Behind the Masks We Wear

Behind the Masks We Wear: Chapter 3

Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears
You are someone else
I am still right here
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

- Nine Inch Nails
- Hurt

Even weeks after the Halloween Party Ron was having a bit of trouble coming to grips with the fact that Harry and Malfoy were together. He made it through most of the first week by deciding to act like they were only friends, and that he had never walked in on them on Halloween. This worked well until he and Pansy snuck into an empty classroom hoping for a quick between class snog only to find a happily snogging Harry and Malfoy already occupied it. Mumbling something about them finding another room he walked out determined to find a better approach to the problem. By the next day he had decided he would pretend that Harry wasn´t seeing Malfoy, that it was someone else like Seamus or Justin Finch-Fletchley. Granted he had his doubts about how well it would work, but it was a bit of a spur of the moment idea. It only lasted until noon of that same day when Malfoy called him Weasel and made some comment about the state of his robes. He was concentrating so hard on pretending Malfoy was someone else that he barely heard what was said and replied "Nice of you to say so Malfoy." A very shocked Harry and Hermione dragged him up to the infirmary positive he´d been hexed or something. While in the infirmary he decided he would just pretend Malfoy didn´t exist at all. This went ok for a while until one day he was walking along when Malfoy stuck his foot out and tripped him. Accident my foot, Ron thought even after Malfoy apologized.

Ron finally went to Hermione and asked, "Why, why, why, did Harry have to choose Malfoy?"

Hermione didn´t have an answer for that but simply said. "If you´re his friend you´ll accept that Draco is who Harry wants and support him in that."

"But why Malfoy?"

Hermione giggled. "Could be worse, it could have been Snape he fell for."

"Eww!! Eww!! Eww!!" Ron held his hands over his ears "I never wanted to hear that! Horrible mental image! Obliviate me! Please!"

"Hermione choked back a laugh. " I bet you´re pretty happy he´s with Draco now, aren´t you?"

Ron left though he didn´t feel a whole lot happier about the situation. He went looking for Pansy. They had been together openly since Halloween and since they had the support of Harry, Draco and Hermione very few negative comments had been made.

He found her in the library. He sat down across from her grumpily and crossed his arms across his chest.

"I don´t suppose you can tell me why Harry would choose someone like Malfoy."

Pansy ignored the insult to one of her best friends and said, "I think that they´re good for each other. I also think you aren´t giving Draco a chance."

"I know but... he´s...gah!"

"I give up!" said Pansy. "Maybe you should go and talk to Harry. Then you can decide if your pride is worth as much as your best friend´s happiness. You´ve been moping around about the whole thing since Halloween."

Ron went to find Harry but he wasn´t to be found. Probably off snogging Malfoy in some corner thought Ron. He decided he´d much rather be off spending time with Pansy anyway, and since Harry accepted her without any reservations he could surely do the same with Malfoy no matter how awful the idea. Ron stopped fighting it and gave in to the fact that Harry liked Malfoy. Pansy had left the library by the time he got back there. Disappointed, he decided to go back to the dorms and take a nap before dinner.

Meanwhile Draco was having some problems of his own. He sat on the edge of his bed both hands fisted at his sides. Malfoy´s do not scream he thought to himself. They do not yell. Malfoy´s are always calm and in control. Then he picked up the glass on his nightstand and threw it at the wall with all the force he could manage. It hit with a satisfying crunch and shattered. Then he noticed Pansy standing in the doorway with a shielding spell up against flying shards of glass.

"Trouble in paradise?" she asked with a wry smile.

"You know," said Draco. "Some days I really hate Harry."

Pansy walked over, her shoes crunching on the glass all over the floor and sat down in a chair across from Draco and took one of his hands in hers.

"He makes me feel. He makes me want to feel." Draco laughed bitterly. "I started this whole thing to find a way to keep us all safe. I would have lied or cheated or done anything to keep the four of us safe. It seems that all I´ve done is dig us deeper in."

"You care about him. He´s not just someone to use anymore."

"Yes. Damn him."

"He cares about you too. Anyone can see it, and I consider him a friend. I wouldn´t want to see him hurt. Maybe you should tell him everything."

"I can't."

Pansy absently ran her fingers over Draco´s palm, noticing that there were traces of soot on his fingertips.

"Your father wrote you again, didn´t he?"

Draco snatched his hand back. "Yes, but I´m not telling you anything about it. It´s safer if you don´t know. Now lets go to dinner."

Harry was upstairs searching through his trunk for his spare set of dragon hide gloves. The first set after years of use had finally been destroyed by Neville when he blew up his cauldron in potions all over them. He was so preoccupied with digging through everything that he never heard Seamus come up behind him.

"What´s up Harry?" asked Seamus.

"I can't seem to find the second set of dragon hide gloves I had in here. I just know that Snape will make me so something repulsive like squeeze bubotuber pus if I can't find them." Harry continued digging through the trunk.

"So what´s going on with you and Malfoy?"

"A ha!" yelled Harry holding up a pair of dragon hide gloves. Then he paled as Seamus´s words registered. "What?"

"You. Malfoy. Tell all."

"There´s nothing to tell," squeaked out Harry. He cleared his throat. "I mean we´re just friends."

"You really suck at lying. You should work on that." Seamus grinned. "You lucky guy you. He´s got that whole bad boy thing going, and those eyes. Mmmm. I´d love to be in your shoes."

"You´ve got Dean."

"Yeah and I love Dean, but you´ve got to admit, Malfoy is hot."

"Malfoy is hot, and we´re still just friends." Harry shot a insistent look at Seamus.

"That was better, I almost believed you that time."

"Look..." Harry started to say.

The door to the dorm opened and in walked Ron stopping the conversation.

"Hey Harry, I was looking for you. Hey Seamus. What´s up?"

"I´m just trying to get Harry to admit his relationship with Malfoy."

"Seam!" yelled Harry.

"Oh, just tell him Harry," said Ron. "That way he won´t go bugging me about it later."

"Ron!" Harry turned to look at Ron completely shocked.

Meanwhile Seamus was shouting, "I knew it!"

Harry picked up his dragon hide gloves and stormed out of the room. Ron and Seamus could hear him complaining loudly as he walked down the stairs, "God dammit! What the hell is wrong with people that no one can keep a secret in this school? Some friends I have!"

"Don´t say anything to anyone ok Seamus?" asked Ron.

"Sure no problem. Mum´s the word."

Harry was still angry with Ron by dinnertime. Although Ron swore that Seamus wouldn´t say anything Harry still had his doubts. So he just frowned at Ron and told him that if he was the friend he said he was that he wouldn´t have said anything in the first place. Ron apologized and even though Harry accepted it he still wasn´t happy and spent most of dinner talking only to Hermione.

Draco looked toward the Gryffindor table and noticed that Harry was quite visibly giving Ron the cold shoulder. Despite the fact that he hated Ron with a passion he hoped it wasn´t too serious for Harry´s sake, because he knew Harry would need Ron´s support in the days to come.

Harry looked up to see Draco looking at him thoughtfully and he nodded almost imperceptibly to let him know to meet him in the room after dinner.

Draco was walking toward the room after dinner when Ron walked up to him and stuck out his hand.

"Truce Draco?"

"Well, this was unexpected Weasley."

"Just call me Ron. If I´m going to try to get along with you I might as well give it my all for Harry´s sake."

"Ok. Truce." Draco took Ron´s hand and shook it.

"I don´t suppose you know where Pansy´s at?" asked Ron.

"Try the library. I think she´s studying with Hermione tonight."

Ron walked off toward the library in the hopes of dragging Pansy away from studying in favor of more interesting things and Draco continued on toward his meeting with Harry.

Draco walked into the room, locked the door with a locking spell and turned to see Harry looking at him.

"What´s wrong?" were the first words out of Harry´s mouth as soon as he saw Draco´s face.

"Nothing´s wrong," said Draco. "What makes you think something´s wrong?"

"Because I can see that your eyes aren´t smiling even if your face is. You´ve got a mask on again."

"So? I hide my feelings a lot. You know that. I´m not like one of you bloody Gryffindors, always wearing your hearts on your sleeve."

"In public sure, but you almost never do when it´s just us." Harry walked over and pulled Draco close. "Also, insulting me wont get me to stop worrying about you so you might as well stop now."

"I hate you Harry."

"I know you do," Harry whispered and kissed Draco softly on his forehead.

Draco thought about the last letter from his father and knew exactly what he had to do to keep everyone he cared about safe. He tightened his arms around Harry and hoped that he would be able to keep up the charade without Harry, or worse Dumbledore finding out what was afoot.

"So what was up with you and Weasley tonight at dinner?" Draco raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Do you know he came up to me when I was on my way here and asked for a truce?"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Seamus was bugging me about our relationship. I can only assume he noticed something on Halloween, and I was telling him that nothing was going on when Ron walked in and said that I might as well tell him everything. It might still stay a secret but I´m not holding my breath on it." Harry suddenly paled as something occurred to him.

"Oh Merlin! Your father..."

"Harry..."

"He´ll kill you..."

"Harry..."

"We need to..."

"Harry! He knows."

"What!?" Harry looked completely confused.

"He knows. I´m supposed to win your trust and turn you over to Voldemort at the end of the summer."

"But Drake..." Harry backed toward the door slightly.

"Don´t worry Harry I´m not planning on doing it, anyway I certainly wouldn´t tell you in advance if I were."

Harry began to think about this. He really wanted to believe that Draco wouldn´t do anything like that and all of his instincts were screaming that he wouldn´t. Even logically it seemed fairly dumb to announce the plan and still carry it out. Aside from an outright kidnap, which would be pretty hard to pull off, there wasn´t much chance of it working without his cooperation.

If Draco was true to his word however and did nothing his life was still in danger. He didn´t think Voldemort would take failure well, and outright betrayal would mean his death. It was definitely time to go to Dumbledore about the whole thing.

"If you don´t, you´re still in danger. We need to go see Dumbledore..." Harry turned and went to grab the door handle when Draco´s hand reached out and grabbed his arm.

"No. Don´t."

"No? What do you mean no? You can't have expected to go home this summer, even without this complication. You would´ve been made a Death Eater. We should´ve gone to Dumbledore a long time ago and asked him to give you sanctuary."

"I´m going to work this out on my own. I´m won´t end up as a Death Eater spy or something just to fulfill Dumbledore´s agenda."

"What agenda?" Harry frowned.

Draco laughed sarcastically. "Harry you can't be that naive. Of course Dumbledore´s working to fulfill his own agenda. Just because you might agree with most of his principles doesn´t mean you haven´t been manipulated."

Harry started getting angry. "How dare you? Dumbledore´s a great man. How can you say things like that?"

"Because they´re true. Remember the end of your first year? You must have broken a dozen school rules when you went up to the third floor corridor and fought Voldemort. You shouldn´t have been there. You could have died Harry! Died! And what did Dumbledore do? It wasn´t the detention you deserved for putting yourself in that kind of danger. It was 160 house points and the house cup. What kind of message do you think that sends? It couldn´t be that breaking rules is ok could it? Or that it´s up to you to fight Voldemort?"

Harry was speechless. Draco certainly had a point. He was doing a bit of a goldfish impersonation when Draco pulled him into his arms and sat them both down on the sofa.

"Please Harry, Please don´t go to Dumbledore. I know what I´m doing."

"Ok Drake," Harry capitulated. "But only if you promise me that you´ll say something if you´re in any danger. I couldn´t bear to see you hurt." Harry tenderly ran his hand down the side of Draco´s face caressing it softly.

"Hey, danger is my middle name," joked Draco.

"Is it now?" grinned Harry.

"Well no, its actually Lucius but danger sounds so much sexier doesn´t it? Draco Danger Malfoy." Draco smirked at Harry.

"You´re too much," said Harry and leaned forward to kiss Draco who was more than happily meeting him halfway. Harry´s hand reached forward to tangle itself in Draco´s hair as he sucked gently on his lower lip. Draco moaned softly and deepened the kiss his tongue playing gently with Harry´s. His hands softly slipped under Harry´s shirt to caress his skin, and Harry let out a bit of a giggle as Draco ran his fingers over a ticklish spot. Draco raised an eyebrow at that and turned the whole encounter into a bit of a game. Keeping his mouth plastered on Harry´s as best he could he nimbly ran his fingers down Harry´s ribs. Harry writhed trying to wiggle away from Draco´s tickling fingers until he managed to knock them both off the sofa. They landed with Draco lying on the ground and Harry straddled over his waist.

"Now I have you at my mercy." Harry grinned with a smile that promised payback.

Harry took both of Draco´s wrists and held them over his head with one hand. He slid the other hand under his shirt and began to tickle him back. Draco wiggled but was unable to get away. After a bit Harry felt that he had gotten Draco back enough and he let go of his hands, which were promptly wrapped around Harry. Draco smiled and they lay there on the floor for a while cuddling gently, comfortable in each other´s company without saying anything at all.

It wasn´t until much later that Harry realized that Draco had never promised to say something if he was in any danger.

The next morning Harry found Hermione in the common room getting ready to go to breakfast.

"Hi `Mione," Harry said with a smile. He gave her a quick hug.

"Hey Harry, you´re more awake then usual this morning."

"Well, we all have our off days. Listen there´s something I wanted to talk to you about. Got a minute?"

"Will it take only a minute or longer?"

"Probably a lot longer," said Harry thinking of all the dreams he´d been having lately, and how long it would take to explain how exactly they were unusual.

"How about after classes today in the library?"

"Sure. Sounds great."

At that point Ron walked downstairs and looked warily at Harry who probably had every right to be mad at him about the thing with Seamus. He didn´t know why he just blurted out what was going on with Malfoy like that. Only that maybe he was still a bit upset about having to get along with the jerk even if he had decided it was best.

Harry smiled at Ron. "Don´t worry I´m not going to take your head off. What´s done is done and I´ll survive it I´m sure."

"I´m really sorry Harry. I don´t know what I was thinking."

"You´re forgiven, and this time I really mean it."

The three of them walked down to breakfast together.

"So what´s the problem you want to talk to me about?" asked Hermione as they walked down to the Great Hall.

"It´s way too complicated to get into it now."

"What´s up?" asked Ron questioningly.

"Come to the library after class today and I´ll explain all. I promise we won´t make you study." Harry grinned.

Harry was talking to Ron and Hermione while waiting with the rest of the class for Hagrid and Charlie to show up. Since they were going to have about a month of practical lessons on dragons they were all going to be indoors. The door to the Care of Magical Creatures room was usually unlocked so there was a lot of speculation about what might be going on and if they should bother to stay for class, or if there was even going to be a class.

While they were standing there Fred and George came up to Harry and George said "So Harry we hear you´ve come out of the broom closet. So to speak."

"Is it true? You´re seeing Malfoy?" added Fred.

Harry glared over at Seamus who stepped back and said, "I only told Dean about it. He had guessed anyway so it´s not like he didn´t know."

Neville looked up at Harry at this point, his face turning red. "Um.. Harry.. The thing is I overheard Seam telling Dean what was up, but I only told Ginny. Honest! I just figured if you were taken it´d be easier to talk her into going out with me."

Harry was actually amazed that it had taken almost 18 hours before anyone said anything to him. He figured the gossip mill was quicker than that.

"Don´t worry about it Neville, and have fun with Ginny." Harry turned toward Fred and George while Ron gave Neville a look that plainly said `we´ll talk later´.

"Well, you see..." started Harry as a familiar arm snaked around his waist and Draco said, "We´re just in it for the sex."

Harry turned toward Draco and smiled at the devilish look in his eyes. "Oh yes, absolutely, just for the sex. After all its not every day you get to shag the sexiest boy in the school."

Suddenly there was a very loud, "Oh my God!" from behind them, and they all turned to see Blaise Zambini standing there with his mouth hanging open. "I can't believe you Draco! I mean it was one thing when Pansy started seeing the Weasel, after all she´s not worth much anyway, and she´d probably sleep with anyone. Draco, I can't believe you´d let yourself be buggered by Potter of all people, the golden boy of Gryffindor. You make me ashamed to be a Slytherin. What would your father say?"

Ron clenched his fists at the insult to Pansy, and stepped forward angrily and punched Blaise right in the mouth knocking him to the floor. A trickle of blood dripped down from the corner of his lip. Ron glared down at the boy with even more hatred than Draco ever managed to arouse in him, and only Harry´s hand on his shoulder stopped him from jumping on Blaise and beating him to a pulp.

Harry shot an uncertain look at Draco knowing that if Voldemort didn´t find out everything today it would only be because owl post was late. Draco simply ran his hand in circles over Harry´s back in a calming motion that said everything would be fine.

"What my father does or doesn´t say certainly isn´t your business Blaise. Who I´m sleeping with isn´t either, and Pansy is worth a dozen of you so if I ever hear you say anything like you just did again I can guarantee you I´ll hex you so hard it´ll take them a month to get you back to normal, and I won´t be the only one." Draco´s voice was cold as ice and left no doubt that any negative comments on his or Pansy´s relationship wouldn´t be tolerated. He nodded to Ron who was holding Pansy now and comforting her.

Blaise clambered up off the floor wiping the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand and stormed off furiously. None of the other Slytherins had anything to say.

"We´re going to need to keep an eye on him," said Harry quietly to Draco.

"I´ll ask Crabbe or Goyle to do it. They´re fairly good at that sort of thing because everyone assumes they´re so totally clueless." Draco whispered in Harry´s ear.

Harry looked up to see Ron staring at him.

"What?" he asked. "Something on my face?"

"I just can't believe you lost your virginity before I did."

"It was just a joke Ron. I haven´t lost anything."

"Yet," added Draco with a smirk.

Harry blushed at that, his face turning the Gryffindor house colors.

Just then Hagrid and Charlie arrived.

"Sorry we´re late guys," said Charlie as he unlocked the door.

The lesson passed fairly quickly. Ron even made a halfhearted attempt to take notes since Charlie was the one teaching the class. He spent a good portion of the class passing notes to Harry and Seamus regardless. At one point he missed something crucial in what Charlie had been saying.

He gently nudged Hermione and whispered, " `Mione, let me peek at your notes. I missed what Charlie said." He looked over to see that she hadn´t even opened her notebook. "Hermione?" he asked and nudged her again.

"Hmm?" she asked her eyes dreamily looking forward.

Just then the class ended and people started walking out.

"Hermione are you ok? You didn´t even take any notes. Are you feeling ok?" Ron shot her a worried look.

"Oh! I completely forgot about notes! This is sure to be on the N.E.W.T.S. too! Harry can I borrow your notes?"

"What´s wrong with my notes?" Ron demanded.

Harry stifled a grin and quickly hid his notes. "I´m sorry `Mione I spilled ink all over my notes and I had to throw them out. You´re just going to have to ask Charlie about a recap." He brushed past her on his way to the door and whispered, "Nice choice by the way."

Hermione stood there flushing red.

"What´s wrong with my notes?" Ron repeated.

"They aren´t legible. I guess I´ll have to go see Charlie." She left the room with a big smile on her face.

Boy you´d think she had a thing for Charlie the way she acts thought Ron. Then understanding struck. Holy cow! Charlie and Hermione? Ron shrugged and went to go give Neville a lecture on the do´s and don´ts of dating his only sister.

The trio met later after classes in the library as they had planned earlier. They sat in the farthest corner not only so they wouldn´t disturb anyone but so they wouldn´t be overheard.

"So what´s up Harry," asked Hermione when they were all there.

"Well this is probably really hard to explain to you two, but here goes. I´ve been having these dreams..." Harry paused trying to think of a way to describe them.

"About You-Know-Who?" Ron still refused to say Voldemort´s name despite Harry´s insistence otherwise.

"Yes, but also no. I mean they aren´t like the dreams where my scar hurts and I see what Voldemort is doing. These are more of a nightmare. I´m usually reliving the third task when Cedric died and Voldemort was brought back." Harry looked down at his hands ignoring Ron´s flinch at the Dark Lord´s name.

Hermione nodded for him to continue, listening quietly.

"Ok well this is the really weird part. Draco´s in them."

"Well what can you expect.." Ron started to say, but stopped when he noticed Hermione´s glare.

Harry continued as if Ron hadn´t said anything. "He´s always helping me somehow. As soon as he appears I feel safe, and there´s this voice. It said `two bound, in perfect love and perfect trust´. Does that mean anything to you guys?" Both Hermione and Ron shook their heads. "Well anyway, in the last one Wormtail was cutting my arm for the spell to bring Voldemort back. When I looked down at my arm it wasn´t cut at all, but there was a hole right through the center of my hand the size of a quarter like a pike had been shoved through it. I was going to start screaming when all the pain and fear faded and I looked down again and Draco was licking the blood off my hand, but it was ok. I knelt down beside him and wherever he licked the wound healed. Then I looked up and saw Voldemort´s red eyes emblazoned in the sky watching us."

"Harry if anything I´d stay as far away from Draco as possible," said Ron who looked a bit green.

"I bet you´ve been wondering if these dreams are prophetic somehow." Hermione put her hand on Harry´s comfortingly.

Harry nodded.

"You know how I feel about divination and that quack Trelawney, but I suggest we assume that they are real and do some research. If we´re wrong no big deal but if we´re right at least we´ll be prepared. How long has this been going on?"

"Since the start of the school year. Long before Draco and I got together actually. It took me a while to even realize it was him in the dream. At first all I saw was blond hair and his hands."

"Harry, I know you like Draco, but we can't trust him. I called a truce with him because I want to support your choices but honestly I´d really feel a whole lot better if you just broke if off." Ron looked at Harry earnestly. He didn´t want to upset Harry but he did want him safe.

"Surprisingly enough he told me the same thing not long ago. Not that I should break if off with him, but that I shouldn´t trust him. It wouldn´t shock me one bit if he was trying to get me to break things off. I believe he called me a trusting Gryffindor idiot and stormed off."

Ron looked surprised at this news.

"I think that something else is going on with Draco. Something I don´t know about. Sometimes he´s so distant like he´s pushing me away on purpose. I know you both think he can't be trusted, even you `Mione although you don´t say anything. I do. These dreams are so intense you can't imagine it, and he saves me every time. I can't discount them. I don´t believe it isn´t real. I think if we are going to survive this war we´re going to need the help of Draco Malfoy."

"There´s one last thing then," said Hermione uneasily. "After that display Blaise put on this morning I´m sure that Lucius Malfoy knows what´s going on between the two of you. His reaction won´t be anything good. Draco could be in danger."

"Yeah that´s for sure," added Ron.

Harry looked away uneasily. "Well you see... It won´t be a problem. Lucius already knows about us. Draco said he´s supposed turn me over to Voldemort at the end of the year."

"What?!" shouted Hermione completely forgetting they were in the library.

"Harry are you out of your mind?! He even admitted to being on their side and you´re still together?" Ron was yelling as well.

Harry put up his hands to stop the yelling. "Hey this is still the library you know. Good thing everyone´s left already or the whole school would know what´s going on. Draco is supposed to gain my trust and bring me to Voldemort. I´m sure you can see how it would never work without my cooperation, especially now that you both know about Lucius´s `plan´. And for your information he said he wasn´t going to do it anyway. Lucius just thinks he will. He´s not on their side. Why else would he tell me what the plan was?"

"Smokescreen?" asked Ron. "Tell you one thing, but plan another? Telling you the plan could just be one way to gain your trust and then betray you in another manner. After all you only have his word that that´s actually what´s going on."

"I don´t think so Ron, I think this is all on the level. I´ve gotten pretty good at reading him in this past month and I´d swear on my parent´s graves he was telling the truth."

Ron smiled. "Ok Harry you´d know best. You know it was pretty weird having him on our side this morning. I think I like it though."

"Yeah he sure gave Blaise what for after that nice punch you landed."

"Harry, he´d be in terrible danger if Lucius ever found out what was really going on." Hermione put her head in her hands.

"I know, He says he has a plan. I can only trust that he does since he won´t tell me what it is. I´m worried."

"You should go to Dumbledore," said Ron.

"I´m not even going to go into my reasons for not wanting to do that. You´ll just have to trust me that it´s best if I don´t, at least for now." Harry looked at Ron and Hermione. "So where do we go from here?"

"We should probably start doing some research on spells that need blood as an ingredient. Also we might try looking up those words to see if they mean anything. I´m not sure how though. We´d probably have better luck in romance novels than spellbooks." Hermione quickly wrote down a handful of books to start with and handed half of the list to Harry and the other half to Ron.

"So much for not studying," grumbled Ron, and he and Harry stood up and got to work.