So Close, Yet So Far

"So Close, Yet So Far"

Chapter 1 The Proposal

Ron sat at the table in the dining room of number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He could feel tension in the air as Remus Lupin spoke. As much as Ron liked and respected Remus, he couldn't help but wish Dumbledore were still around. Dumbledore's death last year dealt a great blow to the Order. There were at least a million other places Ron would rather be right now than sitting here in this meeting of the Order. Remus was discussing their plans for the final battle. Ron looked over and caught Hermione's eye briefly. She had a worried expression on her face as she listened intently to Remus. Ron still couldn't believe that such a brilliant witch would have any interest in him, yet Hermione Granger had been his girlfriend for almost two years already. She was the one who did the research and found just the right potion, the Mortalis Transformis. He recalled sitting beside her in the library and the common room as she read book after book. He brought her food at times because she would be so buried in books that she would forget to eat. He also got to share in her ecstasy when she discovered this potion in one of Salazar Slytherin's old texts. This could make Voldemort mortal again.

Ron then looked over at his best mate Harry. Harry wasn't looking at Remus; instead he was staring blankly at the table in front of him. Ron thought if anyone dreaded tonight more than him, it was Harry. After all, he is the one, the only one, who can to kill Voldemort.

Ron thought of the plan that was concocted by the Order. Killing Voldemort almost seemed to be the easy part of the plan. First, they had to get the potion into his body. This was the most dangerous part of the plan, which is why Ron's stomach was tied up in knots. He had gone through it over and over again in his head trying to come up with ways to make it less dangerous and more effective. Unfortunately, he couldn't come up with anything else. Kingsley Shacklebolt was going to impersonate a Death Eater. Lucius Malfoy to be exact. Ron thought it was brilliant that the Order had collected some samples of Malfoy's hair during the short time he was imprisoned in Azkaban. Using the Polyjuice Potion, Shacklebolt was going to disguise himself as the elder Malfoy, dragging Ron along as his hostage. Ron was honored to have such an important role in this plan, yet he was so nervous he hadn't been able to eat all day. He looked over at Hermione again and stared at her soft brown eyes as she listened to Remus go over the plan again.

Will this meeting ever end? I don't think I can sit in one spot much longer.

Trying to keep his mind occupied, Ron scanned the table to see who was all there. Sitting next to Harry he saw his mum. As much as he loved and respected his mum, he recalled the first time he ever raised his voice to her. It was when he first told her about the plan and how he was going to be used as bait.

"Would you rather Hermione be used as bait? For this plan to work, it has to be someone closest to Harry. You know it has to be either Hermione or myself and there is no way in hell I will allow her to do it. I would die before I let any harm come to her."

After he spoke those words to his mother in that tone he could see the hurt look on her face; but she also gave him a look that told him she understood. If one person knew how long and how much Ron had fancied Hermione, it was his mum. Ron immediately apologized for raising his voice and gave her a hug. He knew how worried she must be.

Ron's attention was brought back to the meeting as he heard his mother's voice.

"Isn't there anything else we can try, Remus? Surely there must be some other way to do this that doesn't use my son as bait." Molly pleaded one last time.

Remus hesitated before responding. "Unfortunately Molly, this is the best plan we could come up with to get that close to Voldemort, and the time has come to put our plan into action. The potions are ready, we know where Voldemort's hideout is and this may be our only chance. Molly, you will be staying here with Ginny at headquarters. Everyone else, we will meet here at 2100 hours, so be ready."

"Molly dear, I'll be one of the first ones there, along with Remus. I will do everything within my power to make sure Ron stays safe," Arthur Weasley said, pulling his wife toward him in a tight embrace as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Ron hated seeing his mother so upset. He couldn't stand the atmosphere in this room any longer. Will this bloody meeting end already?

"That will be all. Meeting adjourned." Remus stood up and without another word, he left the room.

Ron watched as Harry quickly left the room. Harry and his sister, Ginny, had become quite close after the incident at the Ministry during their fifth year. Ron was relieved to find out that Ginny was to stay back at Grimmauld Place with their mum. Good, one less person to watch over. He was protective of his younger sister. He assumed Harry ran off to find her to spend some time with her. After all, nobody knew if Harry would make it out alive either.

"Ron" Hermione whispered, "I need some fresh air, will you come outside with me?"

"Yeah, I can't take it in here anymore," he replied. They made their way out the back door and sat on the stone bench in the garden. Ron glanced at the neglected, overgrown garden. I guess I know what I'll be doing if we stay here much longer.

"Ron, I'm really nervous about tonight. I have a bad feeling about this. Isn't there anyone else that could go instead of you?"

"You know you are the only alternative and like I told Mum, I'd die before I let any harm come to you," he said as he draped his arm around her shoulders. "Do you think I like the idea that you will be at Harry's side? What if Voldemort tries to hex Harry and hits you instead? I don't like the idea that I won't be next to you to protect you."

"Ron, you know I can take care of myself. I've become quite skilled at dueling. You should know. How many times have I sent you flying off into cushions?"

"I know, but as your boyfriend it's my job to protect you," he said, pulling her closer to him. Normally Hermione would roll her eyes at such a statement, but this time she didn't. Ron knew something was bothering her.

Ron felt very uneasy about the events that were going to take place that evening. The tension in her shoulders normally eased as he touched her, but today it had no effect. She must be as nervous as I am. In an effort to try and forget what lie ahead of him that night, he focused on trying to comfort her. He turned so that both of his hands could reach her shoulders and began to massage her shoulders and neck. She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around him. The warmth that was generated as they held each other relaxed him. I could stay here forever. He felt her body relax and knew that she felt the same.

She looked up at him and opened her mouth as if she were about to say something, then turned away.

"What is it Hermione?"

"It's just...nothing. Never mind."

"Come on, you can tell me. We've always been able to tell each other everything, now is not the time to stop." He leaned over and gave her a reassuring kiss on the top of her head.

She looked up at him with a mixture of worry and sadness in her eyes. Her voice was softer than usual as she spoke. "Ron, will you promise that...if something were to happen to me...you know...if I died or something, promise me that you won't spend the rest of your life brooding over me? Spend some time grieving of course, but promise me you'll move on with your life."

"What are you talking about? Nobody is going to die tonight!" he shot back at her, not believing a word of what just came out of his own mouth. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

She pulled away from him with a look of shock on her face. The tone of her voice changed from soft to angry. He could tell she was on edge also, and that anger was only derived from the fear they both had of what was going to happen that night.

"Be realistic Ronald. We're walking right into the Death Eaters' lair, do you think they're going to just let us walk up to them and say 'Excuse me, we're just here to kill your Dark Lord and we'll find our own way out, thanks'? You know as well as I do that there is a good chance that one of us might get killed and I really don't like what they have you doing."

"We've been over this before and I'm not having this conversation with you Hermione." The question she asked came out of nowhere and Ron didn't know how to handle it. He stood up and started walking back to the house. He couldn't bear the thought living without her.

"Ron, please don't leave. We need to talk about this. I need to talk about this. I'm scared." He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her. For the first time in seven years he heard the words 'I'm scared' come out of the mouth of Hermione Granger, and he hated that there was nothing he could do to comfort her. He immediately returned to the bench, sat down beside her and held her close. Maybe there was something he could do, something that was long overdue, to help take her mind off this morbid subject.

"I just want you to know that I love you Ron. I always have and I always will." Tears started streaming down her face as she started sobbing. "If something happens to me, move on with your life but always remember that I'll be waiting for you on the other side, wherever that may be."

Ron never could handle seeing her in tears, even though he knew he was the reason for most of them. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry I walked away."

I've really done it this time.

"'Mione, I don't want to talk about death, we've seen enough of it," he said, realizing that she wasn't going to drop the subject. "Oh all right, I promise I won't spend my life brooding. But you have to promise the same." It took all of his strength to say this. He couldn't imagine being without her, let alone giving her his blessing to see other men if something were to happen to him. "After spending a good 30 years mourning my death, I suppose you can move on to someone else," he said half-jokingly in an attempt to cheer her up. She looked up at him with her eyes still full of tears and gave him a slight smile. "I'll also promise something else. If you decide to hook up with a bloke who treats you badly in any way and is a complete git, I will come back and haunt him. If you thought Peeves was bad, just wait."

Ron stood up and started to pace nervously. Now was the time. He knew he should've done this sooner, but the right time never arrived, until now. It was the one thing that he was sure might cheer her up and get her off the subject of death. Here was his chance to hopefully transform her tears into tears of joy. He felt in his pocket for the silver band he carried with him everyday for the past year, since they finished school.

"What's wrong Ron?"

"Um, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. I...uh...just didn't have the nerve to do this until now and well, with all that's going on tonight I'd better do this now. I wanted to wait until this bloody war was over, but I don't think it can wait any longer." Here he was, stalling again. Come on just do it.

"What is it?"

"Well, I actually wanted to do this on the last day of school, but I chickened out. I figured what's the rush? We have the rest of our lives." He fumbled around in his pocket, took out the silver ring, and dropped down on one knee. "Hermione, I know I don't deserve you...you could do a lot better than me. It's not much, but it is what I could afford with the money I scrounged up. I love you Hermione Jane Granger, with all my heart. Will...y-you.... m-marry m-me?" He paused for a moment, seeing a look of shock on her face. Oh my God, she's going to say no. Idiot, you should've got her flowers or something. She must think I'm the biggest prat. Nervously, he continued, "I know it's a big step, but I thought we could start with this promise ring until I can afford to buy you a proper engagement ring. We don't have to get married right away of course, unless you want to," he said with a glimmer of hope.

"Hermione?"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hermione gasped at the sight of the beautiful ring he was offering her. It was only a silver band, but it wouldn't have mattered if it came from one of those Muggle gumball machines; just the fact that it was coming from Ron made it priceless. She couldn't believe her ears. Did he just propose? She loved everything about him. His honesty, loyalty, his passion; she couldn't imagine living life without him. She looked at him. One look in his eyes told her that he would move heaven and earth to be with her if he had to, that's how much she meant to him, how much he loved her. He already admitted, even to his own mother, that he'd be willing to die for her. He never could hide his feelings from her. His face was easier to read than any book she ever picked up.

The sound of his voice brought her back to her senses. She regained her composure and finally found her voice to answer him.

"Yes! Of course I'll marry you."

The next thing Hermione knew, he was on his feet and lifted her off the bench and into a tight embrace. He pressed his lips onto hers and kissed her deeply and passionately, as if he had a hunger for her that could never be satiated.

A/N: I'd like to thank my beta Jenorama for all of her help. I'd also like to thank Psychictwin for pre-betaing this story. Many thanks to both for giving me the confidence to submit it.