Lily's Tears

Lily Evans sat on her four-poster bed, clutching her knees to her chest. Her eyes threatened to overflow with tears, but she held them back long enough to decide that she should change into her nightdress before settling down for a good cry. She gave a frustrated sigh and slipped off her bed, storming over to her trunk. She carefully slithered out of her exquisite white robes, then removed a delicately embroidered nightgown from the recesses of the wooden-and-leather box and tugged it over her head. She pulled a plethora of hairpins out of her thick auburn hair and placed them in a small, bejeweled box on her nightstand. Turning down the bed, she crawled in and curled up into a ball around a particularly fluffy pillow. The tears held back no longer.

"How could I have been so utterly stupid?" Lily raged at herself. "I brought this all on myself. It's my fault he's gone. Oh, God! What have I done?"

Lily's best friend Olivia Wallingford leaned against the doorframe while Lily cried herself to sleep. Olivia's eyes welled up with tears. It broke her heart to see her best friend in so much pain.

Lily and Olivia had been best friends since their first year at Hogwarts. They had met when Olivia had accidentally stepped on the hem of Narcissa Vermouth's robes on the Hogwarts Express. Narcissa, being the snobby little rich girl that she was, had ripped Olivia's most prized possession, her dead mother's locket, from her throat and said she was going to throw it out the window. Olivia had pleaded with Narcissa, telling her she would pay for a new one if only she would return the locket to her. Narcissa had informed Olivia that tossing her locket out of the window would teach her a lesson that replacing her torn robes would not. Lily, who had happened to be passing by the compartment, heard what was going on. She swiftly grabbed a dungbomb

from a passerby's arm and lobbed it into the compartment. Lily had then snuck in and slipped the locket from Narcissa's hand. Narcissa had had a coughing fit and stumbled out of the cloudy compartment, forgetting about the locket. When the spell had worn off, Lily triumphantly handed Olivia's locket to her. Five years later, they were as close as sisters.

Olivia wished that Lily's troubles were all as simple as hers were, easily solved by an effortless spell. Olivia found herself in the position of being the pillar of strength now, a position that was usually occupied by Lily. It was so easy to go to Lily when disasters struck: she was smart and empathetic, always leading the troubled girl in the right direction. Now, in Lily's hour of need, Olivia didn't know if she could rise to the occasion.

"At least she can forget, for now anyways," Olivia said to herself with a sigh. "If only she had listened to herself in the first place. I remember when this all started, months and months ago..."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Lily was just leaving the Gryffindor common room when Skylar Prynne ran up to her, giggling.

"Lily, have I ever got news for you!"

"What is it, Sky? I don't have much time; I'm meeting Olivia in McGonagall's classroom so we can finish our assignment," Lily said, brushing crumbs from dinner off her robes. As much as Lily liked Skylar, she had a reputation of being a gossip and Lily really didn't have a minute to spare, especially for some silly rumor.

"Trust me, you want to hear what I have to tell you! Someone has a crush on you, and you'll never guess who it is!" Skylar squealed.

"Oh! Who?" said Lily, suddenly very interested.

"James Potter!"

"James Potter? James Potter has a crush on me? Get off it! He doesn't even know me. For a second, I thought you were going to say it was Brendan," Lily said, looking downcast. "If James really does have a crush on me, then I'm flattered, but..."

"Lily! Honestly, what a prat you can be sometimes. James is so much better than that loser Brendan Davies. Do you have amnesia? Do you remember what Brendan did to you? I think you should give James a chance," Skylar said, folding her arms across her chest and giving Lily a patronizing look. "Maybe you're soul mates." Skylar was overly romantic, and Lily pointed this out to her before replying.

"Sky, you don't understand. I remember what Brendan did, but...he was confused! He needed to focus on Quidditch. He's positive he's going to play for Scotland, and he needs to train," Lily said defensively. "Besides, James and I don't even know each other. How can he like me if he doesn't even know me?"

"Well, he's always staring at you in Charms, and he's always telling Colette and me how positively gorgeous you are. In fact, he asked me to tell you that he had a crush on you, and he wanted to know how you reacted. So what should I tell Mister Potter?" Skylar smiled impishly at Lily.

"You can tell him that if he has any further messages, he can deliver them to me himself. You can also tell him that I'm flattered, and if he would like to get to know me better, we could hang out as friends. But don't make a big deal of it. Promise? I don't want to make Brendan think I've forgotten about him or anything." Lily flushed at the last part. "Oh, no! Sky, I have to get going, I'm already ten minutes late!" Lily said, climbing out of the common room.

"Talk to you later then!" Skylar yelled as Lily swung the portrait shut.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Lily Evans. So good of you to grace us with your presence," Professor McGonagall said.

Lily apologized and explained that she was late because she had "a, er, personal problem."

"It's unlike you to be so lackadaisical, Miss Evans. Five points from Gryffindor for tardiness," McGonagall said sternly. "Take a seat next to Miss Wallingford."

Later in the lesson, as Lily was attempting to transfigure a carrot into a rabbit, Olivia leaned over.

"What's this 'personal problem' all about?" she whispered.

"Olivia, you won't believe what Skylar's saying now. She claims that James Potter fancies me," Lily whispered back.

"Oh, so she finally told you, did she? Well it's the truth--he's been sweet on you for months now."

"You knew and you didn't tell me?" Lily said, looking hurt.

"I know I should have said something, but you were with that dolt Brendan. Honestly, I can't understand why you chose him over his brother Theo." Lily stared at her carrot for a while, thinking of a way to respond to Olivia's statement about her choice of Brendan over Theo. Brendan and Theodore Davies were identical twins in their sixth year. Both were powerfully built and were extremely handsome with their dark blue eyes and curly golden blonde hair. Yet, even though they were identical, the two were as different as night and day. Theo was shy and kind whereas Brendan was more extroverted. Both boys had vied for Lily's attention when they met her at Colette Muldoon's birthday last year.

"Because Brendan was special. I really liked him. Theo was too quiet for me, anyways," Lily said with a sigh. Olivia snorted.

"If 'special' is a synonym for abominable! He dumped you for bloody Quidditch! He used you because you're pretty and he wanted a trophy girlfriend. I hate to say it, but Colette warned you about him at her party, and you blew her off! I love you Lily, but this 'mourning period' has to end. It's intolerable, and you can do so much better. James, for instance."

"Well, James is smart, and from what I've heard, he's terribly nice...but I haven't had closure yet! It's hard to deal with right now," Lily complained. Olivia rolled her eyes and turned back to her carrot.

"Keratalis Agnimalis!" Olivia said, flicking her wrist. A little black rabbit appeared where the carrot once was. Lily frowned and looked at her carrot. Although Lily was possibly the smartest in her year, she struggled with Transfiguration. During her first four years at Hogwarts, she had been able to disguise her shortcomings in Transfiguration with her knowledge, but as their classes advanced to more practical lessons in her fifth year she wasn't able to fake her way through it anymore. Olivia wasn't as smart as Lily, but Transfiguration was her best subject, along with Astronomy. Both of them were staying after class for McGonagall because they had been absent the previous day due to an accident in Charms that resulted in Lily and Olivia being sent to the hospital wing and therefore missing subsequent classes.

"Very good, Miss Wallingford. You're progressing nicely," McGonagall said, walking over to where the girls sat. "Miss Evans, I would like a word with you, please." Lily rose from her chair and followed McGonagall to her desk, her hands shaking slightly. She waited nervously as McGonagall took her seat.

"Miss Evans, you are an excellent student as both you and I know. However, it displeases me that you have such troubles with Transfiguration. I have no doubt that it vexes you also. I have decided that the best course of action is to find you a tutor. When I have located a suitable one I will notify you," the professor said, folding her hands in her lap. Lily nodded and returned to her seat.

"You two may return to the Common Room now," McGonagall said as she neatly folded a small piece of parchment and sealed it.

"Good night, Professor," the two girls chorused as they exited the room.

"What did she want to talk to you about, Lily?" Olivia inquired as soon as they were out of the professor's earshot.

"She's going to get me a tutor for Transfiguration. She says I'm not making acceptable progress," Lily said angrily. Olivia shrugged.

"It won't be that bad, Lily. Nobody's perfect."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"What did she say? What were her exact words?" James Potter asked excitedly, wringing his hands. Skylar had just finished talking to Lily and had walked over to the armchair where James was sitting, which was cleverly angled so Lily couldn't see him as he gazed at her adoringly.

James, a tall and athletic fifth year with chocolate brown eyes and adorably untidy black hair, knew that he was in love with Lily from the moment he'd played his first Quidditch match, in his third year. As he had soared around the Quidditch pitch, dodging Bludgers and the Slytherin Chasers, he had seen a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. Thinking it was Bentley Madgeon, a fellow Gryffindor Chaser, with the Quaffle, he had flown down near the Gryffindor side to wait for the pass.

Instead of Bentley, he had seen the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. Attractive auburn hair, flawless white skin, a cute little nose, and those...wonderful, striking green eyes were all it took to make James Potter fall madly in love with Lily Evans. He had done a successful job in his third and most of his fourth years of hiding his love for her, because he had been too shy to confront her, to even dare to look deep into those sparkling pea green eyes. James had finally decided to attempt to talk to her when Sirius threatened to tell Lily about the hundreds of pictures of her that James had in his trunk from Christmas Dinner last year. Of course, all these pictures were damaged because James had to rip that dirt bag Brendan out of the pictures. That filth had defiled his precious, pure Lily and James secretly vowed to get Brendan back when the time was right. Unfortunately, James couldn't find anything terrible enough to do to him yet, but he knew he'd find something soon.

Due to the fact that Sirius kept waving a torn photo of Lily in front of him and laughing maniacally, James knew he had to move fast. He figured the quickest (and most painless) way to approach Lily was to get an ally on his side. Skylar Prynne was one of Lily's good friends and James happened to know that Skylar fancied Sirius Black. Using this knowledge to his advantage, he had cajoled Skylar to tell Lily that he liked her and to find out how she felt about him. Skylar had agreed.

"It is, after all," she had stated sagely, "always best to be in on something like this." (But James knew the blackmail helped her come to that conclusion quickly.)

Now, as James waited for Skylar to speak, he felt his stomach doing somersaults and wondering if this had been such a good idea after all.

"There's good news...and bad news. The bad news is that she thinks you're not allowed to like her because you've never even spoken to her, and she doesn't want to hear anymore of your messages..." James gulped. He felt his stomach drop "...from me, that is. That's the good news. She's extremely flattered, and says that if you want to get to know her better, you could try and be friends with her. And she says you have nice eyes." Skylar said with a grin. 'I'm sure Lily won't mind that I added that last part,' she thought to herself. 'It's sweet that he fancies Lily. She definitely deserves to be happy and she would with James.' Although Lily was quite pretty and smart, she was terribly self-conscious, and the way Brendan treated her when they were dating didn't help one bit. Skylar was positive that once James and Lily got together (and they undoubtedly would, with James' persistence) everything would be perfect. Lily would finally learn what it was like to love and be loved.

James sprang up from his seat with a yell.

"Oh, Sky, I can't thank you enough! How can I ever repay you?" he said, pulling her into a huge hug. Without letting go of her, he began a jubilant Irish jig.

"You can let go of me, for starters!" Skylar said, pushing away. She made her way towards the stairs to the dormitories, but paused and turned to face James. "Oh, yes, I almost forgot...you can return the favor by getting Sirius to go out with me," she said with a sly wink. James just winked back and nodded.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~