Touchstone

~Touchstone~

Chapter Seven

By Gin

Snape was trembling with effort ten minutes into the spell and was getting nowhere. His resolve was starting to weaken when the familiar tingling feeling took over him, and he faded into Hermione's mind. He just heard Poppy cry out with relief as he collapsed into his chair. Snape automatically closed his eyes against the blinding white light that always initially greeted him, but this time there was no need.

The room started out as a dull white, which would normally take on a golden hue, but this time didn't stop fading until it became uncharacteristically dark. It was actually rather hard to see in at first. He let his eyes adjust to the light, or lack thereof, and his worries increased as he looked around the room. The fire was no longer burning at the hearth, and the room was cold. The state of the room, her mind, troubled him; he knew this could not be good. He heavily walked to the center of the room and called her name.

"Hermione?" He waited for her response and stared at the door she usually came through. His fears escalated when she didn't respond so he walked towards the door and he could feel his strength slowly draining away. Halfway there it opened and he stopped mid-stride. Her head slowly peeked out and she looked pathetic. His stomach lurched at the sight of her. Her skin was sallow, her eyes hollow, and her hair was a mess.

Her pallid complexion reflected the dim light and she slowly bent in on herself unable to keep a straight posture. She was struggling for breath and leaned against the doorway, ready to collapse. Snape quickly strode over to her and gathered her up in his arms.

"Hermione..." she was dry sobbing against his chest. 'She doesn't want to give up; you have to save her Severus...' He calmly rubbed her back and rocked her back and forth. "Hermione, look at you. You don't want this," he murmured against her ear, his deep silky voice was ringing in her ears and she leaned into him.

"It's driving you mad; let me take you back. I swear you'll not regret it. Please. Come back with me," he whispered softly.

Her voice sounded small and weak as she replied, "It would be like this only worse, and I should just go." Her voice cracked and her sobs resumed. Snape readjusted her position so that she was sitting in his lap and lying against his chest, her head tucked just under his chin. He closed his eyes. Surprisingly this felt comfortable for him. He also knew they didn't have much time so he let his instincts take over.

Hermione felt safe in arms. Like she never wanted to leave them again. It was the most peculiar thought she'd ever had. And she loved the feel of him beneath her, around her, his arms enveloping her. But all this was...muffled. It was hard to explain. He was right; she was slowly going insane. And yet the promise he was making her, that everything would be all right, she had something to go back to, was so tempting. If not for her career, then for Harry. 'But the moment I go back Harry will die, and I'll have to experience the pain again.' She said as much aloud.

Snape's voice grew harsher. "You are a Gryffindor Miss Granger. Gryffindor's are famous for dealing with catastrophes. Why should you be any different?" His breath now became laboured.

Hermione couldn't explain it. It was such a deep feeling of loss that it was hard to put into words. "I should just go."

"No. You shouldn't." He wrapped his arms around her tighter. His mind was screaming at him to stop this...affection, but his heart and body was urging him on. And even still, the emotions he knew should be here were somewhat, well, muffled was the only word he could think of. Then he had a thought.

'Hermione mentioned the pain was muffled...so all feelings must be subdued here. If this feels...somewhat right now, then what would it be like in the real world?' This thought nagged and wormed its way into his mind, and he was almost looking forward to it. 'No, she's just a child. No, not a child. Just younger.' He heard Hermione whimper and he nuzzled his face into her hair. 'Severus, watch it, you're fighting a losing battle...' but with the feeling of her delicate hand lazily running over his chest, he quickly told his mind to shut up.

What he didn't know was that Hermione had also suddenly gotten this thought as well. 'Maybe...maybe this can be good. Surely he doesn't just act like this to everyone? No. He's just trying to coax me out. Well,' she thought, 'it's certainly working. And maybe he is right. Maybe I can salvage my life. Oh, but what if I can't. What if I lose more...' Hermione trembled.

Snape ran a delicate finger down her cheek and under her chin, lifting her face up to his. He peered into her eyes and held her gaze for the longest of moments. It felt as if time almost seemed to stop. His heart won out over his mind.

"Come," he whispered.

She looked at him uncertainly.

"Trust me," he said again with feeling.

This time as she gazed into his eyes, realization dawned upon her and she paused. Severus held his breath as he awaited her response. He wanted to make her better. Like a fool, he wanted to try to make her happy. Maybe in saving her, he would save himself. It sounded selfish, but didn't he deserve it too? Didn't she? Maybe they had both suffered enough.

Hermione thought about what he was offering her. He was giving her himself. But did she want it. Her heart immediately cried out yes. Her mind was weary, but also hopeful. She had always admired him from afar, but had never made the connection. In here she could feel their bond. And she realized he was perfect for her. Could she go back and try again with him? The answer came easily.

She leaned back and held his gaze. Her hand snaked down and found his. He started, but quickly grasped it in return.

"I trust you." Severus searched her eyes and saw that she was being honest. She wanted to try again with him too. He smiled, and Hermione thought he had never been more attractive. He lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Then let us away."

They closed their eyes. Snape was praying they had enough strength to get out and make it back home. He could feel Hermione concentrating on him as well. This was more up to her than him. But the tugging feeling came soon enough and he gave in, hoping she would follow.

*~*~*~

Snape felt himself gain consciousness again and waking up slowly. He honestly was surprised he had made it. Most likely he wouldn't have if he hadn't taken the Fulcio potion that morning but he was still incredibly weak. Once he was able to sit up, he immediately turned to Hermione and gazed intently at her. She hadn't stirred yet.

The room was thick with tension. Albus and Poppy had realized this was it- Hermione either came back, or she was lost forever. Snape felt as if his entire being was focusing on this one moment. He squeezed her hands and held his breath, willing her to wake up. Still, no reply. Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed while Poppy was nervously twisting her dress around her fingers.

Suddenly Hermione gasped and everyone in the room jumped. Her body tensed and she let the air slowly out of her lungs. Poppy took a step forward but was stayed by the Headmaster's arm. Snape leaned forward close to her face. He didn't know whether she was alive or dying. His stomach was turning somersaults.

Then her eyes fluttered open and she winced. She wasn't used to the light yet. Snape let out the breath he'd been holding, as had the other two occupants of the room. Hermione blinked and noticed the dark figure looming above her face, and he was grinning. The corners of her mouth slightly turned up and she tried to speak. But her throat was dry and sensitive from lack of use and no logical sound came out. At this Poppy ran forward, wand out already diagnosing Hermione's condition. She was incredibly weak, but alive. The medi-witch bustled off and returned momentarily with a dull green liquid. She gently tipped the weaker version of the strengthening potion down her throat. The girl winced at the foul taste and all the while the Headmaster was smiling.

Letting Hermione recuperate, Poppy secretly took Severus' readings, whose hands had never left his former students. She squeaked.

"Severus Snape! You get in bed right this moment!" He was startled and jumped at her yells and glowered at her. She came round the bed, helped him up and ushered him into the next bed to give him equal treatment, plus a sleeping draught.

Once he swallowed the vile liquids he sleepily turned his head and peered at Hermione. She was still. His eyes widened slightly and he started to get up but Dumbledore appeared out of seemingly nowhere and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright my boy. She's just asleep. I suggest you do the same." Snape again winced at the fatherly endearment, but did as he was told and let his body get the restoring it so badly had needed.

*~*~*~

When Snape awoke the next morning having actually slept somewhat peacefully he felt much more refreshed. He lay in bed a few moments and let his mind catch up to the present. He rolled over to look at Hermione; she appeared to be sleeping calmly. He silently watched her chest rise and fall rhythmically. Soon Poppy came bustling in to check on her patients and noticed Severus was awake. She politely coughed alerting Severus to her presence and walked over to him, taking his readings and feeling his forehead. He took it quietly but scowled nonetheless. Satisfied she said she'd return with breakfast and left him his clothes at the end of the bed.

He got up and changed and sat back down on the bed to wait for the food and took in Hermione's sleeping form. She looked so much more peaceful, and he noticed he felt somewhat changed. He remembered the way he had reacted to her last night and wondered if it had just been the stress speaking for them. 'Or maybe she was just so desperate she'd agree to anything at that point.' He smirked.

Having eaten his fill, made sure by Madam Pomfrey herself, she excused him from her care but warned him to take it easy. She had said not to worry about Hermione, and that she would be okay once she was fully relaxed after a few days and Snape departed for the gloomy area he called home. When he entered his rooms he was greeted by an excited Crookshanks who was mewing loudly and rubbed against Snape's legs affectionately. Snape crouched down to scratch the cat's ears.

"Well, your Mistress is home. You'll hardly want to stay here, be glad." He then went to replenish the animal's food and water and take a long shower. As he stood under the hot spray he contemplated his feelings. He thought that maybe they would be more intensified compared to last night and wondered if that was possible. He wondered what it would be like to see her back as her normal self. She certainly had enough wit; she might even be a formidable sparring partner, and she was very intelligent. She could be nice to have around. Maybe she would even teach here. He felt guilty for thinking that. She would most likely choose Charms, so he felt like he was betraying his deceased friend. However, he knew Filius would want it that way. He had also seen how passionate she could be and he wondered what it would feel like to have that kind of passion directed at him, in a non-hateful way that is. He shook his head annoyed with his whimsical musings and stepped out of the shower to dry off.

He changed into a pair of black slacks and a white knit short-sleeved shirt. He wanted to walk around outside today. He'd been cooped up inside for far too long. He went into the living room and opened the curtains to let some sunlight in. 'See, I'm not always a vampire,' he thought ruefully. A knock sounded at the door and he turned to see who could possibly be bothering him now. He sighed when he looked through the invisible peep-hole he'd charmed into the door and opened it a fraction of an inch.

"What."

Minerva McGonagall and Cerelia Sprout stood patiently outside his doorway.

"May we come in Severus?" Minerva asked with her Scottish lilt. Cerelia nodded beside her. He groaned and opened the door allowing them to enter.

"I can't even get rest when I'm ordered too," he said unenthusiastically.

"Nonsense. We've just come to see how you're doing." Minerva eyed him. "Apparently better judging from your cheek," she sniffed.

"We were worried about you Severus and wanted to see how you were now. We've already been to see Hermione, but she wasn't awake yet." Cerelia noticed his apparel. "Are you going somewhere? We didn't mean to keep you."

"I was considering going outside, if that's quite alright with you two harpies." He leaned against the wall, arms crossed. The two women grinned. "Where's your third leg? Hooch decide to skip out on this unplanned and highly bothersome visit?" Snape said in his silkiest voice.

"No," said Minerva. "She's in Hogsmeade. The newest broom model came out on display today. Get the economy rolling and whatnot."

"Hmm, well if you're already in such good spirits Severus, I've some Mandrake seedlings that need to be re-potted," Sprout said, batting her eyelashes. Snape's eyebrow shot up.

He muttered something under his breath. "So this wasn't a casual visit." His voice was cold, but his lips formed a small grin. "At your service as usual Cerelia." He mock bowed causing a giggle from the elated little woman. 'Damn her, she's always so polite.'

"Wonderful, I'll be in the greenhouses in about an hour, if that's alright with you of course?" Snape nodded.

"Well, we'll leave you alone then. I trust we'll see you at dinner," the Transfiguration teacher said skeptically.

"Well if it's a command," he said sourly. The women smiled and said goodbye leaving Snape alone to close and ward his door before heading outside.

He headed out towards the lake. It really was a pleasant day for June, the wind had a slight breeze to it, and just enough clouds to provide the occasional shade. He lifted his face to the sun, soaking in its warmth. Eventually he moved around to the gardens. This was one of his favorite places, especially at night, when all the flowers would be in bloom in the summer, and the smell of roses filled the air. Plus, it was a great place to find unsuspected students snogging.

Suddenly he felt as if someone was staring at him and he turned around. But no one was there. Carefully he turned back to his original direction, but could still not shake the feeling. He looked up at the castle and noticed a person in white looking down at him. It was where the infirmary was, which had to mean Hermione was up. And she was watching him. He thought it rather odd that she should be up and out of bed but nevertheless felt a flash of warmth seep in, and he set off to a hidden side door to go up to check on her. He was almost excited to see her, but he kept his emotions carefully in check as he neared the Hospital wing, he knew Hermione would probably be in a distraught mood.

He calmly opened the door to the infirmary and stepped in. No one else was about and Hermione was still staring out the window so he watched her for a few moments before alerting her to his presence. When he did, she still didn't move and he took a few steps towards her.

"Hermione?" She didn't react. He cleared his throat, "Miss Granger? Are you alright?" This time she turned her head slightly in acknowledgement and continued her gaze out the window.

"I don't know whether I should be thanking you, or trying to kill you," she whispered.

He walked towards her, "Well, I'll leave that up to your discretion." He said it jokingly, but he might as well have been serious. "How are you?"

She was quiet for a few moments before she answered. "I'm tired. And it hurts, but..."her voice trailed off. Snape stood there staring out the window as well, his emotions all jumbled up inside. "Where is Harry?"

Snape had almost forgotten about him. He chose his words carefully.

"He's at St. Mungo's. I've just received a letter from his doctor. He hasn't gotten worse if that's what you're worrying about."

"But not any better?"

"No." He paused remembering it was possible to talk to Potter now, but he wondered if it was wise to let her see him yet. "Perhaps you could write a letter to him? I'm sure he'd be glad to get something from you." He was reaching for anything and knew she could tell.

"Would he be able to read it?" She asked. Snape remained silent. "Then what good would it do."

Snape sighed. "Well you must do something. You cannot stay up here and pout; it's time to move on."

"Correct me if I'm wrong Professor, but you've already tried that approach haven't you?" She said tartly.

He glared at her and went to inspect the shelves of ingredients on the walls. "Well then," he asked picking up a bottle of Skel-E-Grow disinterestedly, "what would you like to do?" Hermione was staring at his long fingers wrapped around the bottle.

"I'm not sure...I haven't really thought about it much..." With that she turned her attention back to the window. Snape had noticed an almost empty bottle of Mandrake root and remembered his appointment with Cerelia Sprout. He turned to look back at Hermione, she looked so lost.

But still, he couldn't baby her. Now that she was here, it was time she move on and stop this. He wouldn't coddle her. 'Even if holding her again sounds tempting-'he shook his head.

"Well," he stood awkwardly in the room facing her. "I'm afraid I have to leave you, I have a prior engagement to attend to." He paused. "Will you be needing anything?" She didn't answer.

At that moment Madam Pomfrey came in and yelled at him. "Severus! Leave! Miss Granger needs her rest! And speaking of that, you should be resting as well, although I'm sure it would do me no good to tell you that..." she muttered.

He spared her a glance telling her he was just leaving as well, turned on his heel and headed down to the greenhouses and Professor Sprout in thought.