Where Do All The Rabbits Go?

Where Do All The Rabbits Go?

The two goblins rode along the sharp back ridge, the huge lupine mounts sure footed in the loose rubble. Arms and armour jingled as they rode partly muffled by the cloths wrapped around their muzzles. Together with their heavy cloaks these guarded against the corrosive sulphuric fumes rising from the river of lava below. Pennants hung from their lances, limp in the still air. A wicked infernal sharpness around the fangs and claws of the gigantic wolves spoke of their supernatural nature.

They paused at the top of the ridge, and gazed across the hellish landscape towards the grim citadel ahead of them. There was a muted pop and a small furry ball dropped onto the first goblin.

"By the Mighty, it's happening again!"

"This is odd."

The second goblin caught the rabbit before it could hit the ground and be eaten by their wolves.

"But... rabbits! Why am I being pelted with rabbits?"

There was another pop, and then a few more in short succession. Soon both wolves were chomping on rabbits and the second goblin had a dozen sitting on his upturned shield. The first goblin poked the terrified creatures with a gauntleted finger.

"First snails, then mice, now rabbits!"

"I've heard of plagues of locusts, and fish and such, but those have always been on the scale of nations, not just one goblin. Are you sure you didn't offend a sorcerer? A very weak sorcerer?"

"No! You've been nearby all the time, who could be doing this?"

The second goblin picked up one of the rabbits and turned it over, shook it, listened to it. He put it back down and shrugged.

"I don't know. Any one who would go to this much trouble, I would expect them to rain down fire and destruction, not tasty snack-sized creatures."

The first goblin glowered at the dull red sky.

"I swear, if I ever find out who is doing this, I'll cut them open and strangle them with their own guts."

"Look, it's happening again."

The rabbits slowly vanished with muted pops, leaving as oddly as they had come. Soon there was no trace but a few flecks of rabbit fur.

"That's it, when we get to the citadel, I want you to summon up whatever forces you know and find out what in the name of the Mighty is happening. I am not going to let this go on and find myself riding into battle under a gentle rain of... vole's or something!"

"Well, they have been getting bigger, so I doubt it would be voles. More likely, deer or badgers or ... oh, elf maids if you wait long enough."

"What, snails, mice, and rabbits, lead to badgers and elf-maids?"

"It makes as much sense as anything else."

The first goblin glared at the other and chivvied his mount forward. He snarled over his shoulder as he rode.

"You, oh great shaman, are going to find out what's doing this so I can butcher them."

"I shall bend all my powers to finding this diabolical rabbit-chucker."

"And stop bloody laughing!"

* * * * * *

"Professor...."

"I think some more practice might be in order Neville. Try to avoid bringing the rabbit back as if it's been chewed on by wolves? Good, now class, that is all, please return your rabbits... if you have whole ones to the box on your way out. Try to avoid stepping in the mess. Dismissed."