Dreams

Words

Bugger, Blaise groaned in annoyance.

The breeze from the lake coursed past him, causing him to shiver beneath his warm cloak and scarf. He could feel his ears and nose turning red from the cold air, but the elements didn't bother him at all. For his thoughts were focused on Hermione, as they had been since the beginning of the school year.

All day, his had mulled over Hermione's reaction to the diary and the quill. His self-preserving instinct insisted that he ignore her and leave her alone, while a quieter inner voice urged him to seek her out. Blaise decided to listen to that silent urging and had searched for her after classes were over. Unfortunately, she wasn't at her normal haunt in the library nor was she in their common room. He had almost stormed the stairs to the Gryffindor common room, but checked himself just in time. Frustration and nervousness churned in his stomach as the hours slowly dragged by; finally, he grabbed his cloak and stomped out onto the grounds, hoping to sort out his feelings before dinner.

He hadn't made much headway in the hour and a half that he had been outside. He knew that he was dying to tell her how he felt, but he was too afraid of the repercussions. What if she laughs in my face and completely rejects me for being a Slytherin? She's bound to think that I'm simply toying with her... He kicked at a stone in his path, upset with his heart and the entire situation. I just had to fall for a Gryffindor!

"Zabini!"

Not that poncy brat again... Blaise rolled his eyes, sorely tempted to cast an Unforgivable at Malfoy for the interruption; He turned and shot the other boy a cold look. "What is it, Malfoy?' he inquired with a long-suffering sigh.

Malfoy panted as he reached Blaise, his shallow breaths nearly crystallizing in the frigid air. He was walking very fast, never heeding the wind as it tousled his normally-perfect blond hair and set his robes askew. He slowed to a stop when he reached Blaise, staring at the Head Boy speculatively for a few moments. Blaise glared back with icy blue eyes and a frown to match.

Suddenly, Malfoy shuddered involuntarily as a gust of wind whipped past him. "What the bloody hell are you doing out here?" he demanded.

Blaise smirked and taunted, "What's wrong, Malfoy? Can't handle a bit of wind?"

"A bit of wind?" Malfoy nearly screeched incredulously. "It's effing freezing out here!"

Blaise shrugged nonchalantly, even though he privately agreed. I've been so wrapped up in her that I haven't even paid attention to the weather. "I came out here to think," he replied stiffly.

Malfoy looked at him for a brief moment, as though fighting inwardly. Once he had visibly come to a decision, he asked, "Mind if I join you?"

WHAT? Blasie screamed inwardly. Instead, he sneered, "Yes."

Malfoy looked momentarily nonplussed; the brat's probably never been refused before, Blaise mused. "I came out here for privacy. You're obviously too daft to see that," Blaise explained in his best condescending tone as he turned away.

He walked away a few paces and sighed with relief as he began brooding again.

"Wait!"

Clenching his fists within his pockets, Blaise whirled around and shouted, "Now what?"

Malfoy came closer to him, looking everywhere instead of his face. Oh, my, Blaise smirked inwardly The git doesn't know what to do... probably for the first time of his bloody existence. "I- I don't have anyone else to talk to. Crabbe and Goyle are idiots, and... well, no one else in Slytherin can carry a conversation properly." His grey eyes were practically pleading, or as close to pleading as a Malfoy can get, when he finished.

Against his will, Blaise felt his features soften into pity. The ponce is right, he conceded. No one in Slytherin makes for good company, which is why I love Hermione so much... Startled by the intensity of his feelings for Hermione, Blaise cleared his throat nervously and tried to stop thinking about her. "All right then," he conceded. "What is it that you so desperately need to discuss?"

For a moment, Malfoy looked as happy as a child on Christmas morning, but he schooled his features into a cool mask. "Let's walk, shall we?" he invited solicitously.

Blaise nodded cordially, and they began to walk side-by-side in silence. The entire time, Blaise stole suspicious glances at Malfoy from the corner of his eyes. I shouldn't have agreed to this. His father's a Death Eater, and he's practically on his way to becoming one. What if he's leading me to an ambush, where they'll force me to become a Death Eater? What if I let slip what my opinions are and he tells his father? What if I tell him how I feel about Hermione? Blaise sighed inwardly to himself. I should start keeping a bloody journal, myself. There's no one that I can talk to about all of this... and it would be nice to just get it off of my chest for once.

They continued onwards until they reached a small copse of trees. Blaise stopped but Malfoy heedlessly walked on, towards the center shaded by dark boughs. "It's safer in here," he called over his shoulder

Blaise whipped out his wand and pointed it at Draco's back. There's no way in bloody hell I'm following him in there. It's obviously an ambush! "Accio wand," Blaise whispered, and Malfoy's wand flew out of his pocket and into Blaise's hand.

Malfoy turned around when he felt his wand leaving, and his eyes widened when he found himself staring at the business end of Blaise's wand. "Zabini?" he asked faintly.

With a cold voice, Blaise replied, "We are going to stand out here, not in there," he gestured to the trees. "So, start talking."

Malfoy gulped visibly, and said in a wavering voice, "Cast a Silencing Charm around us, will you?" while still staring at Blaise's wand.

Blaise complied with a quick flick of his wrist then resumed his aim on Draco. "Well?" he prompted.

Malfoy nervously raked his hand through his hair. "I'd, err, feel better if we were under an oath, too."

Blaise glared at him. An oath? What's so bloody important that it requires an oath? But he merely shrugged and gave Malfoy his wand. Malfoy took it eagerly, and both boys touched the tips of their wands together. A blue vapor shot out from the union and spread to encircle both Blaise and Malfoy.

"Get on with it, then," Blaise said irritably, as he kept his wand in contact with Draco's. I can't believe I agreed to this.

Malfoy's eyes returned to their cool blankness as he stared straight at Blaise. "Tell me, Zabini," he began conversationally. "What's your opinion of the Dark Lord?"

I knew it! Blaise thought as his heart sank. "That is none of your concern," he returned icily.

"You do realize that I can't reveal any information that's under oath, right?" Malfoy smirked. Blaise continued to stare at him blankly, so the blonde shrugged and stated, "Well, I'm not the most loyal follower of Voldemort." He paused and continued, "In fact, once I'm initiated, I intend to become a spy for Dumbledore."

Despite Blaise's attempts to control his emotions, his jaw dropped open. He can't be serious! "Why in Merlin's name would you want to do something that dangerous?" he blurted out.

Malfoy smiled wryly as he observed Blaise's expression. "I knew you weren't too fond of the Dark Lord," he muttered to himself. In a slightly louder tone, he replied, "It's dangerous, but I can't think of a way to refuse joining the Death Eaters and remain alive. So, if I have to join, at least I'll be saving my conscience and future this way."

Typical Slytherin, Blaise thought with an inward grin. He couldn't help but be a little proud of Malfoy for taking the initiative to make a stand. Suddenly, he wondered, Is he trying to lure something out of me? "Why are you telling me this?"

Shrugging lazily, Malfoy replied, "I told you; I needed someone to talk to." He paused and explained, "I figured that since you fancy Granger and all, you'd at least understand-"

He was cut off when Blaise grabbed him by the collar and glared at him threateningly. How in Merlin's name did he know? Blaise's mind screamed. He looked Malfoy in the eye and gritted out, "I don't feel anything for Granger."

Despite the circumstances, Malfoy found that statement amusing and snorted in reply. "Oh? Just like I don't feel anything for the Weaselette?"

Blaise's fingers went numb, while his brain conjured up a shadowy image of a girl with fiery red hair. Did he just say what I thought he said? "Weasley? As in, Ginny Weasley?" Blaise asked with amazement. He immediately released his grip on Malfoy.

Malfoy stepped back and straightened his shoulders. "You heard me," he stated flatly. "I even told you that without the oath," he added, looking at Blaise's wand pointedly.

Looking down, Blaise saw that Malfoy was right; their wands were no longer touching, which meant that the oath had been completed before. We must have lost contact when I grabbed him... he mulled.

An uncomfortable cough brought Blaise from his reverie. Both boys stared at each other for a moment before Malfoy whispered, "Neither of your families are enemies. You're both Head Boy and Head Girl. You even get along." He paused, and continued painfully, "It's a better chance than any, don't you think?" Without waiting for a reply, Malfoy swiftly turned around and marched off.

Blaise stared at the back of Malfoy's head as the blond boy made his way to the castle. He's completely right, Blaise berated himself. Compared to what he's going through, I have nothing to worry about with Hermione. He grinned at his own stupidity, and made his way to the castle. I have to tell her how I feel, tonight.

As he strode purposefully to his room, a small part of him went out to Draco in pity and understanding. Blaise couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he knew that something had changed between him and Malfoy; he suddenly felt some appreciation for the blond git. Shaking off his warm feelings, he turned his thoughts from that memorable conversation to the beautiful witch he loved.

~*~

Hermione trudged back to her room tiredly. She had spent all day with Harry and Ron, off on one of their ridiculous quests. For some reason, both boys had gotten it into their heads that Malfoy was acting unlike himself. And if Malfoy isn't being himself, Hermione thought mockingly, then all is not right with the world. They had tried following him, but he seemed to disappear occasionally. In fact, they couldn't find him at all after four o'clock.

After some fruitless searching, Harry remembered the Marauders' Map. Once they had activated the parchment, they discovered that he was near the lake, talking to none other than the Head Boy, Blaise Zabini. Harry and Ron had gone back and forth for half an hour, wondering just what those two were doing together. Hermione, on the other hand, had a sinking feeling that she knew what they were discussing. The diary must have come from Malfoy, just as Ginny's came from his father. Zabini is probably meeting with him to discuss their plans for me. As Hermione thought about it, she grew angrier. Who do they think they are? she raged inwardly. I am not some THING that can be used and played with! I'm a human with feelings! I can hurt and bleed, just as those two purebloods can. Don't they see that?

Once Malfoy began walking back to the castle, Harry and Ron got up to continue tailing him. Hermione was too upset over Zabini and Malfoy to think straight; pleading a headache, she returned to her room for a nap. Once she had reached her and Zabini's common room, she plopped herself down on the couch before the fire.

She continued to fume about her new diary as she stared absentmindedly into the flickering flames. Hit with a sudden inspiration, she decided, that disgusting book should be burned! She opened her bag and drew out the book; she hefted it in her hands, watching as the firelight turned the cover into a glowing deep red. Hermione lost the desire to follow through with her destructive impulse as she gazed down at the beautiful leather cover. Even if it's enchanted, it's too beautiful to ruin, she thought with a heavy heart. She opened the book to the first page and looked at the inside cover. I am going to have some words with Zabini over this, she frowned as she traced the words Follow your dreams with her fingers. With a sigh, Hermione finally closed the book and laid it down on a low table before her.

She drew her legs to her chest, resting her chin on her knees as she contemplated her circumstances. Here I was, she mused ruefully, thinking that Zabini was different from the other Slytherins. He's just as evil and sneaky as the rest of them! Lost in her indignation, she gradually became aware of an orange ball of fur rubbing against her side. As if sensing his mistress's distress, Crookshanks was purring plaintively and begging for her attention.

"Oh, Crooks," Hermione whispered affectionately. "At least you don't see me as a threat or a way to get to Harry." She stroked his fur thoughtfully as she continued, "I'm just a way to get food and a good scratch, aren't I?" She chuckled when he growled a bit, but her smile soon turned to tears as she lost herself to self-pity. "I suppose it's better to be seen that way than to be completely ignored."

Hermione tried to stop her rising emotions by concentrating on her ministrations on Crookshanks, but she lost control and her shoulders soon shook with racking sobs. Her familiar tried to distract her by nuzzling her hand and mewling sadly but she cried even harder. Eventually, the crackling of the fire and her cat's sympathetic noises calmed her a bit.

Hermione stared blankly at the journal before her, concentrating on the rain which now tapped the windows as she tried to gather the shreds of her dignity into some semblance of what it was. Finally shaking herself out of her lethargy, she stretched out along the couch with Crookshanks on her stomach. His low purrs reverberated through her ribs soothingly, and she soon fell into an exhausted asleep.