Severus Snape’s Potions Mistake Shock

Love and Peace...Enjoy the last chapter!

 
Chapter 5: Revelation. Nasty, Nasty Revelation

Harry rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times. The name he was staring at remained the same - “Draco Malfoy”. So DRACO had been hitting on Professor Teyah...that creep! That...slimy little worm had been writing perverted notes to that lovely flower of a creature! How DARE he! Someone ought to...ought to...

“Hey Harry, what’ve you got there?” Ron peered over his shoulder. “Something written by Malfoy? If he’s sending us those stupid chain letters again, I’ll go kick his ass myself. It took us two damn weeks to get all those ruddy links out of Gryffindor.”

Harry had learned last year that wizarding “Chain Letters” certainly were NOT the same as the kind you got from Muggles. But, that’s a story for a different day perhaps, and right now Harry was assuring Ron that this was not a chain letter, it was much worse.

“Remember today when I had that spare period and I was practicing my Quidditch flying?” he asked, gesturing out the window at the Quidditch pitch.

His friend nodded his acknowledgement and Harry continued. “Well, I was flying along, when this parchment here” and he taped the paper as though it was a poisonous creature of some sort “flew into my face. I was going to report it in, but I recognized the handwriting and something persuaded me to keep it. I just found it now again.”

“Okay, okay fine...so what was it?”

“Draco’s been writing those perverted letters! See for yourself!” With that, Harry re-arranged the letter. Ron stared at it, a look of disgust on his face.

“Man, I always knew Malfoy was a bit odd...but, geez, he heard what Professor Teyah said though… Snape’s gonna take 75 points offa whoever did it! What was he THINKING? Not that I’m disappointed about points off of Slytherin...but this is a bit much, even for him!”

“We have to take action against this!” Harry said, rising from his seat and pocketing the parchment.

“You’re right Harry, we have to give this to the teachers so that they can...”

“...challenge Malfoy to a duel for Professor Teyah’s honor,” Harry finished up.

For the second time that week, Ron was wishing that he had something good and hard to bash some sense into Harry’s head. On the other hand though, Harry was his best friend, and he supposed if he wanted to go challenge Draco that badly, he was going to need a second. After this however, he was buying himself at least fifty Chocolate Frogs and the latest model broomstick. He deserved it for putting up with this…Lord Voldemort had absolutely nothing on a love struck Harry Potter.

And so, the challenge was laid out. About an hour after lights out, Draco had happily agreed to meet up with Harry and Ron for a duel (he really had no idea what he might be fighting over, but was quite delighted for any chance to whup Potter’s ass into the ground). The Prefect had come around the rooms for the lights out, and the two listened by the door to their room, waiting for him to go to bed. That didn’t take long; it appeared to be a quiet night.

Nevertheless, they took the Invisibility Cloak, moved through the hallways with no difficulty at all and met up at the pre-arranged spot with a smirking Malfoy, who was in fact feigning anger at being dragged out of his bed at this hour.

“What’s up with this Potter?”, he asked, sneering down his nose. Behind him, Crabbe, his second leered over at Ron. Ron ignored him.

“This is what’s up!” Harry stalked over and shoved the parchment in Malfoy’s face. Draco paled considerably.

“Give me that!” he lunged for the paper, but Harry danced out of the way.

“No way Malfoy! This is a duel for the honor of Professor Teyah!”

Realization dawned on Draco. Harry thought that they were in some kind of freaking romance novel. He’d read enough of them by this point to understand that Harry viewed himself as the chivalrous hero that was going to with the duel and sweep his ladylove off her feet and then carry her away for a good snog. Well...at least that’s what happened in the books. At any rate, it was imperative that he beat Potter, or he’d be in a load of crap, if he didn’t first destroy the obvious evidence.

“All right then Potter, let’s get to it.”

And the spells started to fly.


Well, it just so happened that things were conducted a little differently over at Slytherin. The Sorting Hat was not lying that time in Harry’s first year when it said that the Slytherin folk were a cunning sort. Draco unfortunately had forgotten about the second bed check that was performed by the duty teacher. And the duty teacher was, as fate would have it – Severus Snape.

Now Snape was not in a good mood. He was beginning to hate being a woman – you had to watch your weight, wear those revolting bra things, wash your hair and brush your teeth every morning, and you got LOVE LETTERS from sick, perverted, twisted little children. He wondered if McGonagall, Sprout or Hooch ever got that crap, or if he was just paying for something he was sure he hadn’t done. The fact that he was now going to have to go track down Draco Malfoy – a favorite student of his – and punish him for being out after hours just boiled his blood.

He was on a hunt, and at the end of it was going to be crispy fried Draco, favorite student or not.


Ron was falling asleep. His head in his hands, he watched as Draco and Harry sparred. Harry was trying his hardest, and Malfoy was just as focused. Neither was in any frame of mind to lose or give up…which meant they were going to be in for a long wait. Mentally, he added a new wand to Harry’s comeuppance list…and maybe a new pet of some sort.

He started paying more attention when Harry dodged a spell that gave you hives and it nearly exploded in his face.

It was at that moment that Crabbe turned white and started stammering.

“Not now!” Draco hissed through his teeth, bracing himself against a small whirlwind and sending a jolt of electricity in Harry’s direction.

Ron, who was paying more attention, noticed it second and added ‘Making Harry do my homework for a year’ to the list as well.

“What may I ask is going on here?” said a dangerously calm voice from the shadows. Draco froze in utter horror, realizing all too soon what was going on, and also allowing Harry’s Whump spell to knock him clean off his feet and onto his back. Spitting curses that were silenced with a glance from Professor Teyah as she stepped into the light, Draco Malfoy knew that his luck had run clean out.

“Oh boy, it was nice knowing you, Harry, Draco, Crabbe...we must do this again some time...ta!” Ron edged towards the door, but Teyah blocked his path.

“What pray tell, is going on up here?” Teyah asked, her voice never losing that dangerous edge.

Harry was practically bouncing with the force of his excitement and puppy love. “I have defended your honor Professor!” He thrust the parchment with Draco’s “Love Letter” on it into her hands. “I have caught the evildoer, who has mocked your innocence with his filth!”

Ron smacked his forehead into his hand. His friend Harry, the Knight in Rusting Armor. Where was he GETTING these lines from?


Snape read the letter disbelieving. So, it had been Draco? This was horrible...simply horrible! He’d have to deduct points from Slytherin. Snape may have been a lot of things, but he certainly did not go back on his word. Ugh, the whole ordeal was leaving a sick feeling in his stomach. He lurched himself back to reality and forced himself to focus on Potter....the hell?

Snape’s confused “What?” soon turned into a horrified “Mmph” as Harry Potter had reached up and kissed him full on the mouth. He barely noticed Draco’s disgusted stare and barely heard Weasley banging his head on the wall. In fact, he’d all but forgotten about Potter kissing him as his stomach turned over and he found himself flailing wildly about in pain. It wasn’t as bad this time, and black rounded the edges of his vision as he fought for consciousness. In the end, he managed to stay upright.


Harry Potter puked. And puked...and when he was done, he puked some more. He couldn’t believe what he’d just seen...or done for that matter. Professor Teyah...was really...really...it was a pity there was nothing left in his stomach to puke. He felt so dirty. He’d. kissed. Professor Snape. He was going to be taking the longest shower in the history of the world...right after he laid down here on the nice floor and took a cleansing nap.

He woke up in the infirmary under Madam Pomfrey’s care a day later, and Ron came to see him immediately, and fill him in.

“Well, you and I got some detention for staying out after hours...we get to go do that after you’re ready to leave the infirmary. Snape is back to his old self. Very literally I might add. We’re testing the potions ourselves now in class too.” Seeing that Harry wasn’t finding any of this very comforting, he quickly got to the good bits. “Let’s see...uh, Slytherin got the 75 points chopped off, and Draco’s got detention coming out of his ears...you should have SEEN the look on Dumbledore’s face when he read those letters. Truly a hysterical sight...”


And over in Slytherin, just as this was going on, Professor Snape, never so glad to be male was de-womanfying himself. He put the bra into the fire (It burned pretty quickly because of the paper stuck inside it), and sent the robes to anyone willing to have them. It was noted by all later that his teeth were somewhat less yellow than usual, and his hair less greasy – Harry was certainly not the only one desperately trying to forget that kiss.

As he went over his lesson plans for the next month, he noted with a great deal of pleasure that in one day, transformation potions were over for this term. Next, they were learning poisons...

The End.