Weathered

Weathered

Chapter One: The Title Track

I lie awake on a long, dark night

I can't seem to tame my mind

Slings and arrows are killing me inside

Maybe I can't escape the life that's mine

No I can't escape the life that's mine

1981

"If you must take Harry to the Dursleys...Take my bike, Hagrid," said Sirius in a strangled voice as Harry's tiny hand clutched his finger. Tears spilled down his cheeks. His eyes wandered to the spot where Harry's forehead bled from his new scar.

"You alrigh', Sirius?" asked Hagrid putting his free hand on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius shook his head. "Anything I can do?"

"Short of bringing back Lily and James back, no."

"I hope You-Know-Who is suffering right now," Hagrid growled. Sirius nodded in agreement. There was an awkward pause. "Well, got ter go meet Dumbledore." Hagrid climbed on Sirius' motorcycle and sped off.

Sirius watched the sky for several minutes after he disappeared. He turned and stared at the ruins of the house. He spotted James' hand sticking out from some of the rubble and rushed to his friend's side and tore the ruins off of Prongs' body. Sirius cradled James' head in his hands. The head felt heavy and...dead. James' eyes were wide open and his glasses were cracked.

"Bet you met Voldemort head on, Prongs. Lily too. Bet neither of you so much as flinched. You saved a lot of lives tonight, most of them were probably the cowardly bastards who refused to say what side they were on." Sirius looked up at the waning moon. "I'm so sorry, Moony. I should've known you'd never betray any of us. The way Wormtail kept trying to get us to stop talking should have tipped me off. I was just too stupid, Moony, too stupid. I should've learned from that damn Whomping Willow thing. That time Snape almost died. When I think of what would've happened to you if...well something did happen to Lily and James this time and it's because I was too stupid to see the truth."

Sirius looked over and saw Lily's red hair amongst the rubble. He hoisted James up by the armpits and began to drag him over to Lily. Sirius' stomach lurched as he helplessly watched James' head loll about. He laid him next to Lily.

This isn't how things were supposed to be. You two were supposed to be around to watch Harry grow up. Harry was supposed to be loved, but instead he's going to live with the lousiest excuses for human beings next to the Death Eaters.

Sirius fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. He had taken a vow to protect his godson, but instead had delivered his parents to Lord Voldemort. I'll kill you, Wormtail!

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Annie stumbled into her flat, the images of the last few hours spinning in her head: the street destroyed; twelve dead Muggles; Peter's finger; Sirius, the man who had been her good friend for as long as she could remember, laughing like a madman as the hit wizards dragged him away; and Lily and James' bodies lying in the morgue. Annie collapsed onto the floor and sobbed as her hands covered her face. It was bad enough hearing that Lily and James were dead and that Harry would have to live with Petunia; but to learn that Sirius was Voldemort's spy was unbearable. Annie began to doubt everything she'd ever known.

"Fuck you, Sirius! FUCK YOU!"

"Annie?" Annie looked up to face her fiancé, Remus Lupin. He looked at her thoughtfully for a few moments. Annie could tell he'd been sleeping restlessly. Remus had been beside himself with grief since he'd heard the news that Lily and James were dead. Annie stood up, walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and sobbed into his shoulder. How was she going to tell him about Sirius? He would find out eventually, whether she told him or not. "I want them back too," Remus whispered in a strangled voice.

"They won't stop celebrating in the streets," said Annie. "None of them did a damn thing to help in the fight against Voldemort, and now they're the ones benefiting."

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Severus Snape stood over the graves of his friends Rosier and Wilkes. No matter how he looked at things, he had betrayed them. Why? He asked himself. Why did I switch sides? Why did I lie to my friends? He looked down at his copy of The Daily Prophet and the headline that read Sirius Black: Spy for You-Know-Who. His fists clenched at his sides as he remembered the night Black had told him about the entrance under the Whomping Willow. That was the night he had become indebted to JamesPotter.

I'm not a murderer like you, Black, like Voldemort. Ironic isn't it; that we both switched sides.

Severus couldn't feel happy that Potter had died because of his foolish trust in Black. He despised James Potter, certainly, but never wanted him dead. Now Severus Snape was in the debt of a dead man.

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Abby Prewett woke up in her dorm room Christmas morning to see a pile of parcels at the foot of her bed. She glared at them defiantly for a few minutes. She was the only Gryffindor who had stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas. Everyone else had parents or other family to go home to. Voldemort had murdered her parents. She needed to experience her grief fully without anyone trying to cheer her up. Abby had received a hand full of invitations for the holidays. Her new friend Charlie Weasley had invited her to stay with his family. Abby saw that there was a package from Mrs. Weasley among her pile of parcels. Arabella Figg had also extended an invitation. Her daughter Lucy had been Abby's best friend for as long as she could remember. Veronica McKinnon-Prewett had been best friends with Arabella since they were children. Abby knew that both Arabella and Lucy were grieving as well. Death Eaters had murdered Arabella's husband, Teddy, and his father earlier that year.

Christmas day, Abby merely wanted to be alone in her misery. She glared at her parcels again, part of her wanted to throw them across the room. The other part of her held back. She knew that the people who had sent them meant well.

Abby wrapped her arms around herself and curled into a ball. Tears poured down her face. There was a knock at the door. Professor McGonagall entered. "Abby?" Abby opened her mouth to reply, but couldn't make the words come out. The Head of her house walked up to her bed. Professor McGonagall carried a covered dish and a jug of pumpkin juice. "I thought you could use something to eat." The smell of sausages drifted under Abby's nose. Normally, it would have made her very hungry, but at that moment, the thought of eating gave her the urge to vomit.

"I'm not hungry," she managed to say. Professor McGonagall looked at Abby, eyes full of concern and pity.

"We're all very worried about you."

"I just want to be alone right now. Can't everyone just leave me alone!"

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Harry listened to the strange people opening their presents and laughing. He wanted his mummy and daddy. He wanted to see Moony and Pafoo. Where were they? He didn't like this place. He didn't like these people. They hurt him. They yelled at him. Dudley hit him.

"Mummy, Daddy," Harry sniffled. "Moony, Pafoo. Mummy." Harry started to remember her screaming. "Mummy." He saw a flash of green light. "MUMMY!" Harry screamed. There was a loud bang as the door flew open. The purple-faced man towered over him, fist raised.

"You'll keep quiet if you know what's good for you, Boy!"

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Simple living is my desperate cry

Been trading love with indifference and it suits me just fine

1993-1994

"Sorry, Hagrid, we don't have a choice," Sirius heard the voice of Minister Fudge echo down the Azkaban corridor.

"I didn' do nothin', Minister. Please don' leave me in here."

Hagrid? thought Sirius. They can't possibly be putting Hagrid in this place.

Sirius could hear Hagrid's pathetic wails for what felt like several hours. Hagrid was in the next cell.

"Hagrid," Sirius hissed when the crying subsided.

"Black," Hagrid growled. "I was hopin' yeh'd be dead by now. Are the dementors leaving yeh alone as a favour to You-Know-Who?"

"Hagrid, I never worked for Voldemort. You have to believe me. I would never betray Lily and James...and Harry."

"Harry, yeh failed there. He's alive an' well. Already saved the school from You-Know-Who once. I should've known something was wrong when yeh gave me yer bike. Didn' want ter be traced after yeh'd shown yerself as a traitor, did yeh?"

"Hagrid, please listen-"

"I'm gonna snap yer neck in two like I should've done the night Lily an' James died," Hagrid roared as his arm shot through the opening in the wall. Sirius scrambled out of the way. Hagrid continued to claw for him for several minutes and finally gave up. "Harry'll get me outta here," he said through his panting. "He'll find out the truth." Sirius could have sworn he heard a not of happiness in Hagrid's voice when he mentioned Harry's name. Apparently the dementors sensed it as well because at that moment, they swarmed the cell.

I try to hold on but I'm calloused to the bone

Maybe that's why I feel alone

Maybe that's why I feel so alone.

"No, no please, Tom!" Ginny sobbed. She tried to pull away from the paint, but an invisible force kept pulling her toward it.

"It'll all be over soon, Ginny," said Tom with a gentleness that sent a chill down Ginny's spine. "If Harry Potter is anything like I think he is, he'll come for you. Then you will be with him in the Chamber forever. Doesn't that sound nice, Ginny?"

Ginny sobbed even harder as she wrote her farewell on the wall. "Her Skeleton Will Lie in the Chamber Forever."

Me...I'm rusted and weathered

Barely holding together

I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal

"No! Not Harry! I'll do anything!" Lily's voice echoed in Harry's head throughout the night. He curled into a fetal position. He felt the hatred coursing through his veins. This was far beyond any disdain he felt for the Dursleys. Sirius Black had betrayed his parents to Voldemort. He had cheated Harry out of the happy childhood he could have had. Harry had to find Black. Ron and Hermione would try to talk him out of it, of course. He had to make them understand. What would they have done in his shoes? He heard Scabbers squealing in Ron's bed. How long had he been asleep?

The sun shines and I can't escape the light

I think I'm holding on to life too tight

"Pity the full moon had to come of Christmas Day this year," said Annie as she pushed Remus' hair off his forehead.

"I'll live," said Remus smiling weakly. "The pity of the situation is that I have to depend on Severus Snape to make my potion."

"Is he still convinced you've been helping Sirius?" Remus nodded.

"He seems to forget that Lily, James, and Peter were my friends too." Annie sniffled and began to absently smooth Remus' blankets.

"He doesn't want to remember something that would make him doubt his theories about you." Annie sighed and stared at the snow falling outside.

"What's wrong, Annie?"

"I'm just still having trouble believing that Sirius betrayed everyone. I don't know, everything happened so fast. I didn't even get to talk to him before Crouch had him sent to Azkaban. If there been a trial..."

"We could have a least found out why he did it," Remus finished for her. There was a knock at the door. "Come in," Remus called. Severus Snape walked in carrying a smoking goblet.

"Spinnet," he said acknowledging Annie, not at all surprised to see her there.

"Severus," Annie answered.

"Here's your potion, Lupin. You ought to drink it straight away," said Severus.

"Thank you, Severus." Severus' eyes moved from Remus to Annie. He eyed her thoughtfully for a moment.

"May I have a word Spinnet?" Annie's brow furrowed.

"Alright," she said standing up. Severus backed out of the room, eyeing Remus suspiciously. Annie followed him. "What do you want, Severus?" she asked when they were out in the hall.

"To warn you," he said.

"About what?"

"About your lover, what else?" Severus spat.

"Excuse me, Remus and I haven't been--lovers for years. And why do you think you need to warn me about him?"

"Quit being so stupid, Spinnet. It'll end up getting you killed if you aren't careful, just like it got your friend Evans killed. Do you really believe the werewolf hasn't been helping Black?"

"Of course Remus hasn't been helping Sirius!" Annie shouted angrily. "If he saw Sirius again, he'd probably try to break his neck. Remus is here to help protect Harry."

"A werewolf here to protect Potter? Do you have any idea how absurd that sounds, Spinnet?"

"No more absurd than dementors being here to protect everyone. That was a brilliant move on Fudge's part. Even if Sirius is as dangerous as everyone is convinced he is, I'd rather Harry or my niece run into him than a dementor."

Severus' eyes narrowed. "Just be careful, Spinnet," he said.

"Why are you so concerned about me?" asked Annie suspiciously, her eyes narrowing.

"I don't like you, Spinnet. I never have and I don't pretend to. I just don't want to see anyone else dead because of Black," he said. With that, Severus turned on his heels and headed down the hall with his robes billowing behind him.

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"Faked his own death again, did he?" asked Sirius as he stroked Crookshanks' fluffy head. "He's got to still be around here. He can't get very far in his rat form, and he can't risk turning back into a human. We've got to find him before he tries to hurt Harry."

Sirius slumped against the wall and buried his face in his hands. What if he failed again? What if Wormtail managed to kill Harry as he had killed Lily and James?

"I won't fail you again, James. I can't, I just can't. But I just don't know what to do anymore."

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust

Sometimes I feel like giving up

Sometimes I feel like giving up

Wormtail, Sirius thought as he caught the scent of his old friend. He saw a red haired boy appear out of thin air and run after a rat. Sirius saw Crookshanks run after the rat as well, but the boy threw him off. Suddenly two more people appeared out of thin air. Sirius couldn't tell for sure in the dark, but he could have sworn that one of them was Harry.

The day reminds me of you

The night hides your truth

The earth is a voice

Speaking to you

Got him, Sirius thought at he dragged the boy through the tunnel. For some reason, he was not struggling as much since they had gone through the entrance of the willow. Sirius finally reached the shack. He let go of the boy and transformed back into his human form. The boy let out a strangled cry as he clutched his leg.

Shit! Sirius thought. He broke his leg. No wonder he wasn't struggling as much.

"I'm not going to hurt you," said Sirius taking a step toward the boy. "We need to get you on the bed to elevate your leg."

"Get away from me," said the boy. Sirius stopped in his tracks. He suddenly heard footsteps echoing in the hall. Crookshanks darted into the room and leapt onto the bed. The red haired boy tried to pull himself away from the ginger cat. Sirius backed into the corner as the footsteps grew louder. Harry burst into the room with a brown-haired girl. They frantically asked the boy, Ron, if he was alright. They asked where the dog was.

"Harry, it's a trap," said Ron, moaning a little.

Sirius shut the door. Now Harry was there and could learn the truth.

Take all this pride

And leave it behind

Because one day it ends

One day we die

"Going to kill me, Harry?" Sirius asked as he looked up into the fury and loathing on the face of the baby who had wrapped his tiny fist around Sirius' finger the night Lily and James died.

"You killed my parents."

"I don't deny it, but if you knew the whole story--"

"The whole story? You sold them to Voldemort, that's all I need to know."

"Harry, you've got to listen to me. You'll regret it if you don't." Sirius could handle Harry blaming him for Lily and James getting killed, but he couldn't handle Peter being allowed to kill Harry. Not if he could stop it.

Believe what you will

That is you right

But I choose to win

So I choose to fight

To fight...