Knight of Pentacles, Queen of Wands

Ch. 13: Death

"Severus," the Dark Lord hissed.

He found himself once again prostrated at the Dark Lord's feet. As always, Severus found it difficult not to be truly in thrall to the wizard before him. The Dark Lord promised so much that Severus wanted, but he knew that it was all lies at the core.

"Tell me, where is Potter?"

Severus risked looking up and a sneer passed over his face before he could stop himself. He felt the brush against his mind immediately.

"We only had time to bring Black, my Lord."

"Ah yes, I see," the Dark Lord whispered.

The Dark Lord did indeed see. He saw everything of their mission.

"A Mudblood, Severus?" Voldemort asked lightly.

Severus didn't respond, but the Dark Lord didn't care either way.

"Very clever of you, using her to get to Potter."

The very thought that he did use Lily repulsed him, but it was true nonetheless. The others were all crowded around the small dungeon room where Sirius Black was being held. Severus was relieved when the Dark Lord left things there, which meant that his Occulmency must have worked.

"So, this is Sirius Black. The wayward Gryffindor returns home."

Thus began Black's interrogation. It was brutal torture, it didn't move Severus in any way, and he felt no compassion for Black whatsoever. Severus was numb. However, when the Dark Lord finally had Sirius Black groveling as planned, begging for his life to be spared and to be made a Death Eater, Severus wasn't pleased, not really. Seeing Sirius Black this way truly disgusted him. It wasn't how things should be, not at all. The Dark Lord immediately turned back to Severus when it came to this.

"Severus, I'm afraid you haven't told me everything," the Dark Lord hissed.

Severus felt his blood run cold at the statement. It meant that he would quite possibly be dying soon. The Dark Lord was exceedingly intelligent and perceptive. He was going to have to take a gamble by telling the Dark Lord some of the truth.

"No, my Lord. I felt that Black could be more useful to us if we had someone posted in the Order of the Phoenix."

Red eyes were narrowed on him and Severus could feel their full impact.

"And you didn't see fit to share this with Lord Voldemort?"

"There wasn't time. Black owes me. It was my favor to ask in exchange for his life."

"I know how much you hate him."

It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"Yet you presume to know the mind of Lord Voldemort, Severus?"

Severus had to deliberately calm his breathing so as not to appear frantic. He opted to use a tactic Malfoy had often used with a modicum of success in the future.

"I had hoped my Lord would be pleased with a talented new servant, no matter how unwilling. I meant no disrespect. However, I see now how my actions might be construed as forgetting my place."

The Dark Lord circled Severus slowly.

"You'd really like to see him dead."

This was another statement that wasn't a question. Severus knew he had felt no remorse upon learning of Black's trip through the veil. Life tended to be much more peaceful for him without Sirius Black around. Severus found himself hesitating slightly. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. What was wrong with him that he really did want to see Sirius Black dead? He couldn't deny the truth though.

"Yes."

Voldemort laughed. "I have somewhat of a dilemma on my hands, it would seem. I cannot afford to have more than one problematic servant at this time."

The Dark Lord fingered his wand.

"I see Karkaroff hasn't fared well this past night. Your work I believe, Severus?"

Despite himself, Severus chanced a glance at a hopeful looking Karkaroff and sneered, and this wasn't lost on the Dark Lord.

"Yes."

If there was more than a bit of satisfaction that seeped through his tone, Severus was beyond caring.

Voldemort looked gleeful at this revelation.

"You've pleased me, Severus."

His relief was rather short-lived though at the Dark Lord's next words.

"Finish what you started, Severus," the Dark Lord whispered enticingly. "Kill Karkaroff and know that Lord Voldemort rewards loyalty to the Dark Order."

Igor Karkaroff immediately fell to the floor to grovel at the Dark Lord's feet.

"My Lord! I am loyal! Please spare me! Kill Black instead. I'll do anything- anything for you!" the distraught man wailed.

It was considered an honor among Death Eaters to be asked to off someone by the Dark Lord. Consequently, the Dark Lord occasionally employed it as a reward. It was also known that if one wasn't personally killed by the Dark Lord himself, then that meant they were nothing. It was the greatest dishonor for one of Voldemort's own servants to not only be killed for incompetence but to be denied death at his hand. Karkaroff had apparently been that abysmal in his service.

"My Lord is too kind to give me this opportunity," Severus whispered in awe.

Severus was truly stunned. He hadn't ever killed before. Well, that was not entirely true. He had killed Dumbledore, hadn't he? The self-loathing was almost too much. He only did so because he had been forced by the vow and by Dumbledore himself, his only consolation being that Albus Dumbledore was already slowly dying. His current self had never killed.

However, whereas killing Dumbledore rated as one of his worst memories, he didn't think he would regret seeing Karkaroff dead. If it weren't for him, they wouldn't even be in half of this mess. It would take no effort to summon the right frame of mind to cast the Killing Curse.

Severus closed his eyes and lifted his wand. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Karkaroff's whimpering form on the ground, and he narrowed his eyes in disgust immediately. Hatred was too easy of a thing.

"Avada Kedavra!"

It was a rush and it was simultaneously disturbing, because Severus knew it was wrong. It was literally kill or be killed though, wasn't it? Black was glaring at him accusingly from his place on the floor. It only made him feel worse. He felt like retching. He couldn't meet Black's eyes. It was as if everything Black had ever said about him were actually true.

The Dark Lord, though, he was ecstatic. With this one act, Severus had committed himself inexorably to his course of action. There would never be any Order of the Phoenix or anything other than Azkaban for him now if he were caught. The Slytherin version of vigilante justice it was.

Not one witch or wizard in Malfoy's dungeon dared say a word. Severus stared dispassionately at Karkoff's dead husk, burning the sight into his brain. He only wished he felt more remorse than he actually did. Instead, he only felt self-absorbed. It was a sad realization that he only cared about the consequences to himself and not that because of him a man was no longer living.

"So, Sirius Black wants to be one of my Death Eaters," the Dark Lord said softly. "It's only too bad you needed the extra encouragement."

The Dark Lord paused. "As you can see, I don't tolerate incompetence."

"Yes." There was a significant pause on Black's part before he added, "My Lord."

The Dark Lord was truly delighted. Somehow, Severus got the feeling that he was the only one in the room who truly was.

Severus kept his eyes on Karkaroff as the Dark Lord burned his Dark Mark into Sirius Black's left arm. Severus couldn't help thinking that Black's scream of agony and his complete submission should have made him deliriously happy.

Severus was having a most difficult time keeping his nausea at bay and felt he truly would sick up quite soon if he couldn't leave. Lily would never want to have anything to do with him now. Perhaps Black was right. Perhaps he should stay away. He wasn't anything but a dark wizard and he was a traitor in more than one sense. There was no time to dwell on things though. He had work to do and needed to see Lily, regardless.