Hogwarts Revisited

Hogwarts Revisited

by FSR

Chapter Sixteen

Harry and Draco quickly forgot all about The Greyback Incident. It was probably easier not to remember.

"Malfoy?"

"You know... Potter, I have the first name and I give you special permission to call me by it."

"Really? How very generous of you."

"So, what did you want?"

"Well, I don't know... maybe, to talk?"

"Oh."

"What do you mean, oh?"

"Didn't know our relationship improved so spectacularly."

"Well, it sort of did. I guess a man can get used to anything."

"Yeah, if someone had told me a year ago that I'd get used to Harry Potter as a husband -- I don't know, it still sounds ridiculous."

"I am not that bad!"

"Yes, you are."

"Why?"

"Well, first off, you are ugly -"

"Am I? Just for your information, Malfoy, I can change my appearance! And you are not sex god yourself!"

"I am at least blond!"

"So what? I like red hair!"

"You don't! It's... so Weasley!"

"I happen to like them!"

"It's ridiculous! My hair is perfect!"

"I didn't say it was bad!"

"Aha! You admit that you like it!"

"I don't!"

Draco emitted a sound that indicated he'd been pushed too far.

"All right! All right! Your hair is okay!"

"That's better. Don't you think your messy black hair and my white blond hair make a perfect match?"

"I actually don't. I think it's so cliché."

"AAAARGH! I hate you, Potter!"

"It's also cliché."

Draco turned his back to Harry. Potter, no wonder you are my soul mate! No one can get to me the way you do!

***

"Potter?"

"What?"

"I've been without sex for quite a while now..."

"And?"

"I want sex."

"And?"

"Stop and-ing! I want sex now and you are, apparently, the only person who should give it to me!"

"First off, I am on the eight month of my pregnancy! How do you think I'll manage to have sex?"

"Well, you still have your mouth!"

"So?"

"So, you can blow me!"

"Blow you! I am fucking pregnant and you want me to blow you! Like some cheap whore!"

"Everyone is doing it!"

"I am not everyone!"

"Maybe it's your chance to become like all other normal people?"

"The answer is still no. Anyway, I think I have no blowjob talent whatsoever."

"You should at least try!"

"I don't want to!"

"Didn't you blow Charlie?"

"Um... it was a bit impossible..."

"Why?"

"His... thing... wouldn't fit into my mouth."

"Oh. I had the same problem with Jerkins."

"They are perfect for each other."

"Yes, they probably are."

"So handsome and masculine -- not like we are at all."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look at me -- I am pregnant -- not very masculine trait at all. And you are, um... blond!"

"So?"

"It makes you look a tiny bit like a girl."

"It does not!"

"It does!"

"I think you are trying to change topic. So, we were talking about sex."

"I am not trying to change topic because quite obviously we are not going to have sex! At least not now."

"All right. But you still can be so kind and help me."

"How?"

"Um, lend a hand?"

"That's disgusting!"

"Why would it be disgusting?"

"Come on, Malfoy, it's just gross! Don't you have your own hand?"

"It's not the same."

"We'll talk about it later. When I am not so pregnant."

"Ugh! Good night!!!"

"Yeah, sure."

Author's Notes:

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