Selfless, Cold and Composed

Cold, Selfless and Composed.

Staring down at your lifeless body, your hair is a shade lighter than the blood collecting in the cracks of the tiles in the bathroom. Forgetting the awkward position you are in, I realise the blood in the bathwater has not yet congealed. Dipping a finger into the water in the tub, and then into my mouth, the acidic tang of vinegar reaches my tastebuds. I smile for one short moment, the only emotion I have felt in the four days I have spent looking at your wasted form in the prefects' bathroom. You always were so vain Virginia; you obviously wanted to be appreciated until the very end.

I don't want to move, and I couldn't move you if I tried. You won't be touched ever again, you can't be buried, oh no, you're far too pretty for that my dear girl. Too pretty. Why did you do this? Why did you find it so easy to let go of everything? Why did you let go of me? How could you leave me alone like this?

You Slut.

I feel hot tears spurting from my eyes and sense a sharp pain in my palms; small pink crescents have been indented on my skin. My skin, I shouldn't have skin I think to myself... in fact, I won't need my skin now that you're not here, I will not need it for much longer

I am not human.

I am above humanity.

I am above death.

'But you are young', a voice hisses from the darkest most forgotten corner of my soul.

Young and stupid.

And in love.

Your skin is so white and smooth, taking a step closer to the swimming pool sized tub a strangled cry of horror escapes my lips as I reach for your hand floating in the crimson water. Your wrist, your beautiful wrist has three horizontal red slashes across it, still angry and swollen, from the vinegar I'm presuming.

How long does it take for the entire human body to lose all its blood?, I wonder.

I take your knife from its place on the bathroom floor, and run my finger over its sharp, curt edge and smile and the sting of its imprint on my thumb and the trickle of a cold dark red, barely human blood that runs down my own wrist.

My feet are pink and fleshy in comparison to the bone coloured marble of the bath's steps, surprisingly the water is still warm. The acidic water sends tingles up my legs, and, as I sink into the water, clutching you in my arms, they rise up my chest and the back of my neck. Just looking at you now, you finally being so close to me, just feels somewhat different to all the other embraces we have shared. There aren't any secret feelings in this hug, on my behalf at least, I can hold you as tight as I want, and put my hands places I've never been allowed to before when you were alive.

You've never really let me touch you... not the in the way I've needed it.

But now... there is no one here but us, you slashed the mermaid's painting, my clever little Gin. So there is no one here to deprive me of my desires I have hankered for too long, almost a lifetime, it seems.

Your life time.

This is not the first real kiss you and I have shared, but the taste of your lips is different now, it engulfs me, your unresisting mouth opens wider, as my teeth tear your tongue out shock waves are sent through my body, your blood covers my own mouth and I can taste your actual life. But my body does not permit me to stop at this.

Though I have mourned for you, your loss has a hidden delight, and that delight is you, and you are all mine. So I take you, wholly and in everyway I have ever found possible, over and over again. I cannot stop myself, and as I spill my pleasure inside you, in your mouth and in the water I become more aggressive. At the sound of your spine breaking up against the rim of the tub I slide under the water, unbelievably exhausted.

Your broken body has sunk to the bottom of the small pool and your flaming hair fans out around your head in the now murky red water. I pick up the knife again and place you on the marble steps. Like you are an object of sacrifice to the gods on an altar, I cut all of your beautiful hair from your crown and throw it into the still steaming water, and then I do the same to my own.

Finally I take the knife and finish the task of myself.

My blood darkens the water even more. As the room grows black I wonder who will find our bodies entangled together, and who will find our red hair floating on the surface of the black water.