Wascally Wabbits

Wascally Wabbits

The sixth years were in Transfiguration class, and Neville Longbottom looked frustrated, which was his usual state. "I can't do this!"

Hermione Granger looked at him across the desk. "It's easy, Neville. Lagomorphia leporidae. And snap your wand very sharply as you do it." She pointed her wand at the ceramic vase in front of her and spoke firmly. The vase shimmered, and turned into a lop-eared rabbit.

"Look, everyone! Miss Granger has done it. Five points to Gryffindor!" Professor McGonagall said. "The rest of you will have to try again tomorrow. It's almost time for the bell to ring."

"Thank Merlin," Draco Malfoy drawled, from his seat behind Hermione. "The mudblood showing off was about to turn my stomach...again." Harry and Ron, who were sitting across from Hermione and Neville, both scowled.

"I thought I warned you never to call her that again, Malfoy!" Harry snapped.

"Go get shagged, Potter," Malfoy answered, twirling his wand casually in his hand.

"Why don't you? It would be probably be a new experience for you," Harry answered.

Ron laughed. Draco looked furious. "Look who's talking, Weasley. You couldn't get some if you broke in and stripped at a Lockhart fan club meeting."

"That's enough!" Hermione snarled. "Honestly, Malfoy. Do you realize how much I dislike you?"

"About as much as I dislike you?" Draco answered, over the ringing bell. Neville got up, preoccupied by his lack of talent in transfiguration and left with the rest of the class, but his three Gryffindor friends continued to trade insults with Malfoy, until McGonagall swooped down on them.

"I've had just about enough from all of you! I need to go to a meeting with the headmaster." Muttering under her breath, she pointed her wand at the lop-eared rabbit and it became a vase once more. "You four will stay here and put ALL of the vases back on those boxes on my desk. And no more arguments!" Rolling her eyes, she left the room.

"Thanks a lot, Malfoy! Now we'll be late for lunch!" Ron complained.

"Oh, Ron, is that all you care about?" Hermione said, exasperated. "I wanted to get finished with lunch early so I could go to the library!"

Harry intervened. "Let's just put the damned vases away, and get it over with." He grabbed two and carried them up to their teacher's desk. Ron sighed, picked up two more and followed him.

Draco leaned over to pick up his own vase, but couldn't resist giving Hermione one more smirk. "Still got a thing for Lockhart, Granger?"

"Oh, bite me, Malfoy."

"You wish."

"No, you wish," said Hermione.

"Like I'd wish for a date with a flobberworm. Come to think of it, even that would be better than snogging you."

Crack! Ron and Harry looked back just in time to see Hermione slap Malfoy right across the face. She would have done it twice if he had not caught hold of her arm.

"Let go of me!' Hermione said with enough venom to melt a cauldron.

"You pathetic little brat! That's the last time you're going to do that! Do you hear me?"

"She said to let her go!" Ron bellowed, dropping the vase he was holding. It shattered into at least a dozen pieces at his feet. Harry sighed and cast the spell to repair it. When he looked back up, Ron was charging Malfoy, wand extended. "Lagomorphia leporidae!"

"Ron, no!" shrieked Hermione, trying to pull her wrist out of Malfoy's grip, but it was too late. Harry and Ron watched in horror as a swirl of white light surrounded Draco and Hermione. The light vanished, leaving two piles of clothing on the ground.

"Oh, that was brilliant, Ron," Harry said, rushing forward. Ron followed him, horrified. The pile of clothing quivered and they began to pull it apart. "Eeewww!" Harry gingerly picked up a pair of black silk boxer shorts by the waistband to find a large white rabbit looking up at him. "Well, I hope he makes a better rabbit than he did a ferret."

Fishing around in the pile, Ron pushed aside a white bra to find a brown rabbit looking up as well. The rabbit's nose was twitching with what almost looked like anger. "Oh, no!" Ron moaned. "I am so dead! This spell isn't supposed to be used for human transformations. I just said the first thing that came into my head."

"We have to go get McGonagall. She can transfigure anything. She'll be able to sort them out," Harry said practically.

"We can't just leave them here like this!" Ron answered, still staring at the brown rabbit, which was glaring back at him in a not very rabbit-like way.

"We can put them into the boxes the vases were supposed to go in. Then they won't get hurt or hop off anywhere." Harry gingerly picked up the white rabbit at his feet. "Ouch!"

"What happened?" Ron asked anxiously, holding the brown rabbit carefully in his arms.

"He bit me!" Harry said, staring at his bleeding finger.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ron answered. He put the brown rabbit into one of the boxes on McGonagall's desk and Harry put the white rabbit into another. They then rushed off toward the headmaster's office to break up his meeting with their head of house.

Silence permeated the room, until a small voice came through the doorway. "Hey? Is anyone still here? You've missed lunch. Where did you all go?" Neville Longbottom frowned, then heard a scratching noise coming from the front of the room. He went and looked over the tops of the boxes. "More rabbits? I thought Hermione was the only one who did that spell correctly." He picked up the brown rabbit and began to pet it. "I just can't do anything right," Neville sighed. He gave the rabbit one last pat, and dropping it into the box with the white one, left the room.

The female rabbit looked over her shoulder at the male. The male sat there for only a minute or two, and then pounced, mounting the female. A few moments later, the male fell off, righted itself, and then climbed on top of her again.

The classroom door opened, and Professor McGonagall entered, hissing with exasperation. "Honestly, Mr. Weasley, if you boys don't learn to control your tempers, I don't know what..."

She reached her desk and gave a squeak of surprise. "I thought you said you put them in different boxes!"

"We did!" Ron replied, then got a look inside the box. "Oh, that is so disgusting!"

"What is?" Harry asked. "And why is Bunnicula making so much noise?" Looking around Ron's shoulder, he saw what the rabbits were doing and his eyes widened, a blush staining his cheeks.

"Out!" Professor McGonagall said firmly.

"Whhhhaaa?" Ron looked at her as if she'd gone bonkers.

"Do you really WANT to be in here when I change them back?"

Both boys looked at each other, turned and quicky walked out of the room. McGonagall positioned herself just outside the open door pointed her wand through it, and said, "Lepus finite."

Harry and Ron blinked as a wave of white light lit up the doorway. As a furious shriek split their ears, they both ran like hell, and with a shake of her head, Professor McGonagall followed them. This was something Malfoy and Granger would have to deal with on their own, in their own way, for the time being. They'd have to discuss it later.

Hermione had just found herself lying naked on the floor of the transfiguration classroom, next to a couple of empty boxes and an equally naked Draco Malfoy. "What in the hell did you think you were doing!"

Draco frowned. "Oh, I don't believe this. This is absolutely ridiculous! Why did it have to be rabbits?"

Hermione sat up wincing. "I'm going to have your wand for this Malfoy! You molesting, miserable..."

"I did not molest you!" Draco said furiously. "I was a bloody rabbit for Salazar's sake! That's what rabbits do! I didn't see you trying to fight nature. This whole thing was just a stupid mistake. It's that git Longbottom's fault if anyone! When I get my hands on him I'm going to kill him! I will kill him with my bare hands! I swear it! I won't even need a wand."

"Nooooo!" Hermione said horrified. "He doesn't know. You can't tell him! No one else can know!"

"Oh, like Potty and the Weasel are going to keep quiet about this one!"

"They had better!" Hermione crawled over to her clothes and started pulling them on with shaking hands. "I will curse them into oblivion if they say a single word!" She accidentally picked up Malfoy's boxers while she was looking for her blouse and she threw them at him, horrified. "Will you get dressed? Seeing you with no clothes on is making me nauseous. I just want this whole thing over so I can forget it."

"You and me both, Granger. This isn't exactly something I want to press in my book of memories, either." He pulled the boxers on and began to search through the pile of clothes for his trousers.

"If they say one word to anyone, I will curse them into oblivion," Hermine repeated. "If I have to, I will hit them with the biggest memory charm in the history of the world."

"Well," Malfoy drawled, zipping up, "if anyone could, you could. You ARE a damned powerful witch, Granger, even if it kills me to admit it."

Hermione was trying to button her blouse, but her hands were still shaking too hard. She stared at him. "Then why are you finally admitting it?"

"Because it's true. Will you tell me the truth about something now?" He spoke casually, but watched her carefully, his gray eyes alert.

She looked at him confused, expecting a dirty comment. "What?"

"Is the Dark Lord really a half blood?"

Hermione was too stunned for a moment to speak. Why was he bringing this up now? She began buttoning her blouse again so she wouldn't have to look him in the eye. "Yes, Draco, the Dark Lord is really a half blood. His father was a muggle and his mother was a witch. Why do you ask?"

Draco shrugged and started to pull on his shirt. "Just something I've been thinking about...since my father went to Azkaban. I've been thinking a lot, you see, and...oh, never mind."

Hermione noticed him looking at his arm, and a rush of understanding came over her. "Draco, you don't want to take the dark mark, do you?"

He looked at her and shrugged. "Do you think I have a choice?"

"Maybe you do. I'll even help you if you want." Hermione tugged her jumper over her head and began to tie her tie. "I have a feeling we're going to have to see Dumbledore eventually. Ron is going to be in so much trouble! McGonagall will have to tell Dumbledore about...well, you know. When we do, maybe we should talk to him about what the Death Eaters have told you. I'd certainly rather talk about that than this."

Draco thought for a moment, then sighed. "Sod it all. I'm not looking forward to talking about either of those things, but I'll do it. I'm not making any promises, mind you." He got up and ran his hand through his shining blonde hair. "Do you really think I have a choice?"

"Yeah, I think maybe you do." Hermione smiled as he extended his hand to help her up. "I really think we can work something out."

"Too bad we missed lunch," said Draco, his hand on her elbow as they walked toward the door. "I'm starved."

"We could go down to the kitchens," Hermione offered. "The house elves would give us anything to eat that we want."

"House elves? You're friends with house elves, too?" Draco shook his head. "I should have known."

"And what DO you know about house elves, Draco?"

"Not much, I'll admit, considering I've been around them all my life," Draco admitted

"Then I've got a lot to tell you," Hermione said firmly, as she led him down the hall.

THE END.