Kiss the Girl

Kiss the Girl

Chapter Two

I Love You...Seamus?

~*~

***

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

--Tom Lehrer

***

After Harry retrieved his wayward friend from the care of Madame Pomfrey--who could not for the life of her find a problem with Ron, but gave him some chocolate anyway--a long conversation took place on the meaning of being a Gryffindor.

"Bravery, courage...Any of these ringing a bell?" Harry said, giving Ron a withering look as they walked down a drafty corridor.

"Harry, Hermione makes facing You-Know-Who look easy."

"Okay, fine. I'll tell Hermione I love her and you can beat the Dark Lord. I've been waiting for ages for somebody to take the responsibility off my hands, and if you want to do it, so be it." Harry could not keep the ends of his lips from turning up, and soon broke out a smile.

The boys laughed at the comment, it was no secret that Harry was expected to kill Lord Voldemort; in fact it was taken for granted.

But the way he had said it...they way Harry talked about You-Know-Who with such ease, sent a chill up Ron's spine. The taller boy decided not to press his concerns upon his friend; afraid of the answers he might receive.

***

After the two companions had given the Fat Lady the password (Snigglebuck) they mounted the steps of their quarter, thinking that they would just drop off their bags and go down to the Great Hall for dinner. However, when they got there, not all went as planned.

The second Harry and Ron were through the door the lights went off and the door was shut behind them. Harry withdrew his wand, easily giving the object the command for light, "Lumos!" Ron followed the example, and the two were very surprised to see not an imminent evil they faced, but their three roommates.

"What the--"

"Hey now," Dean pointed his wand at Ron, "Let's keep this PG." With that the boy reinstated the lights, revealing a very pissed Ron, and a speculating Harry."

"Please gentlemen, have a seat." Harry raised an eyebrow, but plopped down on the bed anyway. Ron hesitated, but soon lowered his body next to Harry's.

Now it was Seamus' turn to speak. As he talked he began to pace, looking much like a military dictator in the pictures of old. "It has come to our attention, through the word of one Neville Longbottom--Neville was also in the room and blushed as his name was mentioned--that one, Harry Potter, has taken new lengths in pairing the two Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Do I speak truth?" He whirled then, facing the bed that held his two victims, for lack of a better word.

Harry and Ron only stared.

"ANSWER ME!"

The two boys nodded wildly, hoping the young Irish interrogator who stood before them would draw a point soon. Their prayers were answered as Dean got up from his chair and led Seamus to the recently vacated seat. "Seamus, man, relax." Leaving his friend behind him, Dean came before Harry and Ron. "You are charged with a very serious crime." He shook his head in mock despair.

"And what would that be?" Ron gulped.

"Why, not including us of course!" A grin grew across Dean's face as he pulled his two friends up. "You can't play matchmaker without me, Seamus and Neville!"

Harry and Ron both sighed in relief, glad to be out of their precarious position. "Of course we meant to include you," Harry lied, "But you beat us to the chase."

Dean gave Harry a look that seemed to say 'I'm not that dumb.' However, he didn't dwell long on the deception as he turned to Neville and called, "Bring out the charts!" Neville scurried to his trunk, only to retrieve two very large pieces of parchment. He magicked them to stay in the air (without blowing them up I might add,) and then used his wand as a pointer. "After much research the three of us have decided that Ron can only get the girl if he follows these suggestions."

The parchment (In awful handwriting) read as such:

"How to Get Ron and Hermiknee Together..."

"Real nice spelling on "Hermione" guys, but she's not something attached to my leg." Ron snickered.

"Read!" Seamus barked. Everybody in the room did as he said, driven mostly by fear.

"Step One: Practice

Step Two: Charm

Step Three: Serenade

Step Four: Admit undying love

Step Five: Get married and let Dean, Neville, and Seamus write a speech for your wedding

Step Six: Give birth to triplets and name them Dean, Neville, and Seamus. You can always name one of the girls Harriet."

"Wow, guys," Ron gulped, "You sure put a lot of thought into this. Even our children are planned."

"Not to everyone's liking," Harry mumbled.

"Sometimes we even amaze ourselves," Dean said smugly.

Harry got up to investigate the parchment. "Not all of it looks completely ridiculous--"

"HEY!" Dean and Seamus cried in outrage. After a delayed period of time, Neville realized he too had been insulted, but didn't say anything as Dean and Seamus already had.

"--Take for example, "Practice," that has some merit to it. I mean, as long as it isn't anything that involves hanky-panky--I don't think Hermione would appreciate that." Ron blushed to the roots of his hair.

"Of course it's not anything like that." Seamus scoffed. "Ron will simply tell one of us what he would tell Hermione, so he can practice what he wants to say. Judging by our reaction, we can tell if he should say that or not." The boy stood back and smiled to himself.

"One-two-three, not it!" Dean cried.

"Not it!"

"Me neither!"

And that left Seamus. "Hey, guys...why do I have to be Hermione?"

"Because you explained the plan, you'll be the best out of any of us." Dean winked at Neville and Harry, "Won't he guys?"

Harry and Neville were quick to voice their agreement. The former then pushed Ron to the floor where he landed on his knees, "Good positioning Ron," Started Neville, "Not the same as you would do for a proposal, but perfect for a declaration to your girl."

"Did you just say 'your girl'?"

"No?"

"I didn't think so."

"Wait a minute!" Seamus cried, "I'm not ready yet!" And indeed, Seamus had disappeared behind his bed, only to come out again when a blanket was wrapped around his body, in the style of a very crude dress. It also seemed that Seamus' lips were a bit glossier than usual, but nobody seemed wanting to comment on that. One hand held a paper that had been crinkled into a makeshift fan, with which Seamus was "cooling" himself. "Ready," He said, in what he thought was a feminine voice.

"Revolting," Dean whispered in Harry's ear.

"Hermione is nothing like that!" Ron shouted.

Nobody realized that during this display the door had opened, revealing a perplexed redhead. "I should certainly hope not!" Ginny remarked.

Ron and Seamus blushed; Dean, Neville, and Harry fell to the floor in great gawuffs of laughter, barely able to breathe as they tried to sit up. Ginny rolled her eyes, as she entered and shut the door behind her. However, Ron swore he heard her snicker.

"That's it! I'm not doing this!" Ron was now so red he might have been mistaken for a tomato.

"Oh yes you are!" Harry said as he managed to pull himself up onto the bed, where he scooted over for Ginny. "Come on, we promise we won't laugh again." Dean and Neville nodded, Ginny just sat down next to Harry.

"Okay, Ron, did you have something to tell me?" 'Hermione' said.

"Um, yes, yes I did. Seamus...er...Hermione, I wanted to let you know I think you're wonderful. I really want you to know that, and to know that I will always be here for you, among all else as a friend. You see, I..." Ron trailed off, looking to Harry for support. However, it seemed Harry was pretending to cry on Ginny's right shoulder, as Dean sobbed on her left. Neville just kind of watched from his place on the floor.

"Right," Ron continued, "I would like to be more than a friend though Sea--Hermione. I want to be able to hold you and tell you that I love you, even if I can't right now. So, what I'm trying to say..."

"Yes, Ron." Seamus batted his eyelashes and cast a gaze to his suitor. (AN: Eww! How wrong is all this?)

"Would you be my girlfriend?" Dean blew his nose.

Seamus, caught up in the moment, threw his arms around Ron. "Yes! Oh yes, Ron! And we can name the children after your lovely roommates!"

Ginny wiped a tear from her eyes as she uttered, "That was so beautiful." Dean nodded his head and Neville applauded wildly. Harry looked kind of grossed out.

Seamus had yet to let go Ron, though the latter party was trying to dissuade him, or her, or Seamus/Hermione...Oh whatever.

Just then the door opened to reveal none other than...

...

...

Fred and George! Well, them, and not to mention Hermione, who they were helping look for Ron and Harry.

"Oh my God!" Hermione screamed as she saw Seamus wearing his costume and hugging Ron. "What the bloody hell is going on here?" On noticing her arrival, Ron had given Seamus a final shove, causing the other boy to go flying into the wall. On seeing this spectacle the entourage on and by the bed fell over in hysterics, much to Hermione's vexation. It looked as if Ginny was trying to explain to Hermione the circumstance, but gave in to a fit of giggles as Hermione's face turned every color of the rainbow.

Fred and George smiled to themselves, there was nothing like the smell of chaos in the evening.