The Unforgiven

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Metalica owns the song The Unforgiven. So please don't sue me I have nothing of any real value.

~*~*~*

// New blood joins this earth

and quickly he's subdued

through constant pain disgrace

the young boy learns their rules //

I was born into a family of lies. Every since I can remember I have had to do what I was told without question. I never was told very much about what my father did. My mother never offered any information so I left it at that. "The less you know the better," he always said when I asked him once. When we had company over I was to sit there quietly and not speak unless I was spoken to. I later learned that these meetings were huge gatherings of Death Eaters.

// With time the child draws in

this whipping boy done wrong

deprived of all his thoughts

the young man struggles on and on he's known

a vow unto his own

that never from this day

his will they'll take away //

I have never had a choice as to what I wanted to do, who my friends were or what side of the war I was on. My father was in charge of all my decisions it seemed. They drilled into my brain who I was, how I was to act, and whom I would befriend and whom I would hate. At some points I wondered if I was even my own person or if they controlled my life and me.

// What I've felt //

I was taught to never have feelings for anyone or anything. If I did, they said it was considered a weakness. If I didn't keep up the facade then I would be punished.

// What I've known //

I knew that they were destroying me but there was nothing that I could do, I would just have to live with it my entire life. If I said anything about being anything other than what they wanted it would surely make it worse, so I held my tongue and did whatever they told me.

// Never shined through in what I've shown //

Well ok there was "one" thing that I was told to do and never accomplished. And that thing was being the top student of my year. No, that went to Hermione Granger the filthy little Mudblood. My father and his master were very displeased when they learned that someone with Muggles for parents could get better grades than a Malfoy who has been a pureblood for as far back as you can go.

// Never be //

I could never be the person that I wanted.

// Never see //

And I will never see why they put me through this hell and tried to make me something that I most certainly am not and will never be, not for them or anyone else.

// Won't see what might have been //

I will never know what life might have been like if I could have made life's decisions on my own and not with the help of my father and Voldemort. I sometimes think about things like that before I snap back to my harsh reality.

// What I've felt //

I felt anger towards my father and his master for all the shit that they put me through.

// What I've known //

I've known for a while now that there is nothing that I can do to change my fate. Believe me if there was, I would have already done it.

// Never free //

I was and never be free from my father's power. I will always be their puppet. They pull the strings and I do it just like a dead lifeless puppet would.

// Never me //

It was never me that they wanted. I came to understand that the only reason that I was brought into this world was so that they could use me like I was their toy.

// So I dub thee Unforgiven //

How could I ever forgive you father when you have caused me nothing but pain and sadness. How can I forgive you when you control my life and I have no sense of self anymore. How can I forgive you when if Voldemort ever ask you to give me to him, you would hand me over on a silver platter. No father, I cannot forgive you no matter what you do. There is nothing that you "can" do so don't even bother.

// They dedicate their lives

to running all of his //

During my years at Hogwarts the only real reason Voldemort never tried to come back completely was because he and my father wanted to make sure that they trained me well enough so that when he did come back I would be powerful enough to stand at his side.

// He tries to please them all

this bitter man he is //

At first I tried to please him. For that was what I was destined to do, but then I slowly stared realizing that I could do whatever I wanted to. I slowly started ignoring his orders and at times I wished that I hadn't for the consequences that I had to endure were far worse than I had ever imagined.

// throughout his life the same //

The same things kept happened over and over. I was ordered, I disobeyed, I was punished severely, then I promised that it would never happen again, I carried out the original order, and then the cycle started again. I don't think that I ever learned the lesson that if I didn't do what I was told then there would be hell to pay.

// He's battled constantly

this fight he cannot win //

I have long since come to the conclusion that I will never win this battle with my father and Voldemort. There is only one way out of it and that is death.

// A tired man they see no longer cares //

I think that both my father and Voldemort saw that I was giving up but they would never admit to it or be any kinder. Instead of acknowledging that I was changing they simply made me do things that were more horrible than you could even imagine and it made it most unbearable for me to go on living.

// The old man then prepares

to die regretfully //

Yes, I am planning on ending my life and nothing anyone says or does with change that. With that in mind if anyone ever finds this then I want to make sure that it is known that I may be committing suicide shortly but I do have regrets. The biggest one is that I will be dead and my mother will still be alive with that monster that is known as my father.

// That old man here is me //

I can hardly consider myself old but I am definitely not young anymore, not after what my father and Voldemort has put me through. It is a shame though that I have only been on this planet for 24 years but then at other times I am glad that it hasn't been longer. I am sure though that where ever I go when I die even if it is hell, which is what I deserve after all the people that I have caused pain, that it will be much better than here.

// You labeled me //

At school the Slytherins respected me because of my father, the Gryffindors labeled me as the school prick because I picked on the Gryffindor trio and my father was filthy rich. Then there was the rest of the school who feared me more than anything because of my father's power and reputation.

// I'll label you //

And to me they were nothing more but the people I would end up killing. Nothing more than another reason to cause me pain for refusing to kill them and then not having a choice but to kill them. Now they are nothing but another reason to kill myself now.

// So I dub thee Unforgiven //

As I said before there is nothing that will ever let me forgive my father for what he has done to me, his only son and heir. I just hope that my death tears him apart and he gets what he deserves in the end. I mean what kind of father would hand over their only son to the Dark Lord. Mine would. That is why I leave him Unforgiven