Of Girls and Goddesses

Of Girls and Goddesses

Chapter VIII

A few days after his meeting with Dumbledore and Croaker, Harry found himself headed toward Croaker's office after dinner. Halfway there he ran into Luna.

"You're going to see Croaker, too?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Yes," Luna answered. "Professor Flitwick told me Professor Croaker wanted to see me, and that the headmaster had told him that it was very important. Professor Flitwick looked rather worried, poor man! He said we were going to talk about a way to help you. Professor Flitwick should not have worried. I would do anything to help you, Harry, and I'm not worried. Is this about your dream?"

"Yes, if that's what it really was." Harry didn't say anymore, unsure of what to tell her, but as usual, she didn't question him further.

When Remus Lupin had used this office, it had always been filled with weird things that Lupin was preparing to use in his lessons, a great improvement over the endless pictures of Lockhart himself, that the previous Dark Arts teacher had decorated it with. When the fake Moody had used it, it had been filled with Dark Detectors. Now there was a large assortment of statues, books, and amulets from various eras in history. There were candles of every color, and the room smelled strongly of incense. It was not cloying and sweet, like the incense Trelawney used in her fire. The smell was heavy in the room, and somehow mysterious.

"Thank you for coming," Croaker said, as they came in. He was wearing a very old and faded pair of muggle jeans, and a navy blue sweatshirt that had "Field Museum of Natural History, Chicago, Illinois" printed across the front of it.

"Why do you always wear muggle clothes?" Luna asked with interest. "Nearly every wizard I know wears them some of the time, but I don't know any wizard except you that wears them all of the time."

Croaker's blue eyes twinkled. "Because I'm used to them, they're comfortable to me, and they hack off all the right people," he answered.

Harry grinned. He was beginning to like Professor Croaker more and more each day. "What is that?" Harry asked, looking at the smoke drifting from the elaborate incense burner.

"What you smell is an incense common in ancient Egypt. It contains myrrh, sandalwood orris, and frankincense. I have some Malmsey here. It is a maderia dessert wine. The original grape stock came from Egypt and both the incense and the wine may help you get in the right state of mind for what we have to do. I would like you to taste it, but you don't have to drink it if you don't like it, and indeed, should not drink too much of it. One glass should suffice. Professor Dumbledore wants us to have a serious discussion, not a party. Please sit."

He had arranged three comfortable chairs on a brilliantly woven carpet that Harry strongly suspected was a flying carpet that had been disabled somehow. They were all facing each other, and Harry and Luna accepted the glasses he offered them. Harry didn't know much about wine, but he found this one tasted wonderful.

"Now, Miss Lovegood, I took the liberty of requesting some information about you from your other teachers, especially concerning your skill with ancient runes. According to what I've seen, you are average at Greek, Latin and Aramaic. You were average when it came to translating Viking runes, until this year, when you showed a marked improvement."

"I spent part of last summer in Sweden," Luna told him. "I did quite a bit of on-site translation, which helped me to improve."

"Ah, well, that explains that. You have always, I see, been exceptional at reading Egyptian writing, from every period presented."

Luna considered this. "For some reason, it just comes easily to me. I'm drawn to it whenever I see it. It seems to speak to me, in a very personal way. Perhaps it is because I find hieroglyphics beautiful. There's a lot of logic to the pictures chosen to represent the sounds as well."

"In checking your grades in History of Magic, I found you to score very highly when Egyptian history is discussed. You did exceptionally well, for instance, when Professor Binns asked the students in your class to name specific gods and goddesses, based on short descriptions."

"I picture them in my mind," said Luna, sipping her wine. "When we listen to stories about what they did, I picture them in my mind, and imagine them speaking."

Croaker looked interested. "Do you ever imagine them speaking to you?"

"How did you know that?" Luna looked surprised. "How on earth did you know that?"

Croaker set down his wineglass, leaned back in his chair, and put the tips of his long fingers together. "Professor Dumbledore and I think they might actually BE speaking to you. The great witches of Egypt arranged for their power to be passed down through the ages. Occasionally a witch finds herself in communion with them. I think you may be one of those rare witches. I think you are destined to be part of the Circle of Isis. It would explain your ease with the material, your fondness for the language, and your appearance in Harry's dream, in connection with the scroll of Thoth."

"Aren't you at all afraid that Voldemort will find out where the scroll is and decide to come after you?" Harry asked.

"If Voldemort confronts anyone who knows where the scroll is, they have been instructed to tell him that Dumbledore and I took possession of it," Croaker said smoothly. "I don't want anyone else to die during his search for it. He will no doubt be furious, but I don't think he'll come charging up to Hogwarts to try to force it away from the headmaster and myself. I don't wish to be immodest, but I can think of no two names that would more upset Voldemort's peace of mind than Dumbledore's combined with mine."

"Dumbledore's power is the only power he has ever feared, and you are the only wizard alive whose strength in the Dark Arts comes close to matching his own," Luna said simply.

Croaker looked at her, impressed by her insight. "I have a great deal of knowledge of the dark arts, but I have never used the majority of it, nor even attempted to," Croaker told Harry and Luna frankly. "If I did I fear that I would be tempted to continue to use it, and it would overpower me. That is why I left Durmstrang. It was not a healthy environment for me, particularly after Karkaroff came. It's the same reasoning that keeps Professor Dumbledore from giving the Dark Arts job to Severus Snape. He would be put under too much stress in that situation."

"Wait a minute!" Harry said, sitting up quite straight in his comfortable chair. "I can sometimes sense flashes of Voldemort's emotion. When I had the dream, I woke up with my scar hurting. Could he have discovered then that you and Dumbledore were working together to keep him from the scroll? That would have made him furious. You said so yourself."

"That is possible. I would say, probable," Croaker said, sounding very much like Dumbledore in that moment, "but I think somehow there has to be more to it."

He turned to Luna. "If you have Isis power, she may be working through you to help protect the scroll. She may not know it herself yet, from wherever her spirit rests, but that is why the ancient Egyptians believed Ra created magic in the first place, you know. He was supposedly tired of the gods having to be everywhere. They were too busy to do everything. So he made magic, and sent it out to certain humans that he deemed worthy. He gave them heka, or magical powers, so they could handle some of the things the gods used to have to do."

Do you actually believe that?" Harry asked dubiously.

"Let's just say I can't disprove it, and I believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that certain ancient Egyptians had tremendous magical powers." He turned to Luna again. "In class, or out of it, have you ever had an experience where you were talking about Egypt, and it seemed as if someone else were telling you what to say?"

"Not that I know of," Luna started to say, but Harry interrupted her.

"Yes, I think you did. Remember when you were arguing with Hermione and you recited that poem about the gods not being forgotten? When you finished, you looked a little confused, as if that had not been what you meant to say."

"Hermione Granger? She's a brilliant little witch, if I ever saw one. What kind of an argument was it?" Croaker asked, interested in what sort of discussion could have led Luna, who was normally very passive, to confront someone as determined as Hermione.

"Hermione doesn't believe in gods, or goddesses, or that the scroll of Thoth really has power, " Luna said sadly.

"She doesn't believe anything that can't be proven," Harry clarified. "She has to see something to believe it."

"You mean she doesn't believe in anything that doesn't swim up and grab her by the ankle like a grindylow!" Luna contradicted him sharply.

"Oh, Merlin!" Croaker exclaimed. "And you went out with this girl, Harry? I heard she used to be your girlfriend. Your life must have frustrated her considerably."

"I never went out with Hermione Granger," Harry said, exasperated once again at how far this bit of inaccurate gossip had spread. "She's a good friend, and if I needed research done, or logical help, there'd be no one better for me to ask than Hermione, but she is not my girlfriend and she never was. That was just Rita Skeeter making things up."

Luna smiled slightly when Harry said this. "Anyway, where do I come into all of this? What do I have to do now?"

"Do you know how to meditate?"

"Yes, I've studied it a little," she replied.

"I want you to try and reach out with your heart and your mind, and see if you can build a bridge to ancient Egypt for us. I must warn you, it will take enormous energy. This sort of attempt can be risky, but if you can manage it, it will confirm what we suspect, that you are channeling some of that power. Harry and I will help you. Are you willing to do this for us?"

"It sounds like an amazing adventure," Luna admitted, "and if it means that I'll be able to find a way to help Harry, of course I'll try."

Croaker got up and set a small round table in the center of the rug their chairs sat on. With a wave of his wand, he put out all the lights except for a candle on the table. He placed a small statue of an Egyptian woman on the table that Harry assumed was Isis, as well as a smooth stone.

"This is azurite," Professor Croaker told Harry and Luna. "It is often connected to Isis. I will open the circle. When I have done so, Miss Lovegood, you must ask the lady to be present. Begin breathing to the count of four...in, two, three four, then out, two, three, four. When you have established a rhythm, add words. Try picturing Isis, and chanting, 'Loving Lady, teach me of thee' and listen for an answer in your head. Don't worry if you don't get one. It takes patience. You should visualize the goddess in the middle of the circle. If you do feel some kind of presence, stop chanting, and in your mind, ask Isis what she wants you to know."

"This is so weird," Harry whispered doubtfully to Luna. She gave him a look of pity.

"Open your mind to possibilities, Harry," Luna whispered back.

Croaker cast the circle by calling upon the sky, earth, sea and air, asking for wisdom. A circle of white light appeared around them and he asked it to be a boundary, protecting them. Luna closed her eyes and began to chant as she had been instructed to do. She suddenly stopped chanting, and her expression looked puzzled. She opened her eyes and looked at Croaker.

"I felt a tension, like thunder in the air, but it was suddenly gone. I had the feeling someone knew I was there, but I was just in the background. Their attention was elsewhere. I feel better, somehow, less confused about what I was trying to do, but I don't think I achieved anything. I'm sorry."

The white circle faded, and Croaker turned on the lights and blew out the candle on the table.

Luna, looking a bit dazed, started to stand, but he told her to remain seated for awhile. "I did not expect you to succeed on your first try. You have nothing to apologize for. Think of it this way. We are asking a perfect stranger for help. Even if she is sympathetic toward you, she may not have time right now, or she may wish to know you better before she gets involved. It just may not be the right time for her to connect with you." He picked up his wineglass, and settled himself comfortably in his chair, sipping his wine, as if it were an ordinary evening visit with friends.

"It took me several tries to conjure a patronus," Harry told Luna. "I just kept trying, and eventually I got it."

They began to talk about the difficulties of various charms and spells, and Harry wound up having a very pleasant evening, even if he didn't think it had accomplished much. When it was time to go, Croaker looked from Luna to Harry.

"I would like to try again, soon. Would tomorrow night be all right?"

"Harry has Quidditch practice tomorrow. He's a very talented seeker, but it's still very important that he train, if Gryffindor is to beat Slytherin in the next match. How about the next day?" Luna answered.

"Yeah," Harry said, grateful to Luna. "Saturday would be fine."

"Then come after lunch on Saturday," Croaker said, and let the two teens out of his office.

"Thanks for trying, Luna," Harry said sincerely, as they walked down the hall hand in hand.

"I am always trying," Luna answered, before letting go of his hand and turning down the hall to Ravenclaw tower.

When Harry went to bed, his mind was filled with thoughts of Egypt. He even dreamed of Egypt. He dreamed he was wearing a white Egyptian kilt like the ones he'd seen on the guardian statues. He was standing in a palace made of some kind of white stone. Smooth stone steps led down to a pool of water. He went down the steps and saw that Luna was sitting by the pool, wearing a dress of white Egyptian linen, and sandals made of gold. When she saw him coming, she stood up laughing, and ran to him, throwing her arms around him. He held her close, and looked past her, back at the pool. Four other women had appeared and were now sitting beside it. They had black hair and black eyes rimmed with kohl. They seemed to be talking seriously together, but Harry couldn't hear what they were saying, and they did not seem to see him. Harry tried to get a better look at them, but Luna put her hand up and touched his cheek, turning his face toward hers.

"They are only spirits of what has been, and these spirits are preoccupied. They are not aware of us, yet," Luna said softly, then pressed her mouth to his.

Harry woke up just as the dream Luna kissed him, and sat up in his bed, stunned and embarrassed. He thought he could still smell incense and seemed to have the taste of sweet wine in his mouth again.

"Well, that was weird," he muttered to himself, before settling back in bed. In the morning, however, he had completely forgotten the dream.

When Harry and Luna arrived at Professor Croaker's office on Saturday afternoon, everything started out the same as it had on Thursday night. First hey all took a little time to relax. Then Croaker cast the circle, as he had done before. Luna began the chant he had taught her, and she was at it for so long, that Harry was beginning to think the whole experiment was a failure. The now familiar wine and incense had made him vaguely remember his dream, although it was still sort of hazy in his mind, and he was feeling rather uneasy.

Then, quite suddenly, Luna stopped chanting, and began to twitch. Harry, who had been watching her very carefully, sat up straight, and would have risen to go to her, if Croaker had not held up his hand as a warning.

Luna's eyes opened as widely as possible, which was considerable, since she had wide, expressive eyes to begin with. She seemed to be staring at something in the center of the circle. "Bennu," Luna murmured. Then her eyes moved slightly to the right, and, cocking her head, she murmured the name Astet.

Luna seemed to be listening, but after a long moment, she began to twitch again, and suddenly slid off her chair onto the floor.

When that happened, nothing could have stopped Harry from going to her. He sprang up with a strangled cry, and fell on his knees at her side. Her eyes were closed, but to his relief, she felt warm and was definitely breathing. Harry gathered Luna up in his arms and held her tightly as Professor Croaker quickly vanished the circle and called up the lights.

Harry looked up, horrified. "What happened. Is she all right? What does 'Bennu' mean? Did someone attack her?"

Croaker squatted beside Harry, looking intently at Luna. "Bennu is the ancient Egyptian name for a phoenix. Does that mean anything to you?"

"Phoenix song is special tome," Harry said wildly. "Whenever I've been in the most danger, I've heard it and it's given me strength. It's the sound I connect with Dumbledore, and the core of my wand is a phoenix feather, but I've never seen a phoenix hurt anyone!"

Croaker ran his hand across Luna's pale forehead. "I don't think she has been seriously harmed. It was just too much for her. It sounded like she saw Isis with a phoenix. Perhaps they were discussing the scroll and the lady suspects something about you and Voldemort. I'm positive at least that Luna went back to ancient Egypt, but it was too fast and too far, and when Isis became aware of Luna, it must have been an even greater shock."

He rocked back on his heels, disgusted with himself. "It's all my fault. I should have anticipated this! Of course this would be debilitating for such a young woman to do, no matter how willing or how determined. I went with the easiest way, but I should have known better! Call her, Harry. Try to help her back. Keep calling her. I'm sure she will listen to you, if she can."

Harry cradled Luna's limp body on his lap, and began to repeat her name, desperately, over and over. He couldn't help it...tears began to form in his eyes. Had he caused someone else, who wanted only to help him, to be harmed? And all for a stupid dream! A tear fell and splashed on her face, and Luna's eyes slowly opened, but they were out of focus.

"Luna, please come back," Harry begged her once more. "I need you."

"Ami ab," she whispered, and then shook her head, slowly, as if to clear it. When she had done this, she looked at Harry, and to his relief, she recognized him, and struggled to sit up.

"Oh, Harry!" Luna said, surprising him with her enthusiasm. "It was so beautiful. I wish you could have seen it. I was really in ancient Egypt! I was standing by the Nile, and it was so broad and full. There were tall palm trees beside it, and the sun was bright and so warm! I saw fishermen casting their nets into the river. They were singing as they worked, and the workers in the barley field nearby were singing, too. It was so lovely."

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time, Luna," Harry said, his voice shaky, "but you scared me nearly to death!"

Luna was now able to sit up completely on her own, and she looked at Croaker, who seemed to be tremendously relieved. "I saw her! I saw the lady but I can't describe her. I could never do her justice. I didn't get to ask her anything, though. Can I try again?"

"No, you may certainly not," Croaker said. "You're going to go straight to the hospital wing, where you can get lots of rest. This isn't the right way to proceed. I can see that now. I'm so sorry, Luna. I still think you have Isis powers, but she will come to you when she is ready. You're not to try to contact her again! Do you hear me, young lady?"

Luna protested all the way there that she was fine, but Harry and Professor Croaker managed to coax her to the hospital wing, where Croaker, had a quick discussion with Madam Pomfrey, who did not seem pleased with him. Whatever they said, it resulted in the nurse whisking Luna away for a quick exam, and left Professor Croaker with the familiar look of someone who had been thoroughly chastised by the formidable witch.

Harry and Professor Croaker waited outside while the nurse finished with Luna and got her into bed. Harry was extraordinarily relieved that they were not going to try anything like that again. This kind of power was beyond his understanding, and the idea that Luna's gentle spirit had gone so far away frightened him. Suddenly, he remembered something.

"Professor Croaker, can I ask you a question?"

"Certainly, Harry."

"When Luna first came back from wherever she was, I heard her say something. What does 'ami ab' mean?"

Croaker hesitated for so long that Harry was afraid that he was not going to answer, and Harry began to fear that Luna had seen something bad that she was not telling him about. He was just trying to decide where to look to translate the words himself (certainly Hermione would have some suggestions!) when Croaker did finally answer.

"It's a phrase used to refer to a male that you totally trust, someone who is in your heart. The feminine form is 'amit ab'. You have a good friend in there, Harry. I hope you appreciate her."

Harry blushed a bit, but before he could answer, Madam Pomfrey returned, still looking grumpy. "Miss Lovegood is asking for you, Mr. Potter. You can go in and sit for awhile, but don't let her get too agitated. She seems to be fine, but I think it would do her good to rest. I'm going to keep her here for the rest of the weekend at least." She glared at Professor Croaker, and walked away rolling her eyes and muttering. "What next? I swear I never know what I'm going to see next around here. They don't need a nurse. They need a ruddy zookeeper!"

Croaker watched from the doorway as Harry sped into the hospital wing to Luna's bedside, and took her hand.

"Ami ab," Croaker whispered slowly, knowing full well that Harry could no longer hear him, "means 'one who is in the heart', or 'trusted one', but it also means 'darling'."

With a shake of his head, and a small smile, he went back to his office to put away everything he had used for the circle. This situation was definitely one that had to be left to the gods.