The Long Way

Three weeks later, it was well into the fall, and Lily was sure that the trees had never been more colourful, the sun had never been so warm, and school had never been so pleasant. She had forgotten all about the nightmare of several weeks ago.

She and Remus had been together almost daily since that first evening together, flanked by their friends. This was just fine with Moira and Evie, as they got the chance to be even closer to the dashing James and Sirius. Moira had been aggressively pursuing Sirius from the very first, and, being Sirius, he had responded accordingly. Evie was just as taken with James, and though he reciprocated, it was obvious to everyone that he was not terribly interested in her - everyone, that is, except Evie.

One October afternoon, the six of them - and Peter - were sitting in the common room in pairs, talking about the various homework assignments they had that weekend.

Moira huffed. "They would give us all this work on a Hogsmeade weekend."

"I know," Evie said. "I don't know how I'll get it all done and still spend all tomorrow at Honeydukes."

James, whom she was leaning on, raised an eyebrow. "You thinking of not going?"

"Oh, of course not!" Evie quickly added. "Of course I'm going. I'll just have to spend the next day in here working on my Transfiguration essay."

"Oh." James nodded and sank back into silence. He was quieter than he used to be, Lily noticed. After a moment, he moved out from under Evie and crawled out the portrait hole without saying goodbye.

Evie had watched him leave, but didn't call to him like she usually would. She merely sat up and crossed her legs, pulling her book onto her lap. "But anyway, Mo," Evie began, but never finished. Moira and Sirius had slid into a corner and were no longer doing homework.

Evie shook her head. "How do those two go at it all the time?"

Lily was lying with her head on Remus's knee. She nudged Evie with her foot. "What's your problem?"

"They are a bit much, aren't they?" Remus said.

Evie just shook her head again and looked at her book.

Lily looked up at Remus, and they both shrugged, turning back to their books and trying to ignore the giggles and whispers that were coming from the corner.

Lily, Moira and Evie went down to breakfast the next morning with their jackets and scarves. It was a mild autumn, but still breezy enough to make their hands cold. As they ate breakfast, the boys walked into the Great Hall and sat with them, though James conspicuously was sitting across from Evie rather than beside her. The group spent the rest of breakfast discussing the plans for the day until it was finally time to check out and head to the village.

In Hogsmeade, the couples - and Peter - first went to Honeydukes. The wizard sweet shop was just as colourful as the trees outside, and bustling with activity. The friends had to squeeze their way from one place to another until finally they found a gap in a corner big enough for all of them to stand and breathe comfortably. Moira and Evie were quickly grabbing up assorted Chocolate Frogs and Every-Flavour Beans and whatever else they could fit in their hands. The boys were now all looking at a display for magic pranks - most of them not as destructive as they would have wished to find - while Lily helped her friends shop.

About an hour or so later, the group emerged with Moira and Evie holding large bags stuffed with treats, and James and Sirius with smaller bags and mischievous looks. They went to the Hog's Head for lunch, and found a table big enough for all of them next to the window.

Remus and the others went to order their lunches, while Lily, Evie and Moira sat and began going through the girls' purchases.

"...and I'm so glad they were having a sale on Sugar Quills," Moira said. "I used all mine up the first week of History of Magic."

"Oh, and Lily," Evie said, diving back into her large sack, "we got something for you, as well."

"Oh?" Lily was surprised. She hadn't bought anything. Being from a Muggle family that was none too well-off, she was used to conserving spending money, and hadn't brought any money today.

Evie grinned, rising back up. "Here it is." She handed the small package to Lily. Lily opened it and pulled out a small tube.

"Lipstick?" she said, trying not to sound disappointed. She was hoping for a Sugar Quill or two herself.

"Not just lipstick," Moira said. "It's scented, flavoured, and charmed with a couple of special charms."

"Ah...well..."

"It takes whatever flavour or scent you're thinking of, and..." Moira looked at Evie.

"It says, well, it says you can hear what he's thinking when he kisses you," Evie finished quietly.

Lily's eyebrows rose. "You can't charm lipstick to read minds, Evie!"

"Hey," Moira said seriously, "Honeydukes doesn't lie, Lily. If they say it does, you can bet it does."

"Well, it seems they've changed their policy." Lily shook her head. "Thanks guys, but I really don't think you should have spent any Galleons on this."

"Don't worry," Moira shrugged. "We nicked it."

"What?!" Lily shrieked, attracting attention from the surrounding tables.

"Shh!" Evie hissed. "She's kidding, obviously. We wouldn't nick something like that."

Lily huffed and stuffed the maroon tube into her purse. Such a waste of money. Even if it did work, which it doesn't, but even if it did, I couldn't use it. That is such an invasion. I mean, I wouldn't like it if someone could hear what I was thinking without my knowing about...

"Nut?"

"What?" Lily turned. Remus was sitting next to her now. She must have been completely lost in thought, because she hadn't even noticed him sitting down. He set a bottle of Butterbeer in front her.

"Knut for your thoughts?"

"Oh, uh..." Lily shook the confusion from her head. "Nothing, just, you know, thinking about, um, Arithmancy homework. Complicated."

"Ah." Remus nodded and drank from his bottle.

"Not fair, Evans," James said. "You know the rule, no school business in Hogsmeade."

Lily gave a short smile back. "Right."

"Speaking of school business," Evie said, giving James an annoyed look that he didn't notice. "I got some colour-changing ink for my Defense Against the Dark Arts assignments. Maybe it'll make it more interesting."

"You don't think Defense Against the Dark Arts is interesting?" Remus asked.

"Not particularly." Evie shrugged. "I mean, who have we got to defend ourselves from? Durmstrang's not going to invade, are they?"

"That's a rather cavalier attitude," Sirius interjected.

"I just don't see the point of sitting around reading about horrible things that happened to people dozens of years ago and then writing about how to fight it. It's as bad as History of Magic."

"Although," Moira said, "it's not like everything we study in DADA is dead and gone. I mean, we're working on werewolves now, right? And lord knows there are plenty of them running around free now."

Lily noticed Sirius and James giving each other significant looks. Peter stared at Remus, while Remus looked intently at his Butterbeer.

"That's true," Evie replied, both she and Moira oblivious to the boys' reactions. "I don't know what I'd do if I ran into one of them. They must be absolutely terrifying."

"I wonder what they're like, you know, as people," Moira mused. "I mean, when they spend so much time going around biting people and eating small woodland creatures, you can't imagine they are very pleasant as human beings, can you?"

Evie and Moira giggled. Peter's eyes were almost bulging as he looked between the three fellows across from him. Sirius looked agitated. James was huffing quietly to himself. Remus was still staring down at his drink, appearing not to listen. Lily couldn't quite take all this in. Were they that afraid of werewolves?

After a moment or two, Moira and Evie had moved on to a new subject dealing with popular wizard music groups, and James and Sirius seemed to be a bit more at ease. Remus finally lifted his head and turned to Lily.

"Do you want to take a walk?"

"Sure," Lily nodded. As they stood and walked out, Moira called out to them, "Stick close now, Lily!"

Evie and Moira erupted into another giggle fit. Lily just shook her head at Remus's inquisitive expression and they left. They walked along the street holding hands, looking at various window displays and discussing their friends and classes. Lily was so happy. They were laughing and talking, and she knew the day would end far too soon.

Finally, Remus led her over to a bench next to the large fountain in the middle of the square. They sat down, and he kissed her. As often as this happened, and it happened often now, Lily never got less excited. After a few moments, Remus drew back and looked at Lily. She was smiling, and the wind was blowing her hair around her face, making a very pretty picture.

"Lily, I've been meaning to tell you..." He paused.

"Yes?"

"I'm leaving next week for a few days," Remus said evenly.

Lily blinked. "Oh?"

Remus nodded. "You know, I go to visit my mother for a few days every month. She's lonely and relies on me quite a bit..."

Lily nodded. "Oh, well, that's nice of you."

Remus shifted. "Yes, well, I suppose so. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I probably won't be able to write or anything, and seeing as I will only be gone a few days..."

"Oh, that's all right," Lily said quickly. "We can catch up on everything when you get back, right?"

"Right." They turned and watched the fountain for a bit. Lily noticed Remus was not his usual self, and hadn't been all day. He was distant, brooding. More reserved than usual. Lily supposed it had to do with leaving next week. Maybe he would miss her. Surely that was it.

Monday came, and Remus was gone. He had said goodbye to Lily the night before, but it still was odd to wake up and not see him for breakfast. Lily went into the Great Hall for breakfast, as usual, but could barely open her eyes. She had had another bad night, another bad dream involving blurred images, and still had the usual "morning-after" headache. Moira and Sirius were nowhere in sight. Evie sat down with a huff as Lily was putting some jam on her toast.

"All alone this morning?" Lily asked as she took a bite. Evie just shrugged. Lily set a glass of pumpkin juice in front of her friend.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Who says there's anything to talk about?"

"Oh, c'mon, Evie." Lily gave a small smile. "Whenever you lose your appetite, it has to be serious."

Evie spun around on the bench to leave. Lily grabbed her arm as she tried to stand.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to pick on you."

Evie shrugged and muttered, "Doesn't matter." She then quickly stood and walked out. Lily's head began pounding even harder.

Thursday evening, Moira and Evie went to the Great Hall to relax James and Sirius, while Lily stayed in the common room doing homework. It occurred to her for the first time how much her life had changed because of Remus. This was the first night in three weeks she hadn't seen him, and she was surprisingly lonely in this room full of loud, rambunctious students.

Suddenly, the portrait hole opened, and James and Evie crawled through. James had a stormy look on his face, and Evie seemed to be shrieking at him. The whole room had paused in their activities to watch the excitement.

"What is your problem?" Evie was wailing. "You've been like this for days now, and it's driving me crazy. Whatever is bothering you has nothing to do with me, and I'm tired of putting up with it!"

"Then don't!" James shouted back at her. "And how do you know it has nothing to do with you? How do you know I'm not just sick and tired of you nagging me and following me everywhere? We're not married or anything, you know. I was just hanging out with you for a couple of laughs, but this is too much."

Evie looked stricken. "Fine then! I won't make you put up with me any longer! You are the most selfish, self-absorbed, arrogant--"

"You know those all mean the same thing, right?" James shouted over her. "Or don't you know more than twenty-five words?"

Lily gasped. Evie went quiet, staring at James, as tears streamed down her face. He stood, glaring at her, red-faced. He was obviously venting a lot of thoughts he had been holding in for quite some time. Finally, Evie ran up the stairs to her dorm room, pushing James roughly out of the way, causing him to almost lose his balance.

Lily was shocked. She began to gather her things together to go and comfort Evie, when she noticed James staring at her. He was, also, a bit red-eyed. He looked worn, but more than that, he was looking at Lily in a way he hadn't before. Was he looking for sympathy?

Tough luck, mate, she thought. You may be Remus's closest friend, but Evie is mine.

She gathered her things and walked up the stairs. Had she been able, she would have seen James standing in the position she left him, looking up the stairs minutes after she had disappeared.

Lily walked into the dorm to see the curtains drawn completely around Evie's bed. She could hear her sobbing heavily into her pillow, and hesitated interrupting. After all, what could she say that her friend would care to hear?

Lily set her books on her bed and sat next to them for a moment. She wished Remus were here. She could talk to him, and he could talk to James, and maybe that would relieve some of the tension that was surely going to exist now. But, for the moment, it was left up to her.

She stood and walked over to Evie's bed. "Evie?" she said softly.

"Go away," Evie said in an unconvincing voice.

Lily stood there for a moment. "Evie, do you want anything?"

The curtains flew back to reveal Evie sitting in the middle of her bed. Her eyes were completely red now, her face puffy and her makeup was in stripes due to the massive amount of tears that she had shed.

"Evie!" Lily said.

"He - he said - he said -"

"I know what he said," Lily interrupted, hugging her friend. "I was in the common room."

"Lily, you don't think I'm stupid, do you?"

"Of course not!" Lily said forcefully. "Did he call you stupid?"

"Well, you heard what he said down there...do I only know twenty-five words...."

"Yes, that was rather harsh. But what happened before?"

"Well..." Evie took a breath, speaking between squeaky hiccups. "We were sitting in the Great Hall, and Sirius and Moira were, well, doing what they normally do, and so I tried to lean over and kiss James and - oh, Lily!"

Lily wrinkled her forehead. "What? What happened?"

"He pushed me away!" Evie sobbed. "He said to get off him and leave him alone, and that I never leave him alone, and I'm always bothering him, and he's tired of me hanging around all the time, and..." Her voice trailed off as she flung her face back into her pillow and continued sobbing.

Lily patted her friend's back. "You know," she began weakly, "if he talked to you like that, then you know he's not near good enough for you...certainly not worth you crying over..."

But this just drove Evie into deeper sobs. Finally, after about twenty minutes, Lily gave up. She set some pumpkin juice on Evie's nightstand and walked downstairs to the common room. By now she was so furious at James Potter she wanted to find him and tell him off herself.

I mean, sure, Evie is a bit ditsy, and she was being a bit pushy, but she did not deserve to be treated like this! What a git, thinking he can just shove her around like that. If I get my hands on him...

He wasn't in the common room, so she crawled through the portrait hole and slowly made her way to the Great Hall, taking care to check every possible alternate route he could have taken. She was on a mission.

Finally, she arrived in the Great Hall and saw him sitting with Sirius, Moira and Peter. He was playing with a Snitch again, his favourite pastime. She stopped at the entryway and watched him for a moment.

There he sat, laughing and talking as though nothing had happened, showing off, as usual. Anger boiled inside her, and she marched over to him.

James saw her coming and gave a cautious smile. He stood to greet her. "Evans, well fi--"

*CRACK* Lily had thrown her entire weight into that slap, all of her anger and rage only slightly dissipated.

James was hit so hard he was thrown off balance, almost off his feet. Moira and Sirius were now standing on the other side of the table, open-mouthed. Peter was the only one still sitting, his hand covering his mouth.

Lily merely stood her ground, fuming, annoyed that the one hit had not served to soothe her hatred - yes, she hated him right now, more than she ever had before.

James straightened back up and turned to look at her, a shining red handprint on the side of his face. He levelled his gaze at her and gave a humourless smirk.

"All right, Evans. You've got that out of you. Now your friend," he practically sneered the last word, "can suck it up and move on."

Lily couldn't contain herself any longer. "You're the most foul, loathsome prat in the whole world, and if I had my way I'd - I'd -"

"You'd what, Evans?"

Lily pulled back to hit him again, closed-fisted, but this time he was ready. James caught her hand barely an inch from his face. He squeezed her wrist so tightly it hurt, and pulled her almost nose to nose with him. She saw again how tall he was, several inches above her, practically towering over her.

"Now, see here, Evans..." he said in a low voice.

"My name is Lily," she returned in an equal tone.

He ignored her retort. "You've had your say, all right? Now turn around and go back upstairs."

Lily was now wincing from the pain in her wrist. He was actually hurting her. She was, suddenly, afraid.

"'Kay, Prongs," Sirius said. "That's enough. Let it go."

The two stood there for a moment, unmoving. James loosened his grip, but did not let her go. He was staring into her eyes. Again, Lily was afraid, but it had instantly changed into a different kind of fear. The look in his eyes was now almost predatory.

"Let me go," she said through clenched teeth.

James blinked and his expression instantly softened. He didn't look like the same person he was moments before. And again, in a strange whirlwind of emotions, she was terribly confused. I hate him, I hate him...I hate him?

"Please," she said, this time in a normal tone.

James smiled softly. "All right, Evans."

And before she knew what was happening, he gave her a small kiss on the nose, then lowered and released her hand, which was no longer a fist, but hanging limp.

Lily was in shock. She was confused. She was embarrassed. She quickly spun and half-ran out of the Great Hall. She ran outside and around the castle to the dogwood trees. She sat under the tree where she and Remus came to sit so often.

Lily was shaking with...anger? fear? hate? shock? She didn't know anymore. Where was Remus? Why was she so confused? A few hours ago, everything seemed so simple. She lowered her head, and tears of frustration began to fill her eyes.

"Who is he? Who does he think he is that he can push people around like that all the time, and then just get out of it by turning on the charm as though he were flipping a Snitch - I mean, switch..." Here, in the privacy of the greenhouses, she was letting spill out all the emotions she tried so hard to hide in the common room. "He can't treat people this way. How does Remus stand him? What possible good points can he have?"

I can think of a couple...

Lily gasped. Had she thought that? Did that come from her mind? Surely not. Surely not!

Lily sat with her thoughts going back and forth like a tennis match. Before long it was almost completely dark outside, and she decided to walk back inside. Dinner had already started by now, she knew, and she was suddenly hungry. As she walked toward the main door, she straightened her skirt and tried to make herself look normal, as though she had just gone for a pleasant evening walk.

As soon as she walked in the door, there was James Potter, sitting against the wall. Lily glanced at him, then quickly looked the other way and started to walk more quickly.

"Wait," James called out. "Wait, Evans! Wait! Lily!"

Hearing him say her name stopped her in her tracks. She didn't turn around, but she heard him walking up behind her. He moved in front of her and looked down at her.

"Lily," he said softly, nicely, she noticed. "I'm - I'm sorry, about in there. I lost my temper."

She looked up at him and then quickly back down. What was he trying to pull?

"Well," he continued, "I mean, you had hit me, so I suppose I'm a bit entitled to be a little upset." He paused.

She looked up at him again, this time holding his gaze. He looked sincere.

"But, I shouldn't have hurt you like that. I'm sorry."

Lily nodded, unable to find her voice. She had not expected this, and was not happy about it, either. She wanted to stay mad at him, because as long as she was mad at him, she knew how she felt about him. But now...

"And, about Evie," he continued.

Yes, here it comes, blame it on Evie, I can't wait...

"I'll apologize to her first thing in the morning. Will that suit you?"

Lily blinked. What? "Uh, yes, yes, that's..." Her voice left her.

What is going on?

James nodded. "Okay then."

They stood there a second or two longer, and James finally turned and entered the Great Hall. Lily stood, dumbfounded. She had definitely not expected this.

Lily did not stay in the Great Hall for dinner. She gathered Moira and some plates and they fixed themselves and Evie something to eat, and left for their dorm. Moira chattered the whole way there about Sirius and James and Evie, but Lily did not pay much attention, and Moira never seemed to notice Lily never so much as responded.

Evie had stopped crying by now but was still looking miserable. Her hair and face were a mess, but she smiled when she saw her friends.

"Thanks so much, guys." She took a plate filled with chicken, potatoes, and various helpings of vegetables. "I was afraid to go down there. I don't really feel like seeing...anyone...right now."

Lily nodded. She understood completely. When will Remus get back? Lily began thinking of Remus. How would she explain she had belted - well, had tried to belt - his best mate? Would he understand? Of course he would. Even Sirius didn't try to stick up for him...

"You should've seen her, Evie," Moira suddenly burst.

"Who?" Evie said between bites.

"Lily." At the mention of her name, Lily snapped out of her reverie.

"Why? What happened?" Evie was gulping down her pumpkin juice so fast she almost gagged.

"She hit him!" Moira exclaimed.

"What?!" Evie cried. "Oh, Lil! How could you?"

Lily and Moira looked at each other.

"How could I?" Lily was annoyed at Evie's reaction. "You were crying! Balling, more like. I saw him yell at you in front of everyone - what was I supposed to do? Nothing?"

Evie was despondent. "No - I mean - I don't know." She paused and gazed into her pumpkin juice for a moment. She looked back up at Lily. "I mean - thanks, Lil." Evie gave a weak smile.

Lily smiled back and put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Oh!" Moira said. "But you'll never guess what happened next!"

"What?" Evie looked at Moira. Lily's eyes got big. She shook her head to try and signal for Moira to stop.

"Well, Lily tried to hit him again because he was mouthing off at her, and he--"

"--Caught my hand halfway there," Lily finished, giving Moira a significant look. She had no desire for word to spread of James's kissing her, benign though it was, especially to a friend of hers he had just hurt.

Evie looked at Lily. "Caught it?"

Lily just nodded. "Yes, he must've been expecting it, I suppose. But anyway, we had a few words, and that was it. It's all over now."

Moira finally understood. "Yes, yes, all over. Sirius was going to talk to him over dinner tonight. In fact..." Moira paused. "Sirius said they were going to go for a walk for dinner. That's one of the reasons I went ahead and helped Lily carry up your food - although, of course, I would've anyway, Evie," she added quickly. "I wouldn't have left you alone tonight."

"Funny," Evie said, as though she didn't hear that last part. "The last few nights they've been missing most or all of dinner. Have you noticed?"

"Of course she noticed," Lily smiled. "Moira's not used to having her mouth to herself for more than twenty minutes at a time."

Moira chunked a pillow at Lily. The three girls laughed heartily, as they needed it after the evening's sombre activities.

"Still," Evie continued, "you have to admit, it's odd. They've been gone every night this week...since Remus left..."

"Yeah," Moira nodded. "That's true. I hadn't noticed that. I wonder where they go off to?"

"How long until he gets back, Lil?" Evie asked.

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. He said it would only be for a few days. And he hasn't written or anything, so I really don't know." The mention of Remus's name had brought to mind the memory of a kiss, but it wasn't from Remus.

The girls talked for a while longer, then around 9:30 Lily excused herself and went to take a shower.

As she stood in the steam-filled bathroom, her mind wandered.

What will Remus say when he finds out about James kissing me like that - right in front of his best friends? Of course, I have to tell him, don't I? It wouldn't be right not to. I mean, I'd want to know...I think...

But I don't want to cause any problems between him and his friends. Still, that was uncalled for on James's part. And Remus is my boyfriend. But, it's not like I kissed him back. He kissed me, and not even a real kiss.

No, I won't tell him. If he asks, then fine. But, really, in the grand scheme of things, there's nothing to tell.

That night, Lily went to bed resolved mentally, but emotionally, she was still very confused.