It Was Always You

Remus' life is pretty near perfect. What more could he ask for...?

-----------------

------------------------------

It Was Always You

------------------------------

------------------

---------------------

Prologue

---------------------

Remus twirled his new wife across the floor one last time before catching her in his arms just as the pianist struck the last chord. She collapsed against him in a heap of breathless giggles, her glowing crimson hair and white lace gown fluttering wildly. Tonks was just perfect.... And she was his.

He smiled softly at her before leaning down to brush a kiss on her cheek. "You make me so happy," he murmured into her hair, his hot breath tickling her neck as the other couples started to move off the floor. She only sighed in reply, delighting in the feel of her husband's touch. Husband.... She smiled. She could get used to that.

The billowing white cotton sails of the outdoor marquee, in which their reception was being held, echoed the soft pleats in the beautiful, simply tailored gown that Tonks wore. Remus marvelled at the breathtaking woman he held in his arms. She was simply radiant. His strong grasp lowering to her waist, Remus pulled back a little, long enough to hold her gaze for a moment. She reddened slightly and let her hands rest on the back of his neck, slipping her fingers beneath his collar, leaning a little closer.

Remus didn't want this day to end. This was the happiest he had been since.... He frowned a little, his mind wandering back.... The smiling man threw his head back and laughed. That barking, infectious laugh that always made Remus involuntarily join in. Remus pulled him towards him and ran a tender hand through those wavy, dark locks, pulling him closer, closer.... Remus looked away guiltily and drew back a little, trying to force the thought from his mind. He shook his head. That was in the past. There wasn't any point thinking about that now. He turned his attention back to his new wife and brushed a stray hair from her forehead.

Tonks stared into those deep, captivating eyes and sighed. They had come a long, long way together, there was no denying that. But every step of the journey had been worth it if the dizzy, elated feeling that she was experiencing right now was anything to go by.

Just to her left, someone cleared their throat, startling her out of her reverie. "Mind if I cut in?"

"Arthur!" Tonks grinned.

The band struck up a jolly number as Arthur Weasley clapped Remus on the shoulder and smiled at the couple.

"Great timing, Arthur," Remus joked, rolling his eyes playfully. "I'll have to get Molly to give you a talking to." He gave Tonks a quick kiss on the forehead and handed her to him. "Hmm," Remus continued, "I'll have to see if I can steal your lovely wife for the next dance Arthur - give you a run for your money!" He smirked.

"Good luck!" the red-haired man replied, waggling his eyebrows comically in Molly's direction. She was engaged in a rather violent foxtrot with Dumbledore. It was made even more comical by the fact that he was a good foot taller than Mrs. Weasley. "You have to hand it to her," he remarked, snorting, "she's making a valiant attempt at keeping up!"

Remus chuckled and held his hands up in mock surrender. "I think I'll just sit this one out." He winked at Tonks as she was whisked away into an up-tempo jive.

Remus walked towards the buffet table and ladled himself a glass of punch, then rested against the edge to watch Tonks laughingly copy Arthur's energetic movements, all but tripping over her floor length dress. He stifled a smirk and let his gaze wander. All his nearest and dearest family and friends had gathered there today. Dumbledore and Harry, the Weasleys, all the members of the Order, Hogwarts staff, Tonks' parents.... He was so touched that everyone had come. Everyone. His face fell a little at this thought, and he absentmindedly swirled the dark liquid round his glass, exhaling heavily as he gazed thoughtfully into the distance. Not quite everyone....

Remus gritted his teeth in annoyance and rubbed his eyes. What's wrong with you, damn it. You've got everything you want, he scolded himself. Stop being stupid.

Except you haven't got everything, have you? a tiny voice reminded him, from the very depths of his mind.

"Shut up," he growled to no-one in particular.

"I never said anything!" came the indignant response.

Remus' eyes sprang open in surprise, to see an amused Fred looking at him.

"I know this is your wedding day, Remus, but that doesn't give you an excuse to insult your guests!" He tried to fake a hurt look but ended up snorting.

Remus relaxed into an easy smile and clapped him on his back. "Just muttering to myself. Are you having a good time?"

"Excellent!" Fred proceeded to peer into the large bowl at the centre of the table.

"Take it easy on the punch, ok?" Remus said, watching the young man serve himself a generous helping. "I don't know who made it, but it's very strong."

"Hmm, probably mum," Fred replied. "We've got more Weasley recipes than I can remember. Oh, that reminds me, I'll get an extra glass as well. She'll probably need it after Dumbledore finishes with her!" He jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

Remus turned to discover that Molly and Albus were still going strong - with what now appeared to be an Irish jig.

He waved Fred off and the young man raised his glass to Remus before trotting away. The image triggered a memory in Remus' mind - one that had lain dormant for a long time.... Almost involuntarily, he closed his eyes as his mind drifted back....

Dumbledore raised his glass to propose a toast and the members of the Order all followed suit.

"To new beginnings, new friendships, and love!"

"Beginnings, friendships, and love!" everyone chorused.

Remus lowered his glass to his lips and smiled at the others around the table in the dining room of Grimmauld Place, taking care not to let his gaze rest for too long on the person who happened to be sitting to the far left of him.

Suddenly he felt a brush against his cheek and started, sloshing his drink a little, and murmured a cleaning spell just as Tonks pecked him on the cheek a second time. "Making you nervous, am I?" she teased softly, only loud enough for him to hear.

Remus swallowed nervously, feeling rather than seeing the frown that Sirius was boring into the back of Tonks' head.

"Don't," he replied softly, avoiding her gaze.

She pouted playfully and lightly touched his arm in what could easily be perceived as an innocent gesture. "Oh come on...." She tucked her arm through his lightly, only to have him firmly remove it. She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "You're no fun!"

Remus only reddened and waited until she had engaged in a conversation with Kingsley, who was sitting on her other side, before daring to meet Sirius' eyes.

Sirius' mouth was set in a firm line and he appeared to be sitting rigidly in his chair. He raised his eyebrows and flicked his gaze briefly towards Tonks and back again to Remus. He got up from his seat and gave Remus a pointed look before excusing himself to leave the room, clearly indicating that Remus should follow.

Remus cleared his throat a little and gave it a few minutes before pushing his own chair back and following suit.

He passed along the corridor and went through to the kitchen, his breathing suddenly beginning to quicken slightly. He felt sure that Sirius would be waiting for him in the lounge, but he needed to clear his throat first. He felt so dry. Without bothering to turn the light on, he walked straight to the sink, flicked on the tap and poured himself a glass of water, turning around to rest against the worktop as he raised the cool water to his lips. As he did so, his gaze flicked to the other side of the room. The glass fell from his hand.

Damn it! Remus grasped for his wand to clear up the shattered remains on the floor, but Sirius beat him to it. With a lazy flick of his wand, the broken shards were gone.

Remus exhaled loudly. "Damn it, Sirius, sneaking up on me like that!" He rubbed his eyes. "You'll give me a heart attack one of these days."

Sirius replaced his wand in his sleeve and smirked, placing his hands lazily in his pockets and pushing away from the far wall. "You'll have to be quicker than that, Remus. I could have been anyone. It doesn't pay to be off your guard. Voldemort may be gone, but he still has plenty of followers. Any one of them could follow in his footsteps." His voice became bitter as he neared the centre of the room. "And what a tidy little package we'd make - all of us, here in Headquarters, completely off our guard." His voice thickened. "Making toasts about friendship and love.... How cosy."

He turned away and there was silence for a few moments until Sirius spoke once more.

"What the hell was that, by the way?" he snapped, jerking his head in the direction of the dining room.

Remus shifted his weight uneasily and looked at Sirius' back. "What was what?" he replied, his voice rising a little. He raked a hand through his hair nervously.

Sirius whirled around to face him, his eyes darkening. "Don't give me that! You know full well what. Tonks! She was all over you!"

Remus exhaled, refusing to meet his stare. "Come on, Sirius. It's nothing - "

Sirius stepped closer until they were barely a foot apart.

Remus was suddenly aware that he was holding his breath. His gaze dropped to the floor.

"Look at me," Sirius murmured softly.

Remus resolutely studied the pattern of the floor tiles, his face reddening slightly.

Sirius stepped closer still and brushed a finger against the underside of Remus' chin. His voice lowered to a soft whisper. "Look at me...." He tilted his chin upwards and those piercing eyes bore right through into Remus' very soul.

Remus shivered.

Sirius' gaze enveloped him, and as he leaned closer, his musky scent washing over him, Remus felt himself falling all over again....

A rather rough shove jolted Remus back into the present and he reddened slightly, almost expecting someone to have noticed what he had been thinking.

"Ooops, sorry Remus!" Ron's apology was partially muffled by the two biscuits that he had just stuffed into his mouth.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh for goodness sake, Ron," she scolded, grasping him by his elbow. "Can't you at least pretend to have some manners?" She threw Remus an apologetic look as she steered Ron away.

Remus gave her a half smile and inhaled a shaky breath, his mind still preoccupied. He leaned against the table and loosened his tie a little. When did it suddenly get so hot? He took a good few seconds to steady himself before turning once more to survey the crowd.

His gaze was suddenly captured by Tonks, who was deep in conversation with her mother, Andromeda. Tonks' dark, expressive eyes mirrored those of her mother, and sparks of excitement flew every so often from the tips of her short, cropped hair. Her tinkling laugh carried across the room and he watched her throw her head back and laugh heartily at something that her mother had just said.

"It's your wedding and it seems to me that you are the only one not dancing," a soft voice suddenly said in Remus' ear.

He recognised that voice immediately without needing to turn around. A small smile stole over his face.

Dumbledore followed Remus' gaze and his eyes came to rest on the red-haired girl talking animatedly at the other end of the marquee. He darted a quick glance at the man next to him. "You're a lucky man, Remus," he remarked.

"I know, Albus," he exhaled softly, never taking his eyes off Tonks. "I really am."

"She loves you very much."

"And I her," Remus whispered.

Albus remained quiet.

They watched Tonks playfully push Charlie Weasley as he picked her up and twirled her around before depositing her unceremoniously on the ground once more.

"You've given her a wonderful day."

"She deserves a wonderful life," Remus replied, a little hollowly. The words were out of his mouth before he realised. He was suddenly mortified to realise that he had tears welling in his eyes.

Dumbledore turned away slightly and busied himself with a dessert plate, taking rather longer than was necessary to choose a cake to eat, as Remus hurriedly dried his eyes.

A few long moments passed by.

"Do you love her, Remus?"

If anyone else had asked that question, his answer would have been an indignant affirmative. But somehow all he could manage was "I - I want her to be happy".

Dumbledore's expression softened a little. "There's a difference between wanting someone to be happy and wanting to make someone happy."

Remus fixed his gaze on her, suddenly feeling unnerved. He tried to make his brain focus.... He enjoyed her company. He felt comfortable with her. She made him smile, and think about things, and laugh like no one else.... Wasn't that love?

Albus placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Do you love her?" he repeated softly.

Remus watched his wife shyly display her wedding ring to Ginny and saw the girl's eyes widen at the cluster of tiny diamonds. 'You're so lucky!' he saw Ginny mouth, and a blush tinged Tonks' cheeks. Remus set his jaw determinedly and straightened himself a little.

"Yes," he replied.

Dumbledore smiled a little sadly and gave Remus' shoulder one last squeeze. "Then I wish you well."

And with that the older wizard walked away. Remus stood alone, Dumbledore's words echoing in his mind....

Do you love her?

There's a difference between wanting someone to be happy and wanting to make someone happy....

Do you love her....

Tonks suddenly scanned the crowd and met his gaze. She smiled, a smile that lit up her entire face, and beckoned to him to come and join them.

Remus' expression softened and he nodded in agreement. He took a deep breath, and - raising a hand to straighten his tie - put his best foot forward.

To join her, and start the rest of his life.

---------------------------

ooooooooooo

----------------------------

This is new territory for me because I'm usually a HarryDraco writer, but I thought I'd give Remus and Sirius a go! It's a little slow moving in this first installment, but I just wanted to establish a few characters at the beginning. I'd love it if you let me know what you think of it so far!