Promises and Goodbye

Cho has a secret language with Cedric that involves touches and whispers that nobody else can decipher.

A kiss means I love you and I love you means goodbye because they never say goodbye. Goodbye implies Cedric will leave and never come back, but he always comes back so its always "I love you" never "Good bye".

And they always touch. A touch means, "I'm here" and "I'm here" means that everything will be okay. A hug is for "I missed you" and for keeping promises.

Cedric never breaks his promises. He prides himself on that. He never makes a promise he can't keep and never lies to her. "I promise" means "trust me" and she does.

---

Cho knows Quidditch is a very dangerous game. Anyone could fall off their broom and break their neck and possibly die. She knows that Crabbe and Bole are dirty lying beaters and to watch out for bludgers when she plays Slytherin. She knows Cedric knows, but worries all the same.

The night before every game Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw have to play, Cho sneaks into Cedric's room and casts silencing charms all about. She slips under the covers with him and her body fits against his, as if God himself had made them into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay.

Cedric never wakes up initially, though, and Cho has to kiss him awake, starting from his forehead and moving down until his eyes flutter open.

He's usually awake when she reaches his lips and he wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her on top of him, pressing their bodies together.

Cedric's fingers, at first, are always gentle and soft like feathers against Cho's skin. He slips her clothes off slowly, fearing that if he goes too fast, the moment will be lost forever.

And he kisses her everywhere, hoping that if he keeps her happy, she'll never have a reason leave him.

Cho would never, ever leave him. And when he's inside of every single of part of her, she feels the way their bodies connect and everything is just perfect.

But they both love each other desperately, the way most teenagers do and in the end, Cho has bruises on her her wrists and hips and when Cedric laps at them gently, it means, "I love you and I'm sorry."

"Don't play Quidditch tomorrow," Cho says, afterwards as she runs her fingers through his hair. "Stay with me instead."

"You know I can't do that. I have to go," Cedric says as he rests his head against her chest. He holds her tightly by the waist, his hands tracing the curves along her side.

"You always have to go."

"I always come back."

"I'll give you anything you want."

Cedric sighs.

"I already have everything I want," and Cedric kisses her deeply.

Silence.

Cedric knows that this means, "I trust you."

---

On the evening Cedric is chosen as a champion for the Triwizard Tournament, he returns to his room and isn't surprised to see Cho lying there underneath the covers of his bed.

She's frowning and curled up into a ball, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

Cedric pulls his clothes off and slides into bed, wrapping his arms around her. He feels her tense up and close herself off to him.

And its a game to play. He kisses her forehead and pets her back, his fingers sliding up into her shirt. And he works until he finds the right combination of kissing and touching that makes her relax.

She sniffles and rests her head against his chest, falling asleep to the sound of his breathing.

Cedric knows that this also means, "I trust you."

---

Cho has three fears.

"Falling."

"But you play Quidditch."

"That's flying, not falling."

"I'm always here to catch you, love," Cedric says, kissing her ear.

"Drowning."

"I'm a great swimmer," he says, kissing her cheek.

"Losing you."

Cedric sighs and kisses her lips.

"You'll never lose me."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

And Cho trusts him because she knows he never breaks his promises.

---

Cedric is worried when he finds out what the second task is.

He fears that he will never reach Cho in time and that she'll drown and he'll break his promise.

When he recovers her and holds her on the shore, Cho sputters and cries when she's realized what had happened.

She whispers something underneath her breath, and Cedric only later finds out that its, "I love you."

Later that night, Cedric notices that Cho is screaming in her sleep. He awakens her and holds her while she cries.

"I'm so afraid of dying," she says, her arms wrapped tightly around his chest.

"You're not going to die."

"I'm so afraid of you dying and leaving me and never being able to protect me and take care of me."

"I'll always be here to protect you."

"You promise?"

Cedric kisses her lips softly, but feels her pull away.

"You promise?"

Cedric kisses the tip of her nose.

"I promise."

---

The night before the Third Task, Cedric is awake when Cho sneaks into his room.

"You're awake," Cho says, standing at the foot of his bed.

Cedric reaches his hand out, beckoning for her and she smiles, sliding into bed.

"Why are you awake?" she asks as Cedric starts unbuttoning her shirt, his fingers no longer gentle and slow.

"I was waiting for you," he says and kisses her neck, sucking and biting on it.

Cho is worried, as Cedric lies her down and pulls the rest of her clothes off. She stops him when he kisses her thighs.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." And Cedric nips at her inner thigh.

"Tell me what's wrong."

Cedric answers by sliding his finger inside of her.

Gasping, Cho clutches his shoulders. "Please tell me."

"I love you," Cedric says simply and honestly.

Cho tries to wonder if that's what's wrong, but she loses all conscious thought when he's inside of her.

And its slow and desperate, to Cho's surprise. And when she comes, it feels like she fallingfallingfalling into him, her eyes tearing up as she screams out.

When Cedric comes, he gasps and bites his lip like his disappointed in himself.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"Why are you sorry?" he asks, his fingers tracing along her collarbone.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" the tears welling up in her eyes. When she opens her eyes, they run down her cheeks in single streams.

Cedric wipes them away and kisses her until she falls asleep. She never finds out that he's worried about having to break a promise.

---

Cho dreams of the next morning.

She's holding Cedric's hand before he leaves for the Third Task.

"Don't leave me."

"I have to go."

"You always have to go."

"I always come back."

"You promise?"

Cedric rubs the tip of his nose against hers.

"I promise."

When Cedric hears someone call his name, he feels Cho's hand tighten around his.

"I have to go, love."

"No."

"But.."

"No."

"I love you, Cho," Cedric says.

Cho frowns because she knows that this means "Goodbye" because they can never say "Goodbye" because that implies forever.

Cedric smiles and kisses her forehead.

"What? Don't you love me?" Cedric teases, his fingers pushing her hair behind her ears.

"I don't want you to leave," Cho says, her voice cracking.

"Aw, don't cry. I'll come back, I promise," Cedric says wiping away her tears.

"Okay," Cho says, resigning. "I love you."

"I love you too," Cedric says and wins the tournament for her.

And everything is happy.

---

On the morning of the Third Task, Cedric awakens to find Cho in his arms. He nudges her awake and smiles when she yawns.

"Good morning sunshine," he says, pushing hair away from her face.

Cho smiles and wraps her arms around Cedric's waist, lying her head down on his chest.

"Don't go, Cedric. Stay here with me," she says as she closes her eyes, nuzzling her face into his robes.

"I have to go," Cedric says and kisses her forehead.

"You always have to go."

"I always come back."

Cho shakes her head and clings tighter.

Cedric sighs. "Don't do this, Cho. You know I have to go and that I'll come back."

"You have to promise me you'll come back."

"I promise, Cho. I swear I will come back and it'll be over and I'll take you away from here and we'll live together forever, okay?"

Cho smiles and kisses his chest.

"I love you, Cedric."

"I love you too, Cho."

---

The Third Task for Cedric is a flash and then it's gone.

He wonders what he'll say to Cho.

A simple "I'm sorry," doesn't seem to suffice. But he still hopes

Cho can forgive him for breaking his promise. He still hopes she'll

still love him even if he's gone. If she'll marry someone else like

Harry and forget all about him.

And then he wonders how he'll ever tell her any of this.

...

I'm sorry, Cho. I love you.

---

When Harry arrives from the Third Task with Cedric's dead body over his shoulders, Cho chokes on her own breath and the entire world seems to stop.

And when she has Cedric's body in her arms and she's holding him and crying out, all she can think to herself is that Cedric broke a promise

and that I love you really does mean goodbye.