De Die In Diem: From Day To Day

Janos

Lucius woke one morning, like any other morning, but received a post that changed his life forever. Janos had died the night before. He had not expected this, and was shocked. Sitting down on his bed, Lucius remained lost in thought for an hour before getting up and preparing for the day ahead.

Lucius went into his study, unlocked his liquor cabinet and pulled out a special bottle of fire whisky he'd been saving for this day. Pulling the stopper out of it, he took a sip and swallowed down the burning liquid.

Leaving the study, he took the whisky bottle, and headed downstairs for his walking stick and cloak. Narcissa passed him in the hall, looked at the bottle, and commented, "Getting started a bit early today aren't you?" Lucius ignored her and continued walking to the stairs. "If you're going to Adriana's, tell her I said 'hello'," She called before disappearing into her bedroom.

Lucius apparated to Adriana's house yet didn't seek her out. He took his whisky, walked to the back of the property, and up to the top of the hill. He sat under the olive tree, which had no leaves yet, as it was still March. Looking down at the windmill, he let the movements of the blades lull him into a stupor, while he continued to drink.

Adriana woke up at around ten in the morning. After taking a shower and eating breakfast, she went outside to milk the cow. She didn't notice Lucius until she had finished and was walking back to the house with a heavy bucket of milk. Setting it on the porch, Adriana walked up the hill and sat down next to him.

The bottle of whisky was almost empty, yet Lucius kept a tight hold on it. Adriana had never seen him this way before. His hair and clothes were disheveled and he didn't seem to care in the least. Lucius seemed so lost in thought that Adriana had a difficult time getting his attention. Finally, crawling in front of him, grabbing his face in her hands, and shouting his name seemed to snap him out of it. "Lucius, what's the matter? What happened?" Adriana was frightened over seeing him like this.

Obviously drunk, Lucius' breath reeked of alcohol and he slurred his words, "Janos died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Lucius," Adriana replied, putting her arms around him and holding him tightly.

"I'm not," He replied, pushing her away. "You have no idea what it's like being that man's son," Lucius said. An image of his son, Draco flashed in Adriana's mind, she might not, but Draco could probably sympathize. She knew better than to say anything and remained silent.

Lucius had never seemed bitter in the time she'd known him, yet that's what she heard tinged in his voice. She sat back and watched as he hugged his knees to his chest and brought the bottle back to his lips for another mouthful of whisky. "You know, I'm really happy. If I had known how great it would feel when that bastard kicked the bucket, I swear, I'd have killed him myself a long time ago."

"Oh, you don't mean that, he couldn't have been that bad, could he?" Adriana replied. She didn't like him speaking of killing people.

Lucius peeled off the glove of his right hand, and waved his fingers in front of Adriana. Grabbing his hand gently and looking at it, she saw that the very tip of his pinkie finger was missing, but healed over, as though it had been cut off a long time ago. "That's what happens to bad little boys who reach across the dinner table," Lucius smiled sadly at the obviously painful memory. "I can remember all the blood. Janos had called me into his study after dinner...I was making such a mess with all that blood, so he picked up an ember from the fire with the tongs and cauterized my finger, the bleeding stopped," Lucius explained, with his eyes downcast.

Adriana felt sick to her stomach. Her eyes filled with tears, her mouth dropped open and she continued to hold his hand. "How old were you?"

"Five," He replied.

Adriana reeled from that revelation. How could any parent do such a thing to their child? She knew she never could have done such a thing. How damaged was Lucius? What other unspeakable things had his father done to him? And how had he managed to live with all of that for such a long time?

Adriana hadn't seen Lucius drink in large quantities before and wondered if it was something he learned from Janos. She asked him. "No, he never drank. He did his best 'parenting' sober. He liked the clarity of mind and found alcohol to calm him down far too much for his pleasure," Lucius explained to her. "Unfortunately, that's one of the traits he passed down to me. What I'd give for the ability to piss away my memories of that man," He continued. "Just stay drunk from sun up to sun down, what a life." Adriana felt truly frightened for Lucius.

He seemed to be in a particularly revealing mood, for he continued. "Everything had to be perfect for Janos, everything in its proper place, but I never seemed to be good enough at that for him. He always found the littlest thing I forgot," Lucius took a sip of whisky and swallowed it quickly.

"Once, when I was ten, I was in the front hall, looking at his school medals. They were so bright and shiny, and he'd won so many, I loved to look at them. I'd spend hours just gazing at them. He caught me the one time I dared to touch them. He wrenched my arm behind me and hauled me up to his study. That's where everything happened, the study. That way my mother wouldn't hear it and try to interfere. There was a whip he kept on the mantel above the fireplace. He made me take my shirt off and lie across his desk with my arms spread out. I don't know how many lashes I got, it must have gone on for 10 minutes at least. By the time it was all over, my lips and tongue were bleeding from trying to keep from crying out. I think the only reason he stopped was because his arm got too tired to keep on whipping me. It hurt for months afterwards, and I still have scars on my back. I'll show them to you sometime," Lucius concluded.

"Did your mother never find out what he did to you?" Adriana asked. "Didn't she ever try to stop him?"

"We're not talking about my mother!" screamed Lucius as he backed away defensively from her. Lucius tried to stand up, but stumbled back onto the ground and remained seated under the tree.

Holding onto the tree to keep from toppling over with dizziness, Lucius changed the subject, "What the hell kind of tree is this anyway? I've never seen anything like it before."

"It's an olive tree, from Greece. My father left it to me," Adriana hoped she could help calm him down.

"Oh, that's right, your perfect father, with your perfect family. You always spent time at Christmas together, talking and liking each other. You were so damn smug that day, do you know how hard it was not to hit you? If I could have slapped that arrogant look off your face that day, I would have," Lucius snarled at her.

Adriana was hurt at the now tarnished memory of their Christmas celebration together, but told herself it was the alcohol talking. He probably didn't really remember that day like that. But she couldn't help the tears from springing to her eyes again.

Lucius raised the empty whisky bottle to his face and looked at it before taking the last drink. "Here's to you, Janos," He said as he brought the bottle to his lips. After swallowing the last drop in the bottle, he threw it down at Adriana's feet, where it shattered to pieces. "That bastard, he won again. He died before I could tell him how much I hate him." With that, Lucius attempted one last time to stand up again, but passed out half-way through and ended up landing on some of the glass he had broken.

Adriana cringed and bent over Lucius' still body. She gently floated him in front of her and walked with him into her house. Laying him on her bed, she peeled his clothes off of him, in order to find the glass shards better. It took an hour of painstaking work to take all the glass out of him, and he didn't stir the whole time.

When she was done, she sat at Lucius' side, holding his hand, while he slept. Brushing the hair out of his face, she rolled him onto his side, and sat lay down next to him. She hated seeing him in so much pain, especially when she couldn't really help him. She held him while he slept the day away, and on into the night, where she kept watch over him tenderly.

When he finally woke up the next afternoon, Lucius couldn't remember anything he'd said the day before. He'd totally blacked out and the only memory he had was that Janos had died. Adriana didn't dare repeat anything he'd told her, knowing he'd hate himself for revealing so much of himself to her, and allowed him to think that she knew nothing more of his past than what he'd told her already. Lucius and Adriana sat in bed for the rest of the day, not speaking. He held onto her tightly, with his head against her chest, being soothed by the sound of her heartbeat.