Mistaken Impressions

You don't have the coloring for it, but you shine so well. Surrounded by your little friends, your green eyes sparkling your happiness behind those broken glasses you wear, I can almost feel the warmth over here in my dark corner. It's memory warmth though, from when you used to share your light with me.

Are you really content? You tore my heart to pieces just a few days ago, doesn't that cause you any pain? It's hard to tell, you've gotten so good at pretending to wear your heart on your sleeve. But those glasses do more than help you see, they veil you from the world. I, the master of masks, could never hold a candle to you. Just look at how we were in public. Everyone assumed you hated me. You even convinced me quite a few times; I would start to think that our times together were a product of my crazed imagination. But then you would show up that evening and I would dismiss my worries when I felt you in my arms.

Maybe you really did detest me, even when you whispered words of love. Was everything we shared a lie, Harry? Were the words just a convenience just to see what it took to make the ice prince thaw out? Well, if so, you found out. Not a whole bloody lot. I didn't know I was such a sucker.

See, I didn't think this day would come. I knew we had problems; we are both human, despite what either of us professes. I'm evil, you're good. The cosmos dictated that we would always be enemies. Yet, you said it would be fine; we would work it out. Fool that I was, I believed you. I should have known better. Don't trust anyone, they'll betray you if given half a chance. You just had this way about you, though, that made me forget everything I had ever been taught.

Would it have mattered if I had allowed you to tell everyone about us? You thought my hesitancy was because I wanted to protect myself, but it really was to shield you. I'm the son of a dark wizard; obviously you couldn't feel the way you do on your own so I must have charmed you. They would have torn us apart in their attempt to break my supposed hold on you. Yet, you were the one who had the hold on me.

I never knew what you wanted from me. I would have given you everything, if you had just asked. I had already given you me. Did you know that? I was different because you wanted me that way.

It doesn't matter, not anymore. You've made your choice and I can't stop you from doing this. We'll both end up destroyed by your stupidity, but I have to let you make that mistake. I don't want you here if you're not happy with me.

Not to say that I wouldn't do anything to get you back. You want me to stand on the top of Hogwarts and announce to the world that I'm yours? Battle Voldemort in a wizard duel? I don't care, I'll do it! You are the most important thing to me. Happy? You made me feel.

So, what's going to happen to you now, since you don't have me to lean on anymore? They all need you to be the strong one. Who's going to really understand you, Harry? When you wake up screaming from the memories, who's going to hold you? They don't want you human, they want a hero.

As for me, hell, I don't know which way is up anymore. Nothing is right in my life. I don't know how I get through the days, much less the nights. Every night, I go back to our room, hoping you'll be there to tell me this is all just a nightmare.

But it's not a dream, it's reality. For now, you've decided not to come back and I know how stubborn you can be once you've made up your mind. So, what choice do I really have? Mark my words, though. You'll regret this. But I'll be waiting anyway, no matter how long it takes.

Harry did his best to ignore the young man sitting in the shadows by the entrance of the Three Broomsticks. He had instantly known when Draco had arrived and had been relieved when he didn't make a scene. Harry wasn't sure what he would have done in that circumstance, he was still fighting with the need to be with Draco and the desire to get as far away from him as possible.

Smiling brightly at his two friends, he tried to pay attention to their spirited conversation. His mind, however, had other plans and kept wandering off to that last night he had talked to Draco. He just couldn't dismiss the image of Draco sitting on the floor, his grey eyes bewildered and sad. Then there was the blood he had found on his face where Draco had caressed him. It could have only come from Draco and for it to be fresh enough for him to transfer it to Harry, it must have come from a wound; a wound Draco had given himself while in the room.

His hand absently came up to softly trace his jawbone where the blood had been while his head and heart battled over what those thoughts meant. He wanted so much to believe that it meant that Draco loved him, but his mind refused to accept it, remembering all the hurt and disappointment that he had been through. No one treated their loved one that way, it just wasn't done.

Harry was so engrossed in his thoughts, he didn't notice when Ron and Hermione stopped talking and just looked at him. When Ron finally coughed in warning, Harry jumped, startled. Blushing under the amused looks of his friends, he said, "Sorry, didn't mean to ignore you." He picked up his goblet of pumpkin juice and tried to hide behind it by taking a drink.

Ron and Hermione exchanged a knowing look and scooted their chairs closer to Harry. Hermione gave Harry a conspiratial grin and said, "So, who is she?"

Harry spluttered the gulp of juice he had just swallowed. "What?" he asked around his coughing.

Ron laughed and pounded Harry on the back. "You know, the girl you love."

Groaning, he sat back in his chair. "What makes you think I'm in love?"

"Because we recognize the look of confusion and desperate hope." Hermione said simply. "And you're staring off into space for no apparent reason. I bet if I were to ask you what you were thinking so deeply about, you couldn't give me a good answer that didn't involve love, could you?"

Harry squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. To think they finally got around to noticing it after he had broken up with the person responsible for his trouble. "Well, no," he admitted after a moment, unable to come up with a decent evasion.

Ron crowed, "See, we know you better than you know yourself. So, tell us about her."

Biting his lip, Harry said softly, "I can't." He silently pleaded to his companions to let it drop at that, but knew it was probably pointless.

He was proved right when Ron scowled at him "Why not? We're your friends!"

Hermione reached over and put her hand on top of his hands, which were sitting clasped on the table, giving them a slight squeeze. "Harry, if it's such a big secret, we won't tell anyone. You should know that."

Shaking his head, Harry replied, "That's not the problem. I promised-" he stopped suddenly, knowing he said too much.

"Promised who?" Hermione pounced on the little scrap of information Harry let slip.

"He must have promised the girl." Ron sat back in his chair, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Will you two please drop it?"

"Of course not, as your best friends it's our right to pry into your love life." Hermione said with a smug grin at Harry. He groaned and dropped his head to the table, knowing this was about to get worse.

Ron and Hermione chattered above his head about whom his mysterious love interest was and why she would want it kept a secret. Realizing that saying anything would just encourage them and possibly give away more than he wanted, he kept out of the conversation and instead let his mind drift back to Draco.

Hermione prodded Harry, jolting him again out of his thoughts. Picking his head off the table, she gave him a bright smile. "Okay, you can come up now. We're finished."

Ron amended Hermione's statement, "For tonight anyways. Hey, did you hear that the Cannons actually won last night?" Harry laughed at Ron's glee and decided to put Draco firmly from his mind so he could focus on his true friends.

After a while, the three decided to leave as they had things to do in the morning. Harry fell behind his two friends as they headed towards the door, keeping his eyes on the floor. He was too busy studying the ground to see Draco lash out and tug on his robes. Harry ended up stumbling, catching himself on Draco's table.

Picking himself up, he turned to face his former lover with a bit of unease. Harry knew this was the start of that scene he had been dreading. But he supposed it was inevitable and dusted his robes off while waiting for Draco to make the first move.

Draco in the meanwhile was looking him over carefully, with a chilly smile on his face. "Potter, you should be more careful. You might hurt someone." Draco finally drawled lightly.

Anger spurred through Harry. Draco was the reason he couldn't concentrate, Draco was the reason he couldn't confide in his best friends, Draco was the reason his heart and mind were all tied in knots. And Draco had the gall to blame it on him! His hands itched to wrap themselves around that neck and shake him until he cried for mercy. Instead, he stared with fury in his eyes at his beloved and replied, "At least I'm not a coward."

A small smirk played along Draco's mouth and he raised an eyebrow lazily. "Me, a coward? I prefer to think of it as understanding human nature. If you ever get down from that ivory tower you're locked yourself in, you might pick up a thing or two."

Harry clenched his fists tightly; unable to see why for a moment he had ever thought he loved this cruel person. "Malfoy, if it means I would have to be like you, I would rather stay quite unenlightened."

Draco's entire body stilled for a brief moment at Harry's heated remark, but he quickly recovered and stood up. His cool eyes raked Harry up and down disdainfully and he scornfully said, "I wouldn't worry too much about it, Potter. You have a hard enough time just seeing what's under your nose. The mysteries of the real world will probably be over your head." Without waiting for a reply, he strolled out the room.

"That bastard." Ron took a furious step after him with his fist clenched. Hermione grabbed his arm, holding him back. Shaking off her hand, he crossed his arms and glowered, almost challenging Draco to come back.

Hermione instead turned to Harry and gave him an encouraging hug. "Ignore him, Harry. He's just a fool."

Ron nodded in agreement, glaring at the door still "Yeah, if he had gone through half the stuff you've been through in your life, he wouldn't say that."

Harry returned Hermione's hug while his eyes were on the same door Ron was staring at. His rage was draining out of him and instead was replaced by a cold heaviness in his heart. Everything was so wrong and it took all his strength to not run after Draco. Instead, he turned to Ron and Hermione and gave them a smile he wasn't feeling. "You're right, he's not worth it," he said with resolve, hoping his heart would hear the words and take heed. Stuffing his fists into the pockets of his robe, he walked out of the inn with his two friends close behind.