Some Days I Wish I Were in Slytherin

"Underneath your clothes,

There's an endless story."

-Shakira

Chapter 15: Underneath Your Clothes

Severus Snape awoke as the clear grey light of predawn filtered into his room. He blinked and stretched the left side of his body, but didn't dare move the right. His leg and arm on that side were pinned down by Ginny, who during the night had wrapped herself around him. Her head rested on his chest, one arm was flung over his stomach, the other wrapped around his shoulder, and her legs were wrapped around his. Her body was small but emitted fiery warmth that penetrated to his bones. He slowly shifted her arm higher around his waist. His body was painfully aware of being in such close contact with her, but it was a pleasant kind of torture, one he did not desire to end too quickly.

Last night he had put a stop to the potential for physical intimacy, and he thought she finally understood his reasons. In the cool light of morning he had no regrets. However, the unrelenting logic of his mind could control the stirrings of his heart and the potent hemorrhaging longings of his body only so long. He could not tempt fate much farther. Although he would regret returning to Hogwarts, in a way it was a reprieve. When he had taken her wrists in his hand, he had felt the soft fluttering of her pulse under his fingers and the warmth that emanated from her flushed skin, and it had taken all his control not to throw her down on the bed and explore his deepest and most desperate desires. There was little doubt in his mind that she would have reciprocated and then where would they have been? No, he was in the right.

A smile tickled the edges of his mouth as the memory of her kiss suffused his being. He knew that the trust and bittersweet longing radiating from her soft lips was something she felt for him alone, and he would not destroy that, not for anything. Unnamed hope had flooded his heart when she'd admitted she sensed the connection between them, that she sensed it and wanted it as he did. Someday, he had promised her. He would wait all eternity for her if need be, but he sent forth a little plea to the fates that it be in this lifetime, sometime before he died.

Ginny stirred and burrowed further into his arms. The first rosy, tentative fingers of sunlight were casting streaks of red and gold on her eye lashes. He softly touched her closed lids, the bridge of her nose, the soft curves of her lower lip and neck, until he rested his fingers in the hollow of her throat. That she cared for him was extraordinary, that she could overlook all the evil dark shadows of his past and find something endearing he couldn't pretend to fully understand, but what was even more astonishing was how he felt for her. He loved her, he knew that now. It frightened him more than he could bear to even think those words. Love had always meant weakness, and he had scorned ever feeling it, yet what he had with her was bigger than either of them. He was meant to love her as the sun was meant to rise; it was inevitable. The thought caused a little sneer to his lips, but the emotion was too pure for self mockery.

He ran his hand down her arm and gently caressed the delicate bones of her wrist. She was so young, barely formed. There were no wrinkles in her skin and much could yet change. If she was meant to be his it would happen; he couldn't hope for it, there had been too few things of beauty in his life to let himself think it would come easily. If he never had any more, he had her kiss and the memories of her smile. They were lanterns in the darkness of his soul.

The sound of laughter echoed in the courtyard, and Ginny moved a little. She opened her eyes, and the look she gave him made his breath tighten. It was gone in an instant as she buried her face in his chest.

"Too early," she muttered. "Can't we have a bit of a lie in?" She reached down and pulled the blanket more snugly around them, then put her arm back around him, her hand slipping under the hem of his night shirt and coming to rest on the bare flesh of his abdomen. Her touch was like liquid fire. He felt his heart pounding in his chest, but a painful twinge told him this was not a good idea.

He tried to untangle himself from her. "We have work to do this morning Miss Weasley, if you want to spend the afternoon with Malfoy."

Ginny sighed and only tightened her grasp. "All the more reason to be well rested," she said. She gave him a sweet smile, and he wanted to laugh, or maybe strangle her for being so obtuse.

"Weasley," he growled at her. "Remember our conversation from last night? If you don't let me out of this bed, neither of us may be leaving it for some time, do you get my point?" She had the grace to look embarrassed, although she was getting better at controlling her blushes.

"Yes, Professor," she said. She obediently released him and stretched luxuriously. He felt a pang of emptiness, and before he got up he reached over and pushed a strand of tousled hair out of her eyes.

"You are beautiful in the morning," he told her. A soft pink instantly colored her cheeks at the words, and her eyes shone. Before she could reply, he leapt quickly out of the bed and strode into the bathroom. The tile was freezing against his bare feet, but he took the time to look thoughtfully into the mirror.

He sneered at his reflection. "Old man," he whispered. "You have it bad."

***************************************

Ginny climbed the stairs to her room. She was overheated and perspiring after spending the morning with Snape working on fighting the Imperius curse. They'd been working on it off and on for the past week, but no matter how hard she tried, Ginny could not seem to throw it off. Snape had said that her sensitivity to the curse might be due to Riddle's influence on her, and that was all the more reason for her to learn to fight it. She reached her door and went inside, pulling her robes off over her head and throwing them on the floor as she headed for the shower. She had begun to unfasten her bra when a voice behind her made her jump. She turned around, wand in dueling position.

"Morning, Ginny," drawled Draco.

"How did you get in here?" she asked. A flush stained her neck, and she tried to ignore how his eyes lingered insolently on her barely clothed body.

"House elf let me in," he said. He got up off the bed and walked slowly over to her. "Feel free to continue your little strip tease, I was rather enjoying it." His grey eyes glittered strangely, and his lips were set in a sneer she hadn't seen from him in weeks. Instantly, she knew something was wrong.

She pushed him aside to reach the wardrobe, pulled out a shirt, and put it on hastily, keeping a tight grip on her wand.

"You're early." She kept her voice carefully neutral.

"You're late," he replied. "Where were you?"

Ginny met his eyes. They were coldly possessive. She lifted her chin and took a deep breath. "I don't think that's any of your business, Malfoy."

"Oh, it's Malfoy now. How quickly the favored become beneath you." He sneered at her and leaned in until his face was mere inches from hers. "You were with him, weren't you?" His voice was like cold, brittle ice.

She clutched her wand more tightly and didn't back down. "And if I was..."

He was on her so fast she didn't have time to think. He wrenched her wrist in one hand and grabbed the back of her head hard, his hand tangled in the roots of her hair. He twisted her arm until she cried out and dropped her wand, then pulled her to him.

"I saw you with him," he hissed, his breath hot against her ear. "I saw you kiss him." His fingers tightened and pulled her head back till she was looking in his eyes. "I saw you get into his bed."

That's impossible, she thought wildly, unless he'd been in the courtyard, watching them through the window. It was something he would do, jealous, controlling. She narrowed her eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about, Malfoy. There is nothing going on between Snape and me."

"Don't lie to me!" Draco roared. "I saw you." His grip tightened around her wrist, keeping her pinned against him. "I've been waiting for you here all night. How many times were you with that perverted old bastard? Three? Four? Is that why you wanted to wait? So you could give yourself to him?" His grip tightened, and she struggled against him, but his rage seemed to have given him strength. They wrestled for a moment, and then he dragged her over to the bed and held her down, her arms above her head, his body heavy over hers.

Rage poured hot through Ginny's veins. "Get off me Malfoy," she snarled. "You don't know who you're messing with."

"Neither do you," he said. His face was that of his father.

The thought strengthened her will. In one swift movement, she brought her head up and smashed her forehead into his nose with a dull crack. Draco howled and released her to clutch his face in his hands. She scrambled off the bed and reached for her wand. Her fingers grasped the smooth wood firmly, and she brought it around just as he came at her. He brought back his fist as she shouted "Stupefy!"

Draco's expression quickly turned from anger to shock, and he hit the floor with a thud. Ginny sank into a chair and tried to steady her shaking hands. He was mad. Stark raving mad. She didn't know how she could deal with this, let alone continue this farce with him.

Yes you do, she told herself. You'll do it because you must. It's what has to be done. You told Snape you could do what was necessary, now prove it.

She straightened up and, with a determined expression, levitated Draco's body to the bed. Unceremoniously, she stripped off his clothes and healed the bloody mess that was his nose. A wave of her wand made the remains of what looked like a dinner and empty wine bottles appear on the table. She crossed back over to the bed and held her wand to Draco's temple. "Obliviate!" A second muttered spell, and she inserted some modified confused memories of a drunken evening. She stripped off the rest of her clothes and crawled into the bed next to him. She arranged herself, cast the enervate spell, tossed her wand onto the nightstand, and feigned sleep as he began to wake.

A warm hand slid around her waist, and she heard Draco's confused voice. "Ginny?"

He started to shake her and then pulled his hand away. "Ginny? Are you awake?"

"Mmmm. Tired. Sleep now Draco," she muttered, keeping her eyes closed and pulling a pillow over her head.

"Ginny. Wake up." Draco snatched the pillow off and tossed it aside. "What happened? At least, I think I know what happened, but ..." Ginny sat up in the bed, letting the sheets fall down around her. His eyes went immediately to her chest and widened with horror.

"You're naked." He looked under the blanket. "So am I."

"Master of the obvious, aren't you Draco?" she drawled, trying to appear amused. "Settle down, nothing happened. Nothing much anyway, don't you remember?"

"Partially." He looked abashed and surveyed the room. "I remember wine. And you and I ... Did we?"

"Almost," Ginny said. "You fell asleep before it went that far." It wasn't exactly a lie. She had no doubt what would have happened if she hadn't stunned him.

"Oh." He looked relieved yet disappointed at the same time. "That's good." He seemed to regain some of his confidence and turned back to her. "I mean, I'd want to remember it." His grey eyes gleamed and he put his hand up to touch her lips. It took all her control not to flinch. He must have sensed something in her eyes, because he pulled back with a puzzled look.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Just nervous," she lied.

He pulled away from her, his hands trailing up and down her arms, his expression serious. "I would do anything for you, Ginny. Give you the world. You are so beautiful, and loving and inexplicably wonderful." He leaned in and kissed her. His lips were warm and trusting. The harsh contrast to his earlier behavior left her uncertain. How could he have such strong feelings for her and have treated her that way? He would have hit her; his jealousy turned him into a monster. Her lips trembled under his and tears filled her eyes and began to run down her cheeks.

"Ginny, don't cry, Ginny, please." He gathered her into his arms and rocked her back and forth. "I've said too much. I'm sorry." His voice sounded fearful.

"No," Ginny said. "It's just, I didn't know you felt that much for me." She could do this; it would reassure him that she was his. She put her hand behind his head and kissed him fervently.

His hands ran over her, warm and eager, their touch surprisingly gentle. She could feel his body filling with nervous tension and tried to touch him, but he pulled back and shook his head. "No," his eyes looked her over, not with possessiveness but with wonder. "I want to take my time." She let him ease her down on the bed. He kissed her lips again, and then trailed kisses around her jaw. "Ginny," he whispered between kisses, "I've never ... done this with anyone before. I wanted to wait for someone special. Someone I cared about, who cared about me, not about my money or my status. I never imagined it would be you."

He brushed his lips and fingers over her exposed skin, touching her gently as if asking for permission or seeking redemption. There was a hard lump in her throat which wouldn't disappear, and the combination of that and the sensations he was causing seemed to make the world blur and fall away. He brought his lips down on hers, and with a tiny shudder she gave herself to him. The act itself was shrouded in the chaos of her mind, but she remembered his voice whispering her name over and over, the hot flood of feeling inside her, and the cold tears which trickled from the sides of her eyes and into her hair.

She closed her eyes and thought of him. He was handing her his heart, and she was nothing better than a lying whore. She knew his world would fall apart and that he would truly become his father if she betrayed him, but if she stuck by him he could grow to be a better man. He deserved that chance. If nothing else, she would give him that, try to return the love he felt for her. He could never know the truth.

*****************************************

After that morning, Draco became even more of a presence in her life. It was only the stern looks of Professor Snape that would send him sulking back to his hotel so that Ginny and he could get back to work on their "research". She told Snape that Draco had seen them together, that he had attacked her, and that she had cast a memory charm on him. He had looked at her without expression, and she had kept her own face void of emotion and her voice even. A single twitch of the muscles along his cheekbone let her know how the news affected him. However, he only turned the subject to how they would have to be more careful around Malfoy, and she had started going back to her room earlier in the evening. She couldn't bring herself to tell Snape what else had happened, and he didn't ask, but she sensed he knew somehow. She felt unclean after her night with Draco, as if she had betrayed what they had, and it was several days before she could stand to have Snape touch her. On the third night, his fingers touched the back of her hand when he handed her some parchment, and suddenly she found himself in his arms, dry eyed, seeking the comfort of his embrace. They had knelt on the floor, silent for an unknown time, but finally he had looked at her and merely nodded. She had returned the gesture, and they regained something of their former ease.

There was only a week left of their time in Beijing. Ginny's letters from home had grown a bit more nervous (her mother) and accusatory (Ron), as Ginny had been forthright in her own missives that she was seeing Draco, and that she thought he cared for her. Her training with Snape had reached a state where the professor felt they could carry on at a less intense pace during the school year, where her position as his assistant should give them the extra time they needed. He was pleased with her progress, but also with his potions research, which had gone faster with an extra pair of hands. Not that the potion was finished, of course, but he told Ginny it was only a matter of time.

One afternoon, Snape released Ginny early so she could meet Daisy Parkinson. Ginny cleaned up quickly and went down to the lobby to meet the other girl. She bounced down the last few stairs and greeted the blonde, who was waiting impatiently, the pointed toe of her shoe tapping a little pattern on the floor tiles.

"Two minutes after," Daisy said.

Ginny gave her a look. "You've been spending too much time with Erasmus; you're beginning to sound like him."

The two bickered good naturedly and headed out to the main shopping area. The day was warm, the golden sunlight illuminated the paving stones with a cheerful glow, and they browsed the shop windows as they talked.

"Snape keep you late today?" Daisy asked, stopping to stare at a pair of blue silk pajamas.

"Mmmm" Ginny murmured, noncommittally.

Daisy's eyes met hers in the reflection of the shop window. "I know what's going on, you know."

"What are you talking about?" Ginny asked. She resumed walking, her heart pounding in her chest.

"You. Snape. Your little secret's not as secure as you thought." Ginny looked at the other girl, but her expression wasn't malicious, only thoughtful.

Ginny closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. "Not now, we can't talk about this here."

"I know a place," Daisy said instantly. She took Ginny's arm, and they walked in silence for a few blocks until they reached a secluded tea shop. A deferential hostess led them to a private booth in the back. Once tea was served, Daisy drew the heavy red curtains around them, cast a silencing charm, and looked at Ginny expectantly. "Spill it Weasley."

Ginny fingered the handle of her teacup wondering how to approach this, she couldn't tell the full truth. She wasn't sure how trustworthy Daisy was, but obviously some sort of explanation was in order.

"Look," she said. "You love Erasmus, right? But he's engaged to marry that twit, what's her name... Larinda?"

"Lavinia," Daisy supplied with a grimace. "He doesn't love her though. He'd rather have me, but he can't break the marriage contract. He'd lose everything."

"Yet he's marrying her because he has to, but he can still keep seeing you."

"Of course," said Daisy. "No one talks about it, but everyone does it."

"Everyone you know, maybe," Ginny said. "My family's not like that. I'm expected to marry for love. When I'm old enough and to someone appropriate."

"Ginny," Daisy asked, her voice suspicious. "Are you in love with him? With Snape?"

Ginny could feel a wave of embarrassment break over her. "I can't say if I am or not. But if I was I couldn't be with him." She looked over at Daisy. "Do you think I'd ever get away with this if I was seeing Harry Potter? Or surrounded by Gryffindors?"

"So you're with Draco because it gives you an opportunity to be with Snape?"

Ginny didn't answer; she just let her miserable expression speak for her.

"Oh, Ginny," Daisy patted her hand awkwardly. "It'll be all right. But you have to be careful. Draco would ... and Julian."

"Julian knows," said Ginny. "He doesn't care. He just wants me to bring the Malfoy family name into a good light again."

Daisy's expression was stunned, but then she nodded shrewdly. "He would think that. Everyone knows the Weasley's are so full of honor and righteousness they choke on it. No offense," she added quickly.

"None taken," Ginny said, with a wry smile. "It's true. It's just..." she put her head in her hands and looked up through her fingers.

"You do love him." Daisy said. "It's ok, I won't tell anyone. You never told anyone about Erasmus and me. We're friends aren't we?"

Ginny felt a real smile coming to her face. It was odd that her first real female friend should be a Slytherin. Hermione and Luna were wonderful, but were too bookish and odd to really serve as confidants. What she was telling Daisy wasn't a total lie either. She took a sip of her now cold tea.

"Can I ask you something?" Daisy said. "Why Snape? I mean he's not exactly ... Plus there are rumors about. You know."

"I know," Ginny said. "He's dark and twisted and bad news with a capital B. It's just, there's something about him. I can't help myself."

"How long have you been with him?"

"It feels like forever," Ginny admitted truthfully. "It started near the end of last school year, I asked him for extra work, and this summer he arranged for me to come here. I was horrified at first, but the closer I worked with him on his projects, the more I came to like him. Then one night a few weeks ago, we were taking a break from his project and were standing out on the balcony..." Her face colored as she remembered the night she'd offered herself to him. Things could have happened that way. "I just looked at him, and the moon was shining down on us and I knew, somehow, that I wanted to be with him. I didn't think he felt the same, but then he turned to me and touched my hand."

The night stood out vividly in Ginny's memory. The ring of truth in her words brought tears to her eyes and made Daisy smile a little.

"I won't try to understand," she said. "I can see how you feel. But what about Draco?"

Ginny shook her head to clear it. "I like him. He's handsome and funny, and he cares about me. But he frightens me. He almost hit me once, when he got mad. I'm afraid he'll turn out like his father. But then I think to myself that if he can learn how to love someone maybe he'll change."

"Maybe." Daisy looked skeptical. "We'll have to make sure he doesn't find out."

"You'll help me?" Ginny raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Of course. Pansy will too, I'm sure, once you're back at school."

"Umm, Daisy, you are talking about Pansy your sister aren't you?"

Daisy laughed. "You really don't know my sister, do you? She was so happy when I wrote her that Julian has planned Draco for someone else. Now she can be with who she really wants." She raised a hand, her silver rings flashing. "I won't tell you who, I'll leave that to her. She'll like you, now she knows you're with us."

Ginny just shook her head and took a sip of her tea. She would believe that when she saw it. She was about to ask Daisy a question when they heard the sounds of people entering the tea shop. Daisy pulled the curtains more closely around them and they huddled closer to the table. They both started and looked at each other in astonishment as the first man spoke.

"Are you sure we're safe here?" he asked.

"As houses," said an unctuous-sounding man who also sounded strangely familiar. "There's no one here but us, and none of the employees speak English. You have the papers?"

"Right here. This is aboveboard? I'll get my money?"

"It's right here." There was the muffled sound of a bag of coins being tossed.

They could hear the other man shuffling through the coins. "The rest is in my account?"

"It's being deposited as we speak. Now, the papers ..." There was the rustling of papers followed by a grunt of delight. "Good work. My master will be pleased. May I contact you if I require more ... assistance?"

"If it's worth my while," said the first man. "Now I must be leaving, I don't want anyone to see me and it's a long trip back to London."

"Stay for a day or two. We're having a party on Saturday for old Malfoy's birthday."

"It wouldn't be prudent for anyone to see me. People here would recognize me and there'd be questions to answer." He coughed and continued. "May I ask what you wanted the information for?"

"You would be foolish to ask questions, Mr. Weasley." The man's voice was suddenly dangerous.

Their suspicions confirmed, Daisy and Ginny stared wide eyed at each other. "Who is he talking to?" Ginny mouthed. Daisy put her eye to a small hole in the curtain and nodded as she recognized the man.

"McNabb," she said, speaking softly despite the silencing charm which concealed them from notice. "That man's a right wanker. He's hit on me more times than I could count, and his wife's beneath notice. He only married her for her money."

They resumed listening, but the men quickly said their goodbyes and left. Ginny pulled open the curtain when the door shut and watched the familiar red haired figure of her brother receding into the distance.

Daisy laughed. "Well, that was certainly a surprise, I always thought McNabb was working for him, but none of us could ever prove it. The council will be interested in this. But, your brother ... All this time I've been working next to him, trying to get information out of him, and he goes for the highest bidder." She eyed Ginny thoughtfully. "Guess you're not the only black sheep in the family."

Ginny controlled her emotions and raised an eyebrow coolly. "I've always had my suspicions about Percy." She brushed the tablecloth of crumbs to hide her consternation. "Well, are you ready to go shopping?"

"Of course."

They paid their bill and exited the tea shop. Ginny feigned interest in Daisy's purchases, but all the while her mind was spinning. She had to tell Snape. What on earth could Percy have been giving McNabb, and what did the Dark Lord want with it? And her poor mother, her mother couldn't find out about Percy. She would have to keep a close eye on her brother from now on. If he was starting to travel in the same circles as she it shouldn't be too hard.

After what seemed like an eternity of shopping, during which Daisy bought bags full of clothes and jewelry, they finally parted ways, and Ginny was able to make her way back to the inn. In her hand she held a small package which Daisy had helped her select and had insisted was perfect. She dropped the package off in her room and headed down to Snape's chamber.

For a minute she thought he wasn't in, but then she heard the sound of a minor explosion and Snape's aggrieved voice beckoned, "Enter."

Ginny poked her head in the door. "Er, is this a bad time?"

Snape scowled and threw his hands in the air. "Come in. It's ruined already; I don't think you can do anything worse to it." He banished the burgundy-colored mess from his robes and turned to look at her.

She stifled a smile and pointed at what looked like a piece of toad liver hanging from one ear. "You missed a spot."

"Thank you," he said. He brushed at it and looked at his fingers in disgust. He went into the bathroom, turned on the water, and began to wash his face. Ginny leaned on the door frame and watched him as, with a disgusted look, he eased his robe off so he could get the bits that had gone down inside and stood clad only in his trousers.

"Foul smell, frog liver," he said. "Now what was so imperative that your knocking made me drop oil of fireweed in my cauldron?"

"I saw McNabb while I was out with Daisy. He was collecting something from a courier, something for your master."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "And your point is." Ginny handed him a towel, and he began to dry his dripping face.

"The courier was my brother." He lowered the towel and regarded her questioningly. "Percy," she clarified.

"Yet another Weasley who could have been in Slytherin," Snape sneered. "I should have known it would be him. That brother of yours has it in mind to be Minister, no mistaking."

"Why would he have turned on us?" asked Ginny.

"Obviously you still have a lot to learn, Weasley. Just because your brother is selling information it doesn't make him evil. Just ...opportunistic."

Snape turned from the sink to look at her, and for the first time she saw his Dark Mark. The mark on his flesh looked like nothing more than an unusually ugly Muggle tattoo, and Ginny's first thought was that it looked strangely benign considering what it stood for. His eyes noticed where she was looking and they gleamed strangely at her.

He curled his lip. "Like it? Want one?"

Ginny raised her eyes to his and smirked. "Are you offering?"

"It's not a joke, Weasley," he hissed. He grabbed her hand and pressed it on the mark. His skin was hot under her palm, and for a moment she felt nothing, then a dull throbbing ache, like burrowing blunted needles shot up into her hand. She forced herself to hold her hand still and didn't break their staring contest.

"I never thought it was," she said. The ache spread up into her arm, and she was reminded of how the Cruciatus curse felt. If it was this bad for her, how bad was it for him? Finally, he snatched his arm away. "Does it always hurt?" she asked.

"Since his return, yes," he replied. He looked at his arm. "It's not bad. Sometimes it gets worse."

Ginny gently took his hand and turned the pale underside of his arm towards her so she could look at the mark objectively. The skin was dark and puckered at the edges from the spell which had burned it into the skin. Her fingers traced the outline gently, ignoring the unpleasant sensation emanating from it. She looked up at him when he gave an involuntarily shudder and pulled her hand away with an apologetic look. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "No. I am. I shouldn't have made you touch it."

She tilted her head to the side a little and regarded him thoughtfully. "Don't be. It's a part of you."

"Not a part I want you to see." His eyes were strangely distant, and he pulled a clean robe down from a hook and put it on, the long black sleeves covering his arm again. He walked past her into the room and began to rummage around in the desk.

"It's too late for that." Ginny dropped down on the bed and watched him pull a roll of parchment out of a pigeonhole. He brought it over to her and handed it to her with a disgusted grimace.

Ginny untied the dark velvet ribbon and unrolled the parchment as he settled down in the low straight-backed chair next to her. It was thick creamy vellum with dark blue ink written in a loose disjointed script. She couldn't decipher the words, which appeared to be in some ancient language. She stared at it for a moment, until Snape tapped it with his wand, and the words arranged themselves into familiar phrases.

Stephen,

All is well with the family here. I spoke to your colleagues, who said they saw you and the little woman, and that they were warmly received. Delighted to hear it, old man, I knew a little time with you would be good for her. Your wife's brother will be visiting shortly with some information for our newest inductee. See that it isn't lost in transit, won't you. It could be very important for the little soiree we're planning next year. I plan on seeing you on your return. Bring the wife and we'll have dinner.

Sincerely,

Victor

Ginny stared at the letter in incredulity and then looked up at Snape. "This is the man who strikes mortal terror in the hearts of wizards? He sounds like a bloody wedding planner."

Snape snatched the letter out of her hand and incinerated it in mid air with a wave of his wand. "It's in case the letter falls into the wrong hands Weasley. What would you have him say?" He tapped his forehead thoughtfully and said in a dry voice, "Dear Severus. Your whore's brother comes bearing the means for my ultimate victory. Sincerely, The Dark Lord. P.S. To anyone who hasn't guessed, we're Death Eaters! Ask us how!"

"You made a joke." Ginny stared at him in shock and then leaned over and slapped him on the arm. "Don't do that, it's frightening. And where do you get off calling me a whore?"

"You're missing the point I'm trying to make, Weasley. What did the letter say?"

"Well," Ginny laid down on her stomach and proper herself up on her elbows looking at him thoughtfully. "He told us what we already know about Percy, and I suppose that's about it."

Snape stood up and began to pace restlessly around the room. "Did you miss his mention of you?"

"Ah yes. So I'm your wife now?" Ginny smiled a grim little smile at the discomfort that showed on his face.

He motioned irritably. "I told you, it was a code. I'm talking about the fact that he wants to meet you."

Ginny paled and felt her stomach clench inexplicably. "He what?"

"After we return to Britain," he said. "I'll try to put it off as long as I can." He stopped pacing and sat down on the bed, cupping her foot in his hand. He was silent for a long while, and she turned around to look at him, trying to ignore the gentle caress of his fingers on the arch of her foot.

"What is it?" she prodded.

"I think he wants me to ask for you as an apprentice." His voice dropped in timbre and he gave a hollow laugh. "It's quite an honor, you know. He asks very few women. Apparently we were a bit too convincing the other night."

Ginny straightened up and faced him. "What does this mean exactly?"

"It means I can't let this happen," he gave her a desperate look. "I can't do that to you. We have to stop this."

"I'm not afraid."

"Then you are a fool. It is not too late; I can tell him Dumbledore found out about us or ..."

"No," Ginny said. "I have to do this. I can do this. You know I can." She moved closer until she was directly in front of him and took both his hands in her own. His long fingers looked immense and powerful, yet hers slid in between his in a perfect fit. "I have a good teacher."

He pulled one hand away and pushed up his sleeve, exposing his mark again. "Remember this? Is this what you want for yourself? It's what you will get. Five years of service to me and you will have one of these for your very own. Why? To spy? I do not want you involved. It's bad enough that I must be. I will not have you desecrated!" The final words were almost a roar.

"I'm already involved!" Ginny shouted back. "I became involved when Lucius Malfoy put that diary in my cauldron when I was eleven years old. I became involved when Tom Riddle raped me when I was twelve." She tried to push him away. "Don't you see? I already bear his mark. What does it matter if it's made flesh?"

He put his arms around her, and she began to hit him with her fists. "Let go of me. Let go of me. I'm not what you think I am. I'm not pure, or sweet, or good. Can't you understand that?" He held her till she quieted, still and motionless in his arms, her head cradled against his chest. Suddenly she felt his fingers tangling in her hair, and he placed a shower of soft kisses on her forehead and cheeks. He put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes.

"You are to me."

Ginny took a shallow breath, her heart melting at the words. She managed a small smile, but inside she was howling, screaming. What Daisy had said was right. She loved him, and the fact that she couldn't have him was a cruel and unjust twist of fate. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. "I slept with Malfoy."

"That's not of consequence." His expression didn't change.

"I wish it had been you."

Time stopped, and for a moment there was a look of absolute joy in his eyes. It was fleeting, but she'd seen it. Suddenly she looked at him and laughed, and to her surprise he laughed as well, a soft pleasing chuckle she hadn't known he was capable of. She was shocked to find herself crawling onto his lap and leaning her head on his shoulder.

She buried her face in his neck, the soft blackness of his hair on her cheek, and murmured his name. "Severus."

His sharp intake of breath was followed by an inaudible mutter. He pulled away and looked at her intently. "Did I say you could call me that?"

She shook her head no, but gave him a mysterious smile. "I'm not just saying your name when I say that." His name seemed to hold all the things she couldn't tell him.

He seemed to understand, for he regarded her with a serious expression and touched her cheek. "Ginny," he whispered. The words seemed like a plea, a prayer upon his lips.

"You can't stop me," she told him. "This is what I am supposed to do. I feel it."

"In that case, I will do everything I can to keep you safe. And Mr. Malfoy?"

"I need a cover," she said simply.

"This may require a long time you know. Can you accept that?"

She nodded. "I do care for him. I need to have the freedom to do that."

"If you become my apprentice we will not need to pretend to be lovers any longer. They will accept you as one of us on your own merit."

"It will make things easier with Draco," said Ginny. "Does it bother you?"

Snape gave her a scathing look. "No. I'm a patient man. If you grow to love him it will happen, there is no point in petty jealousy."

"Severus," Ginny asked. "What am I to you?"

He bit his lip thoughtfully and then answered. "Salvation."