Bizarre Love Triangle

Part I: New Arrivals

All was normal at Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

Well, as normal as the former home of a dark family that was currently headquarters to the primary Voldemort resistance movement could be, that is.

The headquarters' permanent residents, minus two, were enjoying a much too rare lazy Sunday morning in the front parlor. Remus Lupin sat in a far corner of the room engrossed in a particularly intense grudge match with the reigning house champion of Wizard's chess, one Ronald Weasley.

Only a few feet away sat Hermione Granger, her face screwed up in disbelief, but trying her hardest to keep an open mind while reading an editorial on Crumple-Horned Snorkacks written by her new friend Luna Lovegood for the latest issue of The Quibbler.

Fred and George Weasley sat in uncharacteristic silence on one of the sofas, looking quite seriously over the latest financial statements they had assembled for their rapidly growing business, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

The second couch was occupied by Molly Weasley and her eldest son, Bill. They had once again taken up a long-standing debate over the appropriate length for the young man's hair.

The youngest Weasley, a girl by the name of Ginny, sat on the floor spinning a pocket sneakoscope in an attempt to earn the attention of a fluffy ginger cat.

Absent from the idyllic scene were the patriarch of the Weasley clan, Arthur, and the property's reluctant owner, a youthful Auror by the name of Nymphadora Tonks. Mr. Weasley had been called into the Ministry of Magic on emergency business, while Tonks, as the young woman preferred to be called, was off on her most important mission of the summer.

She was rescuing Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, from the clutches of his Muggle relatives at Number 4, Privet Drive.

Harry's arrival at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix was heralded by several loud crashes in the entrance hall and a frustrated exclamation of "Bollocks!"

This, of course, inspired an even more unpleasant noise in the form of the wailing portrait of the house's former mistress, Mrs. Black.

All of the occupants of the parlor rushed towards the entranceway to find that Tonks had once again had an encounter with the umbrella stand at the front door, this time sending the contents of Harry's school trunk flying across the room. Fortunately for Hedwig the owl, Harry had possessed the foresight to turn down Tonks' offer to carry her cage as well.

"Are you alright, Tonks dear?" inquired Molly in a very concerned voice, causing Harry to raise a curious eyebrow.

"Yes, Molly, we're fine. Just more of my usual, I'm afraid," responded Tonks sheepishly, heading towards the portrait. She met Lupin at the bottom of the stairs and they exchanged a quick smile before heading up to silence Mrs. Black

When the two returned back down the stairs, they found poor Harry suffocating under the attentions of two very concerned females. Mrs. Weasley had him in something of a bear hug, while Hermione hovered around him rambling on about all the news they had wanted to tell him over the past two months.

The remaining Weasleys, along with Tonks and Lupin, set about returning Harry's possessions to his trunk. When they finished, they found that Molly and Hermione were still fussing over the new arrival.

"Mum, give him some air!" said Ron, grabbing his best friend's arm and dragging him into the parlor.

"I'm so glad you are here, mate," he continued. "You have no idea what it's like here all day alone with Mum, Ginny, and Hermione! I thought I was going to go absolutely barking!"

This comment gained Ron a round of laughs from the other males and Tonks, but three very pointed glares from his mother, his sister, and his other best friend.

"Tonks, dear, why don't you come and help me get lunch ready," said Mrs. Weasley. "Those Muggles have been starving the poor dear, I know it!"

As soon as they disappeared from sight, Harry turned a confused look to his friends and asked, "Since when does your mum invite Tonks to help in the kitchen?"

"Oh, Mum absolutely loves Tonks," said George with a grin.

"Since when?" Harry asked skeptically.

"Since Tonks told Snape off for giving up on your Occlumency lessons," answered Fred.

"In front of the whole Order!" added Ron enthusiastically.

"She didn't!" Harry exclaimed, looking to Bill and Lupin for confirmation.

"I'm afraid she did," answered Lupin gravely, although Harry was sure he saw a hint of amusement in his eyes. Or was that pride?

"Did you get to see it?" Harry asked, returning his attention to Fred and George.

"Unfortunately, no," answered George. "Mum was still a bit hacked off at us for leaving school early, so we didn't get to join up until later in the summer."

"So, what happened?" Harry inquired, looking back to Lupin. But, Bill answered instead.

"It was incredible. As soon as Snape walked in, Mum stood up to tell him off. But, before she could take two steps, Tonks started screaming and ran at him."

"She even punched him in the nose, the great greasy git," added Ron.

"Ron!" admonished Hermione, pinching his arm and reminding him with a roll of her eyes that Lupin was still in the room.

Fortunately, their former professor seemed to have gone temporarily deaf and allowed the comment to stand uncorrected.

"So, now Mum dotes on her like one of us," said Ginny with a grin.

As if on cue, Tonks emerged in the doorway, looking slightly beaten down.

"Bill, you need to talk to your mother," said Tonks, flopping onto the nearest chair.

"Why is that?" asked Bill with a wicked grin.

"Because I'm sick and tired of hearing again and again about the many virtues of William Weasley!" Tonks retorted. "I can't be alone with her for TEN SECONDS without hearing how brave your are, how kind you are, how smart you are. I KNOW you were bloody HEAD BOY! I was there!"

"Mrs. Weasley is trying to fix up Tonks and Bill," Hermione explained to Harry unnecessarily.

"So, what did you say?" Bill asked Tonks, his smile widening.

"I told her that guys with ponytails are a bit too femme for my taste," answered Tonks dryly, earning sniggers from Harry, Hermione, and Ginny, and riotous laughter from Ron and twins.

"You didn't!" exclaimed Bill, horrified.

Tonks ignored this and asked, "Can't you just talk to her? Tell her why it is such a bad idea?"

"Why don't you tell her?" countered Bill.

"What am I supposed to say? 'I'm sorry, Molly, I can't date your oldest son because A) he isn't my type and B) I have already had my heart torn apart by his younger brother,'" Tonks replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Now, that is a piece of revisionist history if I've ever heard any," came an amused voice from the doorway.

Tonks spun immediately around, screamed "CHARLIE!" and launched herself at the second oldest of the Weasley sons with a force that knocked them both to the ground.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the twins murmured among themselves, attempting to decipher the meaning of the cryptic exchange between Tonks, Bill, and Charlie.

In the corner of the room, a werewolf frowned deeply, unbeknownst to anyone but himself and a very observant young redheaded girl, who had been carefully studying his reaction to the entire conversation.