Forsaking Fate

Slapped to Attention

Chapter 16

Over the next several days, Harry returned more frequently to help entertain Destiny as she would be unable to leave her assigned room until the Order felt that she could be trusted. They talked about their lives and the things that had changed since they had been friends.

"I loved being in Gryffindor. The tower is high above the rest of the castle and overlooked everything. It made me feel that everything was alright in the world."

Nodding, Destiny replied, "I guess that's why we are put in certain places in life. I didn't care about feeling safe so much. I wanted adventure. I loved the secret passages that could be anywhere. They were so much fun to try and find."

As the day continued, the topic of their conversation drifted.

"I was barely fifteen when I began to really work for Voldemort," Destiny reminisced. "Before that I was just negotiating and trying to get something- anything- settled."

"What do you mean you really started to work for him?"

"Do you remember the attack on Diagon Alley?"

"Of course."

"I was part of that attack."

"Oh God. . ." Harry whispered in horror. "There were so many killed."

"I know. I can still hear them screaming."

Gulping, Harry remembered the pictures of the destruction. "What did you do? Did you kill anyone?"

Staring off into space, she pursed her lips before laughing bitterly. "Did I kill anyone? No, not physically, but in reality. . . I killed the most."

"I don't understand."

"I used my powers."

"But your powers bring people back from the dead. How is that bad?" Before she could answer, he answered himself. "You tried to save them and they ended up like Ginny, right?"

"No, I didn't try to save them. I didn't try to stop any of it. When they say that I control the dead they mean that I control all aspects of the dead. Including their mobility after death."

"Are you talking about zombies?" Harry's eyes widened comically.

"Yes, I'm talking about zombies."

*****

Walking into the street through the opened arch, Destiny glanced around. The rest of the Death Eaters would be following in several minutes but before they arrived, she had to find a suitable place to work from. A place where she could see but not be seen; a place where no one would accidentally curse her. Looking into alleys she realized that there was no really good spot. Not on the ground at least. Examining the roof above her she smiled. Perfect.

Walking into the store, she moved onto the upper level of the bookstore and waited by the window that overlooked the alley. No more than four feet away was the roof of the neighboring business. If she jumped right she would be able to leap right onto it.

As the screams began outside, she opened the window and carefully climbed onto the ledge. Balancing precariously, she leapt up and out. Landing half on and half off, she scrambled to find something solid to cling to in order to stop herself from falling the twenty feet to the pavement below. Pulling herself up, she breathed deeply, attempting to slow her racing heart.

"Too close," she mumbled. "Way too close."

Moving so that she could stand behind the chimney and look over it, she observed the fight below. People ran in every direction, some attempting to escape, some trying to hold back the masked figures until help could arrive. Soon the Aurors did indeed arrive. Waiting, Destiny watched for the opportune moment. As the death count continued to rise, she waited. Finally, once bodies of both sides littered the ground, she closed her eyes and began to mumble in Latin.

"Rise," she hissed more audibly.

All over, the screams became shrieks. Even the Death Eaters were yelling in fear. Along the street the bodies of the dead began to move into sitting positions before staggering to their feet. Moving towards those who were not in masks, the zombies began to feast on anyone that they caught.

The Death Eaters, afraid to move for fear of attracting the monsters attention were slowly backing away. With a crack, Voldemort appeared. "Move forward!" he shouted. "You wear the amulets; they will ignore you!"

Glancing fearfully at one another, they began to push forward, killing anyone living in their paths. Watching the death count rise around her, Destiny attempted to block out the thoughts that were screaming that this was wrong.

'This is war,' Destiny thought determinedly. 'There are always casualties in war.'

Even this did not help. Taking a deep breath, she began to pretend that this was nothing more than one of those Muggle electronic games that she had once played at a mall. Beginning to count the points she was winning with each kill her zombies made, she smiled. Yes, this made everything much easier.

*****

"No one survived," Destiny ended. "I made sure of it. I didn't want it to get out that I had been doing such magic because I knew deep in my heart that one day I would have to answer for what I had done and I didn't want that to be on the list of crimes."

"All of those people, those children. . ."

"As I told myself during that battle, 'people die during wars.' Nothing is going to change that."

"But so many didn't have to die!" Harry yelled.

"Perhaps. I still believe in fate. Those people were meant to die."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't, not about every one of those people. I do know that in the end everyone will die. It's the human way. Does it really matter so much if their life ends a little sooner than it would have otherwise?"

"Do you even hear what you're saying?"

"I am what I am, Harry."

"What you are is cold and unfeeling."

"Yes, it helps me make it from one day to the next. Maybe one day I will be able to see things from your point of view. Today is not that day though."

Bowing his head, Harry sighed.

"You have no idea how much it hurts when someone you love dies, do you?"

"No one I have loved has ever been lost to me. The closest I come to losing someone is when they move on. I know though that it is only a matter of time until I see them again. I always see them again."

"Let me tell you what it's like for the rest of the world to lose someone."

*****

The day was overcast and cloudy. It fit the setting and the mood of all those around. There were not many people out today; there was too much to do, too many wounded that were still alive. To Harry though, everything living had ceased to be. There was only the dead. Only the pain of knowing that his beloved Ginny was never going to come through the common room door smiling her happy smile. She would never again, laugh and cheer at a Quidditch game. She would never grow up.

Bowing his head, he could feel the tears leaking out of his eyes. There was so much he wanted to tell her that he had never gotten the chance to. He wanted to tell her about the secret passage he had found that hadn't been on the Marauder's Map. About the sweater that would have looked perfect on her that he had planned to buy. That he loved her.

Now he would never get the chance to.

Wiping at his eyes, he swallowed convulsively. He could hear her mother crying loudly from the head of the coffin. All around, Weasley's had gathered. They said that they didn't blame him but he knew better. It was all his fault. It should have been him lying there. Making things even worse, he had allowed harm to come to her remains.

'I should never have messed with it,' he thought bitterly.

He knew he should have listened to Destiny when she said that his girlfriend was dead but he hadn't wanted to admit it. Besides, she had managed to create the miracle of life once, why wouldn't she be able to do so again? She had tried to refuse and he had threatened her and she had complied.

He had tried to blame her for the damage that had been done but in reality he had only himself to blame. After all, he had all but committed the act himself when he had pointed his wand at the Necromancer. She had told him what the outcome would be but he would not listen. If only he had.

Now the body was ruined. When she had been brought back, she may have appeared to be breathing but she had not been alive; it had been an illusion. Skin had been torn in the battle, bruises had been made, and the neck bones had been destroyed. They'd had to be. When the body was broken beyond repair, the demon wouldn't be able to stay. The Weasley's hadn't even been able to have an open casket because of that damage. Because of the demon that had briefly resided within her, there was no way that they could perform any spell that would fix it because then the demon would be able to come back.

"We are gathered here today to say goodbye to Ginny Weasley," the man said who was conducting the funeral.

He had loved her; had intended to marry her. She had been his life. They had even been talking about the possibility of them marrying straight out of Hogwarts. Ginny had been excited about the idea.

Reaching into his pocket, he felt the cold metal circle that resided there. He had bought the ring not long before that Halloween. He had intended to ask her romantically at Christmas out by the lake in the snow. Now it was too late.

"Ashes to ashes. . ."

If only he could be free of the guilt. If only he could find someone to blame besides himself. That was never going to happen though. He would carry the guilt of destroying the woman he loved for the rest of his life.

"Dust to dust. . ."

'I will never love anyone like I loved you,' he vowed silently to his dead love. 'I will die loving only you.'

*****

"That's what it means to lose someone you love," Harry said, feeling familiar sadness sweep through him.

"I understand that you feel you will never see her again but do you really think that she blames you for her death?"

"How could she not? She died because of me."

"No, she died for you. There is a difference."

"However you say it, she's still gone."

"Do you really think that she saved you just so that you could be miserable forever?"

"Like any woman would willingly want the man she loves to move on to another woman."

"Katherine did."

"Who?"

"Remus's wife. She couldn't move on until Remus was ready to let go of her. When Remus met Dakota, Katherine moved on."

"That's different though."

"How?"

"She wanted him to be happy, yes, but that doesn't mean that she wanted him to forget about her."

Cocking her head to the side, she replied thoughtfully, "I think in a way she did want him to forget about her. At least for a while anyway. Remus will never stop loving Katherine but that doesn't mean that he can't love someone else. It fact, she even picked out Remus's next wife. I helped them get together because that was what she needed to happen." Seeing his stunned face, she continued, "So you see, sometimes they need their loved one to move on in order to allow the spirit to be happy. Tell me, would Ginny be happy with the way that you're torturing yourself?"

"I guess I'll never know," Harry said bitterly.

"Don't be stupid. Of course you'll know. Who do you think you're talking to, Santa Clause?" Rolling her eyes, she mentally called out for Ginny.

"What do you want?" Ginny snapped annoyance clear in her voice.

Ignoring her tone, Destiny smiled. "Hello Ginny, lovely day."

"Get on with it."

"You're awfully grouchy today."

"I've been watching Voldemort torture people all day today. Can you really blame me?"

"Did you find anything out?"

"Hey!" Harry interrupted. "I think you're getting a little off topic."

"Oh right. Ginny, you want to talk to Harry here?"

"Sure," she replied after a moments pause.

Waving her hand, Destiny made the girl visible before leaning back in her chair.

"Ginny," Harry murmured, moving closer.

"Hello Harry."

"I've missed you so much."

"I know."

"Have you. . ." Clearing his throat, he began again. "Have you missed me?"

"Why would I miss you? You're right here."

Stepping back as if he had been slapped, Harry gaped at her. "But we aren't together anymore. We can't touch. We've lost each other."

"We haven't lost each other. We're just taking a break that lasts a lifetime. We'll be together again when we meet on the other side."

"I don't want to wait a lifetime. I want to be together now."

"No," Ginny replied. "Your time is not yet done. You will just have to wait. And you will wait, do I make myself clear?"

Nodding sadly, Harry whispered, "I will never love anyone but you."

"Why's that?"

"I only want to be with you."

Giving him a disgusted look, she snapped, "What a pathetic waste of a life. You're alive, Harry; I'm dead. Let me go."

"Am I holding you here?"

"No, I have worse things keeping me here than you."

"What Ginny is trying to say in her oh-so-grumpy way is that life is for the living. Why would she care if you love someone else since you are alive? The whole reason she is not a ghost that can be seen is that she is willing to let go of life after her business is completed. It's you that's not willing to let the dead lie."

"This is so totally bizarre," Harry mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"Love someone else if you choose. When you are ready to love again, don't let the memory of me stop you. I saved you because I wanted you to live a long happy life. If loving another makes you happy then that's what I want for you. In your own time you'll see that that is what you also want." Smiling at him, Ginny said, "I will always be with you."

Looking down at his feet in an attempt to compose himself, he raised his head to see that the spirit had vanished.

"No! Where did she go?"

"She left," Destiny replied carelessly.

"But I need to tell her that I love her!"

"No Harry, you need to let go. It's been over a year. Let it go."

"You don't understand."

Pursing her lips, she stood up and walked over to him. Swinging her hand at him as hard as she could, she was rewarded with a resounding smack.

"What was that for!" he yelped.

"Pull your head out of your butt and grow up! I understand just fine. This is not all about you! You feel overwhelmed by the responsibility that you have been given and since they're all telling you that you are going to save everyone, you feel that you should have also saved her. Did the whole demon episode show you nothing? It was her time to go! So let her go!"

Incredulously, he asked, "You think this is all about my responsibility?"

"You know what; I'm going to tell you what I was told by someone a long time ago. You don't like the way everyone is laying all of this responsibility on you yet treating you like a child? Then do something about it! Stop being bitter at the world and boo-hooing about it. Make a plan and execute it. You can control your future. First though you have to grow up and be an adult."

"Who gave you such good advice?"

Laughing, she replied, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. What are you going to do?"

Thinking for a second, Harry said, "Grow up. Be an adult. I'm going to take control of this war. If I have to die fighting it then we're going to do things my way."