Unfogging a Cloudy Past

Disillusioned Love

Blood. Anguish. Despair. I feel it all. Pain seers through my arm, as the blade carves my over-worked wrists. I lift my hand to the fountain of blood, and infiltrate it with the thick crimson liquid. It pours down under my fingernails, enveloping them with its embodied cruelties.

Hidden in the pain is liberation. Free from family loyalties. Free from chosen identities. Free from life. It's just you and the blade in a delicate game of existence. For once that hot piece of metal pricks my skin, I begin to stratle that very thin line between life and death. The sensation is refreshing, the urge is overwhelming, the satisfaction is divinely innovating.

Lately, this is how many of my nights are spent, drowning myself in this ever-flowing sea of pain and addiction. Pain of the heart, addiction of the soul. Locks of my crestfallen blonde hair become spotted in blood, as I drop my head to the cold, hard floor. The window is open, and I feel the chilly night air, wrap my body into a blanket, and then let go. The urge is returning, I reach for the blade but it is not there. Almost-full-grown fingers rummage around the dark blue, lightly spotted scarlet floor. A bright gleam catches my eye from across the room. Frantically, I move to it. I -

The bathroom rings out with discontentment, loud bangs fill the air. Automatically, my initial reactions are to hoist the blade into my hands, and keep it there. Then to wash away the waterway I had left behind. My secret will not be revealed.

Who the hell is it?

I heard a low sigh, then a slightly louder rumble of commotion as someone unconsciously stumbled into the vase outside the door. I finally exhale noisily, with even the slightest realization I was holding a lungful of air. Relief encases my body. Not many people reside in the comforts of the Malfoy Manor. Explaining why I knew, at once, the identity of my unwelcome visitor.

I-I-It is K-Kroger, sir.

Obviously, you useless piece of junk. What is it you want? And it better be worth it, or you'll be giving yourself a immense amount of punishment for the next week, like last time.

Y-Yes s-sir. Kroger was ordered to give Young Master a message from Mr. Malfoy. He is requesting that you meet him at the lake in 30 minutes.

Is that all of it? Or are you that essentially insignificant that you can only process short amounts of information!

I shivered at my own voice with much satisfaction. I loved the way my voice commanded much respect. After all, I am of a very well respected family.

Y-yes

Excuse me!

My eyes met with his for an eighth of a second before he quickly lowered them. But I was enough time for me to discover the overbearing fear in his eyes. It encouraged me to fully exploit my power as I do everywhere I progress.

Y-Yes

My eyes widened in amazement as I glared down at the little bony creature. How dare he defy me, Draco Malfoy! Laughter echoed all around us, bouncing in and out of every crevice and curve.

You unworthy little piece of s***.

I kicked it to the direction of the door.

How dare you answer me without the proper greeting?

I kicked again, noticing the force the foot made with into back.

I AM your master!!

Kick!

You will not disrespect me ever again.

Kick!

You will never defy me.

Kick!

I had been so wrapped up in my rage; the direction of my kicking hadn't even registered. When I made that final contact with his head I saw him tumble down the winding stair of disaster. As he toppled down each stair, I felt the pain vanish from me and convert to him. And it felt stimulating. For the second time that night, my laughter rang out through the halls.

The ruthless little creature, he doesn't stand chance in the real world. And to think there are people out there who fight for the rights of these...these things. I wonder what father has summoned me for now. That bastard.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~20 minutes later~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Have you given any more thought to my request?

I heard an emotionless voice respond as I neared the edge of the lake. I despised that voice, cold and so capable of wrong.

No, Father. I will not do this.

Don't you tell me what you will and will not do. You will follow my orders because I am your father. Master wishes to have them dead, and you are to see that his wish is fulfilled.

I am to see that I follow my own path. Not to be somebody's little errand boy, like you have become. Master says this. Master wishes that. Master, my ass.

I saw his nose uplift in disgust. Then, his wand was lifted in the air. In correspondence I lifted mine, but I wasn't quick enough. He mumbled a bunch of undistinguishable words, as an orange light shot out of his wand. I began to run, soon finding there was nowhere to hide. When it ultimately made contact with my body, I felt it get heavier. Soon, I was lying on the wet earth unable to lift even a finger. The heaviness was soon lifted and I began to feel a rush as heat captivated my body. Sweat beads swarmed my face. It was hot, too hot. I couldn't breathe. The darkness was surrounding me completely. I felt the heat but I did not see the sun. Where is the light? Don't take me, darkness. Don't - Noooo!