Extreme Snape-Over

"I think it's a fantastic idea, love."

Severus Snape glared incredulously at the werewolf seated across from him.

"A fantastic idea for whom, exactly?" This provoked an uncomfortable squirm from Remus, who suddenly became quite interested in his coffee. Severus merely smirked and tossed the morning edition of the Daily Prophet to the other side of the table. He was just getting up for more coffee when a smallish, dark-haired whirlwind flew into the staff room.

"Morning all!" Harry said cheerily, practically sprinting for the coffee pot.

"Good morning, Harry" Remus replied with a smile. "Care for a muffin? Madame Hooch brought them in this morning."

"No time," Harry said, pouring a mug of coffee and tipping it back. "Exams today. Students are going nutters. Had a Hufflepuff girl throw up in class yesterday, all over my best robes. Still on for dinner this weekend?"

"Of course," Remus said, winking at Severus, who scowled.

"Right. Well, see you Saturday at seven then. Severus, don't forget that illumination potion. I need it for my sixth-years Monday. Say, mind if I borrow the paper?" With one last gulp of coffee, Harry grabbed the Prophet from the table and swept out of the room, leaving only minor traces of destruction in his wake.

Remus chuckled. "Never changes, that one."

"Too damned cheery, if you ask me," Severus muttered, but there was no real malice behind his words.

"Well, he's young, handsome, has already defeated the darkest wizard in the history of the world, and hasn't a care. What's not to be cheery about?"

"Yes, but does he have to infect the rest of us with it?"

Remus's eyes twinkled. "Aw, does our ickle Harry make mean, nasty, Severus feel all warm and fuzzy inside?"

"Shut up, you mangy beast."

"Make me." There was a challenge in Remus's eyes, which Severus gladly accepted.

"Oh, believe me, I shall." Remus leaned forward across the table, his eyes darkening in that way that always drove Severus crazy. Severus met him halfway, his pulse quickening. And then he caught sight of the clock over Remus's shoulder.

"After class, love. I'm late." He jumped up from the table and Remus sighed, resigned.

"See you before dinner?"

"Mmm," was all Severus said, but there was a promise in his wicked gaze.

***

Harry settled down in front of the fire and reached into his bag for the exams. Nothing like spending your Friday night alone, marking exams, he thought, with only a tiny hint of bitterness. He rather enjoyed his normal, boring life. He knew that at twenty-three, most of his peers spent every night in a different bar getting pissed beyond comprehension, and every morning waking up in a different bed, but that just wasn't the life for him. He loved the stability of his job, the constancy of knowing he always had a home in Hogwarts.

Teaching really was a perfect job for him. He knew the dark arts better than anyone who had passed through the school since the days of Tom Riddle, and he loved being around the students. He hadn't had much of a childhood, so witnessing their adolescent anxieties and woes gave him back a piece of his youth that Voldemort had taken away.

But it would be nice to have some semblance of a social life, he thought with a sigh. He thought somewhat wistfully about Remus's recent relationship with Severus. After Sirius's death, it had seemed no one and nothing would ever make Remus smile again. Odd that greasy, nasty Severus should be the one break through Remus's depression and make him see the point in living again. Of course, Severus wasn't really all that greasy or nasty these days, come to think of it. It appeared Remus had had a positive affect on him as well.

Be nice to find that. Just one other person I could share everything with. Ah well, guess I'll have to settle for intruding on Remus and Severus and generally making myself a nuisance whenever possible.

Smiling, Harry felt around in his bag for the exams, but his fingers lit on something with a different texture. He pulled it out and realized it was the Daily Prophet he had "borrowed" from the staff room the day before. Settling back into his chair with a grin, Harry unrolled the paper and shook it out.

Let's see what business Rita's been sticking her quill into these days.

Once he had read it through, Harry folded the paper and glanced at the back page. There was a full-page article in flashy, bold print. There were two pictures along the bottom: one marked "before" of a rather unattractive, sad-looking witch, and the next marked "after" with - presumably - the same witch, looking beautiful and happy.

The headline read: "ARE YOU UNHAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU LOOK? GETTING TIRED OF CASTING THOSE TEDIOUS GLAMOURS EVERY DAY? WANT TO IMPRESS THAT SPECIAL WITCH OR WIZARD? WELL, READ ON, BECAUSE RITA SKEETER, IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE DAILY PROPHET, HAS THE PERFECT SOLUTION FOR YOU!"

Harry chuckled and read on, unable to believe anyone would actually put themselves through so much just for their own vanity.

"Rita Skeeter is looking for the perfect candidate for her upcoming feature: From Witch to Bewitching: An Extremely Magical Makeover. Candidates must be a witch or wizard over the age of consent, with a desire to improve their physical appearance through the aid of drastic magical means. The candidate will receive free magical treatments administered by a professional cosmetic mediwizard. In exchange, the candidate must agree to allow Rita Skeeter full coverage of the procedure, including photographs, in the Daily Prophet. All interested parties should owl Ms. Skeeter c/o The Daily Prophet."

Harry shook his head. Who on earth would do such a thing? He wondered if Remus and Severus had seen the article. He could only imagine the scathing remarks Severus was sure to have on the subject. He would enjoy asking him about it at dinner the following evening.

Rolling the paper up and placing it back in his bag, Harry took out the exams and got to work on his marking, a small grin curving his lips as his mind occasionally drifted back to the article, and to Severus.

***

Severus was beginning to get annoyed by the fourth knock.

"Remus, get out here," he growled, turning a page in his book. Remus emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, a white towel wrapped daringly low across his hips. Severus allowed his eyes to roam the pale, slender form before scowling fiercely.

"There's someone at the door."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"Well, I assume it's the brat." He turned another page, but he was no longer looking at the book.

"And you can't answer it because....?" Another knock sounded, louder this time.

"He's your guest."

"Nonsense! He's our guest, Severus." Severus harrumphed. "He is! You know he enjoys your company every bit as much as mine."

"Don't know why," Severus muttered.

"Neither do I," Remus said, grinning when Severus shot him a glare. He stalked slowly toward Severus and straddled the frowning man's lap, knocking the forgotten book to the floor. "We're all the family he has," Remus said seriously, looking deeply into Severus's eyes. "Ever since Dumbledore... and then Hermione... and you know he and Ron don't see each other that often these days." Remus stroked a hand along Severus's cheek, tracing a finger softly along his bottom lip.

"You're right," Severus said, conceding rather unhappily.

"Good," Remus said, placing a lingering kiss against Severus's willing mouth. A much louder knock at the door startled them. Remus jumped up, just catching the towel as it slipped scandalously low.

"Since you've decided you're just as important to Harry as I am, you can answer the door and keep him entertained while I get dressed."

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Remus was already in the bedroom. Swearing quietly, Severus rose creakily from his chair. He was only just forty-three, but long years of consistent exposure to cruciatus had left his joints and bones stiff, especially in the perpetually rainy weather.

The knocking came again, and Severus yelled at the door. "Oh, stuff it, will you? I'm coming." He made his way over to the door and yanked it open, bracing himself to be "Harry'd."

"Severus! Hello! I was wondering if anyone was here - thought maybe you'd forgotten. What are you and Remus getting up to down here, anyway. Don't suppose I want to know, do I? Anyway, have you seen the Prophet from the other day?" He waved the paper in Severus's face. "Isn't it crazy? The contest, I mean. Who would go in for such a thing? Figured you'd have something to say about it. Where's Remus then? Tired him out, have you? I can come back if it's a bad time."

Severus stared at the slight young man grinning before him in awe. He hadn't even paused for a breath throughout that entire diatribe.

"Is it ever a good time," he muttered rhetorically.

"Well, from what Remus tells me, you two are having an awfully good time." Severus frowned at him, but Harry merely laughed.

"Come in," Severus said finally, waving him through the door. "Remus is getting dressed."

Harry threw himself into a chair and thrust a bottle of wine at Severus, who took it somewhat warily.

"Thought if we were going to be doing this regularly, I should contribute something," he said almost sheepishly.

Severus nodded and went to the table, where he uncorked the bottle and poured two glasses. He handed one to Harry and sat down across from him, unsure of what to say. He and Harry had certainly gotten along better after their forced partnership during the war, but their friendship was tentative, to say the least.

"So," Harry said, gesturing with his glass of wine. "Have you seen the prophet?"

Severus frowned again. "Yes, I've seen it. Complete rubbish. That woman wouldn't know quality journalism if it hexed her right in her enormous, polyester-clad arse."

Harry snickered. "True. She has a nose for garbage, that's for sure. I mean, who would actually do something like this, and allow her to document it?"

"Remus doesn't think it's a bad idea," Severus said, and then opened his eyes in surprise. He hadn't really meant to share that with Harry.

"No. You're joking. Really?"

Severus nodded. "Thinks it's quite clever, actually. Good for readership, human interest, helps out some poor ugly sod in the process. Some nonsense."

Harry practically shuddered. "How horrific. I'd think Remus would have more integrity than that."

"You'd think," Severus agreed, sipping his wine. At that moment, Remus stepped out of the bedroom, looking quite dapper in his nicest blue robes.

"Harry! Hello! Talking about me, were you? Heard my name when I opened the door."

"We were just -" Severus began, but Harry jumped in.

"Discussing this Rita Skeeter article. Severus was telling me you think it's a good idea."

Remus had the good grace to blush. "Well, yes. I don't think it's a bad idea. Kind of nice, actually. And it's totally free."

Harry looked at him with intense emerald eyes. Severus had never really taken the time during all those years together to notice just how bright they were. Almost unnatural, really.

"Remus," Harry said carefully, "you aren't thinking of volunteering for this, are you?"

"Merlin, no!" Remus said, and then flinched. So did Severus. Harry looked between them, confused.

"But you..." Harry thought for a moment as Remus and Severus shared a look. "Oh. I see. You want Severus to do it." Severus was slightly pleased to hear that Harry sounded appalled by this.

"No!" Remus exclaimed, flushing a deeper red. "No, it's not that I want him to do it, or to change the way he looks... well... not for me, anyway. I'm perfectly content with the way he looks." Severus snorted, and Remus shot him a meaningful look. "It's just that... well... when you've been through...er... certain things... sometimes your self esteem suffers. A makeover is a good way to get a fresh perspective on life. That's all I meant by it, honestly."

Harry didn't look quite convinced. "Severus, you aren't actually thinking of going through this, are you?"

"No, of course not," Severus said gruffly, but he wouldn't meet Harry's eyes.

"Listen," Remus said, desperate to change the subject. "Let's just forget about all this Rita Skeeter nonsense and have our dinner, alright?"

He was met with two very relieved agreements.

***

Harry strolled slowly through the halls, letting his mind wander as he made his way back to his rooms. He was still a bit concerned with what had happened at dinner, but he tried to tell himself it wasn't his business. After he brought up the article, Remus and Severus both seemed incredibly uncomfortable throughout the meal. He hoped they weren't fighting because of the things he had said.

He truly was surprised that Remus had suggested such a thing. He'd never seemed to Harry to be all that concerned with outward appearances. Sirius had been incredibly attractive, of course, but Remus never seemed to treat Severus any differently because he wasn't quite as good looking. In Remus's defense, he did seem to be genuinely worried about Severus's self confidence, or lack thereof.

Harry smirked slightly. He'd never known a man more sure of himself than Severus Snape. He was sure Remus's intentions were good, but he didn't think Severus was the type who needed to know he was handsome to be satisfied with himself. But then again, he didn't know Severus quite as well as Remus did.

Feels like I do though, he thought, pausing to gaze out a window at the midnight blue sky. Seven years of being student and teacher, plus five years at war together will do that to you, I suppose. Times like those can bring even the unlikeliest of people together. His faint smile died as he thought of Draco Malfoy, grey eyes wide and frightened as he lay, bleeding, in Harry's arms.

There had been no declarations of love, no reconciliations, not really much affection at all. But there had been respect, trust, admiration, and perhaps just a bit of regret. Harry would never be able to shake the feeling that he should have, could have, done something to change the course of Draco's life, if only he'd been more willing to see past the Malfoy facade. Even after Draco had declared his loyalty to the side of the light, Harry had had trouble buying into it.

He would always remember Draco's last words to him - they would haunt him every July 31^st - his birthday, the day of Voldemort's death, and a new international holiday in the wizarding world.

Malfoy's never say they're sorry, Draco had said, his voice low and raspy. Harry had to lean closer to hear. But I am.... Harry. And then the mercurial eyes had gone glassy, and the rasping stopped, and Harry knew he'd lost of piece of himself forever.

Shaking himself out of his maudlin trip down memory lane, Harry stepped away from the window and continued on to his rooms, his mind troubled, but his heart strangely light.

***

"You did what?" Severus growled, and it was terrifying enough to rival anything Remus could muster, even in wolf form.

"Well, I knew you wouldn't do it on your own, so I thought I'd give you a little nudge." Remus toyed the cuff of his shirt, afraid to meet the gaze of the man who'd given him so much. He'd only wanted to give him something in return.

"Did it ever occur to you," Severus ground out through clenched teeth, "that the reason I wouldn't do it on my own was because I want no bloody part in it?"

"Look, nothing's set in stone. You have to be chosen from among all the entries, and then of course you're not bound to say yes. But if you did get chosen..."

"Remus..."

"I'm only saying if."

"Remus..." Severus sighed. "I know you think you're trying to help me by making me feel better about myself, but trust me when I say I don't need a ruddy makeover to do that. I already have everything I could possibly need."

"But not everything you want?"

"Listen Remus. I grew up believing I didn't deserve love, didn't deserve happiness. That's why I jumped on the Dark Lord's bandwagon when he paid me the smallest bit of attention. Then Albus..." Severus's voice cracked a bit as he said the name of the man he'd looked up to so much, but he swallowed roughly and went on. "Albus showed me that I had as much right to happiness as anyone else. And then during the war I reconnected with you and I discovered that there is happiness to be had, if you're lucky enough to find it. And it doesn't have anything to do with fame, fortune, or looks. You make me feel handsome Remus - I don't need a makeover for that."

Remus stared at Severus with shining amber eyes. He walked over to the sofa and sat down, curling into Severus's side.

"Thank you," he whispered, nudging in as close as he could.

"You're welcome," Severus said, running a hand through Remus's silver-gold hair. "Now, can we just forget about this makeover nonsense?"

"But what if you do get chosen? I mean, it's such a great opportunity."

"Remus!" Severus yelled, stiffening and pulling away. "I do not wish to discuss this any further."

"But really, you're being stubborn -"

Severus leapt to his feet, pointing a finger angrily in Remus's face. "And you're being bloody obstinate! I don't understand why you're pushing this!"

"Because I want to see you smile!"

That stopped Severus cold. "What?"

Remus took a shaky breath. "When you and I first... well, when we discovered how we felt about each other... you used to smile. I- I'd never seen anything quite like it. Honestly, I don't think I saw you smile once in seven years of school. And then with Voldemort and the war, nobody had much cause to smile. But then you did, and it was like... it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Now the only time you smile is when we talk about Albus or when you're making fun of Harry."

Severus felt totally deflated. He sat down heavily in the chair across from the sofa and leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I had no idea you felt that way," he said finally.

Remus smiled wryly. "Yes, well, you can see why I wasn't in a hurry to bring it up."

Severus couldn't meet Remus's eyes. He stared down at his clasped hands, noting that they were beginning to look older, less elegant than in his youth. When he spoke, his voice was quiet.

"Do you... have a problem with my... with my appearance?"

"What?"

"Is that why you're being so insistent about this? I know... I'm not the most pleasant-looking man in the world. Certainly not when compared with Bla... with other men you've associated with, but I honestly didn't think that mattered to you. Was I wrong?"

"No Severus, you weren't wrong. You've not been listening to me. I love the way you look, but I can tell that you're not happy about something. I know it could be something totally unrelated, but I just thought maybe this would be a distraction... something to take your mind off... off whatever it is that you can't talk to me about. That's all."

Severus nodded slightly and finally raised his eyes to meet Remus's.

"So... when do we find out who the winner is?"

***

Harry was just finishing up his lesson plan for the following day when a soft knock sounded at his door.

"Just a moment," he called, pausing to shrug his robe on over his flannel pants and ratty t-shirt. He swung the door open and his eyes widened in surprise to see Severus standing there, looking as though he'd been run over by the Night Bus.

"Severus," he said, gesturing for the older man to come in and take a seat. "Is something the matter? Is Remus alright? Please sit down. Do you want some tea?"

Severus nodded and remained silent while Harry bustled about, adding cream and sugar to his tea, and one lump, no cream to Severus's, only briefly wondering how he knew that was how his old professor took it.

"Here you go," he said, handing the cup and saucer to Severus, who took it gratefully. "Now, care to tell me what this visit is all about? Or is this just your annual social call?"

"It's about this damned Rita Skeeter thing," Severus said, his face clouding.

Harry was confused. "What about it?"

Severus took a gulp of the scalding tea and settled back in his chair. He then proceeded to relate to Harry his discussion with Remus.

"He did what?" Harry said.

Severus stared morosely into his tea. "Exactly."

***

Severus wanted nothing more than a hot bath and a soft bed after a day of dealing with impertinent, incompetent, incorrigible brats. After the fifth exploded cauldron of the day, he was ready to tear his hair out. After the eighth, he wanted to scream. And after the thirteenth, he wanted to hack off his own limbs and feed them to one of Hagrid's beasts. He was sure that Neville bloody Longbottom himself couldn't do any more damage than the brainless twits he was forced to teach.

He remembered that Remus had told him he would be out for the evening, and was thankful. Much as he enjoyed the other man's company, he had been craving some time alone. He was no longer angry with Remus for submitting his entry to the makeover contest, but things hadn't been quite the same between them in the few weeks since. If he was perfectly honest with himself, they hadn't been quite the same in some time.

Besides, Harry was angry on his behalf, so Severus didn't need to bother expending all that energy. He had been surprised to find that the young man was quite a good listener. He didn't offer Severus any advice, but he had let it be known that he wasn't pleased with his surrogate godfather.

Severus smiled a bit at the memory of Harry's indignation as he swung open the door to his chambers.

And was immediately met with an armful of damp werewolf.

"Mmmph!" Severus said, as Remus pressed a firm kiss to his mouth.

"What on earth is the meaning of this?" Severus demanded, when he managed to put a few inches of distance between them.

"Great news Severus! I was in the shower, getting ready to go out to Hogsmeade to pick up a few things when Quincy came flying in." Quincy was the spotted barn owl Remus had had since he resumed working at Hogwarts. "He flew straight into the shower! At any rate, it was a welcome interruption. You'll never guess - you've been chosen for the makeover!"

Severus wanted to faint. Or vomit. Or maybe both. Maybe then Remus would feel guilty and not make him go through with it. But then he looked at the absolute excitement in Remus's eyes, and tried to muster a smile.

"Isn't that... surprising," he said finally.

Remus nodded. "I know, but isn't it wonderful? There is a down-side though."

"Oh?" You mean there's actually something worse than going through with this ridiculous makeover? "And what's that?"

"Well, you have to be completely sequestered for a month while they're performing all the spells and charms. I won't be able to see you until the big reveal, so I'll have to move out for a while."

Severus prayed to whatever god might be listening that the relief didn't show on his face.

Remus frowned. "You seem relieved."

Damn.

Severus cleared his throat and steered Remus toward the sofa.

"Sit," he said, and Remus sat. He took a deep breath and plunged in. "It's not that I'm happy you'll be moving out. Not at all. But... well, I've always been rather a solitary person. It's not in my nature to share - my belongings, my space, my feelings - anything. So yes, I'll admit, I will enjoy some time to myself. But that doesn't mean that I don't want you here." He hoped that was reassuring.

Remus nodded and gave him a small smile. "So then after this is all over..."

"Well, I expect I'll look ridiculously handsome and you won't be able to keep your hands off me. I'm planning on several sleepless nights, actually."

Remus grinned. "You can count on that."

Severus relaxed, happy to know that things were okay, if not perfect, between them.

"And Severus?"

"Yes?"

"If you need time... if you need to reevaluate... us.... well, I'll understand."

Severus was touched. "Thank you. That means a lot. I hope I haven't been a complete pillock and gone and hurt your feelings."

Remus chuckled softly. "No, no. Well, actually yes, a bit, to be honest. But it's nothing I can't handle. And I do understand your reasons."

Severus rose and went to the sofa, pulling Remus up. He enveloped him in an embrace and buried his face in Remus's soft hair.

"I do love you," Remus mumbled against Severus's shoulder.

"Thank you," Severus said, knowing it wasn't enough, but that it was all he could give.

***

Harry struggled to ignore the insistent tap tap tap at his window, but it was no use. He rolled over and attempted to untangle himself from the sheets, muttering curses the whole time. Lurching sleepily toward the window, he was surprised to see Quincy, Remus's owl, perched outside, looking rather peevish at being made to sit out in the rain.

"Hullo Quincy," Harry mumbled, untying the scroll from his leg and rummaging on his desk for one of Hedwig's owl treats.

"Here you go, old fellow." Harry stroked the bird's feathers for a moment until Quincy shrugged him off and, with a gentle nip, jumped out the window and took off into the night.

Puzzled, Harry carried the scroll over to his chair and sat down, carefully unrolling it. His eyes widened in both surprise and amusement as he began to read.

H,

Am bored out of my bloody skull. Remus moved to his new quarters last week. Was looking forward to time alone, but that cow Rita Skeeter won't leave me be. She's here every day, nosing into every aspect of my life. Asked about you, actually. Wanted to know if you and I had ever reconciled. Honestly. Interfering bitch.

Am being prepped for complicated spells and am completely miserable. That should give you some sick pleasure, at least. Not allowed to see anyone until the reveal - only allowed to write, which is bloody awful. Never knew I was such a social butterfly, did you? Am actually considering writing to Weasely or Longbottom, out of sheer desperation.

Don't think these mediwizards know what they're doing at all. Will probably end up horribly disfigured and even more miserable.

Hope Remus is happy.

No need to respond - any outside contact might give me hope, and I think Skeeter wants me suicidal.

S.

Harry laughed aloud, and immediately took out a fresh parchment and quill.

***

Quincy returned to the dungeons early that morning, sopping wet and bedraggled, and none too pleased with Severus. He gave him an owl treat to make up for it, but the owl ignored it and bit his finger so hard it drew blood. Sucking moodily on the injured finger and resigning himself to another day of absolute hell on earth, Severus went to the kitchenette for breakfast. When he returned to the front room, he was surprised to see two scrolls laying on his desk. Hedwig was perched beside them, preening her snow-white feathers.

Severus sat at the desk and offered Hedwig a treat warily. She accepted it, and fortunately did not bite him. He took the first scroll and unrolled it, strangely excited that someone cared enough to respond to his pathetic pleas for human contact.

Dear Severus, read the first.

Miss you terribly. Minerva has set me up in some lovely rooms on the fourth floor though, so I can't complain much. Still, would be nicer if you were here with me. Hope all is well, and I hope Rita isn't driving you too mad. Harry asked about you the other day. Wanted to know if you'd killed yourself or any of the mediwizards yet. Not quite sure he was joking.

You haven't killed anyone, have you?

I've done a bit of research on cosmetic magic, and from what I can tell, it's completely painless and not too complicated.

I can't wait to see you, and am counting down the days until the reveal.

Yours,

Remus

Severus smiled slightly and set the scroll aside. He knew the other letter must be from Harry, but he couldn't imagine why the boy would have written him back. Most likely to tell him not to be such a whiny prat, if he knew anything about Harry. With just a bit of trepidation, he opened the other scroll and tried to decipher Harry's untidy scrawl.

S,

Sorry to hear you're so unhappy. And no, I'm not getting some perverse pleasure out of your misfortune. Well, not much anyway. Remus is missing you horribly - he mopes about constantly, sighing and pining and generally driving us all insane. When on earth are you coming back to take him off our hands?

Ugh. Rita Skeeter is such a horrendous old biddy. You can tell her I'm your illegitimate love-child with Professor Flitwick, for all I care. She'll believe (and print) only what she wants to anyway.

For God's sake, DON'T write to Ron or Neville! I value their lives too dearly to have them die of shock. If you're that desperate for entertainment, I'm sure Remus would be happy to write you several times a day. There's always me, of course, but I expect you wouldn't be all that thrilled to get owls from me.

I'm sure Remus will not be at all pleased if you end up disfigured and miserable, but I am positive he would love you anyway. Romantic bugger.

H.

Severus couldn't contain a chuckle as he pulled out a few sheets of parchment. He dipped his quill and quickly wrote:

Dear Remus,

I miss you as well, and am looking forward to seeing you once this is all over. As of yet have not killed anyone, but Rita Skeeter does often evoke homicidal tendencies in me. Harry wrote as well - told me you're moping. Stop. We only have three more weeks to endure this. I think of you often.

Severus

Severus inked his quill again and thought for a moment. With a sly grin, he began to write.

***

Harry grinned from ear to ear when Quincy very nearly landed in his soup at lunch the next day. He looked up to find Remus watching Quincy expectantly, and felt a bit uncomfortable. Then he noticed another scroll tied to Quincy's leg with Remus's name very clearly printed on the front. He took his own scroll and patted Quincy before shooing him off towards Remus.

He immediately forgot about his soup as he began to read his letter, ignoring the strange looks his random bursts of laughter were receiving.

H, it read,

Your letter was unexpected, but not completely unpleasant. It would seem in the years since you graduated from Hogwarts, you've attained something akin to a brain. And is that a sense of humor I detect? I suppose it is a decided improvement over that tediously long sulky phase you went through. Teenagers. They make me shudder.

Oh blast, she's here.

Am officially suicidal. Have spent the entire day under interrogation. Told Skeeter we had not reconciled. When she inquired as to why, I informed her it was difficult to forgive the lying, cheating bastard who broke my heart and stomped all over it, which shocked her into silence for a few moments.

Of course, she had recovered in an instant and wanted all the juicy details.

So I told her that the Boy-Who-Lived is also the Boy-Who-Has-A-Tiny-

Dammit, what now?

At this rate, I shall never finish this letter. I have just been subjected to absolute torture from some mediwizard trainee who has apparently decided he's enamored with me. The little whelp is probably younger than you, and resembles a cross between a garden gnome and a hinkypunk.

Back to my story: I was hoping I had tarnished your name irreparably, but that imbecilic strumpet informed me she didn't believe me, as you were TOO GOOD TO FALL FOR THE LIKES OF ME. The indignation! Am now trying to convince her you were involved in a torrid affair with the Bloody Baron during your schooldays. I'll let you know if I'm successful.

Must go - I'm enjoying this letter a bit too much, and that wouldn't do at all. God forbid I should be anything other than totally pathetic throughout this whole charade.

S.

***

Severus awoke early and immediately looked to his desk, where the regular two scrolls were waiting. Every day for the past week he had received a letter from both Harry and Remus, his only links to the outside. Remus's letters were full of sentiment, which Severus appreciated, though it made him feel a bit uncomfortable. He did miss Remus terribly, and couldn't wait to get his hands all over the werewolf, especially after a month of forced celibacy.

Harry's letters were full of scathing insults and humorous stories, but lately had turned a bit more personal. Severus realized he didn't know as much about Harry as he always thought he had. It was nice to discover there was an actual personality underneath all the Savior-of-the-Wizarding-World crap.

He read Remus's letter over his first cup of coffee and dashed off a reply. He poured a second cup and settled down with Harry's letter, hoping he would be able to write back before Skeeter and crew returned. He was surprised to note that the letter had a more serious tone - but then, he had asked a few serious questions in his last reply.

S,

How are you holding up? You didn't sound nearly as pissed off in your last letter. Speaking of pissed, I went out with Seamus and Dean last night to some hole in the wall outside Hogsmeade. Needless to say, I was desperate for one of your hangover potions this morning. We invited Ron, but he begged off, as usual. I probably ought to feel angry, but I just can't anymore, you know?

I do think Remus truly wants to see you happy. Besides, what does he really have invested in this? He's been a wreck without you, and I don't think he'd put himself through that just to see you with better cheekbones (coincidentally, I think you have the best cheekbones I've ever seen, so there's really no need to change them... what are they doing to you anyway?).

As to your question about Draco: no. Well, not exactly. A few uncomfortable looks, some embarrassing dreams - that was all it ever amounted to. As for the other question: yes. If I'd only realized in time... I suppose that's neither here nor there since nothing can be done about it. I've never admitted this to anyone, but killing Lucius Malfoy was one of the most satisfying moments of my life. But maybe you aren't the best person to be telling that. Are you? You asked about Draco, so can I ask about Lucius?

By the way, the first article in the Prophet hit newsstands today. Miss Skeeter has outdone herself. Don't worry, it's actually quite tastefully done. She doesn't, however, employ any discretion whatsoever when discussing your relationship with Remus. Otherwise it was rather tame.

Oh, did you really sleep with my father on the night he was murdered? Didn't think so.

Hang in there - just two more weeks.

H.

***

Harry grumbled his way through three meals the next day. Remus had gotten his letter at breakfast, but Harry had yet to hear from Severus. He tried to tell himself he was just tired, and that's why he was snipping at everyone, but when he still hadn't gotten a letter by dinner, he admitted his foul mood was entirely Severus's fault.

He trudged back to his room, shrugging off Remus's polite inquiry about his emotional well-being and an invitation for a drink. Whatever Severus had said in Remus's letter, the man had been absolutely glowing all day, and Harry couldn't stand to see it anymore. He didn't stop to ponder why.

He was so grumpy and depressed he almost didn't notice the scroll propped on his pillow.

With a strange little thrill, Harry jumped on the bed and ripped into the scroll, anxious to see what Severus had to say.

H,

I apologize for the delay in my reply. Just as I finished reading your letter, I was bombarded with what I can only describe (with the utmost contempt) as fan mail. Apparently the general populace loves hearing about a greasy, ugly old git like me getting a new look. Of course, I didn't reply to any of it (though I did get a few intriguing offers), but that batty old crow made me read each and every one, while she clucked over me like a great fat hen.

You should have owled - I would have arranged for a bottle of the hangover potion to be sent up to your rooms. I can only imagine the trouble you could get into with those two. They're almost as bad as the Weasely twins. As for that other Weasely (and you know which one I mean) - give it time. You know I've never had the highest opinion of that family, but believe me when I say you'll regret it if you give up on this friendship now. It isn't you he's mad at, you know. It's himself. Even more than Voldemort, he hates himself for not being able to save Ms. Granger. You and I and everyone else all know that there was nothing he could have done, but it's going to take a long time for him to forgive himself. You're doing all you can by continuing to invite him out and letting him know he's not forgotten, that he's still alive. Just be there whenever he realizes that.

I agree that Remus has the best intentions, but you know what they say about the road to hell. I shouldn't be so hard on him, I know. I care about him as well, I honestly do. As for the remark about my cheekbones - I think that's the first time in my life anyone has ever mentioned them (come to think of it, first time anyone's had anything positive to say about my looks). I suppose I should say thank you.

I don't really know what they're doing to me, which is why I'm so sure I'm going to turn out like some frightful Frankenstein's monster. They've taken down all the mirrors and won't let me see the progress. Remus said it wouldn't be painful, but several of the spells cause quite a bit of discomfort. The mediwizard's name is Garret. Suits him. He really has taken a liking to me, god only knows why. He was quite upset over all the ruckus the first article caused, particularly the bits about Remus and me.

Of course you can ask me whatever you like. It doesn't mean I will answer it. However, you were quite honest about Draco, and so it seems I owe you the same courtesy. I've never spoken to anyone else about my relationship with Lucius - I don't even think Voldemort knew. Of course, it was all over by the time I joined his ranks. There was a time when we were very young that Lucius could have made a choice, could have taken the same road Draco bravely chose to take. That was when I cared about him. We were together for about six months. He was my first lover, if it could even be called that. We knew each other intimately, but it sex, and sex only. I always knew he didn't really have any feelings towards me. Oh, we had fun together, playing pranks, terrorizing the professors, releasing pent up frustration with one another - but we both knew it wouldn't last. I am not sad he died, or that you were the one to kill him. My memories of him are not pleasant.

No, I never slept with your father, especially on the night he was killed. Rita Skeeter is a bloody-goddamned-bitch and if she ever says another word about it, I'll shove that quill right up her arse.

Not sure I can stand two more weeks of this. I'm actually looking forward to seeing you (and no, hell has not yet frozen over, that I know of). And Remus too, of course.

S.

***

S,

Did you get the letter I sent earlier? This is just a quick note to see if you'd heard - Daily Prophet readership is up 150% since the articles about your makeover debuted. The reveal is by invitation only - they're even being sold in Knockturn Alley on the black market for 80 galleons! One more week to go - think you can stand it? You're the hottest topic in wizarding London right now. I'm considering compiling all our letters (37 and counting...) and selling it as a memoir. I can't wait to see you (well, if hell hasn't frozen over, then pigs certainly are flying, aren't they?).

H.

***

H,

Got the letter. Would write more, but am now involved in the most intense part of the spell-casting. It's rather painful. Don't know where Remus got his information, but it was grossly inaccurate. To date have received 23 marriage proposals, 4 from men. Apparently my widely-publicized preferences have not deterred the ladies. Am going to take a nap now, if Garret will leave me the hell alone for FIVE BLOODY MINUTES (sorry, he was reading over my shoulder). I'll try to send a longer letter this evening if I can.

S.

***

S,

So, tonight's the big night. I'll see you at the reveal. I've missed you.

H.

***

H,

Tonight.

S.

***

Harry tapped nervously on the rim of his glass, smiling and making the obligatory small talk with the multitude of guests who came out to see Severus's new look. Remus was wearing his best robes, and looking annoyingly handsome. He had attempted to talk to Harry several times, but each time Harry would find someone or something else to distract him.

He was on his fourth martini when Rita Skeeter burst into the Great Hall, blinding the crowd with metallic fuchsia robes.

"Welcome, welcome everyone!" she said, grinning broadly and gesturing for the mass of people to quiet down.

"As you're all aware, Severus Snape was chosen as the lucky recipient of the first-ever Daily Prophet Extremely Magical Makeover!" She paused, allowing a moment for the applause. Harry ordered another martini.

"Professor Snape has been sequestered in his rooms here at Hogwarts for the duration of the process. Our talented cosmetic mediwizard, Garret O'Brien, has worked with the professor during this time to correct a few of the flaws in his appearance, and to enhance his better features."

Harry snorted, attracting a few irritated glances. He muttered something about "cheekbones" and returned to his drink.

"I know we have some very special guests here tonight to witness Professor Snape's transformation. First, we'd like to give a big welcome to Severus's 'better half' - Remus Lupin!" The applause was more polite than thunderous this time, but it pounded through Harry's head like a stampeding elephant.

Remus joined Rita at the staff table, smiling broadly.

"Also, we are honored to have here another colleague and friend of Severus - Harry Potter!" The applause this time was beyond thunderous, and Harry was afraid he would be knocked over from the sheer force of it. He offered a feeble wave from his spot at the bar, but made no move towards the front of the room. A few well-intentioned folks pulled him to his feet and pushed him forward, passing him off from one guest to another until he was flung, quite unceremoniously at the head table. Remus placed a steadying hand on his arm and gave him a grin.

"Had a bit too much to drink, eh Harry?"

But Harry couldn't answer. Rita was talking, and he was struggling to make out her words through the fog in his brain. He didn't quite understand what was happening until the doors to the Great Hall were flung open, and his gaze landed on the handsomest wizard he'd ever seen.

Suddenly, Harry felt stone-cold sober.

The man who was slowly walking toward him could not be Severus Snape, and yet he knew without a doubt that it was. The hair had been cut, dyed, and styled, and was tied back with a navy blue ribbon at the nape of his neck. They had not, thankfully, touched his cheekbones, but his nose was no longer recognizable. It was smaller and more suited to his face, but still dignified. They had done something to his lips - they were fuller and looked positively edible. His eyes were the same onyx they had always been, but they seemed larger and brighter somehow, the lashes longer and sootier. He was dressed in the finest navy blue robes, accentuating broad shoulders and slim hips. Harry hadn't ever paid much attention to his potion master's body, so he wasn't sure how much of that was new and how much was the original.

Severus reached the head table and Remus, tears pooling in his amber eyes, embraced him roughly, whispering softly in his ear. The Great Hall broke out in cheers, and Harry's vision swam.

His gaze met Severus's over Remus's shoulders, but his face was strangely blurry. It wasn't until he felt the wetness sliding down his cheeks he realized he was crying.

"Harry?" Severus said, his voice harsh and low. He gently pushed Remus back and stepped towards the younger man. "What is it? What's the matter?"

Harry opened his mouth, but couldn't get the words out. His head spun, and he cursed himself for drinking so much. Finally, his brain caught up with his mouth and he managed to speak.

"I... I liked you better before. I liked the way you looked before this... oh, God... I'm so sorry... I'm so...."

Before he could say anything else he would later regret, Harry dashed through the Great Hall, stumbling frantically towards the door. He didn't stop running until he reached the lake, where he through himself beneath a tree and wept bitterly.

***

Severus had never been so nervous. He could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes on him as he walked toward the head table. Remus looked good, wearing the robes Severus had given him for Christmas. Harry was dressed in green, just a shade darker than his eyes.

Oh holy hell, Severus thought wildly. I shouldn't be looking at him. I should be looking at Remus. I should be wanting Remus to hold me, kiss me, tell me I look fantastic. Not Harry. Not Harry. Not Harry, not Harry, not Harry...

And then Remus was in his arms and Severus was trying with all his power to concentrate on what Remus was whispering into his ear.

"You look fantastic, love. Absolutely beautiful. I'm so, so lucky to have you. I'm so happy to have you back. Look at you Severus! You're gorgeous!"

But the words were lost on Severus, who only had eyes for Harry. Harry, who was looking at him with those fathomless emerald eyes. They were shining and brilliant, almost as though....

"Harry?" Severus stepped out of Remus's arms, gently pushing him back a few inches. "What is it? What's the matter?"

Remus was staring back and forth between them, looking heart-breakingly confused. Severus wanted to speak, but he couldn't seem to swallow the burning lump in his throat.

But then Harry was speaking, and everyone else in the room disappeared. "I... I liked you better before. I liked the way you looked before this... oh, God... I'm so sorry... I'm so...."

No. Oh no, please...

Severus held out a hand to him, but Harry was gone, staggering through the hall and out the door, never stopping, even when Severus shouted after him.

"Harry!"

He was no longer conscious of all the eyes that were now staring at him curiously. His first impulse was to run after Harry, but Remus was standing in front of him, looking lost and frightened.

"Remus," he said, choking over the emotion in his voice. "We need to talk. But there's something I have to do first."

Without a further word, Severus turned and walked to the end of the hall, stopping when he reached a short, tow-headed young man.

"Garret, I need to see you. Now."

***

Remus was seated at the staff table alone when he returned, swirling a glass of amber-colored liquid.

"Remus," he said as he approached. The werewolf glanced up with sad eyes and nodded slightly.

"I thought so," he said, so quietly it was almost to himself.

"Remus," Severus said again, but the other man held up a hand.

"I know. Just go."

"But I -"

"Go. He doesn't know what's going on. I don't think he even knew how he felt until tonight. You'd better hurry."

"Are we..."

"Okay? No. We're not. But we might be, someday. He needs you more right now."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Neither am I. But you need him more, so go."

Severus wanted to reach out to him, but knew it wasn't a good idea. He swallowed down his emotion and hurried out of the hall.

***

Harry had no idea how long he'd been sitting by the lake. Thankfully it was dark, so the guests were unable to see him as they milled about the castle, gossip buzzing around them like so many bumblebees.

He felt the presence beside him before he saw the dark figure sink to the ground.

"Care to tell me what that was all about?" Harry knew he was trying to sound light, but it didn't come off that way.

"I drank too much," he said, staring resolutely at his hands. "I said some really stupid things. I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

"You didn't embarrass me, Harry."

Harry laughed scornfully. "Of course I did. I embarrassed myself, at any rate. I should never have said the things I did."

"Did you mean them?"

Harry struggled for a moment, wishing he could lie, but knowing he never could.

"Yes," he whispered, two hot tears slipping off his nose and splashing onto his hands. "I know it's ridiculous of me. I mean, you look fabulous, really. I've honestly never seen anyone handsomer. And I know Remus is so happy with the way you look. And that's what matters, right?"

"Harry..."

"Right?" His voice was desperate now, but he couldn't help it.

"Harry, look at me. No," Severus said, when Harry tried to turn his head away. "Look at me."

Harry finally raised his eyes to look at the man he now knew he was in love with.

Oh my god...

The hook nose was back, dominating Severus's face and accentuating the sharp lines of his cheekbones. His lips were back to normal, though Harry thought in passing that they still looked just as kissable. His shoulders were a bit smaller, but it seemed to match his frame better. The eyes were the same, though the lashes were shorter. They were still brilliant, but this time it had nothing to do with charms or spells. The hair, Harry was actually glad to see, had been untouched, though Severus had removed the ribbon and allowed it to fall softly around shoulders.

"They brought in a stylist to cut it the Muggle way," Severus said, tugging at an inky black strand. "There was nothing I could do about it."

Harry shook his head, disbelieving. "How did you... why..."

"It was magic, Harry. It could all be undone. Thankfully a hell of a lot faster than it took to get it that way. As for why... I should think that was obvious."

"It's not," Harry said breathlessly.

"Because I love you, you impertinent brat."

Harry gasped. He knew Severus had never been able to say that to anyone - not even Albus.

"But what about Remus?"

"Remus is a better man than I am, thank god. I know I've hurt him dreadfully, but I think he'll be alright. I hope he will."

"How did you know... how I felt?"

"I didn't. I had no idea until about an hour ago. I didn't even really know how I felt. But when I saw you tonight, it all fell into place."

"Why now?"

Severus sighed. "Because of what you said. I know Remus only encouraged this for my sake, and not because he was dissatisfied with my appearance, but I never expected anyone would prefer the old me. I've never truly felt that I was cared about not just in spite of, but because of who I am, inside and out. And tonight, you made me feel like that, for the first time in my life."

Harry's head was still spinning, but he wasn't at all sure it was from the alcohol.

"Severus, I..."

"Yes?"

"I love you too."

Severus smiled widely, and his face was transformed. He was breathtaking.

"You know," Harry said, scooting closer to the warm body next to him and tilting his head upward, "Rita Skeeter is going to have a field day with this."

"Mmm," Severus agreed, tracing his knuckles along the curve of Harry's cheek.

"Promise me one thing?"

"Anything," Severus said, lowering his face inch by inch toward those sweetly curved lips.

"Never ever tell Rita Skeeter that I have a tiny -"

But he never got to finish his sentence, because Severus's mouth was on his, and the rest of the world, promises and all, slipped away.

"Promise," Severus said, when he finally pulled away. "On one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to prove it isn't true."

Harry grinned wickedly. "Oh, I think I can manage that." He stood up quickly and offered a hand to help Severus up. "Come on gorgeous, I have something I need to show you up in my rooms."

The End!