Volcano

Part Two: Release

Push down; pushed down in belly aches;

it rumbles--it rises--erupts--

melting away the body it quakes

squeezed out in tears pooled by cups.

Cumulous clouds loomed over the damp grounds of Hogwarts. The pack of fifth year Gryffindor and Ravenclaw's shivered at the edge of a shady paddock where Hagrid stood, beaming, at invisible creatures. Students around him gazed skeptically, huddling their robes closer to their bodies, as Hagrid continued to explain about Thestrals.

A knot of Ravenclaw girls gasped as a lump of meat was torn to pieces before their eyes. Ginny, however, remained indifferent as she raised her eyebrows at Luna, who was standing next to her. Luna smiled vaguely back at Ginny and turned her gaze unblinkingly back to the shrinking mound of flesh. Ginny knew that Luna could see Thestrals. She wondered what the creatures looked like; she certainly knew what they felt like after her journey to the Ministry of Magic the previous year.

A sharp pang itched at Ginny's throat when the incident crept forward from the recesses of her mind. In the weeks since she had decided to avoid Harry, he appeared to be somewhat relieved. Her expression darkened, 'I can't be that bad...' she thought as she fought the frown weighing the corners of her mouth.

True, she wanted to help Harry by any means possible; she, like many others close to him, cared deeply for him and all that he had gone through. But secretly, when she made the decision to stay away, she hoped that he would remain the same, or even show the strains of needing her. Now she was forced watch him from afar with the realization that her help for him was no help at all.

Luna caught up to Ginny as the fifth years numbly trooped back to the castle for lunch.

"I don't think it's as bad as you think Ginevra," she said sagely. Ginny turned and gave Luna a forced blank stare.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," she said briskly as they reached the castle door. Luna grabbed Ginny's wrist before the two entered the Great Hall and gently pulled her back.

"He's still your friend," she whispered. Ginny tried to hide the surprise in her face and masked it once again with confusion. Luna sighed, "Don't give up on him." With that, she pushed the doors to the Great Hall open and drifted over the Ravenclaw table. Ginny absently sat at the end of her own House table, her mind whirling cynically. 'Don't give up on him...yeah right...too little, too late Luna.'

***

A thunderstorm grew out of the dense clouds and daylight was darkened hours earlier than was usual in October. Thunder rattled the windows of the sixth year girl dormitory, but Ginny felt cozy nonetheless. Absently running her hand down the back and tail of Crookshanks, she watched as Hermione nervously fiddled with her hair while staring at an open copy of 'Teen Witch Weekly.' She carefully ran her wand over a section of her frizzy locks, but to no avail.

"I don't know why I'm even bothering," she said despondently, and she tossed the magazine aside.

"Yeah, he seems to like your hair fine the way it is," Ginny responded casually. Hermione pinked slightly, but joined Ginny on her bed to scratch behind Crookshanks ears.

"Ginny..." Hermione said carefully.

"Hmmm?" she responded, running her fingers contentedly over the feline's back.

"Er...well, we were wondering--that is Ron, Harry and I--if we upset you in anyway. You seem to have been avoiding us," Hermione's voice faded and she looked to Ginny tentatively. Ginny looked at Hermione's face, crinkled in concern, but made no attempt at an expression herself.

"Of course I'm not avoiding you," she said simply. Hermione nodded, but Ginny could tell that she was far from done. She took a breath.

"Ginny, listen, Harry told us you two had a disagreement. He feels really bad, but--" she let out a huff of frustration, "but--boys are stupid sometimes and he doesn't want to apologize. He says he can tell you don't want to talk to him," Hermione stopped and looked as to gather her thoughts, then, uncharacteristically, she smirked. "But I think he's scared of you, personally," she finished. Ginny raised her eyebrows at Hermione.

"Scared of me? Right," she said sardonically. "He barely notices me unless I force myself in front of him and even then..." She frowned and got up toward the window. Hermione came up behind her and placed her hand gently on her shoulder.

"Ginny...he's your friend, of course he knows you're there, I--I even think he misses you." Ginny crossed her arms and continued to stare out the window.

"He's better off without me. Trust me," she said darkly. Hermione made a noise as though to protest, but Ginny was done. Thinking about Harry deepened the ache. The ache she felt for his pain and even the deeper ache she concealed to have him and to be his.

"I better go finish my homework before I'm up all night," Ginny said quickly, turning to the door. She did not look back at Hermione, but Hermione didn't follow. Ginny almost wished she would. She wished that Hermione would come up behind her and tell her that Harry had been a nervous wreck and he needed to talk to her. She wished Harry needed her in his life. 'Stop dwelling on him!' she chastised to herself. 'I'm just hurting myself...and I have Dean. Dean is all I need, he's perfect. The perfect boyfriend and he cares about me. Maybe he even needs me...' Ginny abandoned her thoughts of homework and went to find Dean.

Dean was sitting in his empty room and Ginny wondered why he had decided to seclude himself at that moment. But then she found she didn't care; this was just the place she wanted to find him. She quietly opened the door and stood in the frame, waiting for him to notice her. He sensed her presence immediately.

"Hey," he said softly, making his way over to her. Ginny stepped closer, smiled and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. Dean stroked her hair.

"You okay Gin?" he whispered into her ear. Ginny sighed and looked him full in the face.

"I just missed you," she responded softly. Dean smiled and pulled her into another embrace. He was so perfect, so loving, so free from burden, so hers. She pulled back for another moment, reached up and ran her finger along his jaw and down across his lips. "Dean..." she started, and as though he knew what she was asking, he bent down and kissed her gently on the mouth. She pulled away, searching his face intently. "Dean..." she began again, "do you need me?" His deep eyes sparked in an unfamiliar gleam before he bent down to kiss her again.

She went farther with him than she ever had before that night. He stopped first, when his hands had slid under her shirt, even though Ginny told him to keep going.

Stopping, however, proved to be a smart decision on Dean's part because minutes later, when the couple was laying flat on their backs, panting, and staring at the ceiling with fingers entangled, Harry and Ron came in and halted at the sight of them.

Ron stopped mid-sentence and glared at the pair while Harry merely raised his eyebrows and turned away. Ginny's stomach dropped at the sight of his indifference, but she pushed a grin across her lips and turned to her boyfriend. He was understandably eying Ron nervously.

"I should go," Ginny said, rising from the bed. She glanced furtively at Harry who was fiddling with something in his trunk and left the boys behind.

***

On a Tuesday just like any else, when lessons loomed almost unbearably to the fifth years, when the weather just as grey and just as dreary as was expected in mid-October, when Hadley had moved on to the next unsuspecting crush and when Harry had yet again failed to give Ginny the time of day, Ginny had the feeling that this day was, in fact, different.

Her infatuation, her ache, her never ending crush was pushed so far down that Ginny could almost claim that it wasn't there and that any old feelings that tended to rise were just because she cared for him; he was, after all, like part of her family. But even at fifteen, a girl can only push down so much and today, giving up never felt so hard.

The first Hogsmeade weekend was approaching and each time Ginny encountered the fabulous three (as she so endearingly tagged them in her mind), Ron couldn't seem to shut-up about Harry finding a girl to ask.

Though Ron acted like it was subtle, it was glaringly obvious that he wanted Harry to find someone so that they could set up a sort of double date. A troll could see through his flimsy excuse that 'it was time for Harry to find a girl'. Surprisingly, Hermione didn't comment during Ron's pleadings with Harry.

"C'mon mate," he said during lunch, sputtering bits of vegetable and making Hermione wince. "You need to have a bit more fun and I bet any girl you fancy would come."

"I'm not particularly interested in anyone--"

"I bet Susan Bones would go with you. She's nice looking."

Harry closed his mouth, caught Ginny's eye and rolled his own. Ginny smiled back and she felt emotion bubble in the pit of her stomach. 'Stop it...stop it...' she said to herself. The stirring lessened and the fabulous three left.

Double transfiguration that day proved distracting enough, but Ginny felt the bubble again when, while she was walking back to Gryffindor Tower, she caught a glimpse of Harry and Susan Bones talking in the corner. She had the fleeting image of herself walking up behind the Hufflepuff, grabbing her long plait and yanking the girl away. Instead, she gripped the edges of her sleeves, crossed her arms tightly across her chest and deliberately ignored the pair. She was meeting Dean in a half-hour.

Before dinner, when Ginny and Dean were sitting in the library, which was void of sound save the scratching of quills, in walked Harry. His eyes scanned the library and Ginny swore they brushed hers before they settled on a table just behind her. She watched him slowly make his way toward her until he maneuvered past her and she heard him settle at a table behind her. Harry cleared his throat uncomfortably and Ginny heard him give a mumbled greeting. She strained to hear the conversation behind her.

"Erm...Susan...I was--er wondering if you had any plans for the next Hogsmeade weekend..."

Ginny couldn't make out the response, but it sounded happy, so Ginny determined that Susan Bones was going to join Harry. This was confirmed when she watched the back of a messy black haired boy and a girl with a long golden plait start out of the library. She scowled at the sight, yet she couldn't seem to take her gaze away from the two until they left.

The emotion was rising and it uncomfortably settled to a point just below her chest, in between her ribs. The bubbling was rapid, but Ginny placed her hand on her upper abdomen to settle it. She tore her eyes from the door and settled them once again on the book that lay in front of her. Dean gently kicked her foot under the table.

She glanced up at him, forcing a playful smile on her lips, but he wasn't smiling. He raised his eyebrows, but Ginny looked at him with confusion. He indicated a table behind Ginny and the library door with his eyes, but Ginny shrugged. Dean looked at her a while longer, his brow furrowed, until he packed up his belongings. Ginny followed his lead, even when he hurriedly exited the library one step ahead of her.

"Dean!" she called out of him as the library doors swung shut behind her. She rushed to catch up with him, but his stride was quite a bit longer than hers.

"Dean! What's wrong?" she called again.

He stopped and turned toward her wearing an expression that plunged deep into Ginny, sending a chasm into her ache and stirring a new set of emotions: shame, guilt and anger with herself. 'I did this to him,' she thought as she watched his pained eyes and mouth squeezed tight. He took a breath, as if to settle himself, and then spoke so gently it was painful. Ginny wanted him to scream at her.

"This whole time I thought I imagined it...because of his friends and your family, and I told myself that you were a very caring girl and that's why I always saw you watching him. I even made myself like you more for it...but--but--"

"Dean," Ginny cut him off, placing her hand on his arm, but he shook it away.

"I've ignored it for too long, but I can tell you care for him more than me."

Ginny felt her throat burn as she blinked away wayward tears while shaking her head. Dean's expression softened to the rhythmic sniffles of Ginny as she whispered "No...no...no..."

"Ginny," Dean said, a hint of hope in his voice, "do you really want to be with me?" Ginny searched his face and wiped her cheeks. He was staring at her anxiously, but she felt paralyzed. She wanted to be with him, but she wanted to be with Harry more. That was always there, she would always want Harry, so it was better if she found someone else and Dean was certainly the next best thing. Slowly she nodded. Dean gave her a small smile in response. Ginny, thinking he was done, went to hug him, but he stopped her.

"Ginny," he said again quietly, "do you want me instead of him?" His eyes held hers steadily, but Ginny averted her gaze. It would be so easy to lie, to make him happy and forget about Harry so that she could move on. 'Just lie and say you want Dean and only Dean...this is too good to lose,' she thought.

And then, there Harry was.

Just for a second, whipping around the corner, robes swishing and pace fast as he undoubtedly was heading some place important. Ginny watched his shadow disappear and looked back at Dean. He was frowning. He nodded and went to leave, but Ginny grabbed his arm.

"Dean! Stop Dean, I want to be with you!" Dean furiously shook her off and went to leave again. She moved in front of him. "Dean, don't be stupid, you're the only person I want to be with," she said, her face completely straight. Dean scowled.

"I'm just back-up to him. Everyone knows you used to have an incredible crush on him...I thought it was over, but now--now I can tell I was wrong."

"It is over...it is," Ginny replied desperately.

"Then why do you always watch him, or talk about him, and then when I confront you, you can't even give a straight answer?" Dean said, raising his voice.

"It's just that he's hurting...I can tell that he's hurting and I'm concerned," Ginny trailed weakly. Dean looked at her suspiciously before retaliating softly.

"You can't fix him, Ginny."

"I know," she said, casting her eyes down.

"Then why are you trying?"

Ginny's eyes studied the cracks in the wood floor while her hair fell over her face. She made no move to push it back. It was better if Dean didn't see her just now. Dean guided her head up so that he could look at her.

"I just want to make sure it's me you really want to be with."

Ginny didn't respond.

"I don't want to be someone you settle for."

Ginny felt the bubbling rise to her chest, but she willed it back down.

"If I am," he said slowly, "maybe we should re-think going out."

Ginny looked at him sharply, but still said nothing. She was being unfair to him. She liked him, yes she liked him. 'But maybe' a small voice trickled in, 'maybe you like him, but you love someone else.' Ginny felt a boiling rise to her chest once more and she took a step back from Dean.

"Okay," she nearly whispered. Dean's mouth fell into a small frown and he nodded, leaving her to think about everything.

Ginny stared after him for what seemed like hours. The crowds that shuffled through the halls lessened, most likely on their way to dinner, but Ginny stood, stuck, paralyzed, powerless in that same spot.

'At least go back to Gryffindor Tower,' Ginny told her feet after the halls had emptied completely. She drew in a breath and took a step forward. Her legs felt heavy, but she continued to slowly drag them forward. Suddenly, a figure rushed past her, swaying her balance, and she watched as a familiar back tore up to the nearest staircase.

She followed after him, tailing the corners where his shadow whipped out of site, but he was hard to trail. He didn't seem to have a destination. She was starting to pant, but she had to keep up with him. She saw his shadow disappear behind another corner, and she rounded it quickly, expecting to see him running down the next hall. Instead, she nearly ran into him as he stood with his palms pressed against the wall, panting. He was pale and his scar stood out in stark contrast to his white skin.

"Harry?" She took a step toward him, but he didn't look up. He was still panting and beads of sweat trickled over his eyebrow. She stood watching him breathe rapidly until his chest rose and fell steadily. He turned to her, his face lax, but his eyes fearful.

"He's figuring it all out," he said hoarsely. Ginny stepped closer to him and saw that his scar was crusted with blood. She sucked in her breath and covered her mouth. Harry was starting to look weak.

"Maybe you should go to the hospital wing," Ginny said gently, lowering her hand from her mouth. Harry shook his head.

"There's nothing Madam Pomfrey can do."

Ginny stepped closer to him and tilted his face to her. Though weary, his eyes still widened at the gesture. Slowly reaching up her hand, she tenderly traced her thumb over his scar. He shuddered, but continued to watch her silently. She continued to run her thumb over the scar and he squeezed his eyes shut, his breathing growing rapid again.

Ginny drew away her hand and Harry opened his eyes, which were bloodshot and shining. She reached up, gently placed both her hands on his cheeks and lowered his head so that she could stand on her tip-toes and pressed her lips softly to his scar. It was odd, feeling the groove in his skin and the crust of his blood on her lips. She gently dropped her arms and he straightened, looking slightly bewildered.

She felt the emotion rise and bubble in her throat, pounding painfully. She attempted to swallow it down, but it only caused her throat to burn more. She wanted more than anything to kiss Harry right now. They were standing so close and he was still staring at her...still looking at her...not ignoring...maybe even needing her...

Ginny opened her mouth, as though to speak, but instead placed both her arms on his shoulders, pushed herself up on her toes again and pressed her lips against his.

A fresh wave of feeling traveled up her throat and burst through the breath of her partially parted lips placed tenderly on Harry's. She was breathing him, feeling him, and sending herself into him. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her, pull her close, and deepen the kiss.

Instead, he pulled his lips away and hugged her, bearing his weight down on her shoulders. Ginny embraced him firmly back. He broke away, looking at the ground and rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. Ginny stepped back and felt stupid once again.

"I need to find Dumbledore," he mumbled.

"That's a good idea," Ginny said weakly. Harry looked up at her and nodded.

"Let me know if you need anything," she said quietly. Harry smiled faintly and Ginny smiled back as he walked away.

***

Ginny sat in a chair in the common room, curled around a book for Herbology. Her eyes scanned the page, but took nothing in. She started the page over, but then Dean walked in, his eyes resolutely in front of him as he headed up to his dormitory. Ginny frowned and looked back to page, starting at the top once again. The portrait hole swung open a moment later, and in trooped Ron and Hermione.

"Ginny!" Hermione hurried over and sat herself next to her. "Where were you at dinner?" Ginny pursed her lips and looked from Hermione to the concerned face of Ron.

"Dean and I had a row," she said quietly.

"Oh Ginny..." Hermione leaned over and squeezed Ginny in a tight embrace. Ginny drew her eyes up to her brother, who seemed to be suppressing satisfaction. She pulled back from Hermione.

"It's all right," she said. "I sort of had it coming...but, I think I ended it with him." She frowned and looked back to Hermione. Hermione looked back at Ron and then to Ginny again. She stood up resolutely and grabbed Ginny's hand.

"We're going for a walk," she said, purposely dragging Ginny to her feet.

The girls headed toward the portrait hole and clamored out. Coming up to them was Harry, still pale, but looking better.

"Oh Harry! How are you feeling?" Hermione fussed as he approached them. Ginny stared at him.

"I'm fine," he responded tonelessly. Hermione looked at him skeptically and Ginny continued to stare.

"Is this about--" but Hermione broke off when she noticed Ginny beside her. Ginny scowled, looking between the two of them. Harry nodded and absently rubbed his forehead. Ginny ached to touch it again, maybe sooth it, maybe even take the pain away. Her fingers tingled and she felt a stirring in the pit of her stomach once more.

"Well, Ginny and I are going for a walk, but if you need to talk--"

"I'm fine," Harry said. Hermione surveyed him doubtfully, but nodded and started forward, Ginny in tow. Ginny glanced back at Harry as he murmured the password to the Fat Lady. He looked at her fleetingly and disappeared behind the portrait.

Ginny hurried to catch up to Hermione, and the two of them walked the halls of the castle until Hermione broke the silence.

"What was the row about?" Ginny grimaced.

"It's sort of embarrassing." Hermione stopped and looked steadily at Ginny.

"You can tell me anything, you know that." Ginny nodded and started walking again. She took a breath and braced herself.

"It was about Harry." She looked over to her friend hesitantly, and was surprised to see she wasn't at all taken aback.

"What happened?" Hermione replied as they rounded the corner. Ginny wrapped her arms across her chest and frowned.

"He--he reckons that I would rather be with Harry and not him."

"Is he right?" Ginny stopped, and Hermione halted a second later. Ginny watched her friend turn around and walk back to her.

"Ginny?" Hermione said carefully. Ginny nodded and sat down on a nearby step. "So, Dean was jealous?" Hermione said, taking a seat beside Ginny. Ginny buried her face in her hands.

"Not so much jealous, but more hurt and...I know he likes me, but he doesn't want to be second best," she muffled into her hands. Hermione put her arm around Ginny and gently rubbed her shoulder. "But, I knew he was right," she continued, lifting her head, "I do like him, but I was being unfair to him." She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and turned toward Hermione. "Because it's true that if Harry wanted me, I would go to him in an instant."

Hermione nodded grimly, "So, you haven't given up on him?"

Ginny turned away again, embarrassment now heating her cheeks.

"I had given up on him, but I always cared for him. And now, now..." Ginny groaned and buried her face in her hands once again.

"What is it?" Hermione said gently.

"I was stupid today...so, so stupid." Hermione squeezed Ginny's hand, urging her to go on. Ginny looked at her friend, the stirring in the pit of her stomach bubbling a little faster. "I kissed him today." Hermione's eyes widened, but she kept her composure.

"Before or after your row with Dean?"

"After."

Ginny's lips tingled and she recalled the sensation of Harry's scar. She vaguely touched her mouth and went on.

"I saw him hurrying down the corridor, like something was wrong, so I followed him. When I found him, he was all pale and sweaty...and his scar," Ginny bit her lip and leaned her chin in her hands.

"What about his scar?" Hermione gently prodded.

"His scar was so dark, and when I got closer, I saw that it was crusted with blood." Hermione gasped slightly, but said nothing. "And when I approached him," Ginny continued, "he looked at me and said 'he's figuring it all out' and that's--that's when I kissed him." Ginny finished lamely, sliding her hands to her forehead once again. Hermione rubbed her back soothingly.

"What did he do after...after the--"

"He pulled away, hugged me and went to find Dumbledore." Ginny shook her head, "He looked so awkward Hermione. I don't even know why I did it." Hermione withdrew her hand and pensively leaned her chin on her own hands.

"I think you know why you did it," Hermione said finally. Ginny stared at her, the bubbling culminating in her stomach once again and rising up in her abdomen.

"But I should get over him, shouldn't I?"

"That's up to you. But you should stop beating yourself up for liking him. Harry's a good choice." Ginny nodded, leaned over her legs and studied the hem of her robes.

"We should probably get back," Hermione said. "I reckon I should go talk to Harry about his scar." Ginny nodded and followed her friend back to the common room.

Ron and Harry were playing chess in the corner. Hermione smiled at Ginny and went to join her two best friends. Ginny watched them pull their heads close together and speak in a whispered seriousness. She breathed out, attempting to ease her unsettled stomach, and headed back to the chair with her book on it, hoping to fix her mind on Herbology and nothing else.

Ginny woke with a start to realize that she was curled up in a chair in the common room, which was considerably empty. She heard Harry, Ron and Hermione speaking quietly in back of her, but otherwise the room was silent except for the occasional crackle from the fireplace.

"...do you really think it's making you weaker?" Ron said anxiously.

"Dunno. It was blocking him for a while, but it just fell apart when I almost hit Malfoy--it was like we connected for an instant. I haven't felt that since last June..." Harry trailed off, and Ginny supposed he was attempting to gain control of himself.

"Maybe--maybe you aren't using it strongly enough," Hermione replied.

"That's what Dumbledore thinks," Harry responded.

"Harry, can you just let me take a look at that book? Maybe I could figure something out."

Harry didn't respond, but Ron cleared his throat and Ginny heard a quill tap against the table.

"Yeah, all right," Harry said finally. Hermione breathed out and someone got up.

"I think I'm going to turn in, Transfiguration will have to wait till later," Ron said.

"Yeah, me too," Hermione said. "But show me that book tomorrow, will you, Harry? And what you've been working on too?"

Belongings shuffled around the table as Ginny listened to them pack up. She heard the scuffle of footsteps up the staircase and went to sit up herself, until she heard Harry sigh.

She quickly scrunched back into her sleeping position and heard him lower himself onto a chair near her. She feigned sleep as she heard him breathe deeply beside her. She wondered if he was watching her.

She fluttered her eyes open and yawned largely, glancing over at Harry, who was studying the flames. She glanced at her watch, "Goodness, its 12:30," she said croakily. Harry looked over at her.

"Drifted off, did you?"

"Mmmm," Ginny nodded, studying the flames of the fire as they licked over the wood and danced wildly.

"Ginny?" Harry said. Ginny looked over at him, his face was cast in shadows but the light of the fire bounced off him in relief. His scar was cut deeply by the shadows and Ginny had the urge to touch it again. Harry turned to her, his fringe falling loosely on his forehead and the shadows shifting so that his eyes gleamed heavily behind his glasses.

"What is it, Harry?" she said breathlessly.

"I'm sorry that I yelled at you, that time when you read my book." Ginny nodded, feeling a bit disappointed that he didn't mention the kiss.

"Don't feel bad," Ginny responded, "I was invading your privacy."

"Yeah, but...I sort of took advantage of you," he trailed off and looked back into the fire, where his green eyes appeared black and his scar caught the groove of darkness once more.

"Took advantage?" Ginny asked, tearing her gaze from him and looking into the fire herself.

"Er...well, Dumbledore has had me working on Occlumency and recently Legilimency and that day I sort of...well, practiced on you to find my book." Ginny's breath stopped. He had read her mind. 'Oh God, how much does he know about what I feel about him? Is he prying into my thoughts right now?' She looked over at him and he was staring at her apologetically.

"I'm sorry I made you feel bad about--"

"You read my mind?" Ginny burst out angrily. Harry looked at her guiltily, cast his eyes down and rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Sorry," he mumbled, dropping his arm. Ginny could feel the anger rising in her chest.

"I felt bad about invading your privacy for weeks. Weeks! And you were worse than me, and you even made me feel bad about it!" She rose from her chair and angrily snatched her book, kicked the chair, and started up toward the dormitory stairs.

"Ginny--wait," Harry said coming up behind her. They were in the familiar spot of their last fight and Harry was looking at her pleadingly as she turned from the foot of the steps.

"I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have done it, but I want you to know that the advice you gave that night. Well, it helped. Hermione has been helping loads with all the things I need to learn, Ron too..." He cleared his throat uncomfortably, but Ginny continued to glare at him.

"And earlier today, you--you really helped..." He faltered as his voice hit a slight quiver.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to help you," she said in a tight voice. Harry nodded silently, his eyes downcast sheepishly. Ginny sighed and softened her expression.

"Let's just call it even, okay?" she said. He looked up at he quickly, eyes lit, and nodded. She held out her hand and he grasped it, shaking it firmly.

"I s'pose I should get to bed," she said, releasing his hand. He nodded again but didn't move. She felt a boiling sensation rise into her chest and she placed her hand there, attempting to calm it.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked.

"Fine," Ginny stammered.

He was watching her, with concern, with attention. The glow of the common room brushed his cheeks, making them almost look flushed. His eyebrows were pinched inward with concern and his green eyes, they seemed to glimmer. Like emeralds or some other fine jewel. Ginny couldn't stop staring. His mouth was set and his bottom lip protruded out slightly. If only she could touch her own to his again.

She stepped down so that she was level with him and reached up to trail her finger tips down his arm. He watched her move her arm, but stood motionless. Her chest was burning. 'Bed...I need to go to bed,' Ginny thought as her fingers traced Harry's arm. She stepped back from him, "I need to go to bed." He nodded as she took another step backward and placed her hand on the banister.

Then, as if it took all of his energy, Ginny watched Harry walk over, reach out and take her hand off the banister. He pulled her down to his level and she heard his breath quicken. He turned his head away, but kept hold of her hand.

"Harry?" she whispered, stepping closer, the stirring rising to her throat. He looked back at her, his eyes sparking, yet filled with apprehension. She reached up and traced her fingertips across his cheek and as if it was a sign, a go ahead or something, he leaned down and kissed her.

She gasped in surprise, but quickly breathed into him, her lips slightly parted as his mouth parted a little. They were sharing breath and the bubbling from her throat rose and exploded in her head. She wanted him to kiss her more. She wanted to breathe him in and give her breath to him. She stretched up on her toes and encircled her arms around his neck. He reached down, drew his arms around her waist and then pulled his mouth off of hers only to bury his face on her shoulder. He felt so vulnerable, and even just a little bit hers. She felt his lips brush the back of her neck and she pulled away to look at his face once again.

"Sorry," he mumbled, stepping back as to separate their bodies once more. She shook her head and stepped toward him.

"Kiss me again," she whispered. His mouth fell open slightly, but he stepped toward her once again and lowered his mouth to hers. Her lips were on fire and she wanted to be nowhere else than standing at the steps of the girls dormitories with her lips pressed to Harry's. His mouth parted and breath traveled into her mouth liking a soft breeze whipping through a musty, rainy day.

Her own mouth felt blazing and dying to be quenched, so she parted her lips farther, as if praying for the rain to fall on a parched land. He pulled her close to him, his lips pressing more firmly and she pushed her tongue into the part in them. His breath quickened, but she needed to feel it in him, to drink him in.

She reached up and curled her fingers in his hair, willing him to pour into her. The heat was swirling in her head, like hot magma ready to burst. She needed the rain and wind or else she might die.

His hands slid down her back and pulled her even closer. Their tongues danced and she felt the stirring of her emotion roll off of her tongue and drip into him. Her flesh rose and a foreign heat rushed through her body. She wanted him to kiss her and touch her all over. His hands were resting on the small of her back; she took them and moved them lower. He gasped slightly in her mouth and she realized how far she was pushing it. She broke away from his mouth and studied his face.

He was looking back at her, his eyes steady, yet unsure, and his cheeks were patched with bits of pink. His tumescent bottom lip swelled out as his breath glided over it.

"I should go to bed," she said, backing away from him. He nodded as she backed toward the stairs. "Goodnight," she whispered, turning toward the stairs. She looked down at him staring up the stairs at her before she rounded the corner. She raised her hand and waved. He did the same and she turned to go to her room.

After she had slowly pulled on her pajamas and crawled into her bed, she watched the shadows play across the drapes of her four poster bed. She squeezed her eyes shut, rolled to her side and prayed 'please let it be real' until she drifted to sleep.