You Don't Know What It's Like

Econoline Crush own the song "You don't know what it's like."
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did you give up?

Did it get easier?

Did all those things you wanted come together in the end?

She stood on top of the tallest tower and gazed across the wide grounds and the forest. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, thick book with a dark green leather cover. She opened it up at a random page and stared at the writing that filled every page in the book.

Was I the one?

Was I even here?

Did you ever really notice how I never really cared?

Her eyes filled with tears and she shoved the book back in her pocket. As the memories came crashing back into her mind, the tears began to fall freely from her eyes. She didn't really want to wipe them away so she just stood and stared out into the darkness and remembered everything that she tried desperately to forget these past months, everything that finally ended up with her up here......

She smiled and looked at me and said

You don't know what it's like,

You don't know what it's like,

I feel like nothing at all

You don't know what it's like.

I had been walking back from Charms when it all started. I had been innocently walking down the corridor, searching thought my bag, looking for my Divination book when I bumped into someone. "Oh I'm sorry!" I said, not looking up and still looking for my book. "Yeah, you should be" sneered a voice that could only belong to one person. Draco Malfoy. "Oh great" I thought, slowly looking up at him. "Can you stop staring and move now? I don't believe I’m that fascinating." he drawled with a smug. Somehow, when I stepped back, I stepped in an empty classroom and tripped over something and I fell on my behind. Draco saw this and walked over to me with a smile of interest. But there was something in his eyes that were unnerving. I wanted to stand up and run far, far away from there but I couldn't move and I had no idea why. He turned and closed the door then turned back around to face me. He looked at me with this look in his eyes and suddenly I was scared. very scared.

Did you forget?

Did you believe in it?

Did all those things I promised come up empty in the end?

She hated doing this to herself, as she had done many times before, going over and over each and every event and she still had no idea how or why it happened. How it had happened to her, Why it had happened to her....

Any regrets?

Any dreams you miss?

Comfort comes with patience,

Serenity yeah, yeah

She sat in that room, with her knees drawn up to her chest, slowly rocking back forward, waiting, waiting for him to hurry up, waiting for it to be over.

For 2 years, for 2 fucking years, she had let it happen. Again and again, whenever he wanted it, he got it. And strangely enough, it wasn't so bad the first couple of times. But then he got confident, the bastard. And then it just got worse.

She smiled and looked at me and said,

You don't know what it's like,

You don't know what it's like,

I feel like nothing at all

You don't know what it's like.

She wandered down the halls, hugging her books and people suddenly went silent as she walked past. And she wasn't being paranoid. Everyone had notice how she had suddenly changed. She was more quiet, withdrawn not to mention pale. And with her too short, worn out robes, the bruises decorated her body was seen by everyone. No matter how many times she said she was just a bit clumsily, no one believed her. She couldn't even fool herself any more. She'd heard the rumours but they didn't last long. Everyone got bored with that idea and moved on. Stupid twits. As they moved on with their lives, she seemed to be stuck in this time loop that never ended. A nightmare that you can't wake up from.

By the time she was in her 6th year, it seemed almost routine now. It was almost normal to her by then. Almost.

Did you give up?

Did it get easier?

Every little word lingered,

Slipped and fell.....

As she looked out into the night, she didn't know how she managed to live with it. How she managed to live with herself. And why she hadn't thought of this earlier. It was so simple but yet she was so stupid not to think of it earlier. She reached down and pick up a short, thin bag from the floor and withdrew a dagger from it. It bared the Malfoy crest on it She had stolen it from his trunk, from last time, the last time he will ever cause her pain. She held it up and saw the moonlight glint off it. She ran her finger along the edge as the moonlight continued to shine off if. She slowly raised her arm and drew the knife down her arm. She gasped as her blood began flow. She was vaguely aware of the pain in her arm, but that pain was nothing compared to the past few years of her life. as the blood dropped slowly over the edge of the tower, she slowly lifted her head and gazed at the sky above.

You don't know what it's like,

You don't know what it's like,

I feel like nothing at all

You don't know what it's like,

You don't know what it's like,

You don't know what it's like,

I feel like nothing at all,

I feel like nothing at all,

I feel like nothing 'cause you don't know what it's like.