Forever

Chapter Eight

I've looked at love

From both sides now

From give and take

And still somehow

It's love illusions I recall

I really don't know love at all.

Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now, Love Actually soundtrack

Hermione let the wind twirl her around and around as she danced in a beautiful garden of white roses. The silk of her white dress flowed in gentle movement with to her quiet dance as the red hues from the setting sun transformed her to appear of pinks and oranges. She felt free as the wind sung in her ears and the warmth of the sun filled her soul with peace.

After her dancing slowed to a stop, Hermione closed her eyes as she felt at peace in the world. Two firm arms circled her waist as she leaned back against her dream-lover. This was how many dreams went of just being in the mysterious man's arm and the feeling of happiness. He kissed her shoulder just where the thin strap came to tie at the top of shoulder blade and he whispered, "I have and will always love you, Hermione."

Just as she was about to turn to see if maybe this time she would see his face, a cloaked figure in a navy blue appeared about ten feet in front of her. The arms around her released her as she took a tentative step to the hooded figure that was facing away from her. The voice from behind her spoke, "Go to him and I will be here for you when you are ready."

With each step toward the unknown arrival, her stomach twisted into knots and her nerves began to shake. Hermione stopped about a foot from the cloaked man when she asked, "Who are you?"

The man turned away from the setting sun to face her and lowered him hood as he answered, "Who'd you think it would be, 'Mione my love?"

She stood frozen in the spot as the figure of Ron took a step to her and reached for her hands to hold in his. The dream-Ron held her hands as tears formed in her brown eyes and she withdrew one of her hands to cup his cheek as if to make sure it was truly him. He nodded his head to answer her unasked question of that he was there with her. Emotions filled Hermione as she pulled him into a hug and he held her tight as he twirled her around in a circle, just as he always had since they began dating.

As he set her back down, his voice became serious as he said, "I have to go back soon. But I wanted to see you once more before you start to forget me."

"Oh, Ron I could never forget you. I love you so much," Hermione spoke as her hold on him tightened.

Her dead fiancée took a step back but still held her by the waist. Ron's green eyes smile gently as his fingertips brushed away her tears. "I know you will never, completely forget me. But your life has changed and a new love is stepping into the picture. You need to let that love in, 'Mione. I'll always be with you. Have no doubt in that. Before I go, I just want you to know I love you and I always will."

Hermione sobbed as she pulled him back against her body as he patted her back to calm her. With a soft kiss on the head, Ron whispered, "This is not good-bye. It's just till next time, 'Mione."

Hermione sat straight up in bed but immediately regretted it because her head throbbed in pain. Her hand went to brace herself as she felt the warm rays of the sun come in from the window. Tears still showed on her cheeks from the tears she cried from the dream she just woke of. Her heart hurt so much to have been with Ron again, even if only in a dream. She pulled a pillow from behind her head and cradled it in her lap as she rocked herself.

Hermione kept her eyes closed as she replayed his visit over and over again in her mind to make sure that she did not forget any of it. But she stopped moving when she felt something move next to her. The duvet was bunched up between her and ...Blaise. Hermione jumped out of the bed to put some space between sleeping and the seemingly naked Blaise Zabini. There was an ivory silk robe laid at the end of the bed as she covered her bare body up. Around the floor of the room were his pants by the end of the bed, her lace knickers hung of silver dresser knob, and her gown had been thrown over the desk chair.

Then it all came back to her and she moved her left hand in front of her face. There on her ring finger was her engagement ring and a silver band. Hermione's eyes darted back to the bed and the sleeping form of Blaise as she whispered, "Last night was the wedding. Man, my head hurts. Why? Why can't I remember it very ... wine! Bloody hell, I got piss drunk last night during the reception."

She looked around and saw a door that looked promising spot for a lavatory. With her throbbing head in her hand, she silently shuffled across the room to the closed door and thanked Merlin that it was the washroom with medicine cabinet and all. The mirror was about to make a comment about her hair when she threatened to crack it and not give a damn about the seven years bad luck.

After she found the hangover potion behind the shampoo, Hermione felt much better and sat on the edge of the large bathtub as she tried to remember everything last night. Her memories were blurry but she was able to remember the reception, the ceremony, and then she remembered Draco who had posed as Neville. But then the dream of Ron came back to her and her pain started up again. The pain in her heart was just as bad when she was told of his death a few months ago. She slumped down from the toilet to her knees as she rocked herself again.

Hermione's heart still had not healed from losing him, her fiancé, and now she was married. She had betrayed his love. How could he say that he still loved her when she was married not even four months after his death? Ron had to hate her just as much as she hated herself.

Her sobs became louder she hit the floor over and over again. He had been her boyfriend for several years and was planning their future when she had just disrespected his memory and married just as fast as she could. She could've gone into hiding as she properly mourned his death and put off the wedding till the last minute. What killed her heart the most was that she was starting to fall for Blaise. How much more could she hurt Ron by replacing him so quickly?

Hermione did not hear the door open because of how loud she was weeping but she did feel Blaise pull her body off the floor and into his arms as she continued to cry. He tried to sooth her but all she did was cry more and every once and a while mutter Ron's name. Tears came to his eyes because he felt so bad for the woman he loved with all his heart, who still was in love with her dead fiancée. Blaise knew that she had not ready to marry but he thought it was for the best. It was for the best but they just needed to take it slow.

He stood and lifted her still shaking body in his arms. Blaise carried her to their bed where they had spent the first night in 'their' room. Just as he was about to lower her, Hermione whispered, "Please not here. Take me back to my room."

His heart felt ten pounds heavier as she did not want to be in their bed and walked with her to her room just down the hall. The halls were quiet because it was still early and he knew most of his guests had stayed the night after the reception. Slowly he moved into her room and straight to her bed. Her cries had been reduced to infrequent sniffles and pulled her cover over her body. With a chaste kiss on the forehead, Blaise walked out of the room and closed the door behind him as he whispered, "Good night, my love. I'll be here when you are ready."

Blaise went back to their room and picked up the clothes off the floor as he thought about the one night he had with her. Between the two of them, he had less wine and should've stopped last night before it went as far as it did. But he had wanted it for so long and to have her responding back in ways that he has always dreamed, it was too much for him to stop it. He was paying for it now and became filled with regrets.

Just two days ago, things were looking good for the two of them as they had actually kissed when she arrived to the manor. He threw the clothes into a chair as frustration filled him with fears that he might have lost her by not stopping their lovemaking. Blaise ran his hands through his curly, disarrayed hair as he began to think of what to do next. But his stomach growled and it was obvious that a small breakfast was first on the agenda. Then it would be planning to make amends for the damage that had been done to them.

He quietly exited to the room and entered his room since that was where he was going to be sleeping for who knows how long. He had meant what he said to her about their room, which was that he would not be in there unless it was with her as husband and wife. Now with memories of her in that bed, it was too painful to even look at, let alone sleep in. Hermione's essence could still be smelled on him and he wished that he could stay that way but he knew a shower was a necessity at that point.

After a quick shower and putting some clothes on, Blaise went downstairs to start the coffee that his system was desperately craving but he smelled the air as he entered the kitchen and figured that someone had beaten him to it. At the counter, Snape and Potter stood with cups of steaming java in their hands and seemed surprised to see him. Severus was the first to speak as Blaise pour his first cup. "I must say I did not plan to see you till afternoon after the way you two were carrying-on on the dance floor last night."

Blaise smiled into his coffee as he remembered the way their bodies moved perfectly with each other but not just on the dance floor. That thought led him to think about how he found her crying earlier and he didn't want to think on that yet. So, he opted to change the subject, "How did things go with Malfoy last night?"

"He was taken to Azkaban and is to go on trial in two weeks. I'm glad Mad Eye and Remus had picked up on that it wasn't really Neville. Tonks found him knocked out in his flat; he still hasn't come around yet. But the potion Malfoy slipped him will put him out for two more days," Harry explained as he watched Zabini very carefully. The fact that he had changed the subject did not go unnoticed by either men but knew he would talk when he was ready. Harry also figured that he'd make sure Ginny went up to talk with Hermione before they left that afternoon.

"How did those two figure out that Malfoy was Longbottom polyjuiced?" Blaise asked as he took a seat at the bar and started nibbling at some grapes in the crystal fruit platter in front of them.

Severus noticed signs that something was wrong but he wasn't sure how exactly something was wrong. He had expected to see Blaise with some stupid, giddy grin the morning after spending the night with his new bride. He caught a small glimpse of it, which told him that they had consummated the marriage last night at least once, but the way the smile had quickly faded meant that something had happened since. His bets were on that Hermione was regretting last night and making him regret it as well. Snape thought to himself, 'These love problems are the exact reasons why I don't see any one. Too many hassles and headaches.'

Harry answered Blaise's question with a smile, "Well, Remus could tell that something was off about Neville and the way he acted towards Hermione. Then Moody said that he caught a glimpse of his boxers and knew that Neville was not the silver, snakes type."

That also made Blaise spit out his coffee but instead he choked on it as Severus chuckled that the statement and stated, "Yes, he is not. Of course, it is not comforting to know that he is checking that, especially when some people go without."

All three laughed at that and was hushed by Mrs. Weasley, who had just entered the room. "Keep it down, boys. It's seven in the morning and most are still sleeping. So, what are you three in the mood to eat?"

She was opening the pantry when Blaise spoke, "You don't need to cook, Mrs. Weasley. Emily will be up shortly to take care of that."

"Those poor women worked hard enough last night cleaning up the place. It is a good thing that she is not completely a squib or I wouldn't know how she could manage this place on her own," the redheaded woman rattled off as she started getting out pans and eggs.

Blaise got off his seat to help her but got an evil stare that told him to have a seat from the woman. If he learned anything from the Order, it was to not mess with Molly Weasley when she gave you that look. He took his seat as he replied, "Well, Emily has been with my family since she was eighteen when my mum and dad had first gotten married. She's like an aunt to me. I'm glad that Hermione and she seem to get along. I'd hate to have seen what would have if I had had elves instead of Emily."

"Spew would be up and running," Harry commented he got a disapproving look from the mother cook.

Molly pulled out some various items from the cabinets as she asked, "Speaking of Hermione, is she up? I can send some food back with you, Blaise dear."

Blaise got up with his cup in hand and walked to the door as he stated, "No, she went back to sleep in her.... I'm not really hungry. I think I'm heading outside for a walk."

All three pairs of eyes watched him leave the room but Mrs. Weasley went back to her cooking as she spoke, "Poor dear. I can image what happened this morning after all the wine she drank last night. But with some time and open communication, everything will be fine for those two."

Harry sipped the last of his coffee and got up to get more as he asked, "How can you be so sure?"

"Let's just say a mother's instincts. Harry, can you grab a carton of eggs?" Molly went on fixing the breakfast as more people started to rise from their beds. While the bride laid in her bed in a dreamless sleep, the groom spent an hour walking around the estate as the sun rose into the soft blue sky.