Beyond Azkaban

Chapter 3

***

"Had fun?" Sirius asked James rather sarcastically as he walked in while Lily Evans walked out of his dorm.

"Course. What's up?"

"Not too much, but James, you do realize that this is the last year you'll see her all time, maybe ever again?" It was time that James had some sense talked into his love-stroked self.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked.

"I'm just saying. I have nothing wrong with you two, in fact, I'm happy for you, but it's true." Like so many other things....

"You didn't answer the question."

"James, in case you haven't noticed, the Wizarding world is slowly collapsing beneath our feet. Dumbledore sees it, he knows what's happening, and you need to snap out of the little dream world you're living in, especially since you want to be an Auror when you get out of here." Okay, that was a bit harsher than he had wanted it to be....

"I don't see what Lily has to do with any of this."

"It's simple. She's a Mudblood." James glared at him menacingly because of the term. But it's true, he told himself.

"Sorry, James, but you know it as well as I do. She's Muggle-born. They're the targets."

"Lily is not going to get hurt or killed in anyway. I love her too much for that to happen!" shouted James with anger boiling inside of him. "I think your damn mother is getting to you."

"Maybe so, but James, think about it!" he shouted.

"If you're jealous, just say it!"

"Be reasonable, damn it! I'm not jealous of you and Lily! She's been your crush for ages, and I'm your best friend, I wouldn't do that." Jealous? Now he really did have a reason to be pissed....

" 'Best friend' my ass."

For once, Sirius didn't have an answer. He just stood there as Remus and Peter walked in, feeling rather stupid. But he was too stubborn to give in.

***

He pushed the memory out of his head, thinking over and over again "I'm innocent, I'm innocent..."

That was the one fight he and James had ever had, the one time that they didn't just laugh at themselves and instantly make up. After that, they didn't speak to the other for about a week. Looking back, it was a stupid argument, and he had been a prick, but he had been thinking of James all the same. And it was even harder to look back on it now that they were dead.

"Don't go there," he said aloud, though not realizing he had. He knew that the next things that he would see in his head were Lily and James' bodies, which would lead to thoughts of Pettigrew, and then continue along the same train of thought to that night.

***

"You'd just love to kill me, wouldn't you?" Peter whispered through the bars of Sirius' cell.

He knew that Pettigrew was just instigating, but he couldn't resist.. "Of course I would you bastard," he growled, traveling towards the bars.

"Shame you're in there and I'm out here, isn't it?" he taunted. "Then, maybe, you could've stopped me."

"Stopped you from what?"

Pettigrew waved his wand and the body of Remus, then Harry, appeared into his cell. Sirius saw them and panicked, backing away from them as Peter stood there and laughed....

***

He woke with a start, frantically looking for Pettigrew, but he soon relaxed. It was a dream, just a dream. He must have fallen asleep, which was possibly the worst thing to do in Azkaban. He sat up on his cot and stretched his arms out to their full length. "Ah, yes, Sirius Black," he heard someone mutter.

He looked up to see the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, at the door of his cell. "Maybe they figured out that I'm innocent, that I didn't kill Lily and James," he thought to himself bitterly as the Minister quickly moved on. "Ah," said a little voice in the back of his head, "but are you sure you didn't?"

Guilt had built up so much over the many years he had been in Azkaban. He really had killed Lily and James, however indirectly, and he would have to live with that for the rest of his life.

"No, don't think about that. You're innocent," he told himself. Instead he tried to count how many times he had seen Fudge making his yearly inspection of Azkaban. Since Barty Crouch had died, maybe five, which would make seven years- and counting.

***

He finally had him cornered, much like he had had on Halloween. Only this time, he was going to be the victor. This time, Peter wasn't going to become Wormtail.

"S-Sirius, we were friends, w-weren't we? You, you can't just k-kill me like this," he stuttered frantically, his eyes darting from place to place.

"Of course I can, Peter. Just give me a reason and I swear..."

"But wh-what about Lily and James? They wouldn't have wanted you to-"

"Well, unfortunately for you, they aren't here to see this. And they're not here because of you. Oh, look, there's my reason," he said sarcastically, venom dripping from his words.

"Bu-but-"

"You must've known I would do this, that this was coming, especially after those seven years which you had me landed in Azkaban. This is the end, Peter, your end. And I can't say I'm sorry to see it," he added bitterly.

"W-wait, no-" he was desperate now, terrified. He was looking for a way out, for someone to protect him, but he couldn't find one.

"Good-bye Peter." He raised his wand, beginning to shout, "Avada-"

***

His wand arm was raised and his mouth was open, ready to utter the Unforgivable. Then he came back to himself. He couldn't deny the elated feeling running through him as he was "killing" Pettigrew. Sweet revenge. If only the dementors wouldn't suck the bliss out of him.

In some ways, he wished that he would go crazy in Azkaban and scream his dreams into the night for the entertainment of those who had yet to lose their minds. Maybe time would pass by faster and maybe he would die sooner. Or maybe he was already going crazy, judging by his recent daydream.

He had already spent nine years now in Azkaban. If he were the average wizard, he would've been mindless for over eight years. But why hadn't he, Sirius Black, gone completely insane? Then again, he only assumed that Sirius Black really was his name. After all, he had gone eight years without hearing it, anyone else would wonder if that were the case, wouldn't they? He laughed at this idea for some reason. There you go, he thought. "Maybe there's hope for me yet," he said aloud.

***