Beyond Azkaban

Chapter Four

***

"Hello?" The voice of Remus Lupin called into Sirius' flat.

"And what do you want Moony?" he said rudely, yet mockingly.

"Just saying hi, and Dumbledore told me to give this to you," he finished, holding out a slip of parchment for Sirius to take.

Sirius took the paper and teased, "Are you sure you're not just here for a good shag? I'd love to give you one."

"I'm sure, but maybe you should read what Dumbledore has to say."

"Always the practical one, my Moony is."

"Yup, that's me. Now what does he have to say?"

"Just to get Lily and James and join them with him. Interesting, I wonder why."

"Didn't James want you to be his Secret-Keeper?"

"Yeah, he did. Dumbledore didn't, though. He offered to himself."

"That's strange." Remus paused for a moment, probably brooding.

"He seems to think that one of us is a spy. Can't imagine who."

"Yeah, well, you should get going. It's probably more or less urgent."

"And I thought you wanted that shag."

"Another day, another time. Just go."

"Fine, fine. Stay and make yourself at home. I'll be looking forward to you when I get back." Sirius Apparated out of his apartment to the sound of Remus' soft chuckles.

***

The funny thing was, that, at the time, Sirius had thought that there was a possibility of Remus being the spy. His love, the spy. He laughed at the irony of it and imagined that Moony now thought him to be the spy. They both should've known better.

***

It had been less than two days since the Charm was performed, and Sirius was at Godric's Hollow with Lily and James again. The conversations had had nothing to do with Voldemort until he decided to bring the topic up.

"Voldemort has been so quiet since we performed the Charm. You'd think he'd be desperately searching for us," he said, out-of-the-blue. "Do you think we should do something maybe, you know, to throw him off?"

"What do you mean, Padfoot?" James asked curiously.

"Like a bluff or something."

"You mean like switching Secret-Keepers?" asked Lily, who didn't sound too thrilled with the idea at all.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Sirius. "But make it someone who he'd never expect, someone like..."

"Peter?" asked James excitedly.

"That's perfect! Voldemort would never go after Peter. I mean, I'm the obvious choice - but Peter... he'd never guess!"

"What do you think, Lily?"

"I don't know. Weren't you paying attention to what Dumbledore said and is still saying? There's a spy around."

"And do you honestly think it's Peter?" he asked skeptically.

"It could be anyone."

"Look, Lily, maybe Sirius is right. It is a little weird that we haven't heard anything, and he only tried one thing since Harry was born."

Lily opened her mouth to argue, but Harry's crying, a sign that he had woken up, interrupted her. So she ran upstairs, leaving the issue at rest.

***

He began pacing up and down his cell, the memory playing over and over again in his head. He felt like one of those Muggle movies he had been so fascinated with as a child; only he wasn't able to stop the scenes flashing before him.

***

One loud bang, and Remus entered the room where Sirius, Lily, and James already were standing, with Lily holding Harry in her arms.

"Moony! I didn't know you were coming!" exclaimed James.

"Dumbledore said all of you might be here, so I decided to join you."

"All the Marauders, except Peter," said Sirius reminiscently.

"Speaking of which, have you heard from him lately, Moony?" asked James.

"No really, but the same goes for all of you, except Sirius, that is," Remus answered, looking around the room. "Harry! You've grown since I last saw you. And the hair makes you look more like James already. Poor thing."

"Hey, watch it."

"Yes, it is a good thing he has Lily's eyes, otherwise it would all be hopeless," added Sirius.

"Can we please stop insulting both my husband and my son, no matter how true the comments may be?" Lily begged, exasperated.

"Fine," chimed Sirius and Remus in unison.

And the afternoon passed quickly, without talk of neither Secret-Keepers nor Voldemort.

***

No, no, no! He mentally stopped himself from going on, knowing that the bodies of Lily and James would be the next things to remember. It was amazing how a year's worth of memories could be played so quickly over and over again in one's head within less than a day, and sometimes the terrible dreams and fantasies to go along with them.

These memories had been playing in his head for years now, and practically nothing could stop them, not even his Animagus form. He had been in the prison for ten years now; it was only natural that the thoughts should get worse with time.

However, there were those moments when he thought of Remus or something happier than the deaths of Lily and James. Sometimes he thought of Harry, hoping that he was having a better life than his godfather, whom he probably didn't even know existed. Harry would be in his first year at Hogwarts now, and Sirius wondered if Dumbledore had told him everything and anything about his parents and their life and deaths. If so, the child probably hated him, just like Remus.

At this thought, he choked back a sob. The idea of Harry hating him he could somehow bear, he was only one year old when it happened, but Remus...Remus should know him better than that.

***

"Will I be able to see you while you're in hiding?" asked Remus before the Charm was performed.

He really didn't want to answer that, as the answer would not only upset Remus, but also himself. "Well...I really want to say 'yes', but..."

"The answer is no?" Remus finished for him.

"Yeah," he paused, then said, "But, Moony, I'm sure Dumbledore will let me go out after awhile. I mean, how long can Voldemort search for Harry, Lily, and James?"

Remus stared at him for a bit, then said sullenly, "For as long as he likes."

It was Sirius' turn to stare, and he did, but then he brightened. "Well, we can make up for the lost time, that is, if you want to..."

And so they did.

***

Sirius awoke to a wail that sounded oddly familiar. It wasn't coming from anywhere too close to his cell, so it must've been from something larger than your average person. There was only one person that he could think of who fit that description, and that was Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and grounds at Hogwarts.

But what on earth would he be doing in Azkaban? Dumbledore had vouched for him for something or other years ago, although he wasn't sure what, but wouldn't that keep him from being landed here? He tried thinking of when he had known Hagrid, but he couldn't think of anything suspicious or strange. Only one memory of Hagrid really stood out in his head, and that was Halloween, now eleven years ago....

***

He watched as Hagrid flew off on his motorbike with Harry...He looked down to see Lily's blackened hair and her once joyful emerald eyes...He saw James' glasses, then his best friend's body....

***

Sirius was an insomniac now; otherwise he simply couldn't fall asleep because of the yowls Hagrid made in his own slumber, along with those from others.

Lately, memories of Remus had been haunting him, though sometimes he invented scenes with Harry in them, wondering what the twelve-year-old looked like, if he resembles James in any way, what his life was like. Needless to say, he could only guess.

The thoughts of Remus were almost always negative, unless he was Padfoot. Sirius couldn't help but think that Remus hated him for supposedly killing Lily and James, and even if he didn't hate him, he hoped he could forgive him for thinking that he was the spy. Sirius would gladly forgive Remus for believing that, if only he could get out of Azkaban.

***

"Sirius, how could you?" he heard an all too familiar voice shout to him.

He turned around and saw Pettigrew, who had appeared to be waiting for him. "What are you talking about you son of a bitch?" he snarled back.

The two were making circles around the other as Muggles came out of their homes, curious about what the commotion was. Sirius could hear sirens of the Muggle policemen in the background.

"Lily and James, Sirius! How could you?" Peter repeated for the Muggles to hear.

"Why you..."

***

Sirius awoke suddenly from a long awaited sleep. He wondered why he was startled awake, and looked from place to place. Then he listened. There was nothing, it was quiet. Hagrid was gone.

He smiled to himself; at least someone could be proven innocent. He wondered who was responsible for doing so. Probably Dumbledore, he was always good for sticky situations, except for Sirius'. But it was his own fault that Dumbledore didn't know. It was amazing how rash he could be.

***