Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

CHAPTER NINE

Draco tugged on Harry's shirt sleeve, pulling him quickly down the staircase. In any other situation, Harry would have complained, but today was different. Today he had connected with Draco, felt some unseen energy, known some unfound fact. He felt his friend's hand reach down from his smooth sleeve and search frantically for his fingers, grasping his hand needily. The tension that had risen in that one moment, that pivotal second, was engulfing them both, leading them in frantic silence to the main hall, then to the doorway, and out to the forbidden forest. They shared naught a word, but none were needed, for the feeling of each other was all they would need.

As soon as the last sliver of Hogwarts disappeared behind a dark, rough trunk, Draco let his clammy fingers reluctantly drop Harry's. He brought his hand up to his forehead, and clasped his side with the other one. "Side ache," he gasped slightly. "Ow!"

Harry smiled shakily at Draco, eyes catching on the beads of sweat resting on the edge of his hairline. Too damn good-looking, he is. God, I'm alone in the forest, horny, with my best friend that I'm overwhelmingly attracted to . . . life is too difficult. Even the sweat on his forehead is turning me on! God, Draco, just get it over with, it's so hard to resist temptation . . .

Draco looked back up at Harry. "Well, I suppose you're wondering why I dragged you out here," he muttered, biting his lip. His hands dropped and clasped together, squirming nervously as if they wanted to leap right off the ends of his arms. Looking up, he realized that his raven-haired crush was gazing right at them, an unreadable expression forming on his face. He quickly dropped his hands to his sides, and Harry glanced back up.

"Errrr, yes, as a matter of fact I was," Harry drawled, a smirking slightly. "It's not every day that you drag me spontaneously out of bed and into the forbidden forest for a 'walk'."

Draco's face had now drained of all color that his pale skin had ever possessed, and Harry could see the boy's chest rise up and down in frantic breath. Damn it, I shouldn't have done this, I'm such a git . . . "It's just that there's something that's been on my mind lately, and I really need to tell you. I can't keep it to myself any longer. You . . . you probably don't agree, but..."

Harry cocked one eyebrow. His mind told him to act like he wasn't nervous, but he was. God, he was. In his dreams, at least, this would be the moment where Draco slammed him down to the ground and ravaged him, right on the spot. You know he's not going to confess some lifelong love for you, you daft prick! Stop letting your imagination run away with you! he tried to tell himself, but to no avail. It'll be some silly little thing. It's nothing. His face showed he was convinced, but his mental voice weakened as the second progressed. Nothing at all . . .

"Hurry up then!" he chuckled lightheartedly, hiding all signs of nervousness. Draco's eyes widened, and he gulped.

"Harry, I . . ." he started, staring into the boy's eyes . . . am an idiot! he finished his sentence in his head. Better just get it over with . . .

He gulped, and continued . . . "I . . . don't feel too well." No, Draco, you git! Why didn't you just confess? You feel fine!

Harry nodded, his brow wrinkling in concern. "We have time--it's not like we'd want to catch the last half an hour of class. We'll have detention either way. Maybe you should . . . lie down," he suggested, tugging gently on Draco's shirt sleeve and leading him to a large patch of grass and moss next to a tree. "This look comfortable enough?"

Draco nodded, grimacing. Well, that's it. I blew it! The chance of me telling him how I feel has shrunken down to the size of a raisin. Harry grabbed both of Draco's hands and helped lower him down onto the ground, sitting quickly when the task was finished. "I'm sure we can find something here in the forest that can make you feel a bit better. What's the matter?"

Draco quickly searched his head for a random illness. "I've got an upset stomach--that calls for elfsbaum, right?"

Harry grunted in reply; he was already squatted over the ground a few feet away, looking fervently for something that might serve as medicine. Draco gazed at his concerned expression, waiting for his friend to return with the elfsbaum. He looks so beautiful when he's worried, Draco thought dreamily. God, I wish I could just sit here all day, staring at him. Come to think of it, it's a good thing I didn't tell him how I felt--there's no way in hell he'd return my feelings; I'd never be able to talk to him again. I could never have a moment like this--a moment to gaze at him behind this veil that's known as friendship, his virgin eyes not seeing through to pierce my own. His presence would hide me in shame, this friendship would break. I'd become bitter like my father--and that's the last thing I need right now.

Harry's head popped up brightly. "Here's some!" He plucked it from the ground, and walked back to Draco. He dropped to his knees in front of the boy, and leaned over his head. "Are you feeling any better at all?"

A laugh suddenly rose to Draco's throat. "My my, Harry, you're acting a tad too much like Madame Pomfrey. And no, I'm not feeling any better." Yet another lie. Is that all it will be from now on?

Harry's ears burned a dark red, a trait that still stuck with him all these years. Before he could answer, Draco added, "By the way, if your ears turn any redder I'll have to accuse you of sporting Gryffindor colors. Hurry up, now, give me that elfsbaum!"

Harry handed the plant over to Draco, who immediately began to chew on the tip. "Hope this works," Harry sighed. He watched on as Draco leaned his head back into the moss and closed his eyes, chewing lazily.

"Damn right it will," Draco murmured. "This elfsbaum isn't half bad, you know. Tastes a bit like toffee."

Harry nodded, and stood up, stretching his cramped legs. His eyes scanned the forest for any approaching danger, and caught on something. A movement . . . what was that? "Err, Draco?" he asked timidly, blindly taking a few steps back.

Draco's eyes snapped open, and he looked up. "Yeah?"

"I . . . I think I saw a movement in the forest!" Harry stuttered, eyes widening. "Y-you think maybe it's a werewolf, or something?" God Harry, be brave, just like in your dreams! When Harry was asleep he managed to do heroic things--saving people, killing monsters, all sorts of things. But when he was awake, it was a different story. No wonder I'm not in Gryffindor, he thought.

Draco chuckled. "C'mon Harry, even if it was a werewolf, we could handle that! You know my father has taught me in the dark arts."

Harry's head shook slightly. "I'm not so sure about that, Draco." Oh, come on, I can do this! Maybe if I manage to gather my courage and get through this, I can move on to bigger things! He stared wistfully off in Draco's direction. Like confessing my feelings . . . "I can go further a bit and look if you'd like me to," he stated.

"Is that really necessary?" Draco drawled,but his words were in vain. Harry already had a determined glint in his eye, there was no way in hell Draco could stop him now.

Harry boldly took one step; after its success, he tried another. This just might work! he thought, determined. Keep going! His foot raised again, but before it could really reach the ground . . .

Root. Falling. Shit. Only those three words processed in his mind before he hit the ground. Wait, this is much too soft to be ground!

He looked up to see a smirking Draco inches away from his face, which was resting on the blonde boy's chest. "That was touching," Draco chuckled. In more ways than you could imagine, Harry, he added in his mind.

My GOD he's close, Harry though, smiling awkwardly. Well, might as well take advantage of the situation. . .

"Laugh all you want, Draco, but my arm landing rather oddly . . . I think it's broken." He said, jiggling his shoulder. Let's see if he falls for this, he slyly thought. "Ow! I can't get up properly."

Draco had to use all of his strength not to whoop happily. Stuck in the forbidden forest with Harry on top of me--this day is turning out to be better than I thought! "Really? Here, let me help." He started to lift his arm up to help Harry, but then widened his eyes in a look of--he hoped, at least--surprise. "Whoah . . . this elfsbaum is kicking in . . . hold on a second."

Harry's stomach took one giant leap, then pulled back into place. It's so hard to be so close, and yet so far. Damn. He studied Draco's face closely as the boy wedged his hand between Harry's chest and his stomach, trying to ignore the searing heat that seemed to radiate from the touch. Draco's grimace was a beautiful one--or as beautiful as a grimace could get. Even in ((what Harry thought was)) pain, he seemed to be so graceful, so cunning and gorgeous. His skin was a white contrast against the colorful green behind his head, and his light hair was speckled with dirt and pieces of grass. He almost looks peaceful, even now. Always amazing me, he is.

The "grimace" disappeared from his face, leaving his staring into Harry's eyes. "I'll try to . . help . . you . . now . . ." he whispered breathlessly ((Harry thought the breathiness was from the elfsbaum--little did he know)). His hands moved to the sides of Harry's arms, gripping tightly, yet softly. He had gently hoisted Harry with his arms about a half a foot into the air when a piece of grass fell off of Harry's hair and onto his neck. Suddenly, his arms gave way, and Harry fell back down against him, his head even with Draco's this time.

Draco looked up at Harry less than an inch away from his face, and muttered, "Sorry . . . ticklish . . ."

Harry gazed back down, amazed at their closeness. He lowered his head slightly, so their foreheads slightly touched. "It's quite alright by me," he whispered back. The two boys seemed to be caught in each others gaze like butterflies in a net--each equally mesmerized by the other ones touch, electric shivers jolting through their bodies, the forest disappearing from beneath them; then they fell into that endless chasm, the one we call love. They could feel each others presence there, they knew that they weren't alone.

For the first time in years, Draco wasn't alone, and he wasn't afraid. Determined now to finish what he had began a few minutes ago, he closed his eyes, and raised his jaw slightly. Their lips finally touched, crossing that long-lasting gap, an overdue welcome dissolving like sugar. As he felt Harry's lips move against his, he knew that there was no need for words, no need for him to confess awkwardly to a blank stare, no need for discomfort. There was only them, everything else would work around it. It had to, there was no other way. His lips were on fire as they caressed Harry's, his heart not far behind.

And Harry knew that it would work. He felt his bottled-up feelings release themselves as he slipped his tongue into Draco's mouth, searching for an answer to months of wondering. He knew that he would find the answer if he looked hard enough--but it wasn't necessary He had known all along that it came in the form of a certain Slytherin that he happened to be mounted on top of at the moment, snogging the hell out of.

As he felt Draco's hands reaching up to clasp around his neck, he felt a tear slip out of his closed eye. It would be the last tear for Draco's love yet, the first tear. The end and the beginning. And as much as the answer lay here, the problem did too.