Harry Potter and the Dragon

VIII

A Sensible Plan

A black carriage flew through the air and collapsed against a stone wall, just before an enormous blaze of fire wrapped its broken pieces.

"M-Master... you shouldn't have done that... now, how is this man supposed to go back to the village?" said the quaking voice of Lupin the candlestick. "T-that was our only carriage -"

"AND SO WHAT?!!" a bellow shot through the chilly air.

The dragon, some woken up household objects, and Hagrid, were in the manor's grounds, in the process of releasing the half-giant. The beast was still so annoyed that discharged his fury on the biggest object his claws were closer to. "GO AWAY NOW, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A HUMAN THING!!! GO AWAY NOW, BEFORE I REGRET LETTING YOU FREE AND KEEP YOU FOR BREAKFAST!!!"

Hagrid didn't need more persuasion and ran towards the gates as fast as he could. Before reaching them, however, he spotted Buckbeak hidden behind the same bush he had used as a shelter hours ago. "Beaky?! Oh, Beaky, quick, let's get out o' this place!! We 'ave ter go back home, find a way of rescuin' Harry... It's all me fault, all me fault... I should 'ave fought tha' evil beast! Bu' better go and ask fer help!"

And seeing the inhabitants of the manor had gone back to the building, he mounted Buckbeak and took off, his eyes resting on the well protected tower he knew Harry was in, every particle of his big heart aching in despair.

***

Inside the manor, the dragon was on his four legs, fuming through his nostrils as he paced in front of the fireplace. "You'll never understand how scared I was when I saw him. I almost threw the mirror away in shock, but knowing that that would have been really stupid I restrained myself. I'm not someone who commits fool deeds, not even when I got a bit carried away... Now, what's coming - is what I fear the most." The dragon then felt silent.

"Yes, Master. The resemblance of that man with the one who cast this horrible curse upon us is astounding. However, I doubt they are the same person. The latter didn't wear glasses for a start, or had that strange mark upon -"

"HOW CAN YOU BE THAT STUPID, SNAPE?! OF COURSE HE COULD HAVE GONE SHORT-SIGHTED, OR FALLEN FROM A TREE, OR SOMETHING!! AFTER SO MANY YEARS LIVING WITH ME, HOW COME YOU HAVEN'T LEARNT TO USE YOUR -?? Oh, sorry, I forgot you left your brains in your former body!!" said the dragon through a draconic smirk.

The clock held a response that could be deduced by his sour expression. The candlestick spoke instead. "Master, you had a point when you referred to what's coming... It may be a little frightening, I know, but it's the solution we've been waiting for! The fact that the evil sorcerer and this young man look like each other may be a sign! We have to struggle for our plan to work out! We have to seize this opportunity -!"

"WHAT PLAN?!! Have you been planning without my knowledge?!!" asked the dragon glaring at the objects that stood in an obedient row on the mantelpiece.

"Well, I just thought that we could try to make this young fellow get acquainted with you, so you both could... well, I don't know... maybe you both could get along, so... sometimes, feelings lead one person towards another, and -"

"WHAT??? DO YOU WANT ME TO TUMBLE THAT ASSHOLE?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?? DO YOU THINK I FANCY SLEEPING WITH BLOKES?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO?? DO YOU THINK I SPEND MY TIME FANTASIZING ABOUT NAUGHTY ACTS WITH POOFS?? DO YOU THINK I WASTE MY TIME DOING TEENAGE STUFF?? THAT I DREAM -!!??"

The candlestick found a tiny gap in his master's furious speech. "Master, I didn't mean that exactly, I'm talking about the curse, about what that old beggar in disguise said, about the rose he left behind, the one that has begun to wilt... Master, you have to give yourself the chance to feel something -"

"I KNOW! I KNOW! I'M NOT STUPID, I ALREADY TOLD YOU! I thought about that too... but HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO START FEELING THAT THING... LOVE... ABOUT SOMEONE I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT, AND ON COMPULSION?? I DON'T LIKE BEING FORCED, YOU KNOW THAT!!... and I don't think it will work. I'm rather BIG, remember? I'm rather UGLY and SCARY, you know?!! Luckily I'm full of qualities in spite of that; otherwise I'd already eaten that idiot instead of keeping him locked..."

"You see, Master? Even you think that it could come out right... It's our only chance to -" said sweetly Mrs. Weasley, the teapot, before being interrupted by her Master.

"I see you're all very much interested in me jumping into that dickhead's arms, aren't you?? AREN'T YOU?? YOU THINK I DON'T REALIZE YOU'RE TRYING TO USE ME, TO MAKE ME DO VICIOUS STUFF SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WRETCHED BODIES BACK -!!??"

"Yeah, like we're not screwed because of you in the first place..." a voice hissed from the shadows.

"WHO SAID THAT???!!! WHOOO SAAAID THAAAT???!!!"

"Master, I'm sorry, but I think you should give it a try in the name of everyone here in the manor! We've been serving you all this time and our loyalty has never wavered, not even when you've broken to pieces some of our household fellows during a tantrum!" said severely Mrs. Weasley, after burning with steam her son Ron as a punishment for having spilled his mind so carelessly.

"Stupid Weasley tea set. Always affronting me..." hissed the dragon through clenched fangs.

"I think Mrs. Weasley's right, Master. Your late father would have never liked to see you like this, turned into a four-legged being. And I'm sure, for what I knew him, that he would have approved what I agree is an inappropriate relationship, instead of you having to cope with this lifestyle. Please, take your time, and think about it."

Snape, the clock, had spoken.

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'LL DO IT!! I HATE COPING WITH YOU TELLING ME OFF AND GIVING ME STUPID ADVICE MORE THAN THIS LIFESTYLE, I ASSURE YOU!!!"

The dragon made it to the door, but before he could get away, the candlestick called after him. "Master, due to the fact that the boy will spend with us a rather long time, why don't you start by providing better lodgings for him? It could be -"

"SHUT UP!!" was what the dragon said before storming out of the drawing room.