Knight of Pentacles, Queen of Wands

Ch7: The Chariot

"Just because I'm an active member of a right wing political organization-"

"That's how you justified it, is it?"

They'd been going around in circles for a while now. Severus had been right. Lily came to her senses and realized she had a Death Eater in her room. There was apparently no place in his life for hugging it out. Severus sighed. This was going absolutely nowhere and he had to make Lily understand what was at stake.

"I need your help."

That got her attention.

"Well, there's only so much I can do, Severus, like I said-"

"I'm putting you in danger just by being here, but you have to understand, I wouldn't have come if this wasn't important."

As Severus was usually a very serious person, it was sometimes difficult to tell when he was being even more so, but Lily knew.

"What about anything?" she asked.

"This- this is more important than even that. I said I'd do anything, and I will, but it would mean nothing if-"

Severus honestly didn't know how to tell her. He let his hair hang around his eyes. It was a habit he'd got into when he didn't want to look someone else in the eyes.

"I have no right to ask this of you, but I need you to trust me. I need you to do what I ask on this without any questions," he said softly.

"What? What is it?"

Lily was beginning to look frightened. Severus honestly didn't blame her.

"I need for you to find out some information for me, from Dumbledore," he said carefully.

"Well, I'm sure you can ask him yourself, whatever it is."

"No," he said emphatically. "No, I can't. It has to be you. He can't know about me. You're a member of the Order of the Phoenix."

Lily had never come out and said, but he knew beyond a doubt that she was.

"I'm not going to betray the Order for you, Severus!" she exclaimed.

She was wringing her hands and jumped up at the last. Severus lightly grabbed them and gently pulled her back down to sit next to him.

"I'm not asking you to, but they'll no doubt see it that way if they find out."

"What sort of information?" she asked hesitantly.

He knew she was far from convinced, but he had to let her know.

"I need to know anything he knows about the Dark Lord, no matter how trivial. I need to know if there were any objects he knew about that might be important to the Dark Lord. I also need to know if he knows about horcruxes," Severus said and paused slightly, "And if he does- I need to know if he knows how to go about destroying them."

"That's- that will make them suspicious of me for sure," she responded.

"Well, you'll have to be subtle about it," he said in a somewhat annoyed tone.

Lily recoiled as if he had slapped her. Her eyes narrowed at him.

"You come here and ask for my help and then you dare to get shirty with me?" she huffed. "What if I say no?" she demanded.

This was the moment of truth. Severus curled his hand around his wand and pulled it out slowly. Lily's eyes widened. It took every ounce of will he possessed to look her directly in the eyes this time.

"I'm afraid that I can't take no for an answer."

"What- what are you going to do to me?" she whispered.

She was clearly terrified now. Severus truly hated himself in that moment.

"Nothing if you cooperate. I'm not above using Imperio if you don't," he said softly.

"What will you do with the information?"

Severus smirked. "Destroy the Dark Lord."

By now, Lily had set her lips in a tight line. Gryffindor bravado came out at the most interesting moments. She clearly didn't believe him. She shook her head.

"If you were really intending to do that, you'd go see Dumbledore," she accused.

"I told you I'm not joining the Order of the Phoenix. Why would I want to hang around a bunch of people who loathe me as much as I do them? What have they ever done for me? At least my friends and I have a plan that seems to have a chance working! And if it doesn't, then we'll find a way to get by. We just don't want a leader that seems to be beyond our ability to replace, is all," Severus ranted.

Lily gasped. "I thought you said that you'd changed!"

"I have. I'm not loyal to the Dark Lord. I don't want to go around killing people for revenge, etc."

"But- but you're still talking about the Death Eaters as if still agree with their goals-"

"There is no good and evil. There's only power, Lily," Severus said with conviction.

Well, apparently his convert enthusiasm hadn't really gone anywhere. It was slightly disturbing, but not altogether unsurprising. This was too reminiscent of their old arguments that they were constantly having back in their Hogwarts days, when they were still friends.

"I want you to give it up. This- this whatever it is. That's what I want you to do, Severus," Lily said quickly.

"Not until the Dark Lord is defeated."

A long silence lapsed between them. Severus had to give her the time to come to the right conclusion. It was the only conclusion considering he hadn't given her a true choice.

"All right."

Her voice sounded small and scared. Her head was bent over and she was staring at her lap, her hair a curtain of red, flowing around her face and shoulders. Severus ached to touch it, but he didn't dare.

"I'll do it."

Severus closed his eyes. He was very glad that Lily agreed. He wasn't all that enthusiastic about the prospect of using any Unforgiveables on her.

"You'll have to be careful. If word gets back to the Dark Lord about what we're doing, we're all dead. If the Order finds out, we're going to Azkaban."

It went without saying, but it had to be said. Death or incarceration were the options if they failed. Severus had no intention of leaving Lily without some form of hope.

"Of course, if it comes to the Order finding out, I'll do anything necessary to keep you out of Azkaban," Severus told her earnestly.

"But I'll just tell them the truth," Lily stated rather pompously.

People would think the worst, even with Veritaserum. Lily was so naïve in some ways. She usually tried to see the good in everyone.

"I think you'll find if it comes to that, they won't care."

His voice was hard. She had to see, but he hated to be the one to have to make her open her eyes.

"Of course they will!" she shouted indignantly.

"Did you tell Potter or anyone else that I'm a Death Eater yet?" Severus queried lightly.

"Well no- I've not had time."

Severus snorted. He was seriously fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"The moment you didn't tell precious Potter the Auror trainee what I was, you broke the law; of your own volition, at that."

She paled slightly.

"Aiding and abetting, I believe they call it. It warrants a stay in Azkaban."

She groaned. "Oh Merlin! What have I got myself into, Sev?"

"I often ask myself the same question," he responded dryly.

Severus was worried for her. She'd be tested that very evening as she had an Order meeting to attend. Severus didn't envy her at all. At least she was no longer crying. That had to be something, right?

Without thinking, he pulled one of hands into his and made small circles on the back of it with his thumb.

"It'll turn out fine. You'll see. You'll do great."

He gave her a small smile of encouragement.

"I'll be right here when you get back."

Lily merely nodded and let out a deep breath.

"I shouldn't trust you, Severus. But Merlin help me, I do."

Severus wasn't one to ever get his hopes up, but he really liked hearing Lily Evans say that to him.