The Cat Who Looked at a Dean

Professor Blaise Zabini, a short, slender man with olive-colored skin, curly black hair and black eyes, in a crimson coat, was strolling at leisure along a maple alley in the Backs, a little slender gold-red tom cat with spots, tasseled tail, outsize ears, long whiskers and enormous green eyes, a brown breast-band around him, running in front of Blaise. Across the Cam river was seen a row of noble old colleges, among them one that an usual man could not see - Glomery Hall, a wizard college, one of the oldest colleges in Cambridge, near Clare College and the Old Schools. Glomery was for those young wizards and witches who wanted to continue their education after Hogwarts, and Blaise himself spent six years at Glomery, then returned to his first alma mater to teach other young wizards the Care of the Magical Creatures. And now he came to Glomery again, invited by the Master of Glomery, Professor Frith, to read lectures here in the summer holidays. Blaise accepted the invitation gladly. He was happy to see Glomery and the entire town of Cambridge again. He found the teachers hospitable and nice and the students bright. Now he was taking his evening stroll with his familiar, Macavity, content and placid. He remembered how they went for a walk in the Backs when Blaise himself was only a Glomerel, a student in these old walls.

Blaise's musings were interrupted by a pleasant male voice asking:

'Excuse me, can you tell me the way to the Glomery Hall, sir?'

Blaise turned and saw a tall, handsome man with short gray hair and elegant side-whiskers, in a cream-colored coat, a beige trunk in one hand.

'Certainly,' Blaise said. 'I'm a lecturer there.'

'Indeed?' the stranger said. 'I'm invited to lecture there too. Professor Artemis Yeandle, at your service.'

'Blaise Zabini, Master in Farriery,' Blaise said.

'Blaise Zabini from Hogwarts?' Professor Yeandle asked.

'Artemis Yeandle from the Windorah School?' Blaise said. Artemis Yeandle was a world-famous herbologist from the oldest Australian school.

'Yes,' Professor Yeandle said. 'Very glad to meet you, Professor Zabini.'

'Blaise,' Blaise said hastily.

'Artemis,' Professor Yeandle said.

'Yeaow?' Macavity said. Artemis looked at the cat and said:

'Macavity, right? Fine fellow.'

'Yaaow!' Macavity said and rubbed himself against Artemis's legs and held up his head for Artemis to stroke, which Artemis did. Blaise said in surprise:

'Macavity likes you greatly, Artemis. Affectionate though he is, he doesn't hold up his head to every stranger.'

'Indeed?' Artemis said.

The two Professors walked along the alleys of the Backs to the Clare's magnificent bridge with thirteen stone balls on the parapets, and across the bridge by the Clare College to the Old Schools on the grassy bank. At the southwest corner of the Old Schools stood a splendid Gothic quadrangle with arched windows, battlements and pinnacles, the building that was visible only to wizards, the people without magical ability simply not noticing it and suddenly remembering of some very important business elsewhere, if they were heading to the site of the Glomery Hall.

The two wizards and the tom cat reached Glomery's gatehouse, facing the river - tall, with pointed archway, two octahedral towers flanking it, battlements on top of the towers and the gatehouse itself, four wide arched windows between the towers and below the windows Glomery's coat of arms in relief - a book with a wand superimposed, on a green shield, two unicorns holding the shield and a pointed hat instead of a helmet. Through the archway they entered a square court with smooth grass, two paved walks crossing in the middle and old pyramidal juniper trees along the walls of the old Gothic college.

'I like this place,' Artemis said.

'Yes, it's nice,' Blaise said. 'Dear old Cambridge, dear old Glomery. Thank Merlin, it's as it was years and years ago.'

'I think I shall look at the neighborhood in my spare time,' Artemis said. 'In Cambridge there are so many places to see!'

'Yes,' Blaise said. 'I'll show them to you, if you will, as I know the town like the back of my hand. And you can tell me of Windorah. I've never been there too.'

'Agreed,' Artemis said.

'You know, I've always admired your scholarship, Artemis,' Blaise said.

'Same here,' Artemis said.

'Your book, The Rare Herbs of Australia, is very good, Artemis,' Blaise said. 'It helped me very much in my work.'

'Glad to hear my humble efforts were of some use to you, Blaise,' Artemis said. 'I greatly like your book The Kneazle's Mind: Understanding Your Kneazle's Behavior.'

'Oh, thank you, Artemis,' Blaise said.

'I knew Macavity at once, as you describe him so neatly in your book, Blaise,' Artemis said. 'A charming cat.'

'Yes, he is,' Blaise said. 'He's a true Kneazle in every aspect.'

'Yaaow!' Macavity said.

'You are, Macavity.' Blaise smiled. 'No questions about that.'

'You write he has an especially strong ability to detect suspicious persons, even for a Kneazle,' Artemis said. 'Even that he can foresee crime.'

'Yes,' Blaise said. 'There were many occurrences in England and in Scotland and on the Isle of Man, too.'

'Very interesting,' Artemis said

'Yes,' Blaise said. 'It all started in the Tappit Hen Inn, in Aberdeen, with a brooch and a harmless alchemist being suspected of theft. He was behaving very strangely, you see, very nervous he was. As it turned out, the real culprit was a brazenly confident man, and the first fellow was nervous about a paper he sent to the Society of Alchemy. As it turned out, he made a discovery. You should have heard of him - Trevor Entwhistle. Now he is my close friend.'

'Trevor Entwhistle!' Artemis exclaimed. 'The new transmutation of the Red Dragon, of course I have heard of him!'

'Pleased to hear this,' Blaise said. 'Of course, I didn't expect otherwise, Artemis, from such a scholar as you are.'

'Thank you,' Artemis said, blushing.

Meanwhile the two Professors and the Kneazle crossed the quad, treading upon the smooth grass, as is the dons' privilege, and reached the Master's lodge. Blaise mounted the doorsteps and rang a bell on the old oak door, while Macavity was fawning to Artemis.

'Yes?' a deep male voice asked.

'Bernard, here is Artemis Yeandle from Windorah,' Blaise said. 'He's just arrived, asked me the way.'

'Wait a minute!' the voice said, and the door opened. An old, reedy man of scholarly appearance, in blue robes, stood in the doorway.

'Came in, please!' the man said. 'Bernard Frith, the Master of Glomery. Glad to meet you, dear Professor Yeandle.'

'So am I, Professor Frith,' Artemis said.

Artemis, Blaise and Macavity came in. Professor Yeandle led them to his oak-paneled parlor, asked them to sit down on his red plush sofa, brought them some tea and spoke with Artemis about his position.

'Now, Blaise, show Artemis his lodgings,' Professor Frith said. 'I hope you are pleased with your quarters, Artemis.'

'I am sure I will be, Professor Frith,' Artemis said.

'Now, let's go, Artemis?' Blaise said.

'Certainly,' Artemis said.

Blaise and Artemis bade goodnight to Professor Frith, and Blaise led Artemis across the quad and under another arch into a smaller quad to one of the doors looking into the quad.

'Here is your apartment, Artemis,' Blaise said. 'Be at home.'

'Thank you, Blaise,' Artemis said. 'See you in the morning. I am looking forward to seeing the whole Glomery Hall, and I am very desirous to see the treasure of Glomery Hall, Culpeper's Complete Herbal of eighteenth century. It is a rare book, and one in my field. I was thinking all the way to Glomery how I shall see it at last.'

'You will, Artemis,' Blaise said. 'And you won't be disappointed. It's a splendid book, and Glomery is a great place. You shall see it soon. Good night, Artemis.'

'Good night, Blaise.' Artemis smiled and closed the door. Blaise, also smiling, walked away, to his own lodging in another, greater quad. Macavity followed Blaise. Blaise returned to his rooms and remembered he needed to look something up. He put his coat on a coat on a coat hanger in the hall and went to his parlor where the shelves with his books were. He found the book that he wanted, Dragons of Britain, and went to the parlor window to read it. Some time later he saw a man climbing the wall of Glomery Hall. Another night-climber, Blaise thought. Cambridge students, who stayed in the town after midnight and closing of the college gates, resorted to wall climbing into their rooms. Blaise looked at the climber. Blaise knew his face, of course. It was Julius Barnwell, a notorious daredevil. Blaise opened the window and called out:

'Mr. Barnwell!'

'Whassamatter?' Barnwell said.

In his cups, Blaise thought. No surprise there. Blaise said:

'What are you doing?'

'Shtealin' the Cul-p-pepper'sh Comp-p-plete Her-b-bal,' Barnwell said. Blaise answered:

'Go to bed, Mr. Barnwell.'

The student climbed into his bedroom window, and Blaise turned to his book again. Youth, he thought. He himself climbed to his room when he was a student, and he didn't tax Barnwell too hard. Blaise resumed his reading, and then went to his bedroom, undressed and fell asleep in his old four-poster with crimson curtains, Macavity curled up atop him.

The next morning Blaise came down to the hall for breakfast. The great hall of Glomery was impressive - high with hammer-beam ceiling, windows with tracery, several large fireplaces in one of the long walls, oak paneling and two long wooden tables - one smaller, for the staff, on the dais, and other larger, for the students. Blaise seated himself at the High table, with Professor Frith, Artemis, the stout, alert-eyed middle-aged Professor Gregory Kestrel, the Dean, and other teachers - Lewis Charles, Arithmancy, Hyacinth Gallipot, Potions, Myrrhis Arthur-Swain, Astronomy, Bertram Dell, Muggle Studies, Arnold Ogham, Runes, Eoghain Murphy, History of Magic, Guinevere Tin, Divinations.

'Good morning,' Blaise said. 'Good morning, Bernard, Gregory, Lewis, Hyacinth, Myrrhis, Bertram, Arnold, Eoghain, Guinevere. Good morning, Artemis.'

'Good morning, Blaise,' Artemis smiled cordially. Rich food appeared on the tables.

'What a magnificent hall!' Artemis said. 'I like it. And your building is grand. The whole place, in fact.'

'Thank you, Artemis,' Professor Frith said. 'Cambridge is a great town, and Glomery Hall is one of the gems of Cambridge. Ancient building and we have a very good library.'

'Yes, the library,' Artemis said eagerly. 'I've heard so much of that Culpeper's Complete Herbal you have here. I'll see it without fail.'

'It's worth seeing,' Blaise said. 'Leather-bound, splendid illustrations, contemporary edition, worth looking forward to seeing it.'

'Yes,' Artemis said. 'Any herbologist would be thrilled to see it. I can hardly believe I may see it now.'

'Naturally,' Professor Frith said.

'I trust this treasure is well-guarded?' Artemis asked.

'It has a thief line around it,' the Dean said.

'Look at Julius Barnwell there!' Eoghain Murphy said to his colleagues. 'I bet he was having a great time in the Black Bull last evening.'

'Night, more likely,' Blaise said. 'I saw him climbing in.'

'Yes, he lives big,' Eoghain said.

Blaise nodded. Barnwell was definitely not looking his best.

'A local flaneur?' Artemis asked.

'For sure,' Blaise said.

The Glomery teachers continued their breakfast. Then they returned to their lectures. Artemis taught his six classes, and then Professor Frith, Professor Kestrel and Blaise went to show Artemis the college. Artemis admired the large Gothic chapel with tracery, high broad windows of lovely stained glass and exquisite pinnacles, the three quads and the grounds. But when they wanted to visit the library, it was past their bedtime, and they went to their rooms.

'Hopefully, I'll see it tomorrow,' Artemis said, parting. Blaise smiled:

'Sure, Artemis, you will.'

And Blaise went to his rooms.

In the morning the company gathered in the great hall again. Barnwell was looking fine this time. Eoghain Murphy said:

'Aha, fresh today, for a change!'

'At least, he wasn't climbing that night,' Blaise said.

'Mr. Barnwell is the talk of the town, I see,' Artemis said.

'You can say so,' Blaise said. 'Daredevil and very bright to that.'

After the breakfast and the lectures, they went to see the library, Artemis and all the local teachers. Artemis admired the medieval illuminated manuscripts, incunabula and rare books - treatises on all branches of magic and other areas of knowledge, and fiction. The British professors guided him. Eventually they reached the place where Culpeper's Complete Herbal was. That is, where it was once, because now it clearly wasn't there.

'What!' Professor Frith said. The teachers were confused. The librarian said:

'But it was here just now!'

'Well, right now it clearly isn't,' Professor Kestrel said. 'And we know who was taking a great interest in it, and if it was guarded well. A powerful wizard could cross the thief line.'

'Are you saying I did it, Dean?' Artemis shouted.

'Yes,' Professor Kestrel said. 'Your behavior was very suspicious, and it still is.'

'Suspicious!' Artemis exclaimed. 'What the hang! Why should Artemis Yeandle steal a book!?'

'Because it is precious, especially to you, as you said yesterday,' Professor Kestrel said. 'You could put a Confundus Charm on the place, to have everyone think it was still here.'

'Yes, I must tell Gregory is right,' Profesor Frith said.

Macavity, who was following Blaise all this time, looked Professor Kestrel straight in the eyes, gave a loud yaow and jumped to the shelf where the Herbal formerly was.

'Macavity!' the librarian said.

'Wait a minute,' Blaise said. 'What's this?'

He went to the shelves and picked a little thing - a black thread. Blaise held it up.

'See this? It's from someone's robes. They are black, as students wear. Now let's see if there is an imprint of magic on it.'

Blaise took his wand out of his pocket, pointed it at the thread and said: 'Detego magiam!'

The thread glowed with red light.

'Remember that Julius Barnwell climbed in the day before yesterday?' Blaise said. 'He overstepped the limits. We are lucky if the book isn't in Knockturn Alley yet.'

'We need to search Mr. Barnwell's rooms,' Professor Frith said. 'He's in the town, as always.'

The teachers went to Julius Barnwell's rooms in the great quad. They searched the rooms, and in Barnwell's bedroom, in his chest of drawers, under the linen, they found a Shrunken book. Blaise took the book out, put it on the chest of drawers, pointed his wand at it and said, 'Engorgio!' The book increased in size. Professor Frith opened it with trembling fingers. The Gothic type, the magnificent color pictures of herbs, the gold edges - that was it.

'It's awesome,' Artemis said.

'Professor Yeandle,' the Dean stuttered. 'I beg your pardon for suspecting you of such a nefarious deed!'

'Don't mention it, dear Gregory,' Artemis smiled. 'We all make mistakes.'

'Thank you, Artemis,' Professor Kestrel said fervently.

'Now, I'll call the Aurors,' Professor Frith said. 'What a pity! He seemed a good, harmless lad.'

'Yes,' Blaise said quietly. 'I thought so too.'

Professor Frith went to Floo the Aurors, and Blaise returned the ancient herbal to its place. The other teachers went with him. Artemis looked as Blaise returned the book to its place, and said:

'I am certainly overjoyed to see the book, but how could anyone think I want it for myself!? Me, Artemis Florence Yeandle, the Head of the Weilmoringle House of the Windorah School of Magic Arts!? I was most offended, I can tell you.'

'But you didn't bear him a grudge, Artemis,' Blaise smiled.

'Well, after he apologized so politely,' Artemis said.

'Gregory isn't bad, he's just too vigilant,' Blaise said. 'A good thing in itself, only he barked up the wrong tree.'

'Wrong tree is right,' Artemis laughed. 'Me, imagine this!'

'I never believed it was you, not for a second, Artemis,' Blaise said. 'You are not a man like that, and besides...'

'What?' Artemis asked.

'Macavity likes you very much,' Blaise smiled. 'We all make mistakes, as you said, except Macavity.'

'Yarroaow,' Macavity said demurely.