I'll Try

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I'm not a child now
I can take care of myself
I mustn't let them down now
Mustn't let them see me cry
I'm fine, I'm fine

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Why?

Why does this always happen to me?

Why is my life so hard?

Why after all that has happened to me do they always treat me like a child?

I have fought Voldemort on numerous occasions and survived. I have fought the basilisk, giant spiders and I am still alive. But they still lock me away and tell me that I am too young to know and that I will be told when I am older.

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I'm too tired to listen

I'm too old to believe

All these childish stories
There is no such thing as

Faith and trust and pxie dust

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I have had enough! I don't want to be the Boy Who Lived. I want to be just plain Harry, not Potter or James and Lily's son, just Harry. I don't want to have people gawk at me as I walk down the street. I don't want to have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life hoping that I will make it through the day. I don't want to have to worry about my friends' lives and what knowing me may do to them.

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I try but it's so hard to believe
I try but I can't see what you see

I try, I try, I try

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I have tried and tried to live with the way my life is but I can't anymore. I don't want to have to live with the knowledge that all the people that have died in front of me because of Voldemort would still be alive if they had never known me. They would have lived out their lives happy and without worry. Their families wouldn't have had to grieve for the lost of a loved one.

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My whole world is changing

I don't know where to turn
I can leave you waiting

But I can't stay and watch the city burn

(Oh) watch it burn

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Ever since the first Hogwarts letter I ever received my life has changed usually for the worst. I had thought that my life at Hogwarts would solve all of my problems and that I would be happy. But sometimes I wish that it had never changed. I wish that I was still sleeping in my cupboard under the stairs at Number Four, Privet Drive, that I had no friends. That way there would be no one that could be hurt by me being around them.

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'Cause I try but it's so hard to believe
I try but I can't see what you see

I try, I try, I try

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I spent my years at the Dursleys' hoping that something would change. That my life was different that someone would come and take me away, and that someone would love me. But now I wish the opposite. I wish that I had never been born. That way no one would be hurt by me.

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I try and try to understand

The distance in between

The love I feel,
The things I fear

And every single dream

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I have tried to find a way to a way to protect everyone around me but it is impossible to help when I am not told what is happening when I am not in contact with the wizarding world in the holidays. I have also tried to work out why people put their trust in me. I am a worthless waste of space and oxygen. The world would be better off without me to make things harder for everyone.

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I can finally see it
Now I have to believe all those precious stories
The whole world is made of faith and trust and pixie dust

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Well maybe there is some reason that I am here. I must have some use. Even Neville has a use in this world. Everyone is good at something. If the world thinks that I will be the one to defeat Voldemort then so be it. I will do my best to complete the task that has been give to me or I will die trying to save the world.

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So I'll try because I finally believe
I'll try because I can see what you see
I'll try, I'll try, I'll try to fly.

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