chastised at work by Rufus Scrimgeour, head of the Auror Department, for expressing too much pro-Dumbledore sentiment around the office to receiving an unexpected visit at her flat from her colleagues Kingsley Shacklebolt and Arthur Weasley whom proceeded to recruit her for Dumbledore's secret organization. It was a lot for a girl to take in. During a personal meeting with Dumbledore just two days later (an extremely intimidating experience) he had formally invited Tonks to become a full-fledged member of the Order. But the full implications of her decision to join were still sinking in.

Tonks' anxiety must have been visible as they approached the headquarters, because Arthur Weasley, who accompanied her, spoke up reassuringly, "You have nothing to worry about, Tonks. Everyone will be delighted to see you. Particularly Sirius." The news of her cousin's innocence was one of the many new facts that had taken her by surprise. Tonks had tried to take it all in stride, but was still having trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that a man she had long believed to be a deranged murderer was actually innocent, and was working for the good-guys. Meeting him again was one of the things that was making her the most nervous.

Another meeting that was stirring her nerves was brought to mind when Arthur said, "Have I told you that my family is going to be staying here for the summer, helping Sirius make the place habitable? It was in quite a state when we got here, and there is still much work to be done. You know Bill, my oldest son, don't you? And weren't you in the same year in school as my second boy, Charlie?"

Tonks nodded with a smile, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. She remembered Bill and Charlie very well indeed. They'd both been in Gryffindor, she in Ravenclaw, but they were the sort that stood out in a crowd. The Weasley boys always ran with a more popular group than her, and half the girls in her class had fancied one or the other of them. Tonks had rather fancied Bill herself--not that she ever had a chance with someone that popular. That was one of the reasons she'd always liked Arthur--her fond memories of his sons. She was very much looking forward to meeting Bill again. Maybe Tonks the Auror would make more of an impression than shy little Nymphadora the odd-looking Ravenclaw had made. She had turned her hair a fetching shade of blue for the occasion, and was wearing her favorite aquamarine robes to compliment the hair color. Anything to make a good impression. She just hoped her nerves wouldn't get in the way.

"Be quiet on the way in," Arthur warned her when they reached the house. "There's a particularly vocal painting in the entryway that we don't want to agitate."

Arthur opened the door to the run-down old house, and tip-toed inside. Tonks tried to follow suit, whispering loudly, "If it's so vocal, why haven't you taken it down yet?"

Arthur turned suddenly to shush her, and she jumped a bit, accidentally tripping over a dusty umbrella stand made of a hollowed troll's foot. Umbrella's scattered with a noisy clatter, and two tatty old curtains suddenly flew aside revealing a large portrait of a sour-faced woman who was now screeching, "Freaks! Filth! Foul intruders! How dare you besmirch the house of Black! Vile muggle-lovers! Blood-traiters! Leave this place and never return! ..." The woman in the portrait continued to shriek, while Tonks looked on in horror.

Two men darted out of a nearby room, and began struggling to close the curtains over the painting, while Arthur Weasley pulled out his wand and attempted to stun the shrieking woman. Tonks scrambled to right the umbrella stand and gather its scattered contents. After a few moments everything was back where it belonged, and the portrait was once again quiet behind its curtains. Arthur Weasley gestured that she should follow him, and he led the way with the other two men down a nearby staircase, and into the basement kitchen.

As they walked, Tonks finally realized who the two men were. One, tall and gaunt with long loose black hair, was none other than Sirius Black. The other, a little shorter, had his equally long red hair pulled back into a ponytail, and had a dragon-fang earring dangling from one ear. It was Bill Weasley. So much for making a good impression. Tonks sighed--it was just like her to let her clumsiness take over when she was nervous. Hopefully the rest of the evening would go better.

As they entered the kitchen, Arthur began introductions. "Bill, you remember Nymphadora, don't you?"

Bill gave her a flashing grin that made her feel a little weak in the knees, and held out his hand. "Of course I remember you! One doesn't meet a metamorphmagus every day."

She shook his hand enthusiastically, and piped up, "But don't call me Nymphadora, really. I still haven't forgiven my Mum for that name. Please just call me Tonks."

Bill laughed. "Tonks it is," he said. She smiled even wider.

"And this," Arthur said gesturing toward the dark haired man, "is your cousin, Sirius Black."

She looked at him nervously, wondering what to make of this dark stranger who so little resembled her vague memories of his dashing younger self. He stared down at her with a crooked smile, as if appraising her. "Well, well, well," he said. "So this is Andromeda's little girl. I haven't seen you since you were this high," he added, holding his hand about three feet above the ground.

"Well, I've grown at least a bit since then," Tonks laughed.

"You certainly have," he said with a smile. "But Merlin's beard! I never would have picked you out as Andromeda's girl--you must favor your father."

Tonks' smile faltered slightly. She had always been a bit sensitive to the fact that she had inherited her father's round cheeks, snub nose, and short stature rather than her mother's graceful and beautiful looks. When she was younger she had regularly used her transformative powers to assume an appearance more like her mother's, but had always felt like she was walking around in a mask all day. So for the past several years, she had contented herself with her natural heart-shaped round-cheeked face. It must be part of maturing, she reasoned, to come to accept her natural appearance. But acceptance only went so far--she couldn't let her abilities go to waste, after all. She indulged her taste for experimentation by constantly changing her hair, and occasionally toying with her nose as well.

"I don't know, Sirius," came a new voice. "I think she looks quite a bit like her Mother--particularly around the eyes."

Tonks looked over to discover the source of the unexpected compliment, and saw another man sitting at the kitchen table. He was dressed in rather shabby robes, and had brown hair lightly streaked with grey. A few lines were evident on his face, but he still seemed fairly young--as if his grey hair and lines were more a result of hardship than of age. He wasn't as strikingly handsome as Sirius or Bill, but had very pleasant and kindly features, with a very charming smile.

"You know, Remus, I think you might be right," said Sirius, peering at her eyes.

Arthur started forward. "Tonks, this is another member of the Order, Remus Lupin." She seemed to remember hearing his name before--but she couldn't quite place it.

Tonks walked forward with her hand outstretched, and Remus rose to take her hand in a firm, warm grip. "Pleased to meet you, Nymphadora," he said shaking her hand.

"Just Tonks," she reminded him firmly, although for some reason her name didn't sound as silly as usual when he said it.

"Tonks," he repeated with another warm grin.

Sirius spoke again, "Tonks, you have no idea what a relief it is to know that someone else in the family feels the same way I do about dark wizards."

Tonks laughed, and they all sat down around the table. "It still sounds so funny, coming from you. Remember--I grew up thinking you were one of the worst Dark Wizards in all England."

Sirius scowled. "The ministry can make mistakes from time to time."

"I'm realizing that," she responded. "But on a happier note, my Mum never believed you were guilty, and still doesn't. She insists that it was your knowledge of your own innocence that kept you sane enough to escape Azkaban."

"Your mother always was a very intelligent woman," Sirius said with a slight smile.

"I hope that sometime soon I can tell her the truth about you--she'd really like that," added Tonks.

"And so would I," replied Sirius.

Just then Kingsley and several other wizards entered the kitchen, and introductions all around took up most of their time until the meeting began. Tonks was pleased to see so many well-respected wizards and witches participating in the Order--even a few of her old Hogwarts teachers. Seeing McGonagall didn't surprise her, but she was a bit taken aback when her old Potions Master, Severus Snape, walked in. She'd never much cared for Snape, though she did quite well in his class. He'd never appreciated her sense of humor, nor her aesthetic experiments. When he walked in, she was almost shocked into resuming the natural mousy brown color of her hair that he had always insisted upon when she entered his classroom. Professor McGonagall greeted her warmly, but Snape only acknowledged her presence with a slight sneer--apparently he hadn't changed much.

To Tonks' surprise, Dumbeldore did not arrive until the meeting was half over. Before then, the meeting was led by Remus Lupin.

His quiet affability seemed ideally suited to organize and guide the discussion amongst such a widely varied group of wizards. Everyone at the table seemed to respect and admire him a great deal--except Snape, who scoweled every time Remus spoke. Tonks wondered if Snape hated Lupin particularly, or simply disliked humanity at large. She was leaning toward the latter. She continued to search her mind for where she may have heard of Lupin before, but she simply couldn't remember.

By the time Dumbledore arrived, all of the minor details and reports had been taken care of, and they were able to move quickly on to more important matters. Dumbledore heard the major reports, made new assignments, and reasserted his determination to continue his campaign for public awareness, in spite of the Ministry-sponsored persecution being heaped upon him. Before long, the meeting was over, and most of the witches and wizards began to leave. Tonks noticed that Dumbledore stayed for a brief chat with Lupin--who was presumably filling him in on what had been discussed before he arrived. Lupin had impressed her very much, and she was left wondering why a man of such talent and intelligence had not achieved greater prominence in wizarding society--if he had, she would certainly have remembered him better.

She was excited to be a part of the Order, but couldn't help feeling a little out of place. She was the youngest member, for one. And everyone else seemed to know each other quite well already. They were friendly enough--but she still felt a little awkward. Hopefully things would get easier over time. But, she reminded herself, she wasn't here to join a social club. She was here to work.

There weren't any more Order meetings scheduled for several days, and Tonks was feeling a bit at loose ends (especially considering her assignment for the Order was nothing but snooping on her co-workers--something she did anyway--with the added responsibility of spying on her least favorite relatives, the Malfoy's--something she would prefer to avoid). To make things more interesting, she volunteered to spend her free evenings helping around Grimmauld Place--mostly as an excuse to get to know her cousin better--and to help the rest of the Weasley family move in for the summer--mostly as an excuse to see more of Bill. She may not be joining a social club, but she could still try to have a good time while working, couldn't she?

Two nights after her introduction to the Order, Tonks returned alone to Grimmauld Place to offer her services, this time wearing a muted navy robe, but topped off with her favorite pink hair. After knocking quietly for several minutes with no response, she was getting frustrated. She had been warned, quite specifically, not to ring the bell. Finally, with a sigh, she whipped out her wand and sent her Patronus in to announce her arrival. She watched as the silvery form of a lizard burst from her wand and slid through the door. In just a few moments she heard the latches opening, and the door was pulled open by Remus Lupin.

"Good evening, Tonks," he said softly with a smile. "Sorry we didn't hear you knocking. Come on in."

"Wotcher, Remus," she said in a whisper as she entered the house. He led her towards the stairs, and she carefully stepped around the umbrella holder--she wouldn't make that mistake again.

"We're upstairs, putting the final touches on the bedrooms," he said quietly as she followed him up the stairs. "They're supposed to be habitable tomorrow, for the Weasley's to move in. We appreciate your help, Nymphadora."

"Tonks, Remus!" she exclaimed loudly, now that they were out of range of the painting. "Just Tonks!"

"Sorry," he replied with that charming smile of his. "I've never much cared for the practice of referring to one's friends by their surname only. But I suppose I'll have to make an exception in your case."

"Thanks!" she replied, as he led her up yet another flight of stairs. "And I'm glad to hear that you already think of me as a friend."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Don't know," she shrugged. "I guess I just felt a little out of place the other night--like I didn't really belong here."

He stopped, and looked her in the eyes with a serious expression, "Of course you belong here, Tonks. Everyone who believes in fighting against the evil that threatens us belongs here. And who better to join that fight than an Auror? You're more qualified for the tasks before us than most of the rest of us."

"But lot's of the rest of you fought against You-Know-Who the first time around," she said.

"And we would have failed, if it hadn't been for Harry Potter."

"Do you really believe that?" she asked

He nodded. "I do--just like I believe that in the end, we may once more rely upon him for our salvation." Tonks was fascinated. She had heard rumors and theories around the ministry about Potter's strange power over the Dark Lord, but she had never given them much credit. Remus continued, "Most of what the Order is doing now is about delay--we need to delay the battle with Voldemort for as long as we can, until Harry is ready to face him."

She winced at the mention of the Dark Lord's name, but felt her respect for this strange man grow. Not many people were brave enough to say his name. And not many people were humble enough to admit that so much of their success depended on someone else--especially if that someone was still a child.

"Do you know something that I don't, Remus?" she asked.

He stood quiet for a minute, pondering, before answering, "Dumbledore will tell you when he's ready. Let's not keep Sirius waiting any longer." He turned and led the way into one of the bedrooms.

"There you are, Tonks!" cried Sirius as they entered the room. "Delighted to see you! We need a little estrogen in here to liven the place up."

"You need a lot more than that," she answered, looking around the dank and dreary room. "So where do we start?"

Remus answered, "We've already eliminated all of the infestations in the bedrooms, so now we just have to finish the cleaning--dusting, sweeping, and laundering the linens."

"How many rooms are we working on tonight?" she asked.

"Five," answered Sirius, looking glum.

"Then we'd better get on it," she said brightly. "And I think I know a way to make things go a little faster."

"Do you now?" said Sirius.

"Since we'll be laundering the linens anyway, we might as well pull them off first thing, and use them to do the dusting with."

Sirius and Remus both laughed. "Now that's my kind of cleaning," said Sirius.

Remus cocked an eyebrow at her. "Surely your mother wouldn't approve of such a method, would she?"

"Naw--but my mum isn't here, is she?" she replied, and felt gratified by the grin he gave her in return.

They plunged into the job, pulling off the linens, using them to give the furniture a good wipe down, and then chucking them out into the hall and moving on to the next room. They had a lively conversation as they worked, talking about where Sirius had been and what he had been up to while he was on the run. Tonks, in turn, filled him in on what she and her parents had been up to for the past thirteen years. Remus Lupin didn't say much, but when he did chime in, she found that he was not nearly as somber as she had at first believed--in fact he seemed to have quiet a lively sense of humor, and he and Sirius seemed to share a large number of private jokes that left her completely behind.

After sharing what seemed like the hundredth such joke of the night, Remus looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry about all this, Tonks. Sirius and I didn't get to see much of each other this past year, and we're still making up for those thirteen years of lost time."

"Old friends, are you?" asked Tonks, a bit surprised. Remus didn't seem like the type that her flamboyant cousin would have gravitated towards.

"Oh yes," replied Sirius. "Old Moony and I have been chums since our first day at Hogwarts, about a hundred years ago."

"Moony?" she asked.

Remus looked a bit sheepish--Tonks thought she saw a bit of a blush spreading across his pale cheeks. "It's an old nickname," he said. "Another one of our ..."

"Private jokes," she finished for him with an understanding smile.

A few minutes later, the conversation took a turn in her direction again. "That was an interesting Patronus you had, Tonks," said Sirius. "I don't believe I've ever seen one in the form of a lizard before."

Before she could answer, Remus spoke up. "But you might agree how very appropriate the form is, when you notice just what type of lizard it is."

Tonks grinned. No one had ever noticed that on first sight before. "I didn't think you'd catch that!" she said.

"I've become, over the years, something of an expert at paying attention to small details," he said, flashing her another of his charming smiles. For some reason she felt her heart beating a little faster.

"So now who has a private joke?" Sirius butted in. "What kind of lizard was it?"

Tonks smiled at Remus, and let him answer. "It was a chameleon," he said.

Sirius chuckled. "A chameleon! How very appropriate indeed."

Tonks nodded. "My Dad gave me one for my seventh birthday, a few months after we discovered I was a metamorphmagus. He thought I would enjoy a pet that shared some of my abilities. He also thought it would help remind me that my powers were normal and natural--that I wasn't a freak."

Remus was staring at her very intently. "It sounds like you have a very wise father," he said.

"The best," she answered.

Soon after, all the linens had been piled in the hall, and all the rooms were dusted. "All that's left now is the sweeping and the laundry," said Remus. "And things would probably go quickest if two of us started on the laundry while the third sweeps up."

Sirius looked glum. "Brooms or washbasins," he muttered with a sigh. "I'll have to do the sweeping. I just can't stand all that sogginess." When Tonks gave him a quizzical look, he said, "I just spent more than five months living in a damp cave--the laundry room here reminds me far too much of that unpleasant experience for me to want to visit it anytime soon."

"Very well, then," said Remus cheerily. "It's Tonks and I for the laundry then."

She and Remus levitated the piles of linens, and started down the stairs with them, while Sirius bewitched the broomstick into sweeping up the rooms for him.

As they headed down the final flight of stairs into the basement, Tonks said, "I must warn you, Remus, I've never been very good at these householdly sorts of spells."

"Are you saying you don't do your own laundry?" he asked with a sly grin.

"Oh, I do it all right," she said with a laugh. "It just tends to get a bit ... messy. That's all."

His face still had a decidedly mischievous cast to it when he answered, "I'm sure it won't be anything I can't handle."

Sirius was right about the laundry room resembling a damp cave. The stone walls were dank, and the only light came from the four sputtering candles Remus lit as they entered. Two large washbasins with taps over them stood against the far wall. Tonks opened the taps and began to fill both basins with warm sudsy water. "At least the wash water still works," she said with satisfaction.

She and Remus began piling the dirty linens into the basins, and then set the enchanted scrub boards and wringers to work. Tonks managed to splash the soapy water on herself only three times, and only splashed Remus once. It was much better than she had expected.

They chatted about her career a bit while supervising the wash. "Most of the other Aurors that I've met have rather grim dispositions," said Remus. "Why did someone with your--lighthearted demeanor--decide to become an Auror?"

"You mean how did a silly little ninny like me decide she wanted to spend her days fighting Dark Wizards?" she replied with a laugh.

"That's certainly not how I would have phrased it--but yes, essentially that is what I'm asking," he answered.

She had never yet told anyone the full truth about her decision to become an Auror, and she wasn't about to start now. Instead, she told him the same half-truth that she told all her friends. "I figured that with so many Dark Wizards in the family, my being an Auror would help balance the scales a bit. Even things out, you know?" she said. She went on to describe how she'd gone into the Department of Magical Law Enforcement right after school, and had finally been accepted as an Auror last year after two previous attempts. "It was the Stealth and Tracking that did me in the first two times--I barely squeaked by on my last try. Somehow I managed to keep my clumsy in check," she said candidly.

"You? Clumsy?" Remus said with that same sly grin. She grinned right back--she was really starting to like this fellow.

"The fact that I'm dripping in wash water didn't clue you in?" she said with a laugh.

Remus shook his head. "I don't think you're clumsy--just occasionally inattentive to detail."

"Ahh," she replied, taking up his bantering tone, "Then I've come to the right place to learn--after all, you are the master of meticulousness, are you not?"

"Indeed--walk in the path that I will teach you, and you can become truly great," he said in a mock serious tone. "You can see how far it's gotten me," he said laughing, and gesturing down at his patched and threadbare clothes.

Tonks laughed along with him--it was nice that he didn't take himself too seriously. But she still didn't feel sufficiently comfortable with him to ask him why he had the appearance of a poor man, when he had the intelligence and talent to be so much more.

They fell silent for a moment. Suddenly, Remus asked a most unexpected question, "Why don't you like your name?"

No one had ever, in Tonks' recollection, actually asked her why she didn't like it. Once she said she didn't, they would simply let it drop. It took her a moment to collect her wits enough to answer. "Well," she said, "It's so silly, isn't it? So overblown? I've always thought something simpler would have suited me better--like Jane, or Lizzie, or Sue. Not that overdramatic atrocity Nymphadora."

Remus shook his head. "I disagree. Simple would not do for you. You're no Jane. I think dramatic is just right for you as a matter of fact."

Tonks laughed. "Now you're just teasing me."

"Not at all. And I think naming you for a nymph was quiet appropriate--right now you look every inch the lovely young water nymph."

Tonks was blushing. "Now I know you're teasing me."

Remus once more gave her that impish grin. "Maybe a little," he admitted. "But I still think it suits you. Nymphadora--the nymph whom everyone adores."

Tonks continued to blush ferociously, and stared at the floor, unsure of what to say next. Thankfully, Sirius arrived at just that moment to rescue her, and soon enough conversation had become easy and normal again.

Once the linens were all clean and hung on the clothes-lines crisscrossing the room, Tonks managed to soak herself with water once again when she botched a drying charm. Remus took over the task, and Sirius led her back to the kitchen, where he popped open a bottle of red wine to share before she left.

"Thanks, Sirius," she said, sipping her glass. "I need a little booze after that drying spell fiasco. I feel like a fool."

"No harm done. Remus can manage just fine without us."

"I'm sure he can," she said, her mind still pondering her interesting new friend. There had been moments when Remus seemed to be teasing her like a kid sister, just as Sirius did, but other moments when he seemed to be flirting with her. And what puzzled her even more than the idea of this serious older wizard flirting with her of all people, was the thought that she had enjoyed it.

Remus rejoined them just as Tonks was standing to leave, and he offered to see her out. As they reached the front door, Remus said softly, "I hope you won't feel out of place here, anymore. I hope you now see that you really do have friends here."

"I do Remus. I really do. Thank you," she said, unlatching the door to leave.

"One last thing," he said, with an odd smile on his face, as she opened the door.

"Yes?"

"May I call you Nymphadora?"

The question caught her completely off guard, and she stared in surprise into his intense hazel eyes. "Well ..." she stammered. "Yes. I suppose. But only in private--all right?"

He nodded at her with a gentle smile. "Only in private."

"Okay then. Goodnight Remus."

"Goodnight."