Black Lily

Chapter thirteen

Take Loves True Form

Dumbledore stepped out of the infirmary, a sad look on his face. Lily turned her face to look at him. Please let there be some news. Some good news. Please. Remus squeezed her shoulder to try to comfort her. Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"I... I'm afraid... that Mr. Potter..." Lily knew. She knew before he even said it; James, her James, was dead. A howl tore from her throat, all the pain and anguish that she had ever felt in her life welling up and ripping out of her throat. Sirius looked blank, the skin around his eyes tight. Lily couldn't stop the howl, boiling tears streaking her cheeks.

"NOOOOOO! He isn't he isn't he isn't! NOOOOO!"

There was this... thing. That was the only way to describe it. A knowledge in the back of her head. With out her realizing it, her howl faded, and ceased. She knew. She knew that she could not live with out James, and that she would do anything to get him back. Any thing. Lily knew what she had to do if she wanted to keep James. She closed her eyes.

~

Remus was in shock, the words that Dumbledore had said echoing around his head, but they wouldn't sink in. Prongs was gone. Forever. Suddenly, he felt Lily go lax under his hand, and slowly fall away, then hit the ground. Her eyes shot open, the pupil all but vanished, and she began shaking. He fell to his knees beside her. "Lily! Lily, what's wrong with you?!" he grabbed her shoulder, then pulled his hand away with a yelp; she was boiling hot, yet freezing cold. He looked up at Dumbledore, helplessly, and saw that the man was looking at Lily with a look of admiration on his face, and a trace of fear. Suddenly, an animalistic scream tore from the girl's throat, and her back arched upward, her body forming an arch, then she collapsed on the floor, and was still. Some one knelt down beside Remus; it was Sirius, his face streaked by tears. "It... it must have been... hearing about... Mustn't it Remus?" Remus nodded dumbly, but couldn't answer. This was really creeping him out. Her scent had changed, only slightly, but it had changed. There was something heavier in it, it was muskier some how.

Lily stirred. She sat up, and looked around, her eyes still showing only brilliant, strangely glowing green. They had never glowed before. Remus reached out a hand to her, but she seemed to... drift up into a standing position. Her eyes moved, then came to rest on Dumbledore. He bowed his head.

~

Lily could feel the blood soaring through her veins, and sing slightly as it moved. A strange, alien yet familiar power throbbed in her body, coursing through her like molten silver. She nodded quickly to Dumbledore, and slipped through the door to the infirmary, not noticing the door opened without her touching it, or any one else doing so.

Madame Pomfrey and Nurse Drusilla were standing beside a bed, on which lay a white faced, blue lipped young man, his raven hair standing out starkly and his eyes shut, as though he was sleeping. But he was in some thing deeper then sleep. Lily found herself by his side, and taking his hand. Closing her eyes, she hurtled down the dark tunnel which James had fallen into, her brilliant white light burning through the shadows that surrounded her. James! James! Her voice echoed, and yet made no noise. Are you here?! A very faint voice answered her. Go home Lily love. Go home. Lily sped on. James, come back now. You're too far gone. A dry chuckle reached her. I'm not going much further. Go home baby, and be happy. There's nothing you can do for me. It's peaceful here; let me rest in peace. Lily slowed very slightly. This was not good; James was perfectly willing to stay here in the dark. He didn't want to return to the world of the living. He wanted peace. James, please, I can't do this with out you! I need you here, by my side! She could feel pain drifting up the tunnel toward her, but no second presence. But she had one last chance, only one. James please don't leave me here to have this baby on my own! I love you, I need you. Please! There was an empty silence, then a roaring in her ears. She reached out her hand as she was pulled back into the physical world. It was taken.

Lily opened her eyes, and drew in a deep breath. A soft shriek came from Drusilla's mouth. Slowly, she looked down to the Gryffindor on the bed. Unfocused hazel eyes met hers, and a tiny smile traced across James's parchment coloured features. He mouthed two words at her; Love you. He was alive. She had brought him back to her arms. Lily smiled as her eyes closed and she laid her head on James's stomach.

*

When Lily opened her eyes again, she found James sitting beside her, one of his hands clutching hers, the other resting on her abdomen. He smiled softly. "Hey baby. Finally awake huh?" The girl licked her dry lips, and smiled back.

"How long have I been out?" James chuckled.

"About a week."

"A week?!"

"Surprised? That was a serious bit of magic you worked." He leaned forward, and kissed her forehead gently, then rose and walked to the fire place. Grabbing a handful of powder from the dish on the mantle piece, he threw it into the flames. "Albus Dumbledore." After a moment, the Headmasters head appeared in the fireplace.

"Hello Mr. Potter. What may I do for you?"

"She's awake. Now will you let the others come in? Abby is becoming hysterical about not seeing Lily."

"Very well, Miss Bones may see Lily." Almost immediately, the door burst open and a blonde haired whirlwind flew in. "LILI!" Before she knew what was happening, Lily felt a pair of ands hauling her up and arms wrapping around her. "Oh my god I've been so worried!" Lily gasped slightly.

"Whoa, sweetheart, Lily can't breathe!" all the same, the red head hugged the Hufflepuff girl tightly, squeezing her eyes shut. A small cough came from behind them, and the blonde girl let go of Lily, her face wreathed in smiles. Remus smiled at Lily, his arm wound around Falcon's waist, who in turn was leaning against the werewolf. Lily smiled, pushing herself up with her hands. "Hi guys."

"Hey Ulv."

"Lili, are you ok?" The red head shook her head with amusement.

"I'm fine. I see you two have finally come out?" the two teenagers looked at each other, Falcon with a look of complete adoration on his face, Remus smiling affectionately.

"Yeah. I guess we did." Never having been the one to be an invalid, Lily swung the blanket off of her, and put her feet on the floor. Remus moved forward to stop her, and Lily threw up her hand. He seemed to slam into a barrier, his amber eyes widening in shock. Lily sat, staring at her hand. There was a fizzing in her blood, and a little, bell like ring in her ears. What the hell? Since when could she do that? Only since... oh. Dumbledore chose that moment to step through the door, a parchment clutched in his hand. Upon entering, he bowed to the witch.

"My Lady." Lily raised her eyebrows slightly, then rose and curtseyed slightly.

"Sir." It had just seemed the right thing to do for Lily, but the effect it had to the other occupants in the room was strange; they all stood, gapping at her. James stepped toward her, a small frown on his face. "Um, maybe you should lie down again..."

"James, I'm fine." Dumbledore smiled, eyes twinkling, and he handed Lily the parchment in his hands. With raised eyebrows, she unrolled it and began to read.

A moment later, the roll fell from her numb hands. She stared at it, green eyes wide. "Oh my good god..." James put his hand on her shoulder.

"What is it?"

"I... some one... must have... told the ministry about who I was..." she swallowed, "They have officially put me on the 'Pure Blood' register. Why though?" Dumbledore shook his head.

"My dear, I believe you already know this." Of course she knew. How could she not know? Slowly, Lily walked to the window and sat down on the sill, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees. It seemed as though Sirius appeared from no where, but suddenly, he was right beside James. He smiled slightly.

"Good to see you're up and about. But I've got to ask you; how the bloody hell did you do that?"

"How did I do what?"

"James was all with the 'I'm dead' thing, and then you go all weird and collapsful, then there's the screaming, and then you've got weird glowing eyes, and then it's with the James is alive- again- and you're unconscious. And I'm babbling." James slapped Sirius around the head, and then turned thoughtfully to the silent girl in the window.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Padfoot does have a point. What did you do?" Lily stared at her knees, following the lines of the material on her pyjama trousers. How in the name of arse was she supposed to tell them this? The thought caused a sense of déjà vu. When had she had this thought before? Oh yeah. About the whole 'pregnant at seventeen' thing. That was when.

"I... I don't know if I can tell you. It doesn't exactly leave me in the most... stable of lights." The people were looking at her expectantly. She swallowed convulsively, tried to speak, and found she couldn't. A tear ran down her cheek, and she huddled into the corner closest to the window. A hand rested gently on her shoulder, and she turned her face to look into the twinkling eyes of Dumbledore.

"Lilith, I know it's hard, but-"

"But nothing. What do you know about what I'm going through? You exploited me, and James! You used us, used us as though we were toys that were at your disposal! You have no idea about me, or what happened to me. You just make assumptions." Abby was looking at her with a look of shock on her face, her hand clenched tightly in Sirius's. Another tear spilled down Lily's cheek, and her lip trembl, but now she had found her voice, she couldn't seem to stop. "You'll never have to do what I did. I love him, so so much. I gave up... oh god... I couldn't live with out him. I need him." She clenched her fists, tears pouring down her face, her head held high. "I let myself go... I let her in... I became..." She swallowed, and breathed in sharply through her nose. "I am Lilith Le Fey. In blood, spirit and name." James was staring at her in horror. Lily swallowed again. Please don't let him reject me. Please. "I couldn't lose you James. It was my only way... I needed to bring you back..." before she knew what had happened, James had practically flown across the room and swept her up into his arms, holding her so tightly she was almost breathless. After a moment, she threw her arms around him and squeezed him back, burying her head in his shoulder. His breath fluttered on her cheek, and he whispered quietly in her ear. "Marry me Lily."

*

Her hands were trembling as she smoothed the material of her white robes for the fifth time in as many minutes. Abby frowned at her playfully.

"You'll muss your dress. Besides, you look beautiful; there's no need to keep checking." Her blonde friend reached over and tweaked the silver chain that ran back into her hair, and Lily felt the raindrop pearl bounce gently against her fore head. She smiled shakily, fiddling with the hems on her long flowing sleeves.

"Sorry Abby. I'm just.... Completely terrified out of my mind. Why in the name of all things bloody and Holy did I even think about doing this?!"

"Because you love the guy? Come on, think of the scandal it would be if you had a kid out of wed lock. If you hadn't learnt that rather wonderful full concealment charm, you would be showing by now." Lily nodded, a small smile on her face.

"I guess... though I have to say, I did always picture this all happening in... I don't know, spring maybe. Beneath an apple tree full of blossom, with petals falling all about. Not in February, when we will probably freeze to death as this is Scotland." Abby laughed, and poked her head around the door. "Falcon, you can come in now; she's decent. Not that it matters, as you don't play for that team..."

"I resent that you know." The long haired boy swayed into the room, pearly grey dress robes swirling around his body. He looked at Lily critically. She swallowed, her eyes flickering back to the mirror. She had left her hair down, brushing it until it shone, and the curls fell softly about her shoulders. Her robes were pure white, with delicate silver embroidery around the hems; at the sleeves, collar and hem line at the bottom. As was traditional, from when the Wizarding world was still Pagan, her feet were bare. And a silver chain was pinned into her hair, coming to a dip in the middle where a single pearl hung low on her forehead, as had always been done by Le Fey brides. Well, that's what the books said, but it hadn't been done since the last Le Fey witch.

After a moment, an approving smile formed on Falcon's lips.

"You know, you are possibly the only female on this planet that makes me think that I might not be gay. Then I remember that I am gay, and not attracted to you." Lily laughed and slapped his arm slightly.

"Foolish boy! What time is it?" Falcon raised an eyebrow, and glanced at the intricate wrist watch on his wrist. He whistled softly between his teeth, and, walking over to the desk, picked up a length of black ribbon, and tied his hair back. Lily knew what that meant; it was time. Panic and nerves gripped her, and she clutched the side of the mirror tightly. "Oh god! I can't do this! Fal', go out there now. Tell James I can't do it. Please!!" He didn't reply, but grasped her firmly by the arm and dragged her out of the room.

Out side, it seemed that all of Hogwarts School had congregated, all of them wearing their dress robes. Lily's legs felt like jelly, and her mouth and throat were paper dry. Don't worry about it. Just think of James, and you'll be fine. He is your prize at the end of this. She wasn't sure, but she thought that her legs were a little steadier. And then she saw him. Standing nervously beside Dumbledore, wearing robes of dulled down scarlet that looked perfect on him, also bare foot, was James. Her fiancé. The man she loved with her whole heart. He looked up, and their eyes met, and locked. She used him as her anchor as the music started, and Falcon guided her past the students on either side of them, toward the circular clearing that James was standing in. Finally, she was standing in front of him. Formally, he held out his hand, palm upward. She placed hers in it, and they turned to Dumbledore. The Head maser smile, and began to speak. But Lily didn't hear the words; all she could do was look at the man beside her. Then she heard her name.

"Lilith, I believe you wrote the vows." James raised an eyebrow at her. This was it. She had spent over a month trying to perfect them, in secret, so it would be a surprise for James. She wet her lips with the tip of her tongue.

"James, when I close my eyes, you are the one I see. When I draw breath, you are the air I breathe. As we are now, I will us to be forever. I swear upon my life, that yours will be the last face I see when I am old and grey, before I am taken back to the earth." James was looking at her with love radiating from his eyes, she smiled as she spoke the age old vow. "I willingly take you as my husband; will you accept me as your wife?" Dumbledore turned to James. As James spoke the words back to her, his face was lit with a smile. "Lily, when I close my eyes, you are the one I see. When I draw breath, you are the air I breathe. As we are now, I will us to be forever. I swear upon my life, that yours will be the last face I see when I am old and grey, before I am taken back to the earth. Aye, I willingly take you as my wife." Sirius stepped up behind James, and handed him something. A hand came to rest on Lily's arm, and she turned to look into Sev's black eyes. He put a finger to his lips, and then placed something in her palm. It was a slender silver band, patterned with Celtic knots. The ring that she had chosen for James. She looked at the Slytherin one last time, before turning back to the raven haired man. Quickly, she twisted the claddagh ring off of her left hand; she had forgotten to take it off before the ceremony. James winked at her as he took her left hand. That cocky bastard sees every thing, I swear. I have no secrets from him. But that's the way it should be. James was speaking again, holding the ring up for the crowd of students to see. Lily watched out of the corner of her eye as several girls broke down in tears. Aha, so there really IS a James Potter Appreciation Society. I have to tease him about that. But James was speaking, and she listened once more.

"This ring is a symbol of my love for Lily. It is an eternal circle; never breaking or altering its path." He turned back to her. "Lily, I will love you until I die, and after. This is my promise ring." He gently slipped it onto her ring finger. Lily took a moment to look at it. This ring to was silver, but the metal waved, so the delicate ring was like the edging of lace. It was perfect. She looked up and smiled, then raised her ring.

"My ring, too, is a symbol of my love for James. It is unbroken, unbent, unchanging. My promise, is that I will love him as this ring is a circle; for ever." She took his left hand, and gazed up at him. "James, I love you. In return, I give you my promise ring." He swallowed, and smiled a little shakily as she eased the ring onto his finger. They turned to look at Dumbledore as one. He smiled at them. "Do you two accept each other as the other is, not wish to change them, or to make them something they are not? Will you forsake all others, and remain with this person until death separates you?" Lily smiled, and replied. "This I vow." James looked at Dumbledore, then at Lily. His silence made her panic. Why won't he speak? Is he changing his mind? Fingers gently ran through her hair, and James smiled at her lovingly. He seemed to be a lot closer.

"I too vow this." Dumbledore spread his arms.

"Before all you witnesses, I proclaim these two to be man and wife." With a laugh, James swept her into his arms and kissed her. Throwing her arms around his neck, Lily returned the kiss, almost bursting with happiness. A soft gasp echoed from the crowd, and Lily stepped back. James was looking at her with awe. Raising her hands, she saw they were glowing with a soft, white light. Lily smiled, and raised her face to the sky. The sun had come out, and the entire crowd was bathed in a warm, yellow glow. She whispered softly, watching a transparent figure at the corner of the crowd, who was smiling at her, green eyes glowing. "Thank you Morgan. Thank you Grandmother."