Reflections

Hermione Granger

Entry 58

July 21

I started this log because I thought someone should keep track of all this. I thought someone should remember what happened. Because people forget war and pain and they forget the great things people do to protect them, so those people become a name, lost in history.

I didn't want anyone to forget Harry. Or Ron. Or Ginny. Because everyday I see them do great things, see them sacrifice themselves, just to keep things safe. It makes me so angry to think that people would just forget that. That they wouldn't care.

And I see all the wreckage, all the evil, all that caused this to happen. What caused a seventeen-year-old boy to think the world was his responsibility? Why does it have to be him, why does it have to be us, why didn't somebody stop this before it got out of control? How can the stupid Ministry say it doesn't matter who the Chosen One was, how can the Death Eaters sit there and torture and kill innocent people and even children and feel no remorse? Why does it matter what kind of blood I have, who my parents are? How can someone split their soul, become this evil? Why can't it stop, why can't we fix it? And I want to yell and scream and shout at everyone for being so blind, but I have to keep it deep inside and try to help. Try to think of a time when this can all be over.

It's over now. Or some people think it is. There are parties; I can hear them, so loud they penetrate even the walls of St. Mungo's. Happy. I saw them when I went out and I actually did pull out my wand, I wanted to curse them all. But Neville stopped me. Luna stopped Ron. But we did shout. I shouted at them, "HE MIGHT DIE!"

And they stopped and said, "He is dead."

"NOT VOLDEMORT!" I screamed and they flinched and shook, even though he's dead. "HARRY POTTER!"

And they stared at me. I wanted to shout more, I wanted to, but Ginny said, "Let's go back inside," but I didn't because Ron wasn't finished shouting. You know Ron, he wouldn't stop, and he kept at it and said colorful things "hedidthisforyouhekilledhimandtheydon'tknowwhat'shappeningtohim, hekilledhimit'salotmorethanyoucouldeverdohefacedhimhewentthroughallthatanyou'rebloodycelebratingwhat'swrongwithyoupeopleyouweren'tworthsavingwereyouheshouldhaveletallofyoudie"

And Ginny, Neville and Luna dragged him inside and I stayed, just staring at their shocked faces until Ginny came back out to get me.

So now I'm in the waiting room. It's the one they use for distressed relatives and friends of the patient. Ginny, Neville, Luna, Ron and I are all in there. Ginny's sent an owl off to the rest of the Weasleys and Ron sent one to Hagrid. I should probably send one to my parents letting them know everything's all right.

They're trying to get us to take the calming potions available in this room, this sickeningly bright room with so many stupid decorations. The only one I don't hate it this mirror across from me. It's all blue and rippling like water and I see all six-five, no five-of us reflected in it and it seems so familiar.

If the Healer doesn't come back soon, I'm going to burst in there myself, I swear to God. They said they'd give hourly reports. It's been- oh here comes one. Now don't freak out, Granger-

No change.

Stupid Healer.

I don't even mind Ron swearing at her. She looks like she wants to curse him. She better not or I'll take her apart, no one's allowed to curse Ron but me-

Good, she's gone.

Ron's chewing on his nails too hard, he's making himself bleed, and he's got to stop it.

"Well, what are you writing then?" he says.

I tell him it's my log and he wants to know why I'm writing.

I feel stupid, but "I guess so nobody forgets."

"Good idea," he says and I'm surprised. He wants to write in it. Well, OK.

Hermione's nuts to be writing at a time like this, but if she wants to make sure nobody forgets, then so do I. No one should forget Harry.

He Stunned us, the prat. He bloody Stunned us. What a bloody idiot. What a stupid bloody crazy prat. He'd better not die, or I'll kill somebody, I swear I will.

It took us forever to come round. When we did, God, it was hours later. Hermione went bloody bonkers. I think I did too. So we Apparated there immediately, and the second we got there, we saw we were too late. Wreckage. It was wreckage. So we slid down the hill, screaming "HARRY! HARRY!" and damn, I can't remember ever being so scared in my life. Not in the chess match, or in the Chamber of Secrets, when I saw the dog was Sirius Black, in the Department of Mysteries or when the all those Death Eaters came into Hogwarts, Not even when I was helping destroy those Horcruxes.

We saw Voldemort before we saw Harry. Dead. I don't know how the hell Harry managed it. God...it's just amazing. He did it. He defeated Lord Voldemort.

Anyway, Voldemort was dead. He was stone dead, his red eyes wide open, blank. He looked just how Harry described him. Goddamn creepy. He didn't have a scratch on him.

We stared at the body for a second before we remembered Harry. And we went looking for him, shifting the wreckage, Hermione lifting up great big piles of it with her wand and then I heard something move. And Hermione and me were over there faster than anything. We didn't see Harry at first. But then Hermione moved some rubbish and we found him. I still don't know what the hell was wrong with him. But God, Hermione screamed and I wanted to. He was covered in blood. I mean he was covered in it. His t- shirt was soaked and.... and...God it was awful. He had these weird burns all over him too and his eyes were rolling up in his head all around and he was shaking all over and making these weird noises.

We were freaking out, then I cried, "He's gonna lose too much blood, Hermione!" and she starts pitching things out of her bag, these really heavy books (and a lot of them hit me in the head when she threw them out, but I didn't care) and all this other stuff, until she got her potions bottles and she found a blood replenishing potion and stuffed it down Harry's throat.

Then...then...this is so sick, why am I writing about this? This isn't bloody helping anything.

Ginny wants to write a bit. Well, she can bloody well tell the rest, because I don't want to.

This is all my fault. Ron and Hermione couldn't help not being there. They were Stupefied. I could. I was too late. I didn't come to my senses until the very last minute.

I'd been very depressed by the pond and skipping stones and there was a thunderstorm and I went in and fell asleep, I don't know how. And I had a dream, I dreamed Harry was an Inferi and he was attacking me and I woke up and it was like, all right, that's it, I'm going after him. So I did. Hermione had told me where she thought Voldemort was and I Apparated there. But I was too late. When I got there, Ron and Hermione were already there and so was Harry and...Ron's already described him.

I had a bloody cow. I really did. But we picked him up and Apparated to St. Mungo's and barreled into the waiting room and cut in front of the line and the stupid snotty Welcome Witch said "Hey! You'll wait your turn like-" But then she saw Harry and she said "Oh my God." But I pressed the button for Emergency Healers on her desk and they came down and carted him away. A man came down and asked, "How did he get this way?"

And I said, "We don't know, but Voldemort did it. We found him and Voldemort's body-"

"WHAT?" he screamed.

"He killed Voldemort," I said.

"No- that's not possible-wait, who is he?"

"Who?"

"The patient!"

"He's Harry Potter, of course," I said and wondered how he couldn't recognize him, then I realized, of course, Harry was totally unrecognizable, especially to someone he doesn't know.

The man, who was in fact the Head of the Emergency Ward, asked us where we found "You-Know-Who's" body and we told him the address. He left with a bunch of other people and Hermione said, "I-I guess we should get your parents, Ron."

"And Hagrid," Ron said.

"And Neville and Luna," I said.

Then a Healer coming by said, "You mean Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood? They're already in here. They were supposed to get out today."

God, my head hurts. I guess I'll go get some water. Luna can tell the rest of the story.

Hello, book. I'm Luna Lovegood. Ginny told me to write down how we got in the hospital, she says it gives you something to do. Instead of just waiting. I don't like the waiting myself. I hope Harry doesn't die. He's so nice, and it wouldn't be fair. It just wouldn't.

Well, Neville and I got into the hospital because of another attack on Hogwarts. I don't know how they got in, but it was horrible. I only know what happened to me, I suppose Neville could write down what happened to him. I was asleep when they got in. They came right into my dormitory, which was rather rude of them. I'm a light sleeper though, and I keep my wand with me now, so I cursed the one that tried to kill me. And I cursed the others also; they were awfully surprised that I was awake, so I suppose that was my advantage. Because of that, the only one who died was Mahilde. She was Muggle born. I ran out of the dormitory, screaming. And that woke everyone up.

Then rather a lot of things happened, but I wouldn't want to bore you book. Basically, I got hit with the same thing Hermione got in the Department of Mysteries. And I woke up here. Ginny came into my room and told me about Harry, and I'm really quite worried. So I'm in here now.

That's really all. I hope you liked the story. Neville should tell his now, I think.

Goodbye, book,

LUNA

Hello. This is Neville. Luna passed this book to me and I'm not really sure why. Oh. I'm supposed to tell about how I got here. Well, like Luna said there was an attack on Hogwarts.

We all got woken by the Fat Lady screaming "NO!" Some Death Eaters were trying to get in and she wasn't letting them in and she screamed, but then they blasted her and she had to run into the next portrait.

There were more Death Eaters this time. Bellatrix Lestrange was there. She came after me, calling on about my parents and how she tortured them and how she was going to do the same to me and... I don't know what happened. I killed her. It feels so odd to say that. I killed someone. But it was Bellatrix Lestrange, a Death Eater, and the one who killed Sirius Black, who tortured my parents into insanity. I shouldn't feel bad about Killing her. But I do.

Dean's dead. So's Flitwick. Professor Sprout...Dennis Creevey.... Hannah Abbot...so many people. Dead. But no more You-Know -Who now. Harry killed him. Harry.... what if he dies too? He can't. I can't handle someone else dying, especially Harry. I never said thanks to him, for getting my Remembrall back. Or for teaching me, in the DA. Or for when he was going to give the Prophecy to them, to save me. Or for a lot of stuff. Thanks for defeating You Know Who Harry. Thanks for trying so hard.

I just want a chance to say it.

The books finally got back round to me again. Everyone's had their say, their feelings, this moment are all captured here, on the pages. The boiling pit of fear and despair inside me is bubbling and I feel like I want to throw up again. I can't lose Harry. We can't lose Harry. I want to see him, talk to him, hear him make some stupid joke, or tell me to stop looking at him that way, or go on about Quidditch forever, or just shout, tell us to shut up arguing, he's doing this one alone. If Harry dies, so will a part of me. It's always been the three of us. Without Harry...it will be broken, it'll be gone. I want to see him again. Please, please, please...

Bloody Voldemort!

Wow, I actually sort of almost swore. Shocking. Even if I didn't actually say it. Ron would be proud.

Ron...Ron has his head in his hands. I think he might be crying, but he doesn't want to show us. I don't care. I'm crying all over the place. So's Ginny. Neville's sniffling. Even Luna's eyes look bright. We all just sit here, silent.

Please.

I look into the mirror and I see my face, pale and tear stained. And Ginny and Ron's and Neville's and Luna's. Our reflections all blur together in the water like mirror, swirling...we're all the same person right now. We're all waiting for Harry. We're all scared. We all want him back. We want him alive.

We all want the world to remember Harry Potter and what he did and what a good person he w- is. Remember Harry Potter.

The mirror is glinting in the light. I keep looking at it, but all I see is fear.

FIN